Everything that’s happened in the 2024 NHL playoffs

Recapping the 2024 NHL Stanley Cup playoffs as quick as we possibly can before the start of the Stanley Cup Final.

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let’s recap the playoffs ahead of the 2024 Stanley Cup Final Pete the Leafs open the playoffs and nobody could explain why William neander was missing the Dallas Stars learned about AI leading to the worst playoff theme of all time Conor huk and Alexander gorg have had a first round suck off Pete Cyber Bullied the Dallas Stars so they stopped doing that AI thing the Bruins finally implemented a playoff goalie rotation for literally the shortest amount of time possible Sergey bosski made a save out in frosi Brad marshan broke Sheldon Keef’s brain after everyone said they’d get swept in the first round the Washington Capitals got swept in the first round and Alex oetkin had zero points that guy sucks the golden knights and stars played for the Stanley Cup in the first round the Stars won which the golden knights confirmed in kind of weird fashion the most important thing to have in the playoffs is goal tending which is why the Winnipeg Jets who have the best goenda to the brink and the Leafs pushed their rating to PG-13 on the bench because they were swearing at each other Jeremy Swan became the best may or may not have talked about his penis on television the New York Islanders fell in love with giving up a bunch of goals in a row to the Carolina Hurricanes and it cost them their season and the Hurricanes told them to go cry about it Cody CeCe did something cool somebody was horny at the Kings game thater Demco got hurt leading to Casey Des Smith’s time in net for the Canucks Casey Des Smith got hurt which led to Archer Sheila’s time in net for the Canucks the Panthers proved capable of eliminating the lightning ESPN proved incapable of talking about anything but Steven Stam Co Taylor lean kid won con Smite in the first round Shaquille O’Neal showed up on the TNT set and then Shaquille O’Neal showed up on the TNT set and then he he would not stop showing up on the TNT set the leavs continued on in the playoffs and nobody could explain Austin Matthew’s sudden absence the Maple Leafs came back against the Bruins in an effort to prove that Boston’s the biggest choker and then David po the leafes choked in that series P knock is there he scores the LA Kings proved they are addicted to losing to the Oilers PK suban denied the talking about the penis on TV allegations the Canucks and predators blocked 1 billion shots until only one of them was left alive and it was the Vancouver Canucks the what a pro want commercial made a lot of us die what a pro wants what we saw an unprecedented amount of Too Many Men penalties not for like the war for the Bruins the Sharks won the number one overall pick in the most boring draft lottery ever the Maple Leafs told Sheldon Keef to hit the road and he said I’ll hit the beach instead zman and sha sparked the Spring’s biggest Romance the Panthers rattled and Confused the Bruins to the point that David pook fought Matthew kachuck respect to David pook he lost the New York Rangers kept winning games in the most dramatic way possible leading them to be dubbed the annual team of Destiny the Dallas Stars proed that behind every great coach stands a woman with boobs Sam Bennett knocked out Brad marshan with a sneaky rabbit punch and nobody felt bad for Brad marshan Puck don’t lie though because then Sam Bennett scored a goal that should have been allowed and everyone knew it shouldn’t have been allowed and it was allowed Archer shilov became the best goenda as steuart Skinner lost his job Carson Susi went up to Conor McDavid and said off with your head dance till you’re dead Brad Marshon said everyone is out there trying to hurt each other making him an honest hero that his detractors were very upset to respect this guy tried to be as handsome as Jared bnar and it didn’t work the Dallas boobs lady wasn’t alone there was a boobs copycat and of course the guy who bangs on the glass and people didn’t really like him Val nushin was suspended for violating the League’s player assistance program and the wheel started to fall off in Colorado eigor shurkin became the best goie ever Elias Pon sucked until he was forced to give one of the most depressing press comes ever Jacob trouba attempted murder Jordan martinook became the best golender ever Paul Maurice and Jim Montgomery started acting awfully silly Chris krider eliminated the Carolina Hurricanes leading them to cry about it and then they showed a kid in the crowd and he was crying the Panthers eliminated the Bruins do in part to Gus foring being the greatest player in the history of hockey the Stars finally put the Colorado Avalanche out of their misery the Canucks caught a horrible break when Brock besser was ruled out due to blood clotting with steuart Skinner back at the helm the Oilers snuck past the Vancouver Canucks in a seven game series that nobody really saw coming and speaking of things nobody saw coming Cody CeCe was a hero in game seven of all people to make it what nothing Phil pronic was not injured but he was pissy well what do you want me to say the Rangers and Panthers met in the Eastern Conference Final which is really confusing because the Rangers anthem singer looks a lot like the Panthers playback play guy Charles Barkley and Leon dry Sidle spark the Spring’s biggest romance hockey was saved by the Stanley pups we got a conference final match up featuring two best friends Arty paner and Sergey barowski Rangers fans and media answered the age- old question how can we make everything about Matt Rey Matt Ry played Matt Rey played more than he thought he would play Matt Ry played more than he thought he would play and then he said Jiminy crickets jimy crickets so let’s go and then yeah isn’t hockey better with Matt Ry in it there were some three ing reactions to overtime game winners I stand by it Canuck’s kicking ass this stream is over Don wadell complimented Seth jarvis’ testicles and then immediately left for Columbus Conor McDavid proved himself to be a playoff choker and one period later proved himself to be the most clutch player in NHL history the Rangers and Panthers just kept going Overton coaches used their press conference to answer questions about their respective series but Paul Maurice used his to Workshop some material [ __ ] me my get at that you see how I did that R aint returned to the Dallas Stars lineup and Jason Robertson got himself a hatrick Jacob trouba attempted murder again Darnell Nur saved a goal with his butt and then scored a goal with his butt but it was on the wrong net damn it Jake oer stick played better against the Oilers Than Jake Ginger did the Panthers were smothering the Rangers until they forced themselves to score on themselves Chris krider took Matthew kachuck mouth guard a fascinating Trend hit the NHL that Trend teams going an hour without shots on net Jacob trouba tried to kill a bunch of guys the Rangers and it worked Cory Perry became a second liner Philip broberg became an NHL player and Chris noblock became a genius an Oilers fan used her boobs to make hockey the most popular sport in North America you go girl the Panthers won the Eastern Conference and they said we’re not touching that Trophy this time and the Oilers reached the Stanley Cup Final while Conor McDavid reach new levels of uncomfortable thank you so much man thank you so much and that’s the story of the 2024 Stanley Cup playoffs now it’s the Stanley Cup [Music] Final we all sitting like the mayor