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R keing sha all episodes and the r keing sh today she’s seeing your [ __ ] Nemesis behind your back yes tell us about the pictures you discovered she sent pictures to him of him and her naked in bed with each [Music] other oh nice oh Jesus Christ so he definitely put her in his own trophy cabinet while she was yours yes or no yes def fing Langer let’s get him [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] on for 12 months he’s been flirting with my trophy I’ve had enough I never took her while she was yours she is not your trophy anymore little boy she is all mine I left you in December deal with it stop stalking me and Cristiano as if stealing the love of his life wasn’t enough there’s something else you’ve got to tell messy about isn’t there you [ __ ] longer go on be honest tell him before I off iner what is it what now oh nice oh Jesus Christ no not both my loves I can’t take it he went for the [ __ ] slap he should have gone for the stamp I am the best the most handsome I am CR7 and we will now live in a polyamorous 3 way relationship well I hope that you can make that work and if you can’t then the trophies will have a decision to make in 12 months time we’re going to ask them to go that way together give them a round of applause ladies and gentlemen oh nice oh Jesus me best to look to them and to Leon his quest to win them back it would help if you won an international trophy you fing longer and the Champions League too you flute thanks for watching join us next week when we reveal the results of Cristiano Jr’s DNA test it’ll blow your fing mind good [Music] night what the hell did letting just watch how can you claim to have saved his United Career you fcking ler nobody call slight in faking Langer this shit’s about to go down I didn’t have that bad egg game you couldn’t even get inside play like that I saved your career with my goal that’s how [ __ ] you were what did the big flute do wrong I missed it I was at alinga Halen’s house he tried to catch the ball in his own Penalty Box he missed an easy oneon-one and this airstyle was ridiculous take air tips from me Pogba because I’m worth it you’re all just jealous because Twitter gave me my own Emoji you will shut up this is the ren show and it’s my name on the [ __ ] wall well that escalated quickly stick to your own catchphrases or else I’m going to punch you in the ovary it’s coming for you King’s coming for you okay fair enough uh I was bad but at least I didn’t give the shittest performance in the Premier League this weekend who was that then your fcking longer City well done Paul that’s the best comeback I’ve witnessed in a United shot since the 1999 Champions League final watch the r keing show next week where we reveal all about Pep’s sex change operation what oh just assumed you do it to disguise the fact you’re you’re actually a sh manager you bollocks looks like the procedure has just begun see you next week so why did you push the for official you big lanky streak of French piss he tried to give me advice on how to zip up my jacket you always look so handsome in that puffer jacket dashing French style I love you I hope you get a B for pushing me back you [ __ ] ler stealing my moves in my studio consider yourself number two on the shitless Gran Jacker is really very very good at football that’s my funniest joke yet yeah a some advice please how do you keep beating these shitty clubs I Inspire my players by being part specialist Professor Part bottle kicking ref pushing Olan you’re a specialist in failure that’s it Shaka you bollocks red card in h take that you put me down you every week you making out you’re an nice guy now he’s CED at least we don’t have to play with him he’s terrible at football I’m leaving this is a circus just like thef ah I hate referees they’re all biased against my team and mine and mine I wish I had that excuse join us next week when we give all these wi and [ __ ] managers a Loy detector test to see if any of them are capable of telling the truth about anything fie iner H take that you oh it looks like Jaca is still very much fit much like me this show is [ __ ] mental even by zattin standards so we asked the G and German flute whether he gave two shs about the English Cup competitions or not let’s find out I do give two shes yeah but the players are just so tired no more excuses you [ __ ] longer the ly detector results are in is the for oid fcker telling the truth or lying he’s obviously lying just like that puted Dr AA just like that spineless coward pep when I was at Bara this ban is killing me I should be on stage supporting yurgen I can reveal that the results of the lyd detector see B him at least until the end of season what it’s only a slight graze he barely Touched Me Nothing Stops Kino finishing his Shore the results here clap was telling the truth he does give two shot Zoom I told you I really care for them quow you’re even more insincere than Brendan Rogers unlucky Jurgen that would never have hit you if it had been a bit more windy in here that’s it I’ve head it with you bald bastards ow ow ow ow oh I bet they won’t get a full game burn another dispute happily sorted out thanks to me in the RO King show well maybe not that happily see you next time you [ __ ] egots stop s on defense Antonio you p a much an Italian prick and just admit it it’s over er no I cannot uh for sure say it’s as over as aguero’s City G come on here K you made Arenal look like little boys Sher little [ __ ] boys leave my little boys alone Klo at least they didn’t lose to hall Hollow Way is harder than one BF at home though yeah burn there he is again venga de voer watching from afar I’ve had enough of this damn you Joseph what a surprise he’s collapsed again boom and you’d know all about that Mr no leins in 2017 come on Asen time to go never time to [Music] go what about you pettino you dull [ __ ] you never say anything interesting now’s your chance you float take one game at the time ah for F’s sake who’s ra keing supposed to get big ratings like Kyle Springer and wgan if none of you see anything worthwhile admit it KY just admit it for once now okay I admit it I’ve had three air transplants I knew it yes such lovely flowing Lux oh he’s fit do you have a number no not that ah fck it consider yourselves all knee tapped ow oh oh ow ow I bet you don’t get banned for that no Englishman would go down after being kneecap with a baguette bloody foreigners wish someone would build a wall here like that Legend Trump good night so who’s got a question for this arrogant peritan prick so they all have questions for me the best footballer the universe has ever seen yes liner how does it feel knowing I’m taking the Champions League trophy away from you and how does it feel knowing I won an International Tournament and the balandor oh I haven’t seen a born that bad since Carlos tris’s face that s of all there shut up you I have a question what is the funniest joke in the H of football messy’s International career nice try Ronald you Portuguese preing prun but no it is not messy the answer is of course Arsenal that is a sh joke Muller despite its obvious underlying truth I would be angry with that joke if we weren’t about to get [ __ ] by Bayern again again so who will win the Champions League this season Lester that’s more like it Thomas great joke even I have to laugh at Lester and I’ve never laughed before I will destroy everyone who laughed at Lester you can’t do that to my one need reinforcements [Music] watch that’s the kind of Desire that will win us the Champions League typical Messi defeated with a bottle job she’ll be mine again [ __ ] what the hell get back what the hell no noty face noty face or not the legs and not the ABS definitely not the ABS ABS mind you my abs are so strong they may well survive a botling go for the oh you racist useless underperforming P can we swap shirs it is covered in blood and fake 10 but okay my ego says yes oh stop flirting back there you fluts see you next week how can you defend that Champions League Resort it was a fing disgrace I thought we were okay at first you thought you’d paid your taxes your floats were lazy complacent and had no bite up front for F’s sake the other weak me arm now me leg look at my limbs mysteriously grow back you’re being unfair PSG were just better than us on the night shut up you Brazilian buffoon PSG are not without zattin my ibra is right it was not PSG it was ulot in fact you were even worse than [Music] Arsenal why are they so mean about us because despite being very very goodlooking we are also I’m afraid [ __ ] we can turn it around in the second leg I think we can too okay that’s just [ __ ] ridiculous I’m fed up with people talking absolute bollocks on this show the next person who does will get that Dublin smile just try it I don’t think we’ll get relegated B you I’ll talk some B you I have a good work R right there’s no need for this you’re a really nice person B nobody calls me a nice person and that was for your [ __ ] House Performance this week and your sh beard my darling L come to Manchester I will protect you from this nasty bearded TV terrorist Alex I’m done with the Laria teen out the Loy detector results are in make sure you edit that kiss out even though I quite liked it reminded me of Brian kff just hry up and give us a results will you me drink’s getting called all right you Chevy fck the question was did the Leicester City players tell the chairman to sack cloudy or Ani and the results sa this show should not be about these losers ah this program must must be about Zlatan and how Zlatan singlehandedly won the FA Cup for Zlatan Chester United it was the efl cup you [ __ ] flute who cares it will now be called the zlaten cup forever more why are you so arrogant you don’t wear fake tan you don’t have your own range of pants and you don’t advertise sixpack Body Revolution available now unbelievable Zen just happens to be the biggest and best player football will ever have you couldn’t do it at Barcelona though could you big nose big nose so funny consider that joke stolen hey harry you have big nose too because it grows every time I score a hat it why you all laughing when you can’t understand a word he says for fake sake I assume he said Lan is God despite it looking like Zlatan lost that fight Zlatan in fact was Victorious now back to those results I can reveal the leester players did tell the chairman to sack cloudo rer they all Ling [ __ ] snakes did someone say snake B join us next week for more on paralleled intellectual football debate good night you stamp on slaton’s head you get Slaton so you admit you elbowed him on purpose then you Swedish flute no like Zlatan said Mings jumped into zlatan’s elbow ridiculous that’s like saying this is not on purpose this smells delicious this is the second world class sub created this street first Asen drop Alexis now he assults this special needs byy with a Bradly weapon as think the bus as finally lusted slat on you [ __ ] Langer maybe you’d be so kind to show us exactly what is a foul in your eyes no problem line up for Zlatan football idiots what the [ __ ] are you doing watch this bearded Irish Santa oh oh oh why why would you do that oh noty F also stop crying you Portuguese [ __ ] what’s Lettin just did to messy also not a foul I will never play in England don’t tell me no foul definitely not these players need to stop going down so easily be as strong as Lettin in which case that’s not a foul either your [ __ ] longer no that is a foul holy [ __ ] he’s bitten your longer off it’s okay Zlatan has two langers and they’re both bigger than yours small Irish Abraham Lincoln oh kneecapping isn’t a foul either consider yourself Alfie Inga hended good night we asked the viewers if that was the greatest comeback of all time or if you TR just a bunch of diving cheating feckers and the results are in for F’s sake Patrick if I didn’t secretly respect you so much I’d have snapped you where you stand we’re the greatest front three in history we won this game all by ourselves I’m confident the results will show that after all everybody loves me I don’t and I would never cheat hey SZ ah ring any bells enough know for the chips or you ask to hear what you think well except for when I asked if you think these three are cheaa and the results are for f sake unbelievable all right as much as I think it’s for flutes feckers and the Pogba Brothers Let’s head to social media instead here’s one from rare g sobero 65 what an incredible comeback all all thanks to Sergi Roberto what an exciting player what about this one from LGI lberto 995 msnr Roberto is an exciting and interesting player definitely not baring ah this is [ __ ] hopeless I don’t care what they say we scored six goals we’re incredible the best ever and that’s that we are the best three players in the whole world don’t worry I’m here Patrick I have filed your manery I hate to have to do this Patrick clinal as you’re saying best four players in the world is everyone pleased to see me no For the Love of Kirk not again fancy coming out of retirement for your old par arsal even with a concussion I would still never come back to that train of Team you can always rely on Arsenal players to be on the receiving end of high fives that’s it I’ve had enough next year I’m going to manage PSG oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] right then you French fcker time to bills the beans are you leaving or not you feeling flute I feel I still have the support of my players you are better at comedy than you are at management have anger I only know two things one is that I am a ridiculously good-looking version of ran Clark the other is that you do not have our support oh well at least I still have the support of a lot of our fans let’s see if you’re right bring out the fans blood fam fam blood blood blood blood fam fam fam blood blood blood blood blood blood fam fam ham roll um what about you old man this [ __ ] shocking spawn this it’s time to go time to go see he says it’s time to go and sign a new contract you’re more [ __ ] deluded than Jose Mourinho and I’m SI to death of that Portuguese prick oh dear you all forget what I’ve done for this club I haven’t G how dare you not float with me what I mean is we’ll have none of that on this show can you tell us she decision I need to know so I can announce I’m leaving regardless me too vanger’s big decision [Music] is Right which of you fers was controlling that for sake I guess we’ll never find out if he’s giving up or not I’m giving up good night that was [ __ ] disgusting what were you think in your Welsh flute exactly I based on my tackling on my hero must be talking about me no a worse tackler even than you must be me then no even worse than you schy what the Jesus are you talking about there is no worse tackler than Paul SK there is one and he’s my hero all right then let’s bring out this fcker who inspired Taylor to ruin Coleman’s career and give whals no chance of qualifying we’ll be fine I’m a one-man team what are you talking about you are [ __ ] don’t mind if I borrow that do you boo now I don’t mind a bit of violence but spraying a fellow professional with fake tan is a step too far I take offense at your comment and at your abuse of my Portuguese BFF Jose last week fake tan and iny beard too embarrassing must get off screen now this is called the christio Ronaldo show sounds terrible [ __ ] so let’s get back to the matter in hand and introduce Neil Taylor’s hero the horrific man who influenced him to tackle so badly come on [Applause] out it was me well done Taylor you really Alfie Inga hended him uh no it wasn’t yoy it’s was gra sunus shut the f up I have a reputation to app hold and get off me set you peritan prune good night how did you lose to big fat s your Advanced Hair Studio flute the F bastardo gave me a pint of wine before the game My sponsors suggest you drink a 12pack of vkd instead shut up you go liner goon oh if you’d hit the target like that earlier this season then Raneri would still have a job on Wednesday we will beat chy and blow the title r quite open you have no chance of beating my Chelsea team City have a weaker defense than Neil Taylor does in his FIFA hearing yeah don’t manage Chelsea anymore you sacked sackit and what about you PCH any chance of you seeing anything remotely interesting no absolutely not uh one game at a time I’m very happy he communicates so well just like me we have a question from the audience do any of you think my Arsenal will get top four I think they answered for you specialist in Failure excuse me here Jose but you cannot beat West Bram at home yet he is the failure say that to Jose’s face he literally just did say it to your face German hair transplant idiot there is nothing wrong with the air transplant everyone knows it’s not Jose’s fault when United don’t win who is responsible for all these draws then if not you you morning M first of all of course Luke Shaw then referees also linesman the crowd at all Trafford Ed woodwood uh Alex Ferguson looking down from his purch the strikers not Zlatan or Pogba OBS Theresa May Dr Eva my wife my children all women and of course Luke shw if your team talks her his as baring as that it’s easy to see why you won’t make the Champions League man you’ve just made this the most baring Ren ever now [Applause] Bea sweet mother of C I’ve never seen so much crying in a United shirt and I’ve played with that flute Christy Hano at least this flute has four bant ORS what did you say you little bronze fcker uh nothing that’s what I thought interrupt me again and I’ll make your face look like that statue at your airport now back to this whimper and Langer over there I just want to play football but Jose is always saying things about me behind my back I’ve done nothing of the sort I just make the decisions for you to make life easier I am the mind you are the body isn’t that the right look yeah boss I mean no just when I thepoon could get any worse he made fainy Captain oh he’s out of control he’s gone mad with power I thought it was a quite decision has he been beating you like an Irish mule no it’s all just verbal bullying it’s not bullying it’s all in his head he’s just a boy who can’t handle a man’s job just because you’re a boy it doesn’t mean you won’t get slapped but Josie you know that bullying is wrong what are you going to do about it Ginger Nutter oh I won’t do anything I’m just a humble soon to be Championship manager and I don’t mean the game but I know someone who will do something her all this God awful sure deser with my faithful s elbow boy look it’s a couple of super zeroes a Patrick get these flailing Beckers out of [Music] here no Patrick we still had so many fights in the tunnel left in us no one can elbow like elbow boy I disagree what’s happening I can’t control my limbs ah so it’s not affecting you at all my limbs are as under responsive as my Defenders they useless [Music] bastards just like minks they jumped into my elbow my hero my hero too shut up look ah the most satisfying one yet good night how can you defend that sh performance Hazard your PFA nominated prune I was menm marked by Spaniard you were sh being menm marked is is the greatest compliment that can be paid to a player you didn’t even get a shot on target against the team without slatan you embarrass yourself was it because K wore that embarrassing fcking cap it uh was important the air they transplanted from my bumo did not get wet special one was Victorious against the hair transplant full what a surprise oh I deplore arrogance despite not known what the word deplore means a wi the Le can anybody understand what he just said never we’re coming for you we’re coming for you PS we’re coming for you shut up Harry you’ll bottle it just like last year agree with the chav who are you calling a chav I didn’t know Daniela Westbrook was still alive what do you think patino you baring bastard can you win it one game at the time we are very happy we see what happens why are you all so boring what happened to the Personalities in football I’m your best get off me you French fancy I can’t handle this anymore unless one of you Barn fers does something interesting soon I’m canceling this all would you like me to show you my abs anyone else I have written a book I could read for you baren come on anyone we don’t have F that’s more like it classic coil classic Keen off you go what has this show become a secondary ww away that’s what good night what’s it like KN you never going to play again you big noosed Swedish meatball what zon dares you to be rude to zeton again old man you me mortals can argue all you want frankly you shouldn’t be sharing the same stage as my genius mere model I am fully resistant to the FSE oh I wish we were resistant to Messi so you finally admit that Messi is better than you your peritan pecker are you admitting that I’m the goat Ronnie are you the goat what the [ __ ] are you talking about your Argentinian steakhous dick the goat it means greatest of all time old man for [ __ ] sake [ __ ] children with stupid words no we really must stop meeting like this h I admitted you scored an important goal message but I won bendor this year so I must currently at least be the goat even I know that doesn’t make sense and I’m thick as [ __ ] I’m just hearing from you producer that the results of the Twitter poll are in and that the player voted the greatest of all time aka the goat can now join us on stage sick why do I work with such amateurs how many times I’m not at Fleetwood anymore I would never admit that Messi is better than me even if he is which which he may be but but I would never admit that not out loud anyway and certainly not on national TV exactly a stop bleating on good night and if one of you animal loving langers out there dares called dearis PCA you’ll be getting a little little visit from a man with a bat and not the mamal veroy now F off surely it’s now time to go you anorexic French COC Madam don’t test me Irish terrorist I’ve already stormed out of one interview this week let’s see if this helps your GX hen bring out the [Applause] Argentinian well done on the two nail pot you Baron F what have you got to say to the specialist in Failure you were a manial inspiration to me 15 years ago when you used to be good I’m not taking any more of this nobody STS off my Shore except me now sit the F back down in your [ __ ] seat I am sorry boss it really is a terrible Irish buly oh I’m the only one you call boss Fiera now let’s take some audience questions yes you Roy and Clark what’s your question BS why did you play me against Spurs when you know I am absolutely mad at football despite being very handsome I can’t take this anymore do that one more time and you’ll end up with a concussion so bad you might pick ramsy for the first team again please God no I have a question for aren Banger and this sorry Shack of sh players Patrick get that salivan Striker off me set now and no more questions and C to the advs I’m sorry top four trophy but I’m Just Not That Into You what are you talking about you wiin and dick wad it is only the Europa League trophy I want it is bigger more felic and has a better climax I still want your top four trophy do I have a chance why are you laughing football idiots we would have to play on dry pitches every single week to miss out on the top four Trophy and finish behind that Arsenal sh why the fck you’re fighting over an inanimate object the top four trophy is everything she has been mine for 20 years now in fact top four trophy will you marry me no it [ __ ] warned your long streak of pissy baguette oh my face are there not look at my lip it hit you under the shoulder you crying chilly and Chomp ah my shoulder he hit me on my shoulder with he B if I it what just happened makes no sense whatsoever but then again I’m fake as [ __ ] for fake sake once again the sh’s descended into f look just tell me which one he is going to go home with this top four trophy not me I told you you’re not big enough for me not big enough for his ego now that’s more like it well done with the bespectacled blitz C let me take it home again I will put you in your special place right next to my cafet PCH oh nobody talks about piss on my show except me my producers say we have a new sutor bring him out I will take this trophy home after all I’m the best manager in the world [ __ ] this you’re all sh I’ll never have y me sure again until next week anyway good night I have no idea why we have to lift the Premier League trophy on my fcking Shore H because we are the best and your team Manchester United were the [Applause] worst you’re bald like me again now con you match fixing [ __ ] we’ll have none of that language on my mother [ __ ] Shore I only didn’t win the Premier League because I decided I prefer Europa League you’re a lan F Marine your although I like your aggression with me but don’t talk to my dad like that ke what you talking about Terah your dad’s a drug dealer I know because I just bought shut the fck up very I don’t want off come on me back again can I lift the trophy now you I’m the captain no it’s my TR I got the gold it will look good in my house in China no it’s my trophy I had 19 a transplant for this exact moment for fake sake is there anyone else who thinks they should lift the trophy I think Spurs played the best football all season they should lift it if injuries didn’t count and Mane had been fit it would have been Liverpool’s I should lift the trophy I’ve been trying the longest I should lift the trophy that’s it the moment vanger thinks he deserves the Premier League trophy I know it’s gone beyond the pill give it here oh I haven’t been this close to the trophy since I pissed in it last year what the fck are you talking about you Chevy bastard someone give it to me last May I assumed it were a drugs test so I pissed in it drugs you say let me introduce you to my dad somebody cut the power this show is not for transmission good night Arsenal fans want you out Sports and Chelsea fans chant that they want you to stay stay please St so what are you going to do you stubborn onion wear and Undead look alike I’ve decided to do the best thing for aror you leaving no I’m going to stay at Arsenal for two more years I’m not even this I’m leaving right now oh that’s a penalty definitely a penalty I get no protection in this country shut the [ __ ] up Sanchez your diving dipstick I must also leave I’m sorry boss but I can’t stay if you do it’s okay we can do without them I will build a team around Rob holding will I get more game time next season Zen GA because if not I am going to retire and become a male model [Music] oh oh I’m not having that on my Shore yeah a feminite Pano sha I just don’t understand all the negativity I’m excited to play in the Europa League I’ve never won it before I will not have the Europa League mentioned on my sh but the last two episodes have been about me choosing to win the Europa Noy have not we will never ever mention that sh Europa League ever bus you just mentioned it again that’s twice so far on this episode nobody accuses me a liion you’re fired Viera Roy Keane were he had to section you you’re more mentally unstable than Donald Trump correct Patrick help me Patrick you’re supposed to be me security you just Saed me B oh hidden to face with me on but I’ll never live this down cut the feed you’ve never held up this big AED bastard before Bon what makes you think you can this time you geriatric goalkeeping [ __ ] you can’t call me a bige bastard on National Television not you liner I’ll do your lug holes are gin Nas and I do doubt the legitimacy of your parents marriage I was talking about the trophy oh and that’s for the crisp advert with the serial killers it is my time I will not let them score and this beautiful trophy will be mine to make love to that trophy is going nowhere I have been making love to it for a year now why the fck are you all so desperate to stick your peckers in an anonymous object because it is so shiny I can see myself in the reflection as I thrust because I am Italian we invented making a love this is [ __ ] ridiculous at least benzar likes his with a pulse I predict we’ll win the one n and that Ronaldo will cry like a little [ __ ] as a lift the Champions League trophy I predict you’ll kill over and die because the stadium noise will be too much for your hearing aid to take that was a good one Ronnie very funny oh see the [ __ ] Jesus wept I can’t handle this sh anymore I’m retiring you said that’s the other week bus and I sat you last week Patrick a lot can change in a weekfall can’t it and you can fck off too vanger being smoke suits you even less than those puffer jackets teen out I’m telling you I’m not a diver what quadr did to me was practically gbh I put it to you you Spanish springboard that you’re actually the biggest cheat in the history of the Champions League oh stop why would you do that I’m bleeding look I’m [Music] bleeding where going I get one of those capsules they really something extra to my game there’ll be no cheating at my Club Alexis my face my face definitely my face again and not my shoulder I’m leaving Aral for that I would also like one of these blood capsules they will add something to my SNM games with the other male models a still at 50,000 each and what they don’t realize this they’re not even blood they obviously do realize that you great German Langer that’s the whole point oh you just don’t understand comedy if you did you wouldn’t be so angry about Manchester United six place this year that doesn’t even make sense but whatever it meant you still getting an Irish kiss from my butt it hit me too did you see that ref oh he deserves a second yellow get K of the pitch it’s not even a pitch you complet idiot if it was a pitch I’d have scored a couple by now and there’s certainly no more scoring off the pitch for you Ro you can’t let her say that to CR7 I score when I want hey that’s my chance it’s SC when wants he SC when wants Harry he go when he [Music] wants for F’s sake another show ruined I bet Jeremy Kyle doesn’t have to put up with this shot I’m serious Roy she can’t say that bat her to the ground that hit me again why Always me listen here Cristiano Roy Keen has done a lot of things in his life but he will never Alie in a Hell and a woman I’ll bring the kid up myself it’ll want for nothing see you next week as a new dad what the [ __ ] has happened to you k you fake haired f it has for sure been a difficult summer difficult you got a Parise a holiday and a new set of hair plugs what you whining about you don’t even know what difficult means I’m only on 65 Grand a week I nearly drove my car off the road when I was offered that kind of money fck off you cheating Playboy Cole you should never have broken the heart of the most beautiful member of girls allow I always fancied the ginger one will somebody give him a [ __ ] slap you blind bastard you think you guys have it B Liverpool won’t even let me sign for Bas hey Phil that’s unfair I will let you sign for them for sure just not right now or anytime in the next 5 years or actually ever I get it Contino that’s bad but can’t lost at home to Burnley that’s unforgivable what is unforgivable is my board selling my dit to man united without my permission Antonio keep your hair on I’m suffocating help me help me this is my worst nightmare suffocated by two Advocates of the B gravia hair clinic somebody somebody helps me and that’s for not believing in me you Puerto Rican prick there you go boss I mean Nino you call other maner BS you get hit around the face with argentin your state that’s what I’m f talking about a manager who knows how to treat his players you could learn a thing or two from him can’t you Italian [ __ ] you’ll regret that and that’s for beating us last year and there’ll be more where this came from at Wembley next Sunday m m join us next week for all the Fallout from the sports Chelsea game and I’m not talking about K’s hair what the [ __ ] are you talking about Mourinho you [ __ ] longer I told you now let the horses run free oh I didn’t think you could get any more arrogant but now you claim to be a racehorse trainer as well no not a trainer a horse whisperer you see my players they are like stallions what the is this a glutting idiot talking about now oh here we go I gave that man my old job and he belittles my abilities as an animal Whisperer so now you claiming you gave the fake haired Langer your job sorry boss but that’s just not true we got you sacked after you were mean to Dr AA who I was definitely not attracted to as she was not the wife or girlfriend of my teammate I don’t even know why we are talking about anything other than my tactical master class at Wembley parking the bush is not a tactical Master Class Mr just like Gad Kane over and over again on Sunday the post counts as an opus shot on Target I disagree with what patino says parking the bus is an art form I did not park the bus you did park the bus you Dar me old dick it was [ __ ] boring a sin who cares they won sometimes parking the bus is the only way I will B anyone who likes to park the bus it’s a fcking disgrace go on who else wants a hit good somebody call for me F this this show is over the moment the fat manager say it’s time to pull the plug teen out next week the first episode of The Big Sam show where I’ll be seeing which of these footballers can drink a pint of wine the quickest I changed my mind see you next week so anger you skinny [ __ ] flute you told me researchers you wanted to come on the shore to make a big announcement let me guess you finally worked out how to zip up a puffet jacket are you announcing that you’re letting me out of my torturous contract worth an insulting £50,000 a week it’s true I have a big announcement one I’ve been mulling over for a long time now when you say a long time do you mean ever since we embarrassed you for nil at the vend oh boss that was a real burn from clap there will you all let the ly Streaker piss speak I have come here to this very respectable talk show to reveal I will not have my show card respectable take it back oh I apologize now get on with it you French fancy I can reveal that I am resigning as manager of Arsenal Football Club thank you for your kind Applause that shows how good you thought I was at my job we were applauding because you have for the first time shown that you are not completely stupid now a card to me [ __ ] producer who is rudely talking in my ear that’s not your only announcement is it correct I have also chosen my successor as Arsenal manager well it worked when man united let Sir Alex do it why shouldn’t he ah fck off Mo you’re addicted to being sh and worse still you’re Ginger nothing wrong with being Ginger King I’m taking over the show now vanger you mothering ID tell us who you’ve chosen as your ill voice successor let me go and get [Music] him zingler what the are you doing here I am not ason venger I am the new Arsenal manager Barson benger I take it back you’re more stupid than ever this get off me S you two can play that game m Gregor’s second beat down in a couple of days see y’all next week man they kicked him in the head it is a sting off hand of story of course you would say that but he did not kick him more as we say in the motherland a gentle brush of the studs s order you Spanish spoon what the fck are you talking about red card for that he didn’t even alinga hen him okay Keen just say very funny things shame you were so terrible at managing yourself otherwise maybe you’d understand say that again baly I [ __ ] dare you ah okay okay everyone calm down I know I’ve been away with the her but this is getting ridiculous [ __ ] what the [ __ ] are you doing here you’ve never been on this show before this is a show where you deal with problems no well I have a h this is without doubt the strangest TV program I’ve ever seen and they once had a David Hasselhoff show in Germany Roy from what I’ve seen I thought I could say something incent to you then you could hit me in the stomach with your butt and my Herer would explode with pleasure you obes [ __ ] waiter thank you Senor King I didn’t even have to say anything mean to provoke you ah much obliged if only you handled a club that will as a man her get to fck it’s a bat not a club you Sterling loving stinkhole anyone else want a baton Roy I just wondered would you bat Mark H for me he told me to off during our game and I’m very upset absolutely not your [ __ ] grass that’s it pull the plug this sure has been worse than that last time I said to pull the plug on it just do it will you [Applause] so you finally found someone to take your cter guess Atletico fill for that fake passport of yours again you know the one that says you’re not 55 years old I tell you Simon this man is the biggest fraud going it’s okay Diego gante is just jealous that we both have our own hair and they clean corruption record all right you Mediterranean morons this is getting so Boren I’m going to have to ask for questions from the audience yeah Diego just wondering if you’re leaving your wife behind at all take Terry out Patrick he’s not even a top level player anymore can’t have him piping up like that um actually John my wife thinks she’s single again now you can have her if you just recommend me a good eye doctor ow this is getting Beyond ridiculous has anyone got any serious questions for these egots yeah Jay who’s your agent he’s looking for a new one and your agent getting nearly 70 million for you was nothing sort of miraculous I’m fed up with this abuse Diego C is a Top Golf GL and is also really fat over sensitive when it comes to receiving text messages and don’t forget that he looks like a gorilla from the fil Gorillas in the Mist with the not again okay so not every joke is gold star standard after last week’s debattle I didn’t think things could get any worse but this show was absolute sh I’m not sure I can take this [Music] anymore welcome to the tumb [ __ ] M comedy show wait no no wait please God damn I really must work on better JS for next time knock knock who’s there good [Music] night