92%ers we are back with another special guest episode of New Heights sponsored by Buffalo Wild Wings. Let’s Go Sports Bar!
In this episode, we welcome comedian, actor, fellow podcaster, and Bad Friend Andrew Santino.
The guys get into Andrew’s snowy first impression of Jason, the origin of his “Cheeto” nickname, how Bobby Lee ruined the Bad Friends tour bus, Andrew’s wild Vegas golf outing with Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon, and the exotic cuisine he tried down under with John Cena.
We also get to Travis’ “Fall Out Boy” incident when he guested on Santino’s podcast. We discuss which comedians could make it in the NFL, the time Andrew punk’d Taylor Swift and Drake, and because this is a football show, we do discuss the upcoming NFL draft.
There are also great stories about Pat Mahomes and his love of Coors Lights, Rob McElhenney donating a golf club to the LA River, some confusion over George Washington’s hair color, and of course, everyone’s favorite conspiracy theories.
We will be back with more New Heights every Wednesday during the offseason so make sure you’re subscribed to our YouTube Channel and wherever you get your podcasts so you don’t miss a single episode and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok for all the best moments from the show.
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TOMMY JOHN: If any of you 92%ers want to try Tommy John, go to https://www.tommyjohn.com/newheights and use code newheights for 20% off your first order.
LA-Z-BOY: To score your very own custom recliner – enter the New Heights La-Z-Boy Giveaway — simply by following La-Z-Boy on Instagram and “liking” and commenting on one of their posts about the giveaway. And while you’re at it, check out https://www.la-z-boy.com/. Or stop into your local La-Z-Boy retailer to test one of these bad boys out.
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ACCELERATOR: Every flavor of the Kelces’ favorite drink, Accelerator Active Energy, is available at Hyvee, Quiktrip, Giant Eagle, Amazon, and now Wawa.
https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=NewHeights5SAVENOW
Chapters:
00:00 – Intro
02:20 – Jason’s First Impression
5:10 – The Origin of Cheeto
12:42 – Building a Standup Set
26:40 – Tour Bus Rules
29:55 – Golfing with Timberlake and Fallon
33:05 – Exotic Foods with John Cena
39:20 – Travis’ “Fall Out Boys”
42:40 – Is Travis a ginger?
47:20 – Working with Jim Carrey
51:40 – Comedians in the NFL
53:40 – Santino Punking Taylor and Drake
01:01:40 – “Welcome to Comedy” Moment
01:06:15 – Best Comedy Cities
01:12:20 – Weird Fan Interactions
01:14:48 – NFL Draft
01:17:50 – Santino’s Concussion Story
01:20:30 – Dad’s at the World Series
01:28:15 – The Pat Mahomes Silver Bullet Experience
01:30:00 – Rob McElhenney’s Lost Golf Club
01:34:50 – Santino’s Nicknames
01:39:50 – Airpod Rants
01:41:48 – Ginger Mt. Rushmore
01:44:50 – Conspiracy Theories
#nfl #traviskelce #jasonkelce #andrewsantino #chiefs #bears #eagles
you set up your Wi-Fi in your garage
that’s where the attachment point is but
you could have said put it somewhere
else I just haven’t changed it yet
that’s such an ed Kelsey move I’ll get
around to it it’s like that second floor
bathroom that’s still not done we had to
watch Dad take with his newspaper
because he took the door off the hinges
like somebody bought a second floor
bathroom in Cleveland Heights that a
12-year-old soldered the pipes 90% sure
I didn’t know how to sold
anything this is so good like why the is
the pipes jacked up up here on the
second floor every week something’s
wrong with that bathroom what could be
the
problem it’s like a 12-year-old soldered
this thing
together welcome back to new heights
ladies and gentlemen presented by W
sports and entertainment and brought to
you by Buffalo Wild Wings let’s go
sports
bar a true true American Sports Fan
would know how to react to that just by
hearing the intro we are your hosts I’m
Travis Kel is my big brother Jason Kelce
out of Cleveland Heights Ohio new
episodes come to you guys every
Wednesday uh subscribe on YouTube and
wherever you get your podcast follow the
show on all social media @ New Height
show with 1s and check out our official
fan club atne height show.com we’ve got
a very very special episode for you guys
today um Jason why don’t you do the
honors and let the people know what they
got coming up that’s right we got got an
amazing episode for you 92 centers we
got the one and only wo standup comedian
actor and podcaster out of naville North
High School yeah naville you might know
from his standup hit specials HomeField
advantage and cheeseburger or his acting
roles on Dave I’m Dyan up here and Ricky
sikki he is also the host of hip podcast
whiskey Ginger and bad friends with
Bobby Lee and he finally stopped by
dodging our calls and agreed to stop by
on our podcast this week please everyone
welcome Andrew Cheo
[Music]
Sano hell yeah my [ __ ] dog way
the BDubs intro great man dude you were
right on C you were right on C didn’t
even miss we should go right after this
can I say the first time I met Jay by
the way can I say this real fast yeah
that was burned into my memory when you
were like yeah my brother’s going to be
there you’re going to meet my brother
and it was at your house and we’re part
we were hanging out in the basement we
were kicking it having a great night and
I wanted to go upstairs to go make a
phone call so I wasn’t near the noise
and I see you Jason was outside it was
snowing and remember and he was laying
outside on one of your like one of your
uh deck chairs sleeping in the snow as
it was snowing in a t-shirt and shorts
sleeping in the snow and I and I was
like Hey brother you you good and he
didn’t he was like no like that I go
downstairs I go Trev your brother is
sleeping in the snow and he goes oh yeah
oh yeah that’s where that’s where he
belongs like no big deal he’s like yeah
leave him alone leave the bear alone
that’s what you said leave the bear
alone man don’t wake the bear whatever
you do don’t wake the Bear right now the
you were passed out in the snow but I
you were just catching you were just
catching a break from the party you just
wanted to break off cool off a little
overhea you were he was overheating it
was snowing it was snow pouring snow he
was heating up too much I had to go back
in the Bear’s elements get in here and
mini hibernation that was a great intro
to you though I was like I know exactly
who he is now I get it he leaves the
party to sit in the snow I get you had
to regroup man that’s how that’s how us
Kelsey’s regroup just take a step
outside and just fall asleep I do love
that oh goodness dude I’m sorry we had
to call you out with uh Dave Dave on the
other week I don’t know if you caught
that we had some fun with it but I mean
it worked yeah I got tagged uh I got
tagged through Dave you had my old boy
on the show he did a good job I listen I
listened and also him being a Philly guy
he was I know he was amped to come see
you guys and Kiss the Ring a little bit
so he was pumped it was so cool having
him on here one of the best
conversations we’ve had we got I have a
bunch I have a bunch about him some I
can’t even share but off camera that’s
the best yeah those are the best well
before we get going um we talked about
this on last week’s show Jason wants to
know about the meaning of uh your
nickname Cheeto so it originated uh
people call me Cheeto Santino Cheeto I
hear more often than anything now I’m
bad with timelines but I think like 15
or 16 years ago I I moved to LA in ‘ 06
at the end of 06 and then I was playing
basketball I would play like these
pickup games uh we go to like these
elementary schools which always is great
on the weekends or go to like these um
local spots in Culver City that were
pretty nasty at the time it was great
great pickup Ball but I played with a
bunch of guys a couple of guys from the
East side some Mexican dudes from East
LA boy Heights Shout Out Boy Heights
Shout Out Boy Boy Heights one day this
kid pavei was looking down at my legs
when we were done and I had short shorts
on like way above the knee old school
you know what I mean oh yeah Old School
gym teacher style yeah in my bird era
yeah in my bird era you got to be able
to move I want to Pivot quick you know
and he looked down and he’s like damn
dog I never really like seen your legs
up close and I was like what do you mean
he’s like it’s like it looks like you
ate a bag of Cheetos and then you rub
Cheeto dust like all over your legs from
your fingers like they look like Cheetos
dog like for real and everybody was
losing it and then like At first I was
annoyed and embarrassed and then I when
I looked down I was like they yeah that
is they do look like Cheetos they do
look like Cheetos so Cheeto had born
from that and then it just I embraced it
and then it stuck then it just kind of
traveled with me and I liked it then I
turned my social into all that and then
but it never left it was funny at first
I was annoyed and then I thought nah you
got to walk if you don’t walk into this
it’s worse oh this I’m you already know
I’m on board with that if you don’t walk
in into it they’re going to cook you
even harder it’s going to get you way
worse yeah absolutely that’s that’s
playground mentality 101 yeah embrace it
this playground mentality 101 and I just
love that both both you and Travis got
your nicknames from playing pickup ball
yeah pick up ball mine was uh that’s how
Travis got the big yeti he ran from it
for a little bit he’s embraced it now
you can’t run away from that dude no way
it dude it’s just a [ __ ] sweater
breast it’s just Jersey that’s right
just a jersey and I I got to own it have
uh C we said skins exactly sorry I’ll
make sure I sh speaking of sweater
trav’s the only guy that I know that’ll
play golf when it’s like 94 in a
multi-layered shirt with a vest dude
it’s insane you are the only dude I know
that can do that and he wasn’t sweating
at all I was Dred underneath I was
sticky yeah it was a little sticky it
was real hot it was real I don’t know
how you do that you just had to be like
multiple days of like drinking Bender so
you’re just so dehydrated there’s no
sweat to come out of the pores yeah
nothing can come out that is true and
that was definitely yep definitely where
we were at
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even feel them on right now Jason it’s
obvious I love this underwear but you
said you you were going to give them a
go last week and I got to ask have you
tried it yet have you tried Tommy John
yet I tried them out you give us a nice
review I tried them out at the Chris
long golf a what I really like about
them is that it’s standard spandex on
the legs good for no chafing the rear
end I don’t know if you can see this but
it’s mesh so very breathable in the rear
end and frontal area it’s tight on on
the package which if it’s tight on me
it’s going to be tight on nearly
everybody um and I I brought this so I
have a buffalo testicle SC sack that
somebody sent me um so I thought I’d
show you just how tight it is yeah
there’s just not any bulge it’s just you
need it to be able to rest into it you
know what I mean yeah well I’m just
saying outside of that it was fantastic
did you chafe no zero chafing just a
little snug just a little snug on that
region but outside of that good and also
they packed in some sleep shorts love
the Sleep shorts very good all right
sounds like you’re uh starting to
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order Jason are you loving your new lazy
boy yeah nice so right it’s really the
Cadillac of chairs isn’t it it sure is
uh but I’ve been wondering something
this whole time if the chair was meant
for my retirement how did you get one I
don’t know our friends over at Lazy Boy
offered me one so I said you know what
how can I turn that down that was the
one that came up with the idea you know
who else they’re giving them away to two
lucky people who enter the new heights
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said before you don’t need to be an
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is follow Lazy Boy on Instagram like a
comment on a lazy boy post uh promoting
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that’s right enter the new heights Lazy
Boy giveaway now through May 1st and
while you’re at it check out lazyboy.com
or stop to a local Lazy Boy retailer to
test one of these bad boys out and all
their other great furniture too um we’ve
always been lazy boy fans and now you
will be as well welcome aboard love long
live the
lazy let’s get to Vegas though man you
just wrapped up bad friends in Vegas
yeah we did our last awesome Me and
Bobby Lee we’re touring our podcast bad
friends live show my boy Legend we’re
done I think we did 50 the the number is
off but we’ve been touring for just over
a year just a calendar year past a
couple weeks ago in Vegas was our last
show 50 some odd shows it was been an
incredible run man it was it was just it
was insane we had a proposal we had a
proposal on stage hell yeah yeah guy
prop I mean that was actually our fourth
proposal of the tour but this a guy
proposed to you he proposed to his wife
but oh right I would have taken it well
his his soon to be wife I was thinking
that Bobby was going to propose you
that’s what Bobby would propose to me
but I don’t know if I could be married
to him I don’t I just don’t know I could
hook up he’d be a fun hookup you know in
in uh [ __ ] Mary kill he would he would
be just [ __ ] not marry sometimes kill
yeah yeah no but uh we finished a long
tour proba [ __ ] then kill yeah [ __ ] then
kill but you know if it’s Bobby on the
show he’d be like kill then [ __ ] yeah
that’s what he would say he’s
lunatic yeah the tour was incredible man
it was so fun it was like there you know
not to be corny but seeing the fans
connecting with the fans on that level
it brings you a new level of
appreciation I know you guys feel it in
sports it’s just so wild these Live
Events there’s something that happens
when you get to see their faces and feel
their energy it’s I I don’t it’s
unbelievable and and for people to tell
you things like dude you make my work
commute in so much easier or dude I’m
going through a divorce or dude I’m I’m
going through a breakup or you know
something tragic happened I lost my mom
I lost and when they tell you that
you’re the thing that gives them a
little bit of Peace during the week and
happiness and it does it really truly
does do something to you I I don’t know
what it is but you’re like man it’s it’s
totally worth it to change people’s
shitty day it’s I mean it’s awesome it’s
great it’s I love to hear that man I’m
glad you’re in it for the right reasons
too CU that’s how you know you do this
[ __ ] for the right reasons man yeah I
want I want to make my only goal when I
was a kid was like I wanted to be a
professional comedic personality I
wanted to be an actor and a standup and
I didn’t know if either of them would
even work and all I wanted to do was
make people laugh I wanted to make
people laugh and feel good cuz the world
is dark and weird and I was like how can
I break this up and get make a living
having fun and making people kind of
forget about all the you know nonsense
of the world and we did it look at us
look at us we did it baby how about it
boys we’re here we’re doing it we’re
doing it what what did did you have
anybody looking up to or that you were
young that you looked up to like what
were the comedic people that you thought
like man that guy’s I mean when I was a
kid that where I want to be it’s a it’s
a you know my first answer is so like I
mean Eddie Murphy was like I don’t I
mean you know it was everyone will say
that most likely in my generation you
know I’m 40 yeah the ’90s 9s Eddie
Murphy yeah it was just he was
unbelievable he was everything to me and
yeah Jim Carrey I would say was like
from the acting side was my guy you know
like that I wanted to emulate or be like
um even though he was a standup but I as
a kid I only knew him as an actor I was
too young to know him as a standup but
Eddie was that guy to me that was like
so wild and free and I yeah I wanted to
I wanted to have that energy I knew I
could never be that but I was like
whatever that is I love that yeah cuz
he’s having he was he always looked like
he was having fun yeah which that turned
me on the most the stand-ups that look
like they were also having fun was like
kind of what I wanted it like they were
in with you on it you know hell yeah and
you know that’s kind of what turn on the
most but yeah him and Jim Carrey I think
were the two dudes that I was like God I
want to be that so bad I want to be that
kind of have that energy with people and
have that influence in brother you
definitely thank you I’m trying um I
remember the first time I saw you live
and it was in Kansas City at the ample
theater that’s right um and uh it was uh
it was when you on tour with Rogan right
with Rogan yeah oh that’s me calling you
probably hello Travis CH are you kidding
me is it we should pick it up real pick
it up pick it up pick it up hey
Chandler I’m I’m sitting here on the uh
podcast with uh Cheeto Santino right now
oh you’re with that little stick of big
red
gum what spicy so spicy see you already
know we uh we were we were just about to
get into how you won the tournament this
weekend yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah let’s
talk about
it too many strokes I got whatever else
you did you did get too many strokes you
got like nine no I got five I got five
five aside you want you win in what
what’ you go in with I played as a
[ __ ] 12 it’s not my fault zantino
thinks he’s a scratch gives me five
aside all right you you should see this
guy swing it’s unbelievable oh it it
it’s as if it’s as if there’s like a
hinge point at all parts of his body and
it’s like snapping into place as he goes
back it’s like doing the robot as he
swinging the club not only did I get the
champion I got most player too so e
dick all right love you Budd I’m gon hit
you as soon as I get out of here yeah
one of the greatest Chan P um [ __ ] yeah
damn I forgot what we were talking about
oh see me and when I was uh opening for
Rogan and Casey oh dude yeah but I can
attest for you being able to give that
energy and that feeling um I I I had
momes join me this was like a training
camp like getaway it was like a one day
just happened to be on the off day
training camp out in KC and me and momes
were like let’s [ __ ] go and do it we
got front row seats to see you just
absolutely rip it dude it so f it was so
[ __ ] fun you did the one waffle joke
oh my God I still [ __ ] love well wild
is because Rogan you know like Joe I was
at the time I was touring that’s five
years ago or how many years ago it’s got
to be at least least maybe six or seven
yeah and I was touring with Rogan and
Joe loves MMA you know he loves
everything in the martial art world but
you know traditional Sports not he he’s
cool with but it’s not like his thing so
I was amped I was like dude the Kansas
City Chiefs are like coming to see us
like we’re gonna I’m I linked up with
these guys they’re coming to see us and
he was like uh oh cool which team are
they I was like the football team and he
was like all right word cool I mean like
didn’t it just doesn’t mean anything to
him I was amped cuz like they’re coming
to see us dude the boy we’re in their
time we’re in their City this is perfect
timing and then after that I was in
Dallas and Pat came out um with the crew
with the crew with the crew to come see
me in Dallas and then after that you
know start you know tour has been going
on and oh man life has changed for the
better it’s been amazing man dude I
remember that show forever man you
absolutely killed it it was so fun that
EMP is beautiful and everybody [ __ ]
fired up and shout out to Philly we love
Philly I said that before the show but
every time I play Philly we get so much
love we were in the met last year
beautiful beautiful theater man it’s
unbelievable yeah sometimes I’m shocked
that they let us into those theaters I’m
like we’re telling dick jokes inside of
like an ornately designed beautiful
theater I’m like this is so
inappropriate for how gorgeous this
thing is it was constructed with such
care you know what I mean like some dude
carving the ceiling he’s like one day a
ginger man will tell a disgusting penis
joke In This Very
Room so it’s ridiculous will erup
and the laughs will sound so lovely and
they will bounce off these beautiful
walls they will project perfectly right
to the specific point yeah it’s it’s
been a it’s been amazing and now I’m
twinging around doing uh getting ready
for my hour I’m going to shoot another
hour in a in a bit but I’m getting the
hour like honed in and all that so I’m
touring again that’s awesome man I
cannot [ __ ] that your La your dude
the last cheeseburger was a [ __ ]
Banger thank you yeah cheeseburger on
Netflix that was a it was so much fun
man that was like what a fun thing to do
I shot that in Denver and that’s the
same thing we like coin up an hour over
a couple years and you peel it apart and
some guys you know like some guys back
in the day would do two or three years
then for like Chappelle and Louis it was
like every year and now people are back
to a couple years to kind of like Pace
it out I think for a minute those guys
were like competing over like who could
do it who could do it who could do it
and then the younger guys we were like
well I’ll chill out a little bit I’m
good I need to break myself you know I
love how you brought a full circle with
the uh the cheeseburger though oh yeah
yeah you just want to be enjoyed I just
want to be enjoyed I named that that the
cheeseburger because I just it was a
real conversation I had with my wife
about having like a you know a tough
time mentally which we all go through
yeah I was like I just want to be a
cheeseburger I just want people to enjoy
me right now while they have me I did I
didn’t I don’t need some you know I
don’t I don’t need some great stamp by
the world I just want you to like have
fun right now cuz life should be to me
living right now it’s tough to live for
any other time so that’s what that whole
thing was about you know it’s like just
have fun right now this you have no idea
what when it’s going to go or you know
how you go so you can’t be looking so
far in the future the whole thing was
when you eat a cheeseburger you’re just
enjoying it now you’re not thinking
about anything other than that yeah so
that I don’t I don’t want the trophies
or the statues especially if the statue
looks like Allen I’s
stat dud the statues can go one way or
the other bro some of them are so good
some of them you’re
like all right all right they love you
they love you I mean like if they made a
statue of you guys I mean don’t you want
pre-approval doesn’t that don’t you want
to go can I take a look at the dra the
drawings it’s like getting a tattoo
without them putting the stencil on I’m
always like freehand are we freehand the
statue you going to freehand the statue
I think we should lay it out first we
don’t have a machine that can make this
like way we 3D we can 3D print yeah well
like Jordan statue when they put that up
outside the United Center I I remember
that was like mixed reviews cuz I’m from
Chicago and that was like some people
loved it some people didn’t like it but
they’re never going to look that much
like you do you know what I mean like
it’ll be close but it can’t be what so
don’t expect anything yeah yeah so Jason
don’t expect don’t expect your statue to
look anything like you out there in yeah
no if they ever do I hope it looks much
better looking but shout out to Alan
Iverson you know stat but I it was a
strange statue let’s be real it was it
was like a minii version it was a little
while you were just about to talk about
you’re you’re building out a new special
you’re getting ready to do another hour
right what what’s that process like how
long are these jokes I mean being tested
out before you’ve figured out what that
run a show looks like yeah so it’s you
know a everyone has a different process
there is no there is no like we all do
this but uniform not at all some guys
you know I’m doing a club run you know
and then I’m going to go play theaters
when it’s when it’s really cooked but
right now I’m doing clubs um to do four
shows two Sat two Friday two Saturday
sometimes I’ll do six depending on the
city like in Dallas I sold out six
quickly because Dallas is great for I
like I mean that City I always do well
in and I like the club a lot so I was
like I’ll just do that but I like to
just peel it out and it’ll it takes me
you know this this will have
been almost a year um and I’m got I have
the hour that I think I want to present
and then I’ll go to the club and kind of
start to puzzle piece it together in
terms of like this should go here I want
this here and then slowly stack it uh
listen to my setback write it down you
know and go back and forth and then
change it the next night and the next
night maybe go back to the first one and
see how it how my timing works and see
how it uh dude this so fascinating yeah
it’s weird and there’s no there’s no one
way truly like I have friends that do
it um that you know like Shane Gillis is
a is a good homie and like he’s doing it
on tour now beautiful dog because he
just yeah beautiful dog such a good
special and he’s doing it now on his new
tour in the peeling in the new stuff
that he’s got and then also doing a set
that he already knows he has so everyone
has a different process but for me I’m
just going to do a club run and then I’m
going to do theaters probably in the
fall to get ready ready to record maybe
I think December or January I’ll record
it you think you’ll you’ll go back to
the hometown I don’t know where I’m
going to record this one man that’s so
funny they asked me um I’m actually
doing it with uh I feel like I can say
this I’m doing it with Omaha Productions
with uh oh nice Manning over at Oma the
big so I so we we have a meeting coming
up about where we want to shoot it and I
I’m still lost in the sauce I don’t know
I just can’t I haven’t
pinpointed uh where I want to do it but
I do think it’s going to be in the
midwest I will say that I’m almost
positive it’s going to be the Midwest
yeah Midwest guys keep it home yeah baby
keep back you think uh back to that
process do you enjoy working the clubs
trying new material in that like smaller
intimate Vibe more or do you like the
the big produced Big show Stadium Vibe
big shows are good when you’re when you
have the thing to give them you know
it’s almost like
um I don’t know if you’re like if you
know when the kids put on like a show
during the holidays for the adults you
know like when it when the kids are like
all right we’re gonna you guys want to
watch us perform the thing it’s like
that’s that’s what it feels like when we
go do theaters that you’re like I want
to show them I want to show Mom and Dad
the thing now I we were you know we were
in the cousin’s room we were preparing
the speech and the song and the thing
that’s what it feels like and the clubs
feel like the to warm up I mean it’s
still it’s not like that’s less of a
show it’s just way more intimate and
loose and kind of you know it’s kind of
more fun it’s it’s kind of like when
you’re drunk making a meal when you’re
like ah we’ll see if this works we’ll
see if this works how does that taste
and then you know and then the theaters
are more like a a sit down dinner where
you’re like this is prepared it’s tight
it’s more concise you know for me person
again but that’s everyone’s so different
but that’s how I’d like to do it oh yeah
do you um you talked about doing the
tour this past uh set of shows you guys
talked about going on a bus oh my god
did you guys end up doing the tour bus
yeah we did the tour bus we did it for
the first half and then that was
it I got to tell you that was it they
were like do you want the bus for the
second half I was like no I think we’re
going to fly I think we’re going to
fly we know there’s no everyone knows
the rule of tour buses there is no
pooping on the bus that is a fact it’s
been that way since the70s abused that
Bobby Bobby Lee Bobby Lee clearly was
the first one to poop on the bus I I
wish Vegas had a money line on it I
would have I was I would have bet so big
hammered that I mean but the bus driver
we had this dude he was so funny man he
was so wild and he’s like I’m just going
to be real with you if y’all poop on the
bus y’all are going to be smelling it
for a long time and I was like let’s not
poop on the bus please of course yeah
Bobby pooped on the bus without a doubt
he’s like we couldn’t stop it was 2: in
the morning
he wasn’t going to pull over blah all
these excuses which I know wasn’t true I
know he pooped in the afternoon and he
just lied to me yeah it was it was 2
p.m. not 2 a.m. he was just he switching
his head but the bus the bus life is
crazy because you live in these coffins
you know which
actually are more comfortable than you
think they call them these coffins
they’re like bunks yeah they’re not that
bad you feel kind of like uh snuggled
like burrito in a little bit interesting
I slept in the back for a bunch of it in
there was like a bedroom back there but
small and I hated it the bunks are a
little bit nicer cuz there’s a dump bunk
where you put all your stuff in and then
you sleep in those little they’re little
comfort you know little like tiny
comforting sleeping bags on just little
nooks little nooks and then you can put
your iPad up they’ve got these clips you
can put your iPad on the ceiling and
watch TV shows and movies yeah it’s
actually kind of nice they have little
speakers and fans and it’s kind of cool
it’s kind of a little getaway but the
worst part is doing a show
doing the meet and greets and all that
stuff you got to eat fast pack up then
get on the bus immediately because you
have to drive to the next city so you’re
sleeping through the night and then
you’re waking up in Oklahoma then you’re
waking up in KC then you’re waking up in
Indianapolis so that’s a little tough on
on your body clock it stinks you got to
wake up I would try to get a workout in
then go to lunch write and organize do
sound check and then you’re at the venue
so there’s not a ton of like kick at
time it’s kind of tough it’s a little
tough for that’s why the planes are so
much easier it’s more expensive
to jump the whole crew on a plane and go
go go but it’s worth it man cuz the
buses are they’re tough they’re tough
it’s tough dude I can only imagine
especially on in when you’re going
through the middle of the country and
this is this is you all night long on
the all night dude I mean it’s like
being out at Sea I mean like all night
you’re like this cuz the buses are so
topheavy any bit of wind they shake the
whole night and if the road is a little
bumpy gotcha no buo it’s not good yeah
it’s not good they’re hard to pee in the
middle of the night you’re holding on to
the wall yeah it’s going everywhere dude
before we get out of Vegas um you were
we got to give 8 a.m. golf a shout um
they always have the funnest tournament
I was pissed I couldn’t make it this
year but um we were mad you didn’t come
back the returning Champions didn’t
return which is a little strange well
that yeah Pat didn’t do the past two
years I at least came back last year and
tried to run it up with uh Chan P fell
short to Timberlake and Fallon for all
of you that don’t know 8 a.m. golf is
Timberlake’s big deal that he has out in
um has out in Vegas every single year
the win win golf club and man is it a
[ __ ] good time it was so fun man
looking at all the videos from over the
weekend I know I missed a good one yeah
Jimmy went Jimmy went off he threw he
threw a drone in the water which uh it
started he threw one of the flags I
think he threw the flag on the 17th
Green in the water dude he’s and then he
threw the Drone in the water you know
that’s my lake lake Lake Travis yeah I
know I that’s where he threw my putter
he’s got a [ __ ] God damn it Jimmy
control yourself he can’t dude he was
out of control but he was they were
having we played them the second round
um it was me and C League me and
Courtney Lee played uh C leue in the
second half we played them and we did
great it was just I was giving Chandler
[ __ ] because uh him and Blake Griffin
got like 30 Strokes I was like how can I
beat the guys who stroke on every
hole but it was so much fun man we had
yeah and it keeps getting better there’s
more and more D just good people that
come every single year you it was stack
it was uh stacked with like so many fun
cool uh and good golfers like
surprisingly more people that were good
than I knew how good they were until
they showed up and I was like’s always
out there we played him and um Brian and
I can’t remember his last name from The
Office why I can’t remember his last
name I always forget it too not bomb is
bner right that’s right yeah I think I
still owe him from you don’t ow him
anything Taho he went off gambling by
the way he went dude that guy goes he
kills I see him out Tahoe always ripping
in it yeah he’s like do you want come
play with us and I was like I’m going to
go to the $50 tables I don’t think my
residuals are as good as yours buddy so
I went I went over to little little baby
tables but they were going I mean they
were gambling gambling and then we
played them in the second round and on
18 there was a couple of like fans or
sponsors or whatever behind us and the
guy was like uh oh how how you guys
doing I said good and he goes do you
know do you know uh do you know him and
I go yeah he’s a swimmer I think that
guy’s a swimmer about Phelps he goes no
I know that I go yeah I think I think he
was like in the olyp I I don’t know what
I think he’s an Olympic guy I think he’s
an Olympic guy and the guy got annoyed
he was like no I know that I’m saying
did you guys know each other before are
you
American I said yeah I think he’s got a
bunch of the neck danglies that they
give you um the lanyards yeah the lanard
Yeah couple lanyards yeah to take home
yeah so it was fun overall man it was so
much fun we had uh it was a great time
uh and a good group of people and um I’m
taking a break from drinking for a
little while because ow ow ow ow ow
that’ll be uh me next week next week 15
in the my homies Pat Mahomes has his uh
which I’m missing for the first time in
four years I’m year over at Shadow Man
haven’t played shadow in a long time so
I’m pumped about that oh you’re gonna
kill it and I’m pumped to see my dog all
right well I at least have to get a give
a shout out to 8 a. for always having a
blast sorry I couldn’t make it this year
guys let’s get to uh let’s get to Ricky
St Nikki dude are you kidding me I was
talking to you when you were filming
this out in Australia right Dand Dand
you’re out there playing playing on the
links out there I was hitting the sticks
available now on Amazon Prime make sure
you guys check it out um you start
alongside Zack Efron Germaine Fowler and
John Cena John
Cena Yeah he was great man Cena is the
best we had so much fun down there we
shot in Melbourne uh or Melbourne As
Americans say it and uh Cena Efron
William H Macy um and my boy Germaine
was play you know me and and Germaine
Fowler and Efron played three best
friends who make up uh an imaginary
friend as their Alibi for all the
trouble that they get into as kids and
then our wives and girlfriends are like
I want to meet this dude so we have to
hire a lunatic to play our best friend
and that’s John Cena John Cena so fun
man oh my God it was it was one of the
most fun times I’ve ever had and
shooting it in Australia was wild I went
out with Cena and we had uh John likes
Guinness and I’m a whiskey and Tequila
you know I’m a big whiskey guy and I I
like I’m not really a huge not a huge
Beer Guy I’ll have one with you but um
he loves Guinness and so I mean biggest
guy in the room loves the most protein
in% you got to keep it I got to keep
it’s chicken and Guinness my guy he’s
stealing he’s stealing protein now so he
would say there would be nights where
he’d be you know he’d shoot me a text
and be like do you want to go have a
Guinness I think I’ve got a later start
and a later start for John would be like
9:30 a.m. you know what I mean like he
was so he’s so on top of it it’s
unbelievable I like professionalism
through the roof with that guy keep
hearing about this through the roof dude
early prepped Beyond prepared like Brie
bushy tailed he he’s one of those guys
he’s ready to go at all times there is
no excuses with him not like that’s a
talent man yeah it’s a skill for sure
and then he’d call me and be like hey I
have a late one in tomorrow do you want
to go have a Guinness or two but with
him it’s like I’m 61 200 lb I’m not a
tiny guy but one or two is the first
five minutes do you know what I mean
like he he every one Guinness I had he’d
have three so I think
damn we went out and ate kangaroo and
had Guinness at a bar ate kangaroo yeah
we had kangaroo I had kangaro what are
you eating on the kangaroo like the tail
or the th you I think yeah you’re I
think you’re eating the chin down here
just now I don’t know what I think we’re
eating kangaroo backstrap or I have no
idea what part I didn’t even ask I
didn’t ask no what did it taste like
time out it’s got most similar taste
it’s gy of regular animals it’s game
like de you know how deer is like how
deer but if you marinate it long enough
it’s not I liked it I don’t know like
John didn’t like it I finished my steak
salad I I mean also I was on five
guinnesses so who knows who knows if it
was the hunger or if it was that the
beautiful Irish uh Irish beer but at
first I was like do you eat this down
here and then iy was like kangaroo you
have someone has to look this up they
outnumber humans in Australia it’s like
five to one oh wow like I thought there
can’t be that many is this an endangered
thing they were like no mate they’re
everywhere they’re too many kangaroo
like they can’t wait for you to eat them
and and so yeah they don’t care so we
ate them and had Guinness and it was
John hated it I loved it I thought it
was so delicious I would eat it again
but uh he’s a good dude to go out and
have one with and then again in the
morning a pro like doesn’t miss a beat a
total Pro So Dope yeah me on the other
hand I was yeah it was some tough
mornings K Ru killing me right now yeah
it was tough it was tough but we had so
much fun and they were really really
good people and good to they treated us
well that whole city showed us so much
love in melb something about the Aussies
man they’re the best dude they such cool
people every single time I [ __ ] see
one I ran into Hemsworth yeah one one
night and it was like I met my long lost
brother yeah within like two minutes I’m
like dude we got to rip it again yeah we
don’t have enough time right now we got
to do so chill and so down there’s I
don’t know it’s it is a it is a great
Vibe down there and then we went to
Tasmania uh which I couldn’t recommend
more I thought that was like like one of
the coolest things we went to this place
called the um the
Mona uh M Mo the Museum of old and new
art oh cool and this dude the story is
crazy this dude was like a billionaire
gambler who was like banned from
gambling cuz he like cracked the code he
was like Rainman and then he took all
this money and he bought this huge
beautiful house you’d have to look this
up and it’s multiple floors it’s got to
be three to five floors underground
everything from like picassos to like
brand new art and during the day there’s
five or six like Nooks of musicians
artists painters performers working on
their craft and then they perform in the
evening so they so they’re they’re doing
it during the day and then you get to
see it in the afternoon and it was one
of the coolest things I’ve ever seen in
my life like we watched a a harpist uh
write a new song and then she was
performing at 4:30 that night that’s
cool as song you watch them work it out
and then you get to chill go have lunch
come back yeah it would dude we had so
much fun down there I can’t wait to go
back awesome whenever I hear a a harp
going off it just feels like I start to
like get lifted and just start floating
yeah oh wow that is what I want to
people say you see the the lights when
you pass away I just want to hear a harp
then I’ll be like all right it’s
time hit the harp hit the harp take me
take me take me to the other place so
good man shout out to Australia for
making it home for you guys showing me a
lot of love and let’s move on to some no
dumb questions all right now it’s time
to get to our segment no dumb questions
because there’s no such thing as dumb
people true true true just dumb
questions wait I had that backwards
there’s no such we’ll just keep it going
no there is no such thing as dumb people
there definitely there’s definitely dumb
people just no dumb questions that’s
right until you hear some of these no
dumb questions are sponsored by Tommy
John underwear you ever you ever threw
on some Tommy John’s yeah I mean I
usually free ball but I’m going to start
wearing Tommy Johns from now on we got
something about the Midwest crew right
here we just yeah let it fly I don’t but
you guys do Tommy John makes the most
comfortable underwear on the planet no
adjustment needed know sometimes you
gotta no sh no sh no shifting no
shifting all right here let’s get to our
first no dump question from Michelle
kins with a Z on Instagram uh did Trav
really forget his undergarments four
years ago when he came on your
podcast let me tell you something I got
a call Travis came on Whiskey Ginger
when I used to shoot it out of my house
before when when we were moving Studios
yeah and we he came to the house we set
up at the crib because we were moving
and so it was kind of a tight squeeze
and the cameras and the angles all this
stuff and uh my editor calls me and he’s
like bro I don’t know how to tell you
this but uh Travis was falling out of
out of his
shorts I was like what what are you
saying dude like why are you being so I
was like what do you mean falling out of
his shorts he’s like I he’s you know his
uh his boys were were sliding out and I
was like oh no and he goes do you want
to like call him and re-shoot it and I
said just put a Kansas City Chief’s logo
over
over his page whenever it falls out I
mean Travis’s uh his his boys wanted to
make an appearance on Whiskey Ginger and
I get that but sometimes they’d slide
out sometimes they go back in the cave
uh so I said dude just throw a logo over
it it’ll be really funny and hey what’s
that commotion yeah what’s going on out
there hey hey you guys laughing at yeah
Travis had a couple of Fallout couple of
Fallout boys uh and we cut it out and by
the way that that footage will be
available what’s her name McKenzie or
whatever yeah mcken Michelle Michelle
Michelle uh that footage will be
available on our patreon no I’m kidding
I’m kidding we’re gonna hold off and
sell that footage for a lot of money
someday Michelle that one is in the
vault for Life yeah Travis had a little
uh Side Show going on I didn’t have my
Tommy John’s on no he did not no wonder
you wear underwear now I’ve never had
I’ve never had that issue mine can’t
fall anywhere they’re adhered well you
tape it to your leg Yeah keep it
tight I got all right um well it was a
fun ask interview you guys should check
it out on Whiskey Ginger page our
sponsor Tommy John heard about this and
has given us a a care package just for
you oh hey how about that whoa Sano it’s
under my seat how about this under your
seat how about this I didn’t know we
gave out oh look at that just for you I
know I know you free ball and everything
but you I mean you got friends and
cousins and [ __ ] the gold standard of
underwear there you go oh nice emergency
box I won’t have to shift ever again
look at that packaging dudee these are
great man thank you so much know
hopefully they’re in your side yeah I
mean size yeah they might be my size
we’ll find out we’ll find out you know
me if it’s free give me three I got I
imagine I’m a little smaller than you
underwear sizewise just because of yeah
that’s it there’s no uh shifting yeah
there’s no shifting no more shifting
automatic underwear yeah so thanks Tommy
John for uh for passing those along
thanks TJ we didn’t know you didn’t wear
underwear yeah no I do now I will now it
depend honestly depends on the season
when it starts to get warmer I you know
it depends on the the pants I’m wearing
it’s all like when I golf I’ll be
wearing my Tommy Johns there you go yeah
you got to I have to yeah exactly but
when I’m around the house or when I’m at
work or when I’m with friends and family
when I’m in a funeral a wedding free
ball but I’ll be wearing my I’ll be
wearing my tjs when I play sports let
the boys fly all right let’s move on our
next one fromily
eel on Instagram not for Andrew but my
husband and I constant argue about this
is Travis of
Ginger uh no you’re not you are but you
are accepted by the community we had a
meeting honorary yeah we had a meeting
in in what
uh February this
year and we voted on you and you did
slide in you we are you’re a brother
you’re a part of the Brotherhood that’s
what I’m talking about but you are you
are your own animal you’re not one of us
but we do love you and accept you very
much and Jason you did get an honorary
mention as well because we do know
you’ll have specks of red come in your
beard a little bit um the rumor is you
pluck them which we’re not happy about
you have to let them stay you got to let
them stay dude yeah that’s so good but
you do get a little bit of a red beard
in the summertime your beard gets a
little red yeah if it gets real long and
then the Sun hits it yeah I know fries
that thing real nice you’re you you you
me in the you look like me if um God
wasn’t messing around with colors you
know what I mean if he was like all
right we’ll stop playing we’ll make like
a we’ll make a goodlooking version of it
I was he’s just [ __ ] around I was the
beta version of it yeah he’s like look
at how funny this looks all right we’ll
make a good we’ll make a good one look
at his legs look at his legs we’ll make
a good one we’ll make a good one but
you’re accepted by the Brotherhood
accepted by the ginger crew thank you
thank you gosh I’m I’m so [ __ ]
honored I know man it’s thinking of all
the it’s a big deal I’m thinking of the
community that I’m a part of right now
is
scalini sc’s absolutely
that’s one of our Kings The White Mamba
yeah he is actually one of the one of
the leaders of the conference yeah he’s
up top him Ron Howard uh although he’s
lost most of it but we still recognize
him oh yeah um Kathy Griffin krot top
krop swoll is a son of a bu yeah well
he’s our security katop Works
security I saw him at the Super Bowl
back to back to your uh Chicago Roots
what about uh Rodman yeah Rodman got
he’s he’s definitely in when when he
wants to be and we just can’t argue with
him yeah we’re not allowed to say
anything about that I don’t want him to
come beat I had ask because obviously
one of the best comedians shy toown like
Bill Murray the best like when Farley
and was frell at the uh Chicago like
Studio that was so a lot of those guys
came through Second City in Chicago
Second City a lot of guys would come to
come to Chicago and perform there or
like start comedy there and then go to
you know back to New York or LA or
whatever but Second City has cultivated
like some of the greatest comics of all
time that place in particular you know
and same thing with you know uh iio
improv Olympic they Chicago became this
like improv Hub and uh it made it made
some of the greatest of all time have
you ever that’s why Farley loved Chicago
so much I mean he was a you know he went
to school in Marquette Wisconsin kid and
he loved Chicago unfortunately lost him
in Chicago which stinks but like yeah
those I think a lot of those guys
Chicago feels like a a smaller New York
so if you’re not ready for New York as a
performer maybe it feels a little bit
more homey it’s the Midwest and the
culture was so thick and Rich with with
comedy and then you know people went on
to those guys all went on to SNL and
then yeah you know the rest of did you
did you come straight west coast or did
you I never started in Chicago I started
stand up when I moved to California I
was uh I mean I performed a little bit
in Phoenix when I went to school at
Arizona State the Harvard of the West
baby yeah and uh I would
yeah shock them shock put him up shock
them up so yeah the yeah the Harvard and
the desert uh I went out there and I did
a little bit of stand up but then when I
moved to LA is when I really so I would
say I started in Los Angeles I would
never say I started I’m not a Chicago
comic Chicago’s home but how long were
you already in the scene out here before
you got the role in I’m dying up here I
I was always curious about I mean I so I
moved here in 06 [ __ ] a607 thank you
0607 and that show was God how long long
ago now uh two again my my math is I
have bad math who knows what year it was
I’m dying up here started in come on
this where our produc producers Thrive
come on yeah they Thrive the most come
on guys what do I’m dying up here what
year was that in they they offer zero
2017 or 16 2017 I think we might have
filmed it in 2016 so you you had 10
years you had been grinding for quite a
bit for a decade and then I got that
show and that show kind of lifted me
because it was produced by Jim Carrey
Melissa Leo and Oscar winter was in it
so just like dude I got to Alfred Molina
man how was it working with Jim [ __ ]
Cary the man I mean Jim the wildest
story is Jim came to watch us at The
Comedy Store perform and uh I was a at
first I thought is this a bad idea or a
good idea that he’s going to see us cuz
the store is where we like we we call it
working out our local club we we go to
workout that’s the gym we literally
refer to it as the gym is like working
out new bits and trying new stuff and
you know you have off nights and up
nights and down nights but for the most
part as a profession professional you’re
just working out yeah he wanted to come
see us and uh I was a little not nervous
but like I was like is this the right
venue for him to see us because this
isn’t you know what I mean we’re doing
our thing I’m nervous right now for you
yeah and sure enough he came and saw and
me and Eric Griffin and El magical who
ended up the being the three stand-ups
on the show and everybody had really
really good sets I mean the room was hot
things were really good and then I think
Jim wanted to go back too to feel the
atmosphere I mean he he was there I mean
that was his Club yeah and it was
awesome and then speaking to Jim was
amazing kind of like learning his
insight about comedy in the world and
what that club meant to him and what it
did to him and what mity kind of did for
his life and his career and it was a
dream come true if the child and me who
used to sit in my mom’s basement
rewinding the VHS dude of Dumb and
Dumber until it broke with my best
friend Shawn could be like dude you’re
going to work with this dude one I mean
it was like mindbending it was it was
him and Farley Carrie and Farley for me
man were my absolute favorite I still
have all of them on VHS actually I just
yeah I went out and got a little 19in
VHS TV with the TV with the vhss underne
and I just [ __ ] by the way those
things for people that don’t know the
VHS uh the VHS is that built on the TV
it might have weighed 156 lbs it was the
heaviest
TV it was so it was a brick dud and it
was always really awkward to grab you
couldn’t just like pick it up like you
had to like [ __ ] get you know it was
it was like side th like a side thigh
lift you know what I mean one of I hated
that I I had one in my my room at my
mom’s house for years and years and
years but yeah that was a dream come
true man my favorite thing about those
old school TVs you is you would
literally slap them when they weren’t
working and somehow that like worked I
still don’t know why
that just [ __ ] it well that was our
dad I think that was hit the top of it
or side our dad’s they learned that they
like I hit hit the TV I hit the kids I
hit the thing when the thing doesn’t
work I hit it it works the kids the
cofin machine the
TV whenever you go into bits about your
dad I immed I like I feel like we grew
up in the same house West dads have the
same they have the same same the exact
same mannerisms go if he if he doesn’t
want to do it just Whack Him in the head
right he’ll figure it out trust me just
a good one good whack right I he like
gave all of my friends
dad’s the thumbs up on if he gets out of
line you just [ __ ] Whack Him what did
he say what did he say oh man the fear
that that the Midwest fathers put inside
of I’d get cracked on this the top of
the head was like the crack that and you
like felt it through your spine it like
went into your toes I used to hate it so
much I knew my dad was angry when he
wouldn’t say anything when he when he
would give me like the fa the face of
like you know what you did oh yeah you
know exactly what you did it ate me
alive like when he yelled I was like
this is fine I guess he’s going to be
mad but when he didn’t say anything I
was like oh man this is not good yeah no
got to tighten up yeah that that uh
you’re I’m not upset I’m really
disappointed in you guys yeah your
behavior when uh I still remember he had
like a spell where I would like try to
run away and he would if you run away
it’s going to get worse get over here
right now like the spanking was like the
ring in like Lord of the Rings and I was
Dobby and I just like couldn’t I have no
idea where you just went I’m so [ __ ]
lost where you just went you really what
a great trick he pulled because if I run
away it’s not going to be worse you’re
not going to catch me you’re not going
to catch me with those old
knees I’m out of here bro he knew he
knew he knew good trick yeah let’s do
let’s do another one of these no dumb
questions from Aon reddish on Instagram
which comedian could get one yard in the
NFL oo that’s a good one which comedian
could get one actual yard in the NFL
meaning as a running back yeah yeah I
was going to say as a wide receiver or
as a tight end there could be a couple
of people that are pretty as a but as a
back would be tough yeah cuz who’s got
enough loow to the ground energy to be
able to do that there’s a I would say
gota be short and stocky I mean I would
say um this sounds like B Bobby Lee
Bobby well here’s why Bobby Lee would be
able to get a yard in the NFL they would
hand him the ball he would drop his
pants and everybody would run the
opposite way so he might get a first
down until somebody’s ready to tackle
him that’s the only trick he might be
able to psychological advant
psychological but from a physical
standpoint literally nobody nobody would
be I mean like what are we even talking
about right now nobody yeah not one
comic the only guy that would be able to
trick people would be Bobby with his uh
his penis yeah or he would just run
backwards with his butt spread open and
then just wobble backwards with the ball
and no one would tackle him yeah that’s
such a Bobby move yeah oh man he could
get away with that Bobby just called me
by the way he wants to know uh where I’m
at and what I’m doing I said I’m here
you want me to call him real fast let’s
call Bob hi guys Bobby we love you
congrats on the tour Bobby hey Bob we
said they asked who could in the NFL who
could maybe in comedy who could who
could maybe get one yard running the
football uh in the NFL and we said you
because how would you get the ball and
what would you do if you got the ball to
run through uh to run through the line
what do you think you’d be able to do to
get a yard in the
NFL um can I put poo on my helmet there
you go you can put poo on your helmet
you could good trick we said you would
get naked we said you’d show your penis
and run through the line no I think
people would want to tackle me people
would want to tackle you right then
you’re more desirable all right I’ll
call you I’ll call you when I’m out of
here love you BBY love you babe bye and
the last one from inday on uh Instagram
have you told Travis about the time you
punked Taylor I have seen this I watch
punked yeah have I haven’t seen uh we’ll
we got to you got to see the clip but
it’s we did uh Justin Bieber was hosting
that episode it was a celebrities
punking a celebrity and um we did this
many many years
ago I guess Bieber had come back from
Japan and he told Taylor to come to his
house to set off fireworks off the back
of this house that we rented in Malibu
uh my favorite part about this by the
way when this clip resurfaced people
were like that’s so mean this is crazy
it’s like this is fake it’s a TV show
it’s not us we’re not you know what I
mean it’s like Jesus relax um but Taylor
got a call from Justin and was like come
come to this new recording studio and
she came down there at the beach in
Malibu to just see his new studio and
hang out and he was like I have these
fireworks from Japan we let’s set them
off and Taylor obviously to her credit
who’s always on point was like I don’t
know if I want to do
that and then so we had to put we knew
we actually knew ahead of time as we
wrote the bit cuz I wrote this bit I was
like uh I was a performer on Punk and I
also write was writing the show and I
said if she doesn’t want to do it we
have to make it so it’s like a button or
a thing where it’s like an accidental
easy like did you do press this or
whatever and they set up a rig a fake
rig with buttons on it and she did like
touch one like slightly just goofing
around and it set off a firework and we
had it on a rope line to throw it in the
direction of this boat a big boat out in
the ocean it set the boat on fire
and uh there was a wedding party on the
boat and I was the groom and we were uh
dinging to shore uh with our boat on
fire and we blamed her for ruining our
wedding and uh that’s that’s great got I
will say this I love you you could ask
her the truth but she bought it I know
she bought it cuz it was chaotic I mean
the boat was on fire but it was all
professionally done my favorite part is
people on the internet we like oh yeah
what a waste of money burning a boat
it’s like we didn’t burn a boat it’s a
it’s not a real rig but yeah she set a
wedding party on fire and we came to
shore with the pastor myself the bride
and we were like you ruined our wedding
Taylor Swift and then my wife and
Gregory was like uh maybe it’s a sign
maybe this is a sign I shouldn’t marry
him and Taylor was like no I don’t I
don’t think that’s right I don’t know if
that’s right it was so good I got to ask
tell about that so fun man it was just
like such a it was a it was perfect bit
that worked some of the bits were so
wild and they didn’t work but hers was
specifically uh was great cuz it was so
many moving pieces that kind of came
together sometimes they don’t come
together like that but like we we did
one with Drake We punked Drake he was
thought he was going to meet Vice
President Joe Biden at the time and uh
we put him in the basement of the the
skirball center and we had Secret
Service come like you know mirrors in
the car and the dogs and him and his
boys were in the car and he’s like and I
was a secret Ser I drove them I was a
secret service member and he was like yo
chill like don’t like he was being he
was so legit he was being such a he was
on his good boy Behavior he’s like like
don’t [ __ ] around with a secret service
like don’t no jokes no none of that [ __ ]
like he was prepping his boys and then
we had put a rig underneath his car kind
of like um you know how like a
self-winding watch has a a weight that
isn’t you know that when it flips it
spins so it oh yeah the the the weight
goes I don’t even know what those things
are called I’m too stupid but we put
that it put that motor underneath the
car and we put it all over on other cars
in this garage and so we simulated a
fake earthquake so the car was shaking
other cars were shaking
and we make smoke and and and it was all
this so he was sitting in the car we
just had to keep him in the car so he
would feel it shake like it’s an
earthquake the whole time and uh he had
a fullon panic like
Drake Shut up to Drake being from Canada
he was just like he was like yo yo yo he
grabbed onto his boy he held him real
tight it was hilarious dude yeah use
that in the disc Krick use that in the
disc I’m going to I would have I would
have [ __ ] been [ __ ] myself with
something like that dude he was freaking
out and then we had my wife who played
in the earlier sketch aun she was
pregnant and she came on she’s like
what’s going on so you see this pregnant
woman in the middle of an earthquake and
Drake was like Drake was like stay away
from the car there this’s the Secret
Service Car you can’t come near the car
it so funny dude yeah we had some wild
wild bits but yeah that one was good the
tayl you have to ask Taylor about it
yeah I’ll see I’ll see if she was uh
trying to sell it or not yeah she might
have been I don’t know when I saw it I
thought I bought it I bought an yeah we
did they did it right yeah well that
does it for no dumb questions brought to
you by Tommy John thank you Tommy John
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sunglasses let’s move on to some more
standup man all right let’s uh talk
about your standup career a little bit
more You’ like to ask the uh the
football guest what’s your welcome to
the NFL moment um what would you say was
your welcome to standup moment that’s a
good question I think uh or welcome to
Comedy moment yeah you know like I think
a big a big moment in my comedy life and
there’s been so many like honestly like
I there’s there’s moments where you go
wow this is amazing this is amazing this
is like I can’t believe that but I think
like the earliest one would be the first
Club to pass me um was uh the Hollywood
improv the historic Hollywood improv um
and they passed me and this is wild I
can show you this is the craziest thing
I was in Las Vegas visiting my friend
Shawn that guy that used to watch Dum
and Dumber with me he was living in
Vegas for a stint because he took a job
out there and I have it right here on 10
it’s the oldest email I kept 10:16 2009
from the Hollywood improv hello there
let me know this is your first paid set
as a regular and I was the first person
on the list and it was from 1016 which
is my birthday nice I got my I got this
email on my birthday from Eric the old
Booker at the impr it was meant to be
and this was a moment I was in Vegas and
my mom was there and and my best
friend’s mom was there they were
visiting him and we were all having like
a family and that was like a I don’t
know that was just a really amazing
important moment in my life that it was
like wow okay I finally get to work at
this club you know and it wasn’t like
that was it you know what I mean that
was just my end like your in now now you
get to try to come work and keep your
spot and perform every week and see if
we let you come back and see if we book
you so it’s kind of like a testing
ground but they’re saying yes to you be
getting in and that was a massive moment
then when the store passed me right
after that and then you know little
moments like that but that one was
something special that was like really
wild to receive that on my birthday
that’s cool as [ __ ] yeah that it’s like
you’re now going to be accepted into the
to lineups you can call in and request
spots you doesn’t mean you would get
them but You’ say hey I’m available I’d
love to work if I can work so yeah and
that’s that’s the grind forever that’s
what you had to do for years and years
and years and try to keep your spots and
it’s just like what you guys had to do
it’s like if you don’t perform uh you
may not play yeah you know what I mean
to the big leagues man yeah you have to
perform just dope yeah it was cool man
right that was like my entry level to uh
in sports terms that was the that was
the farm league you know what I mean
that I was I was in the farm league and
what getting brought up means you get to
be on the big shows and then sometimes
you go back down the the farm laks for a
little while
thought you go batting practice in you
know what I mean yeah got honestly that
was that was the coolest cuz we used to
have a I think it was a AAA team um just
outside of uh Cleveland called the lake
eie captains and whenever like a guy was
kind of coming off a IR or like kind of
just wanted to like get a swing back or
something like I remember Omar vcel
playing for the captains for like two
games and I just happened to be going
out there because the tickets were $5
and it was fun way to like watch a
baseball game and hang out and honestly
just like [ __ ] around as a kid yeah and
I got to see Omar vcll play in the lake
are captains and it was like what the
[ __ ] even the big dogs playing like
still so it’s like yeah you were just
you you’re going to get your swing going
to get my swing in we saw when I was
living in Long Beach when I first moved
here
cono played for long
Beach’s like minor league squad or
something like that they were in Long
Beach and we went down there to see Jose
cono play a couple that was like the
weirdest thing ever playing against
little kids he was yeah basically it was
like was like cono playing against uh
like a like a local minor league team or
something like that it was so weird and
I was like what why is he doing I don’t
know what he was doing but we went down
there and saw him when I was staying in
Long Beach and I was like this is kind
of fun to see and the difference is
incredible when you see it you’re like
oh yeah that’s that’s why he was a pro
yeah I mean this this I think he pitched
I’m almost crazy but I think he I think
he pitched look up Jose cono pitching in
Long Beach I’m almost positive like I’m
telling you it was nuts it was like a
minor league he did right is true this
is true
what God damn it Jose do so what was the
name of the team he pitched for how do
you pitch with Lance yeah well he threw
underhand J Jay he he was it was tossing
underhand it was wild watch him go do
that yeah that was nuts well in stand up
constantly touring all over the country
man yes um you are the traveler is there
any City where you feel like you like
consistently just absolutely kill it
that’s so tough like my my favorite
cities to perform uh probably would be
Seattle Portland San Francisco LA San
Diego uh Phoenix Nashville Dallas
Chicago Milwaukee Minneapolis
New York New Jersey Philly
Baltimore Washington DC Ladi G there
never a bad show Nashville just come on
down everywhere you I don’t I really
couldn’t even like truthfully I couldn’t
even tell you I would say um Hometown
Chicago I have the most fun going home
Chicago it means the most to me it’s
like just I don’t know going home you
know what it’s like to go you’re like
it’s just something else but Chicago uh
and and and uh Philly I’m a hit in
Philly in Boston though they always have
treated me so well Casey does me real
real good St Louis does me a little
dirty I’m not going to lie I know
because I’m a Chicago Kid I get it but
Casey’s always been good to me St Louis
has been all right Dallas and uh and the
West Coast has always been blessed me
really well the West Coast always does
me well but nothing like going home dude
Chicago to me it’s more like um probably
just have more fun
yeah just cuz like we have all of our
family ands come out and they bring
their friends and this year we had after
party at the Chicago theater and it was
like I don’t know 120 people or
something like yeah it was great it was
like that’s more what it what about is
like getting the family and the friends
to just go goof off you know I tell
everybody man win lose obviously love
winning more man but I I thoroughly
enjoy going up to the suite after
football games and seeing all the
friends and family man I it immediately
like
like obviously if we win the Energy’s up
it’s a [ __ ] yeah we get to party even
more and have more fun but being so
grateful for getting to where you are in
this world and being able to share that
excitement and that success with the
people that uh that you grew up with man
and the uh and the people that you’re
you’re with now man it’s just the
absolute best that’s the reason to do it
I mean I said this in the car to my
sister and her best friend are with me
and I said I think the only thing that’s
cool about being an adult is that if you
when you start to make money in your
career you get to enjoy it with your
friends and your family people that you
love the only reason for me to like get
more Career Success is like I can have
more fun with my parents and my family
my friends and do more fun stuff that’s
like to me that’s the only I don’t know
there is no other reason to do it other
than using that to have more be able to
have more fun and more access for fun
yeah yeah and get a sports car um
true there you go what is the better
comedy Town Philly or KC you got you got
to pick one what’s a better comedy Town
Philly or KC yeah don’t look at
me bro this is so mean there’s just more
people there’s way more people in Philly
yeah that’s a little unfair more people
more more funny people more com you have
to go Toe to Toe you have to go cities
of similar size uh like Indianapolis
Kansas City that would be similar in
size I bet right well which one’s better
between Indianapolis and Kansas City
yeah Kansas City there’s no doubt about
that yeah there’s no doubt about
per capita Kansas City’s crushing it can
I let me ask you this I’ve always been
interested in I’ve Loved standup comedy
my whole life Travis and I used to watch
like comedy Center presents like we
would we’ve always been infatuated with
standup what would be the way you would
recommend to me or anybody else that’s
never done it to go try it like an open
mic try a mic try yeah is there like a
strategy that you would recommend I mean
try if somebody’s really wanting to do
it I mean I would highly suggest not
doing it for everybody if that’s that’s
my that’s my first piece of advice are
you are you sick every yeah I’m going to
go up there and have some fun and do it
well a lot of people are like the
funniest guy in their group of friends
are like the funniest dude at the office
but they don’t understand like the thing
to do the thing it’s like a there’s like
another gear yeah and it’s also it
becomes if it’s your career becomes a
lifestyle it embodies everything that
you like it’s everything it’s you have
dedicated so many years you know I
started when I’m in 0607 and so it’s
like you really have to and I’m starting
to get recognized now as a standup it’s
you know it took me it takes a long time
to really do it I think a lot of people
think they can but I would say if you
want to just do it for the fun of it
yeah go hit a local yeah hit a yeah just
I’m not talking about making a career h
a local open mic and and try and a lot
of clubs will have open mics on like
Sundays or Mondays in your city
depending and I would say give it a give
it a whir and see if it does something
for you could just be therapeutic you
know what I mean where it’s like this is
good to just get it out and if you can’t
afford therapy go to your local Open Mic
that’s free you can always yell about
your dad at a local open mic in in pipy
whatever makes you feel good in the end
of the day but yeah I would say go to a
mic and try it God that’s good I would
love to see uh YouTube cats come and do
it I would love to set something up for
you guys to go do it Jay Jay would you
be down yeah
let’s so uh our next uh bit here is fans
send us all sorts of crazy [ __ ] uh
what’s the weirdest thing a fan has ever
tried to give you at a show where the
distance yeah the he’s on the TV and
he’s not he’s not he’s not here Jason
would you want to open maybe give it
just a run how I purposely you’re not he
heard it I’ll do it if you do it with me
I’ll no this isn’t a hand inand thing
we’ll see who can make more [ __ ] go
don’t make it a challenge challenge
let’s get it on wait what was the
question what did you say what was that
second question
though fans uh send us all sorts of
crazy [ __ ] what’s the weirdest thing a
fan has ever tried to give you at a show
what’s the weirdest thing a fan has ever
tried to give me at a show um I mean
I’ve gotten look I’ve gotten a lot of
drugs drugs are definitely a gift that
people give you nice that’s fun but the
wildest thing is there’s always a guy
that comes with well a dude will come
with like a pill jar and he’s like hey
well yeah and and I’m like the I’m not
taking
Jelly Bean like what is this it’s
probably it’s a good rule of thumb don’t
take random pills from people they give
you a they’ll be like this is this is
DMT or whatever and I’m always like I’m
not taking this but I will give it to a
friend that I don’t like that much I
will give
them let them have it you give it to
Bobby and all of a sudden he’s naked on
stage yeah exactly we’ve gotten but
Bobby and I have gotten on tour I will
say the fans are incredible the art that
they’ve given us is beautiful like some
of these artists make such incredible
stuff and that’s why on bad friends like
our studio is built with tons of art
yeah like we do we put up all the art
that people give us and we cycle it out
as often as we can but we’ve we’ve
gotten some really heartfelt gifts um
Bobby got a ring that somebody’s father
had during the Korean War and I thought
that was such an amazing we get a lot of
sober chips cuz Bobby sober we get a lot
of those chips um and I get a lot of
golf stuff which I think is really all
the fans know so they always get me golf
hats or golf balls or you know uh cool
little trinkets but nothing ever like oh
we did get that’s not true we did get um
ashes of
somebody’s uh passed away mother or
father I don’t quite remember
unfortunately we got a little bit of
Ashes yeah and we lost
it our to manager was like I think we
put the ashes on the thing and I was
like I don’t know what yeah so sorry to
that person your dad is in doesn’t sound
like they really somewhere else they
didn’t really care that much I I have no
idea no it was it was a nice thought
they were like I want you to have a
little bit what do you do with I I was
going to put it on my eggs I don’t I
mean I have no idea I don’t know
what little salt pepper salt pepper
little bit of D little daddy little
daddy eggs I yeah oh my goodness we got
some we’ve gotten some weird strange
stuff but nothing uh nothing too dark
well besides the ashes yeah the ashes
but the ashes was kind of a nice it was
like a nice I get it I get what they
were trying to do yeah sentimental all
right let’s get to your Chicago fandom
we got the NFL draft coming up and you
guys are sitting in the pole position
what are you hoping they
do I will say do we do we believe in my
boy do we believe uh in Caleb do we
believe in him do you I do yeah I I I
think he’s the man he’s got some he’s
got some gamer in him man but I’m also
I’ve always I’ve said this pretty
adamantly I like Justin Fields I’ve
always I always supported the guy I
thought he was great I enjoyed them I
you know look the system maybe wasn’t
working we have a lot of things going on
Chicago as people know Virginia masy I
think is I think she’s 186 now I think
you guys can look that up she’s she’s a
little bit older it’s a little she’s a
little bit older she sought off pipes
for the original yeah for the original
Soldier Stadium yeah she built Soldier
Field um it’s a little tough I think the
Bears need some fixing and I and I think
I believe in Caleb I think he’s gonna I
think he’s going to do some great stuff
I really genuinely do I hope uh and you
have to unfortunately cuz we’ve had you
guys know the Bears just have been
beaten up so much and even when we you
know we start sniffing over 500 we we
bring ourselves back down to reality
every season I do think you guys got a
good GM right now I thought uh yeah I
thought Ryan was a great uh I think he
was head of I’m not sure what his
position was in KC but I he scouted for
you guys oh yeah he was big he was yeah
he helped us build a lot of what we got
yeah and um or at least he’s been there
the entire time I’ve been there and I’ve
seen them in the building really working
and you don’t get those kind of jobs
without getting you know a good resume
build no there we have look we’re we’re
I think we’re really constructing what
could be really great for the Bears I
mean we really you know the problem with
Chicago teams we always say that we’re
like it’s a it’s we’re rebuilding it’s
like we’ve been rebuilding for a long
time we we’ve been rebuilding since I
was born on Earth but uh it’s it is what
it is I mean look and I’ll support him
forever I do get a lot of [ __ ] online
for being for supporting you I get a lot
of [ __ ] for that whenever I wear a Casey
everyone’s like oh really you’re a
Chiefs fan now that they’re winning I
was like that’s are my boys I I’m just
supporting my friends but people really
clap at me about that so I I can’t stand
that bear should get some guys who just
love to rip it on the golf course with
Cheeto man yeah that’s what I’m [ __ ]
talking about yeah come on come play
golf with me then I’ll support you no
I’m a Chicago sports fan come on Cole
yeah Cole yeah Cole’s a local boy he’s a
dog we love him I love I love watch we
but I’ll I’m I’m going to support the
Bears again and again they’re it’s hard
it’s just really tough particularly when
you spoil me and I come see you you guys
and that sucks I was like how come my
team can’t do that I like that that’s
what I like the trophy I like we want
one of those well out out of all the uh
Chicago teams which which one’s top top
dog Bears Cubs Bulls Blackhawks for me
Cubs I grew up a like a like you know
obviously I grew up a it was for me as a
kid it was it was basketball and
baseball the Bears were a little bit
later in my life cuz I played basketball
and baseball I never played football I
mean I did play football and then I got
a concussion and my dad was like no more
I was like no more that’s it I’m tapping
out yeah namas what position well this
is funny I got a i i in Junior High um I
was a safety and I love playing I love
playing defense and then our kicker got
hurt yeah and uh the coach was like
Santino is athletic enough he kick you
just Ki just all you got to do is kick
it away and the kid snapped the ball
over my head like sevenet and I jumped
as high as I could and I used to be able
to hop we have pictures I can send you
guys of me Duncan in in uh in college
daddy used to be able to hop okay uh now
I have
sciatica he snapped the ball like seven
feet over my head and I remember looking
up being like as I jumped I remember
going [ __ ] like I knew it was way motion
so I ran back to grab the ball and I’m
looking over kind of out of my
peripheral like the coach is like kick
it kick it but I but I knew I couldn’t
kick on the run you know what I mean on
that turn run no way no way that’s so
hard and so then I just started
sprinting up the line and I was making
way and I see the first down and
then yeah then I and I woke up and my
dad was over me he’s like you got your
bell rum that’s what he kept saying you
got your bell R dude I was gone I was so
B and after that I was like no more
football you remember uh Sean Taylor in
the uh in the Pro Bowl game oh he rocked
that [ __ ] kicker on the fake field
goal dirty yeah the punter dude that’s
what this is taking me back to right now
oh dude the pain the pain was UN cuz it
blindsided me too cuz I’m running up the
side I don’t see this dude coming out of
this side I got smoked and it was helmet
to helmet back then in junior high
helmet the helmet they like cheered it
on they were like yeah yeah spear hear
him in the head with your head oh so I
stopped playing I stopped playing
football and then dude p o has a great
bit about that man who does uh pice
O’Neal rip I think he’s passed I’m not
sure Patrice Patrice O’Neal yeah yeah
yeah dude he has a good bit about how it
was just back in the day it was like
there wasn’t him get on the knee and
pray for him uh we were doing a tribal
dance around this man they were dancing
on top
of take socks I quit I quit football and
then Cubs and Jordan I grew up in the
Jordan era so basketball was number one
for me my whole life and then now I’ve
I’ve uh I’ve you know I still go Cubs
games uh Bulls Hawks if I can and Bears
um but yeah Cubs are number one for me
my dog’s name is Cubs is Cubby that’s
2015 man that’s I took my dad to the
World Series that was like the greatest
moment in my life I know dude I loved it
so much I took my dad to the World
Series and uh I was shooting I’m dying
up here we were shooting the was we’re
shooting this is I’ll tell it quickly
but we were shooting over Dodger Stadium
we were in Chavez Ravine and there was
like a kickout that’s like above the
stadium that looks down and we’re
shooting this scene where man this is
such a weird I was on the show I was mad
at my father for not being a good dad
and he gifted me a car and I and I
wanted to bash the car to Pieces because
I hated him so much and we were at night
we were shooting the scene where I was
bashing this car over Dodger Stadium
about my dad that I hated who did me
wrong but but I was trying to shoot the
scene as fast as I could cuz I had to
leave that night to get to the airport
for a 4 or 500 a.m. flight to Chicago to
make it to get to the World Series to
take my dad my dad yeah and uh so
[ __ ] cool got to the airport on time
I’m on the plane and the flight is
delayed and I’m having like a panic
attack like oh I’m going to miss the
World Series and I remember I was in The
Galley way and I called my dad and I was
like I think I’m going to miss the World
Series and I started just balling I was
and my old man was like it’s okay it’s
okay and I go you can take someone just
take someone to the game he’s like no
I’m not going to go without you just
sell the tickets just get on StubHub or
take master and sell the tickets Dude
tell me you made it and then dude and
then I hung up the phone and the flight
attendant was like I think we’re maybe
going to take off the next half an hour
praying to God we take off and I am like
please please please make thise please
pleas let me get an in not this is my
hand of God I landed and I jumped in a
cab and I threw the guy all the money I
had in my pocket and I said you please
get me to Wrigley Field as illegally as
you can and he was driving I’m driving
on the shoulder of the of the highway
like just on the shoulder we’re driving
and he was like if I get a ticket you’re
paying I’m like no I don’t care no doubt
and I get there and I met my dad in
front of reg we have a picture of it uh
as they were singing the National Anthem
he was waiting
outside yeah was the wild hear that
chicag all that [ __ ] you [ __ ] talking
about the shy Town kid not loving the
city you [ __ ] kidding me it was
amazing so I got to go and we still lost
that game but I had the I had I had such
a good time I um I got a similar not not
as [ __ ] cool is that that is awesome
wild but I did take uh I took I took Kel
to the World Series uh sat right behind
uh home play up there and Progressive
Field but as me and Jason know Jacob’s
field Jacob Field right yeah you don’t
call it that man I’m telling you those
moments though they’re the absolute best
I remember my dad throwing me on the the
rapid the rapid you get off right there
uh at the Gateway District man and you
just it’s like the the times have
changed like Dad would just go up and
get a [ __ ] nose bleed seat and we go
and see the Indians and then of course
I’m taking them to the [ __ ] world
series ever it’s a cool it’s such a it’s
it was such a big special thing to do
and I’m stoked that I was able to do it
it was just like uh it was it was
incredible I’ll I’ll never forget it
your dad’s a real one like just sell the
tickets I don’t even if it’s not you I
don’t want to go I loved him for that I
said just take I you know his buddy John
I was like just take John just take John
to the game he would he’ll appreciate
Harvey will like the game and he was
like no I’m not going without you just
sell the tickets and I literally was on
one of the ticket apps and I was
contemplating hitting sell now like I
was I held it open and I was like go
should I just sell these ticket I should
just sell them I’m never going to make
this and luckily she was like just sit
down I think we might be able to do it
in 30 minutes and I was like please God
and then by the way the whole flight I
was just I was just chugging whiskey
double
whiskies I was like please make it
please make
got to be prepped and ready enjoy
Wrigley oh how has that been seeing that
entire Community outside of Wrigley what
the R into that whole thing is is
bananas I mean it’s it’s like a commun
when I was a kid it was I mean it was
just like a it was just a little scumbag
Central for like party animal now it’s
like highend you can go get like a nice
meal before the game it used to be just
like a shitty McDonald’s and a bunch of
sports bars and now it’s like hotels and
and and restaurants and I mean it’s
beautiful though I mean they really did
make it make it look like a
an an event you know what I mean like
you can bring your full family there and
it’s it really is like a whole to-do you
can spend a whole day down there having
a good time especially Day games Day
games are Day games at Wrigley are the
best they didn’t start playing Night
games till [ __ ] yeah like like like
10 days ago yeah yeah we yeah we were
too cheap for lights yeah we we were too
broke to throw lights up that’s cool
though you know [ __ ] it this is how we
play baseball yeah in the Sun but
cooking in the sun and the and the
bleacher bums with their shirts off just
blacked out sunburnt it is like that is
wrigly personified beautiful beautiful
young women like young blonde women and
just blacked out dude shirts off fatted
out right next to them that’s a wriggly
iconic image now I’m sold I’ve always
been I’ve always been a die hard just
want to go to Every Stadium there is
every every sporting event there is
Wrigley’s been at the top of the list
for years so we got to do it dude sum we
got whenever you’re not touring we have
to at least go out to the bleachers I
know you want to sit like want you want
to sit like tra but we got to go out
there no when it comes to I want to be
in the [ __ ] we should go out there for a
minute yeah I want to be in the [ __ ] you
won’t last long but we should go out
there no no I promise you I blend like
the tree I blend in the trees I blend
with the best of them I bet just one is
that Travis caly just one of
those it’s Jonas valunas oh is valunas
oh is that’s what I thought it was yeah
my My Doppelganger is uh I keep getting
tagged with Spencer Turnbull that’s a
He’s a Philly He’s a Philly boy right
Spencer Turnbull a pict for the Phillies
is he a picture for the Phillies right
Spencer Turnbull yeah the name does ring
a bell dude you got to see this guy it’s
like people keep tagging me they’re like
you look exactly like this dude it’s
almost creepy dude when when valent
Tunis got drafted I immediately
definitely was just talking to this guy
in the right before you threw out the
first pitch full on 15 to 20 minute
conversation boy Jason I was like I
could have SW Warren I met this guy oh
my gosh people tag me people are like
this is you bro that’s so good right
away ridiculous he does I mean he is
very handsome I’ll say that so shout out
to Spencer turle yeah he’s a Philly now
he was in Detroit before and now he’s in
Philly speaking of like sitting in the
stands I love sitting in the stands as
well my Kylie and I one time this is
before Kylie got famous but in Philly
it’s always hard to go to the sporting
events but I I got a fullon like
disguise the like old like Mr Potato
Head
thees which only makes you stand out
Bo and for sure but people don’t know
they’re like who the who the hell is
that guy um just to sit in the Outfield
and it it it lasted about four Innings
but yeah either way best so we got to do
it can I come with you guys dud honestly
you are more than welcome my legendary
Cub pitcher Rick suck Liff yeah Suli
baby suck Liff has been telling me to
bring my ass out there for years now I
owe it to him he’s a Kansas City guy he
up in KC big Chiefs fan but he’s been
telling me I got to hit Wrigley with him
and what are we waiting for my guy dude
honestly I don’t know at this point this
it’s it’s going to happen now we’re
going we’re doing it you’ll see us
Wrigley you’ll see us we’ll be out there
baby let’s get to a little we got to ask
but you don’t have to answer okay great
that’s always a fun game Jason you want
to te up love it sure uh moving on to
our last segment we got to ask you don’t
have to answer this segment is sponsored
by Lazy Boy join the movement take a
moment on the most comfortable furniture
out there long live the right now all
right you talked about uh the time pat
drank 23 Kors lights during the course
of uh two of your standup shows he
stayed for not one but two he doubled
down because that’s how [ __ ] funny
Cheeto is all right were you surprised
he could drink like that oh my god well
first of all uh people that know Pat
know like he loves them cores baby let’s
get them get them that M water that them
mountains are blue I’m breaking at the
first show I had the the wild thing was
we that was in at in Dallas at the add
improp and the wild thing was um during
the first show I just assumed they were
going to have a drink or two watch the
show and then leave I was like they got
to somewhere to be yeah and when they
told me he drank them out of Kors lights
I for real thought they were joking but
the club was like no we actually have to
go buy more we just we ran out of Kors
lights and it was like you know I was
like that’s not even a real thing and
they were like no I mean obviously
people in the room were drinking them
but they were like your party drank a
fair amount of Co lights and and second
show came around I thought well he’s
only probably only going to have a few
we’re not going to like you know what I
mean like he’ll probably have a few cuz
then then he’ll want to go but no he
smoked of whatever they gave him there
he just bashed all of those easy then we
went out and he was like let’s go to
this me this Mexican restaurant and get
food and hang out and we did and then he
smashed another probably dozen and then
he’s like who was at the club maybe he
wanted to go to the club to go see
somebody maybe it was Dez or something I
don’t even remember who it was and he
was like yeah let’s go uh meet them at
the club then there was another like
dozen Co this dude I was like I see why
you’re sponsored dude dude surprisingly
coherent the entire time oh yeah dude
he’s functional he he can there’s no
like there’s no like oh Pat Pat’s gone
no he was he was smashing through them
cores dude those those silver bullets
were going down easy baby was a little
surprised at first then I got used to it
all right when when Rob melan uh came on
the show we talked about the time the
two of you made fun of Travis wearing a
Rolex on the golf course uh do you
remember this oh [ __ ] dude on the uh
remember when I brought I all gold rolex
yeah an all gold rolex to come play golf
I just got it I didn’t know where to put
it I didn’t want to thr golf bag I just
I was ripping it with it on did you get
he just W those out one of those claw
machines I was like where did you get
that from dude is
that why are you wearing that on the
golf course it was so shiny but I’ll
tell you a good embarrassing story about
Rob melany he won’t like this at all we
were playing on uh Trav had just You’
either just played with us or we were
just about to play with you and we were
doing a round and um we were on a little
par three Mack put one like over the
fence into the river uh and he took his
Club I want to say it’s like a wedge and
there’s bushes but there’s also a a one
of those cross link fences behind the
bush yeah he threw it so hard it went
through that fence through the bushes
and and the LA River sits below it and
it’s all concrete most of the time it’s
not no water in it you could
hear you heard his club bounce off of
the
conrete and me and the two dudes were
playing with silence I didn’t say a word
I was like oh dude I’m not I’m not going
to talk to him for the rest of the day
and he goes and now when I tell that
story I’m like dude you know Mac threw a
club one time through the fence and he’s
like I don’t do that I don’t do that
anymore that’s not something I do
anymore I was like okay man but you did
you did it once yeah you did it once it
yeah he you send the ball into the into
the river again yeah he sent the ball
and the club into the river yeah but
Trav when he came out wearing a big a
big shiny Rolex I was like how are you
going to swing with this thing on and we
kept making fun of him the whole time
but you know he stayed his course he was
I mean once it was on I you got to eat
it yeah you have to again that’s
playground rules they take you take it
off no you can’t take it off that’s more
embarrassing yeah a dream forsome okay
golfers and non-golfer that’s tough yeah
tiger for sure 100% Jordan Jord cuz I
know he’s a big golf dog um God I’m
trying to think of non-golfers too
because like my brain just goes
automatically to Golfers
tiger Jordan Kim
[Laughter]
Jong-un dude most most hle in one in
history I’ve heard he’s so nasty he’s
the best how could I not yeah hle in one
again Mr O this a par five yeah Larry
and probably Larry Larry would be Larry
would definitely be up there I would say
let’s let’s throw him in the but there’s
so it’s like that’s what’s tough is
there’s so many dudes that I would kill
to play with but tiger for sure and MJ I
would love to play just those two cats
alone cuz I mean you get those two on
the golf course the I just want to see
the competition I know that’s all I want
to it has to be they’ve had to have
played together and it was just the most
epic round of all time yeah absolutely
yeah tiger uh tiger and MJ whenever you
guys want to play give me a call you’ve
been on a ton of TV shows what uh which
one specifically do people most
recognize you on I mean Dave is probably
because it’s the most recent Dave people
see me the most on or you know when we
were shooting the show so I think that
one a lot I’ll get like uh I did my
first sitcom that failed was called
Mixology it’s weird sometimes I’ll get
like an aunt you know like your aunt
your aunt Janine you know when I’m out
it’ll be like where you want a show
called mallad I’ll get that sometimes
which is wild lasted one season on ABC
and got crushed um but I did uh I’ve
done so many like small little bit rolls
too rest of development no one really I
that snuck on that I did um curb and I
so people will see me from that
sometimes CU that was a couple years ago
which was like one of the best
experiences of my entire life so dope it
was wild and uh but mostly Dave like
almost always Dave now because it was
such a big show on FX for a hot minute
and hopefully Ricky St Nikki will be
what more more and more people see [ __ ]
yeah and then who knows what’s next I
mean I I have a new show that we’re
working on now for me so fingers crossed
all about whiskey baby that’s all about
whiskey baby and and we need and we need
a big bearded uh big bearded guy uh in
the barrel room so Jason if you’re
available I mean yeah I’m free okay yeah
are you are you busy are you working I’m
jobless actually currently I officially
don’t have a job well let’s employ you
man I think is I would love to employ
you all right perfect well uh Wikipedia
has uh has a list of uh Myriad of
reasons um Myriad of things that have on
there as you’re known as Slugger
Santino the red rocket that he is avoid
time out I got to bring this up orange
he’s avoiding a word that’s on this
rundown cuz he doesn’t but I used
another good word you did you you you
navigated it well wa word let me see can
I see what the word is hold on let me
see I think it’s hold on hold on hold on
where are we looking Wikipedia has an
official list of your pseudonyms ah
right
pseudonyms silent peas always get me the
silent peas if it’s a PS it’s that’s
tough yeah ps’s are tough but I I
usec is that’s a good like this is I
don’t blame this is what we don’t blame
Travis for this this is this is the
whoever wrote that name that word in
there how dare you you can’t say you’re
not proud of me but he said Myriad
Myriad was good that that he was right
you have a litany you could say litany a
l ly of another one litany you did use
some big words there you nailed that my
pseudonyms on Wiki yeah the Slugger
Santina you know that came from um when
I was a a young lad in Chicago I we grew
up in downtown Chicago my mom and I when
she was still a single mother and I
would fight a lot I like to fight often
yeah it was like one of my favorite
things oh hell yeah I was kicked out of
a few different places for fighting I
think I got kicked out of preschool for
fighting which is bananas but they
called me slug yeah and then I went to
Moody Bible uh which people know and
they asked me to leave politely they
asked because of my my mom was like
kicking him out they’re like we’re
asking him to no longer attend nobody
wants very non-catholic of him to punch
everyone in the face that he doesn’t
like so they called so they G yeah
Slugger Santino was born from that and
the red rocket was a natural that was a
great play on a a dog’s penis nickname
for me because I’m the red rocket I’m a
b red rocket what’s the other one agent
agent orange agent orange is not me I’d
never heard of that but I like that I’ll
take it that’s a good one I’ll take that
I like agent orange uh Cheeto dust uh
cultivator yeah I think that’s just
someone playing with Cheeto Santino yeah
I think that one I think that a
rendition of it the last of the great
gingers Joe Rogan said that one time on
his podcast and that stuck I think Joe
introduced me on his podcast as the last
of the great Gingers and nice and that
kind of made its way somehow on
Wikipedia it’s so funny it’s like
someone said something once like seven
years ago and then it landed out of
those ones right there we just listed I
think agent orange is I should start
going by that I think that’s amazing I
mean that’s like that’s like my men in
black code and you know what you know on
Men In Black they make you look into
that pen but they just have to look into
my hair I just star down it’s like
Medusa man especially me in the winter
dude this is look at this dude ghostly
you know what I mean I can’t wait for
summertime to get burnt yeah I just get
a little just one more shade of orange
that’s all I get I get a little I turn
into burnt orange sounds like a uh
Mountain Dew like agent orange I feel
they did have code red code red was I
mean it still is a thing at Taco Bell
code red could be me but agent orange
sounds good yeah I do like it I mean the
history of it is not good but I’ll take
the we’ll take the current word
play so the history is not so good but
whatever are just a little different
whatever man we still drink Irish car
bombs and that’s not cool you know what
I mean I I still
[ __ ] that’s not a cool that’s not
like a happy piece of history but we’re
fine with that all right I’m not sure
you saw this but I talked about losing
uh my Super Bowl ring uh last week in a
pool of Chile on our last episode yeah
zero like he
has what is it remorse like he doesn’t
give a [ __ ] that he just lost the Super
Bowl R yeah why because they’ll just get
you another one I care I care it’s not
like I’m like happy I lost it but I’m
not like how do you lose I mean that
seems such a hard thing to lose care
well you don’t lose it somebody steals
it we have some videotape we have some
video evidence we have what’s the most
expensive thing that I’ve lost or
sentimental thing that I’ve lost cuz
that’s that that’s that thing’s probably
got to be more sentimental of a loss for
you right than like pricey yeah for sure
yeah the I mean it’s expensive too but
it’s definitely the sentimental nature
of it which sucks um what’s the most
what’s like the most expensive thing
I’ve ever like lost I mean you know what
this is not this has this is not price
but it’s funny you say that that red
rocket was a nickname I did for like a
tour and we had an artist draw this
great piece of art and they made me like
a custom red rocket hat and I love that
hat it had two RS on it and I was racing
out of my Uber
to the airport and I left that in the
Uber and as I closed the door and I
watched it drive away I was going to
miss my flight and I was like should I
call this dude to turn around and I like
slowly was like goodbye sweeth hat it
killed me cuz it was like one of one it
was the only one and I was bummed and
that’s so whoever got in that Uber got
my red rocket hat broke my heart it was
a bummer cuz it was like I love that hat
man it was a one of one and it was a
cool gift from my buddy so that that
sucked and that was like only a couple
months ago but in the history of like
losing stuff I don’t there’s nothing
that I’ve like uh the amount of times
I’ve left airpods somewhere is comical
sure I’ve gifted the world seven airpod
uh oh my god dude I’ve left them so many
places or they fall out of my pocket my
car key is down there it’s not even in
my Pock this fell out of my pocket that
mine mine definitely did that’s me it
happens all the time the company’s
genius yeah dude I have an extra pair of
brand new airpods at my house right now
just in just because I know I’m going to
lose it well I learned this I I I lost
my airpod in a seat of the airplane and
uh the guy was like we can try to get it
for you I got off off of the plane I
waited they’re like picking apart the
seat the technician was picking it apart
and then he goes I see it right there
and I was like oh [ __ ] awesome and I go
can you get it he goes no no chance I
was like oh okay why do we why did we
wait what was the point of waiting but
you know I don’t know if you know this
tip for every bu if you lose one airpod
you can order a single airpod you don’t
have to buy yes I swear I went to the
Apple Store I asked him he’s like no we
can do a single order for one because
this happened so much cuz I assumed I
just needed to buy a new but he was like
no no no you can get a singular airpod
so I went to the Apple Store so shout
out to Apple for that that was huge how
much would do you remember how much the
single one was don’t shout out Apple for
anything these [ __ ] invented the
most
Lo dud you’re the worst you’re the
absolute worst un of check they have
phones they could have unbreakable
phones they could use glass that doesn’t
break but they purposely
put okay I’ll I’ve never put a case on
my phone Jason does the same thing and
I’ve never broken them yeah I’m not a
case guy I I’ve broken it I’ve broken at
least over 20 times well this is come
from the guy that lost his Super Bowl
ring so this makes sense I think this
makes I just want you to know you’re
plugging apple right now yeah you’re
pluging real hard real hard I might go
to Apple and get a new phone now I won’t
leave it though I won’t I I’m not gonna
leave him all right Tito you’re one of
the most famous gingers out there can
you do a Mount
Rushmore of famous gingers for us oh
interesting put yourself on there shout
out to uh George Washington the original
Ginger uh people don’t know that George
Washington he had what my friend my
friend my friend you are remembering Mr
Washington in a wig yes he the wig was
not his hair that was a wig he was
wearing um oh look it’s George he was a
redhead you can look it up George
Washington was actually a red head is
there photo evidence of this I I don’t
know how many photographs were being
snapped of
GW but uh you can read up on it I’m sure
yeah I think you can I think you can
read some literature about
it I would say who else makes the Mount
Rushmore of uh of Ginger Le I mean I I
probably put Ronnie Howard up there Opie
Taylor because I got called that a lot
when I was a kid the first school I went
to in
Chicago um all of the black kids call me
Opie
and I hated it because I didn’t
understand what it even meant but then I
thought oh that kid was cute from uh
Andy Griffith Show that’s nobody on this
and nobody’s listening to the show knows
who what that is unless you watch Nick
and night yeah that’s right just right
baby that’s my dad’s favorite show my
sister’s over there she can attest my
dad has watched more Andy Griffith
episodes right than anything on Earth
it’s
disgusting it’s absurd so I would say
let’s give Ronnie Howard a shout out
George Washington’s on there I don’t
know do you guys have any favorite
gingers you like it’s pretty that’s I
mean we got a list of them oh let me see
does Canelo Alvarez count yeah Canelo I
get called I’m I’m the yeah Canelo I get
called Canelo sometimes uh Prince Harry
he’s in limbo with me right now no I’m
kidding
I oh yeah Andy Dalton shout out to Andy
Dalton dude he won me a free car man did
he really yeah he threw the ball to me
for a 15 yard touchdown and the game was
so ass at the Pro Bowl that year that it
won me a free car what kind of car was
it it was a Genesis and who has that uh
I still have it you do dude yeah Kumar
Kumar’s out here sliding around it’s a
company car uh yeah Bill Burr’s got to
be up there 100% and let’s give the
other one to uh let’s say I’ll say
Lindsay Lohan for sure the nice
theg give it her the lady Ginger love
yeah she’s making her she’s making her
second round in the biz she’s coming
back right she’s making like another pop
in a big way yeah I think I saw her uh
she did a uh an Irish movie actually not
too long ago I think but my wife likes
Hallmark movies she did one of those and
she liked it loves Hallmark movies man
loves that yeah are you a Hallmark guy
tra I um you know I dabble now yeah you
do I dabble now well you like the cards
so you might as well like the
movies big fan of the cards huge fan of
well it’s Kansas City based company so
is it really Hallmark yeah shout out I
don’t I’m throwing that out there I
think it is though a piece of me thinks
that’s not true at all is it I know they
are okay I’ve been there for [ __ ] 11
years
all maybe there but I know it’s big love
love their cards nice uh We’ve mentioned
on the show that uh conspiracy theories
help bring NFL locker rooms together
where are your what are your conspiracy
theories you got for stand up yeah no
just period you got any
conspiracies oh my conspiracy theories
oh my God they bring they bring NFL
locker rooms together really like a like
a like Kyrie Flat Earth yeah yeah well
he’s not the only one that thinks that
but he’s probably the most how many what
percentage of the NFL
Earth you think dude honestly there’s at
least 10 guys guys every locker room I
would have imagine that are hardcore
Flat Earth I think if you took a truly
Anonymous poll like nobody had to
disclose her name or anything like that
I think you’re you’re over 15% of an NFL
lock room it’s crazy dude what I’m
telling you that’s insane dude everyone
gets hit in the head it’s it’s unbeli
yeah that’s true that’s true Cheeto I
was telling this to his position coach
about you know what percentage of guys
and the position coach there’s nobody on
the team that actually thinks that
Within earshot of this conversation one
of the guys said I mean how do you know
it’s
not yeah man right on and you got to let
them fly with that you know what are the
other conspiracy theories I believe in I
mean I it’s an endless list I mean which
one I mean they’re all Real and True uh
the NFL is rigged that one’s really good
that one I love that’s a good one I’ve
seen the scripts you’ve sent me one
script I got one script yeah it was
pretty good well it was the game you
were coming to I wanted to make sure you
knew what the script was yeah because I
I was like I’m going to have to leave
early and he Travis printed out like
like old uh like old map quest
directions he printed out exactly what I
needed to stay for well it’s because we
had the he came to the Broncos game last
year in Denver the game we lost and we
had to lose a few more for it to really
look unexpected that we were going to
win I even said to him I said I’m
bringing my wife’s family to the Broncos
game can you take an L this is the first
time my wife’s parents have ever sat in
a suite yeah let me call G so he called
everyone up and said if they would take
an L everybody was in they were like
yeah if you lose to the Broncos and if
you notice guys if you rewind the
footage Travis when the game is over
points up to my suite and just does a
little wink and walks off the field that
one was a bummer I did not want to
bother you after the game was over I was
like I will not be calling Travis I will
not I will not I didn’t even want to
call you I’m like God damn it I got him
tickets to this [ __ ] trash ass game
no bro it was such a good game well my
wife’s parents had never or my wife’s
Dad too was so you know like he had
never been in a suite at Mile High and
he walked in the room
and he was like Wow and I go isn’t this
awesome and and he turns to his left and
he goes so much
food I was like whatever you want man
you can have anything you want I think
if you if you clean that out they
actually bring another they’ll bring
more
bro it was awesome yeah we had a great
time [ __ ] yeah before we wrap up Andrew
uh floor’s yours is there anything you
want to ask us or say before we uh you
know I love you both and I appreciate
you both and I’m happy that new Heights
is New Heights it’s because uh we sat in
my house and your penis fell out a
couple years ago and now you’re in the
podcast game and I’m happy for it and I
wish you were here Jay but next time
we’ll do it again next time um but
that’s it I got I got nothing else come
see me on the road go to uh Andrew
san.com for the tickets and watch bad
friends and whiskey Ginger and I’ll see
you boys next time you know it the
absolute best ladies and gentlemen
awesome appreciate you coming on brother
apprciate you bro wrap this thing up
Jason all right thank thank you to
Andrew Santino for coming on the show
this wraps up another episode of new
heights make sure you subscribe to the
new heights Channel on YouTube so you
know when all the new episodes are
coming out we’ll be back next week to
talk about the NFL draft and whatever
else we feel like talking about uh
listen subscribe we we get your podcast
all right now all right now once again
the new heights presented by wave sports
and entertainment and brought to you by
Buffalo Wild Wings let’s go sports
bar Pros Pro right here Jason’s little
late God damn it uh follow the show on
all social media at new he show [ __ ]
hate for fun Clips throughout the week
thank you to our production crew thank
you to the 92ers we love you guys and
thank you to Cheeto Santino for bringing
the Jews baby we love you thank you
thank you boys
peace
hey
hey hey
23 Comments
Poor Jason, that dang delay got him. That delay on the sports bar clap had me rolling. I reWatched it like four or five times.😂
I'd like to know which of Taylor's songs that Travis and Jason likes.
Tour bus talk is real asf
Jason okay? So quiet this episode
I feel bad for Jason on these guest episodes. It feels like he’s so disconnected from the conversation cause he’s on a delay.
good man santino
Please get Bobby Lee on
Is Travis doing alright?? The shit makes dude look like he has cancer, he’s so skinny!
41:17
Shout out East LA/Boyle Heights 🎉
Nosotros papaya
Jason needs to go on the masked singer
Dream Pod scenario for hug Eagles and bad friends fan only missing Bobby Lee
Kevin Hart could get a yard!
Diggin your podcast, thanks for bringing us a new way to love football, competitions. sports, serious. and pop music.
Brothers are the best…💙
Too much chopping and cutting
Only country that eats its coat of arms lol 😂
Bad friends and nfl fan here, love to see it!
“What did he say”
Shout out to Boyle 😅
Andrew !!!
Hey Travis, I don’t know if you saw this but the Arizona Coyotes are moving to Salt Lake City, they’re doing a bracket to determine the new teams names, One of those choices is the “Yeti’s”, I think you need to make this happen!
Wish Bobby was with him lol