GOLF WITH SLITS – Dan and Phil Play: Golf With Friends #9

It’s time to cross sticks as we tackle the castle course. Listen to our background music on Spotify!! https://open.spotify.com/user/31ucfx7h5yerwxtlcbm5ekaclo2y?si=4cd38fe856414368 We hope you enjoy the DanAndPhilBEATS gaming vibes while going about your day imagining us yapping. (should be available on all your fave streaming platforms)

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DAN
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PHIL
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Edited with Kris Edrosa

Music courtesy of US wow omg. Thanks to the producer Ben, Lowave, and the art by @queenusagi

– Hello, DanAndPhilGames slits and welcome. – Look at us. – Back! – And nothing’s changed. There’s nothing interesting. Stop trying to-, what are you trying to do? Bump slits? You’re trying to bump slits? – Do a slit bump. Dan’s is much wider than mine and mine’s nearly grown back in again, actually.

– Oh my God. End me. – If you missed the charity stream, – End me. Dan agreed to get a slit after he did We’re All Doomed and it was finally broadcast to the world. Can I get a slit in the chat? – No! What does that mean? – Slit. Slit. Slit. Shut up. – Oh! (Phil laughs) And it looks- Wide. – Great! – Okay. – I think it suits you. – Yeah? What do you think the energy it gives me? – I think it makes you a bit intimidating. Like if I saw you in a corner shop, I’d be like,

‘ooh, he’s after the butterscotch’. – Right. – Yep. That’s that. – And Terrance. – And what will make me happier after all of this hard work than playing Golf with my Friends. – You love golf. – It’s my favourite series. – Yes. But before we get our sticks out, have you heard what is going on in the background?

– What is, what is this pleasant jingle. – Look at this. I mean, listen to this. – You may have always thought, Dan and Phil, your choice of background music; It’s so sexy. It’s so cool. Well, guess what? – We’ve leveled it up! – We have commissioned an entire original soundtrack to DanAndPhilGames.

– Yes! – That is right. We have made a whole ass- Why-, we need to come up with a thesaurus that isn’t ‘whole ass’. – Whole ass. We’ve made a- – We’ve made an entire-, – A large ass. – We’ve made a big selection of original synth wave, high octane, friendship gaming tracks.

And we were like, this is gonna be good. – Yeah. – Finally, it’ll be our music on our channel. We worked with an amazing music producer called Ben to put all this stuff together and we were like, Yes. This is the vibe. – This the vibe. – This is the vibe.

And then we put it out on Spotify. – It’s the perfect vibe. – For what kind of activities? – Just have it in the background. – Gaming, laundry. – Cooking. – Slit-, bumping slits. – On your favorite streaming services, we have made an account called DanAndPhilBeats. – Which, it’s official. It’s ours. – We are now Dan and Phil Beats. – We have loaded the soundtrack to it. – We could do club nights. – No. Okay, calm down. – In Vegas. – Calm down. Calm down quite a lot. We have put a Spotify link down in the description. So if you were ever thinking,

Dan, that’s a catch little thing’ while these two are yapping in the background. – Yeah. – You can listen to it in your leisure. Go listen to it right now. – It’s perfect for background listening. – There’s some beautiful art. Thanks to Asaggy.

Look at us, Dan and Phil on a vapor wave highway. Making it towards the neon city with a tops only bar, It would seem, okay. Hashtag PRESAVEDANANDPHILONSPOTIFY – Yes. – So, whatever. Enjoy. Enjoy the jingles. Right, here’s your hat. How the fuck do you wear these things? Like, I actually don’t know. I’m gonna Google right now. How to wear a golf visor. – Oh, you put it on your head. – Yeah, you bonce. Where? – What do you mean, ‘where’? You wanna be able to see your eyes.

– Well that’s what I’m saying. Is it like, are you supposed to be like- – I think, I think so. – Is it PPE? – But no, we need to be able to see our faces. But then you get a little mushroomy-. – That’s the issue. How does one deal with a mushroom?

– You gotta do a tuck. – Got a wide slit and now I’ve got a, a, a meaty top. – Stop! – Okay. – That’s good. – No, it’s not. Gaming! – We’re ready! – The lights are wrong. It’s like we’ve got a green and red lamp here. – Oh yeah, switch it round. Red to the left of me. Green to the right. Here I am golfing with Dan and Phil. – We have just paid for what looks like, clearly,

The Shrek level. – I mean, that’s important. – So we are gonna do that. Phol. There you go. – Phol again. Let me have a good ball this time. – What color’s my hat? Green. – You’re green – And, okay. You could put a floppy pigeon on it.

– Do you want a floppy pigeon on it? – A cupcake that is bigger than the ball. – These are all the things that we’ve won. – Triceratops. Lovely. – What you gonna get? – I mean, that’s how I feel. – I feel like this has you energy, for some reason.

– Right now, I’m a slouch. Fuck yeah. – You’re a slouch. – Yeah. Okay. Oh I’m gonna have a red trail for contrast. – Sexy. Yes. – And my floaty shall be a rowboat. There you go. That looks like a whole thing.

What the fuck is this thing game? You know what I mean? – That is beautiful. (laughs) – Red. – Yeah. – And then I’m feeling- – That’s you, dunce. Oh my god, no. Don’t do the whole thing with a floppy pigeon. – I need it! I need the floppy pigeon.

– For fuck’s sake. – To represent Steve. And then balloons, because it was my birthday. – Sure. What a disaster. – A while ago. – It was your birthday a month ago. I told you. Every time Phil has a birthday, it’s like a royal tour. – We’re on the cusp.

– He’s like, ‘friend I haven’t seen, let’s go out for a birthday meal’. Phil, it’s March. – Look, as long as it’s cold outside, it’s still my birthday. Goose. Double ducking it. – Ah, right. Phil’s on quack. Collision disabled. Imagine if we added collision. Oh my God, the chaos. – I think we should be able to collide. – Really? – That’s what happens in real mini golf. – Fucking hell. There we go. Right. – Oh, a beautiful land full of hopes- – Look at this. – And mystery.

– Oh, it’s me first. – Phol, it’s your turn. Look, you’re a fucking pigeon. – Woo! – Oh, that pi-, this pigeon for sake. – Oh my God. Oh my God. Yes! Eat that. – What the f-? – Eat my pigeon. – I wanna speak to the manager of Candyland.

– Oh, you could go on the river. Maybe you should go that way. – I don’t think so. – Have a dunk. Come on. – Ohh. The cork hat’s going up. Don’t do this to me. – Edge it. Oh. – Oooooh! Bonk. Oh, yeah.

– That made me dizzy. That was too much camera work. – Ohh. – Michael Bay. – Rainbow over the castle. What is that made of? Balloons, plasticine? I don’t know. – It’s the gay castle where prince gay lives. – Okay. – Because there’s a little slit here that I could go through.

– That’s not a-, okay. – And then I think I could avoid this whole whirly gig anyway. – Go on, then. – Come on. – Ohh. Is he gonna get total wiped out? – Yes. Yes! – What the fuck? – That’s what I need to happen.

– Are you fucking joking? You didn’t mean that. Those balloons are so distracting. – Yes! – Sorry. – It begins. I just need to slunk this gently now. – Oh, that was perfect. – I wouldn’t say that was gentle. Someone put this pigeon back in the bird cage. – Right. Here we go. Oh, zoom him all around again. – Lovely. Taking my time.

– He’s taking his time with golf. – Fuck. – Many shots. And he’s missed the par. – Right. Get out the way. Oh yes. The curse is taking hold. – Oh, what. – Inflatables? Lovely. – Busy? No. – Wait, is that, that’s the hole there. – Yeah.

– I’m guessing that’s just a wall. – Yes, I think so. – Right. Ooh, what’s going on here? Oh, Phil’s allergic to greatness. – Got too excited. – Oh, choke harder. – It’s one of those digits. They’re all holding hands under ground. If I time this right,

I can smash all the way past the diglets. – Yeah, go on, do it. – Come on. Come on. Baby. – You crazy weirdo. – No! – Right. In the hole. Fuck off. Are you joking? In the hole. Fuck off. – I feel like that amount, three inches.

– Phil only needs three inches. – Yes! I got it. – It’s on par. Won’t do the job. – That was par. – Right. – Three inches which way? – What the fuck does that mean? – You were saying it wouldn’t do the job. – What the hell are you saying?

– I don’t know! – I’m feeling this locale. – I’ve got a strap. – That was not a strap. Not that. Do you think that hand is a bit of a red herring? It’s like in here. – No, I think it’s the entire herring. – It’s in here. – Up the ramp. Woo!

Okay, that was a lot less rampy than I thought it would be. Oh, it’s not over. – Oh, hello. – Look at this. – Damn. We should use a different song from our album for each hole. – We should. – You’ll get a little taster. – Are you enjoying this one? – Yeah.

– Right. I guess I am also just following you now. – Yeah. YouNow, remember that? – Okay. Oh, another suggestive finger. That’s what she said. – There she is. I’m gonna wait for the pipes to switch off and then zont it all the way. – The pipes. – Go on!

– That’s a fan. – Yes. More! This is the endless hole. – This level needs to shut up. – Calm down! – This level is yapping. – Maybe the pipes would’ve been helpful. Oh, oh. Ahh. – I almost did something amazing. – Are you still in the game? No. – And yet.

– Fuck. Hands off my duck. – I think that’s a pigeon. – I think it’s a duck. – What makes you think that’s a duck? – Oh, it’s a pigeon. Alright. – What the duck? – Whoop. I can’t even see what is happening. – Oh, dear. – Oh, there it goes.

– Don’t start. Oh yeah. Straight down. – Smooth. – Oh, right on the ridge. – Straight up the ramp at the side. – I’m lining it. I’m lining it up. – He’s lining it. Optimum out. Fuck. That was not even close to being good. – So you have to launch it then.

– Maximum speed. – Woo! – Oh, weak little ball. – What? – Look at you go there, you shit pigeon. – Woo! Fuck. Okay. Right somewhere in the middle there. – I thought I’d done maximum velocity myself there. You’ve gone all the way to Narnia. Right. Here we go.

Oh, no! No. No. Take it back! – Gold clap, everybody. – I take it back. Uh! – No rewinds here. Oh, get a fricking frack. – Who wants to get inside the VHS player now? – What? – No rewinds. – I’m not following your analogy from 30 seconds ago. – Full.

– You just watched me overshooting. What are you doing? – I don’t know what’s happening to me. – Phil’s gong giddy. He’s too excited by the music and his little hat. – Oh, that was, that was, that was beautiful. – Oh, straight in the sink. – That that was so good.

– Eight strokes. That’s all Dan takes. – About there, I think. – I love that you didn’t line it up with the hole at all. – No, I did. I wanted to give my duck a little experience. – All right. Ooh, I’m catching. – Philly’s still leading it though. – What the hell?

Right. Well, there’s only one way to do this right. – I bet if God is real, it’ll look something like this. You know what I mean? – Oh! If God is real, it will look like that? Just like a big DNA strand. – Well, people think it’s just like a dude.

But I think it’s gonna be like that. – You think it’s gonna look like Attack on Titan ancient amoeba vibe. – Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ah. We love it. – Oh my God. You’re in a perfectly straight line. – That was so straight. That was nothing like me. – Ooh! Oh! – Scooted.

– Come on. – Seems eager. – Oh, excuse-. We collided! Oh my God. It begins. – I sent you off on a mission. – It begins. Oh, we are not dealing with this shit. – He’s gone to Asda. Oh no. This is gonna send me over the edge.

– Oh, you did a little hop, there. Points for effort, little eagle. Into the mix. Oh, come on. – Ha ha ha ha. – My bird’s causing too much momentum. This one. – Oh dear! – Kiss. – Oh dear! Oh! – Fuck! No, no! – Oh, this is how it ends. – Sad!

– It ends two inches from the hole. – I’ve still got a bogey. – You didn’t even get it in. – Oh, I’m one behind now. – G. – I don’t think that was a G. – No, that was not a G. I’m going in. No!

– Oh, he went in and then he went back. – I went in and and out. – Great one. – I just can’t stop thinking about that video of that giant seal. – Oh fuck! – You really need to get in. – God, that slit is not wide.

– That’s my slit. That’s the really small one. – What was the logic there? You just sent yourself back to where you came from. – I need to get used to the power. I’m not used to my own- – Oh, you’ve only done this for 28 hours.

– I’m not used to my own strength. – Oh, gentille. Oh, yeah. If you fucking touch me, I swear to God I will break your toes in real life. – I’m gonna go straight into your hat and send it into the moon. – Stay away. – Perfectly lined up.

– To you shitting balloons out of your butt. – I am ready to put this whole. Ah, got it back. – Double. Imagine. – I got it back. Only two to pick up now. – It’s just such a wide slit. – Someone was saying you should get a piercing

Either side of the slit to like really accentuate it. – A slit frame? – Yeah. – Frame my slit? – A framed slit. – Eye brassle. Oh. I mean. – This is eager. This is like pop, pop, pop. Oh, he’s done it. – Ooh, okay, okay, okay, okay. Jazzy print.

It’s like a nineties bus in London. – Yep. Yep. – Well actually. – Oh no! – I didn’t full sail it. – Oh, I’m sailing. I’m sailing. – Oh shit. He’s supposed to be in the water. – I can jump. – Oh, now he’s on a fucking lazy river. What the fuck?

– Yes! There we go. – I thought you’d die when you go in the water. Shit! – No, I took a whole scenic route. – Oh, what about this? Oh shit. – Oh my God. You’re in the river. – Well. – It’s a double hole. It’s a double ender. – Ooh.

– You can either go to the top end or the bottom end. – I think I can arrange this. Come on! – Get the fuck out. – Ooh! – Shut up. – Yes! Ca-caw. – Right. No way am I gonna be able to do this. Fuck! That was so weak. – Dan is sailing. He is sailing. Oh no. Right on that corner. That’s not-

– Shut the front door. – Okay. – No! I’m going back to the previous hole. God dammit. – Six strokes. Does that mean recall again? – No. – Oh, I’m into lead! – Shit. – Yes! That is a headache and a half. – This is stressing me out. – I’m nervous of it.

– What ya gonna do? Quit? – I think I’m gonna leave. – Cry to your golf mum? – That’s gonna send it off though, so I should do it here. – Oh, he’s calibrating. The brain cells are twitching. Oh. – Don’t touch. Don’t touch, don’t touch. – Woo! – No!

– That is actually maybe better. – I get it. I get it. – Right. That like barely nudged. – It didn’t do much of a nudge, to be honest. No. – Oh, come on. I needed that. Well, those trees look like, um- – Uh, ice creams? – Ice creams – Calibrate.

Okay. Not, not that one. Gentle energy. – Alexa, who is the opposite of gentle energy? Fuck my fucking brick prick. – That was zero energy. Whoop. – Oh! – Right on the line. – Wee! Get in the corner. – This is such a troll level. – Get in the corner, you wally.

– No. – Come on. – Oh. Oh. You are on the moat edge. – Stay the fuck away. Okay. Thank you. – Yeet. – Oh God. – Hand off. Boop. Oh, okay. – Dan! Damn you! – Muah, ha, ha, ha. Go on then, my son. – Piss! – Perfect intensity.

– That’s it. That’s it. That’s it. Yes! Six strokes. I’m alright. We’re the same. Like with me, has your slit now given you kind of an empowerment to get a tattoo or something else? – Have you been empowered to get a tattoo by your slit? – I was a bit. I was like,

Oh, I’ve changed something about my body. What else could I do? – And what were you gonna get, Phil? – I’m not telling you. Google. Is it bad that’s the first thing I think of when I see a G? Gay! – Yeah. I went for My Chemical Romance. – I’m going.

Look at these whoopy cushions. – Is he thinking about the pattern? – I am. Up, up, up. Oh, I would’ve got it if I wasn’t so- Oh no, I’m on the boat. – Alas. – Get whacked. – You freaky little- – Oh my God. No! I’m gonna give you that. – I believe in you, Phil. You’ve got this. – Yes! Come on. Sail it in. – Oh! – It’s gonna be a hole in three. – The pidge missed by a smidge. – The pidge is wiggling too much.

There you go. No! – Oh God. – Oh, I hate this little teasing edge bit. – He cannot get it in. He is right by entrance, but he can’t find it. – That was painful for me. – Oh, Phil. How do you feel? – Oh my God. – What is that?

– That has been inflated. – Sonic! – Oh, stop you with Sonic. – Is that you? What did they do to him? My boy! – So I can either go left or right according to the hands of justice. I’m gonna go left. – Okay. – Oh! – Well, I’m actually mad

Because now you’ll be able to copy my strategy, which is to obviously go in a straight line through this slit. – What’s this? – I am on the fucking hot air balloon. – What? I didn’t know you could do that. – What? – It killed you. Oh, trap door hatch.

– So if I did that again, but just less. – I don’t know what it was meant to do. – I’m in the water now. Blob. I’m vibing. – I think you- – What! Why is that there? – I don’t know. Past the diglets. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, wiggle it. Come on!

– Oh. – Nearly the final wiggle. It’s broken. I don’t think it works. Yeah. – Oh, shit. Okay. – Double bogey. – Right. Well, I’m absolutely boned now. Mr. Bone. – Down the hatch. Did you ever go to soft play as a kid? And you just throw yourself down

One of these bouncy castles at full velocity and not even break a bone. And then you’d make a friend and then you’d never see them again for the rest of your life. – Hey Clive, who I spend the afternoon with. – Yeah. – What happened to him? – How’s Clive doing?

– Triple murder? Seven. Not bad. Considering how diabolical it started. – I’ve only got one measly point to get back. – This is a good song. – Do you know what? – I wish I could stream this on Spotify. – Wouldn’t it be great to go on Spotify

And just listen to this for three hours? Um. This is what the inside of some of my mind looks like. – You have a mind? – I do have a mind. – All right. Okay. I see what I could have done there.

– Did you ever go on a death slide when you were a kid? – Yes. – How did you feel about that? – Scared. – I went on one after a girl got concussion called Sarah Roy Sullivan. She went down too fast and went bom on the back of it. – Uh.

– So I had the extra fit. Woop woop. Yes. – Oh shitting geometry. Oh fuck. – Yes! Oh, perfect. – You actual- – Rejected! – Oh, imagine if I went all the way back up. – The steam was like, not today. – That’s the wrong way. – No, this is the right way!

– Oh! What happens if you get bopped by the hammer? Do you just become a flat ball? – You die in real life. Are you actually stroking my fricking pig. What is actually going on right now? Right. Get malleted. – Oh. Oh. That was almost full sex. – And yet. What?

Well, that was, I was, you know, straight sended it in. – Full sex? – Like sexual feeling moment. – Yeah. That way. Gone. – Shut up! – Phil’s favourite part. – Ah, tasty. We’ve been visited by a whole herd of magpies into the garden. I was trying to remember the song this morning.

– Ah, yes. – One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy. – ‘Gender’, said the magpie. – And then I had to look up the rest and it was really weird. – What the actual fuck. – Magpie song. – I got fucking smacked.

– Squash. You need to slow down. – Oh fuck. This is how it ends. It’s over, people. With my hell, for some reason, having to listen to Phil explain. – It’s a Lancashire song, which is my roots. So you need to listen to this. – Don’t hit me.

– One for sorrow, two for joy. Three for girl, four for a boy. Five for silver, six for gold Seven for a secret never to be told. – Oh! – Do you want the rest? – How many verses are there? – Eight for a wish, nine for a kiss.

Ten for a surprise you should be careful not to miss. Eleven for health, twelve for wealth. Thirteen beware it’s the devil himself. – That’s a lot. – I know. – Look at this lovely castle. – When you went downstairs, one of ’em started pecking at- Oh, I didn’t mean to do that. It started pecking at the window. – What imp? Phil in an RPG would just be like a strange pixie with chaotic energy. – I think I would just always roll a critical 20 without realizing it. – Ha ha. – Ah-Huh? Kapow. – I’m gonna kapow you in a minute.

– Here we go. Oh no. – You got kapowed. Wa-wa. – It was the devil. – Fuck my fricking freckle! – Isn’t it hard? – God, that one spins you fast. – I told you it was a big spinner. I’m right way back here.

Only Dan is not on fire is not in the way. – Go on, then. Nudge me forward. No, I want to go around you. Yes. Lovely. Oh, there’s more. Oh my God. That is full fall guys, now. – Oop! Boing. – Stay away from me. – Look who I saw here. Ooh! Bonk.

– Oh, look at those. – Just a slit between them. – Oh, you have to do it really hard. That’s what the death silde was like, where Sarah got concussed. Well done. – Reverse your death slide trauma. – Oop. Yes! – If that goes in. Okay.

– Imagine if it plopped right in, then. – Ooh yeah. – Oh yeah. – Ow. I’ve got ground to cover after that flop round. Right. Hole 13 unlucky for some. Why do I hit Cannon Fire? What’s going on? – This is intense. We’re approaching the castle. Wow. – Wow! – There’s a lot. There’s a lot going on on this one. – Oh, he’s pissing. – Out of his hands? – Yep. That’s how gingerbread people work. Do you know nothing about anatomy? – I did not know. Do you usually go for the head first?

– When eating a ginger perso-,bread, man? – Yes. I go for the head first, because that’s all the best bits on it. Like the chocolate eyes and all that. Here we go. Whoop. – Bonk. – Bonk, bonk, bonk, bonk. – This balloon trail is obnoxious. – I think it represents the birthday,

Which I’m still having today. – Okay. Yep. Yep. – Oh, that’s making me want to piss. – Can you go up that, do you reckon? – Yeah. – Ohh. – No! Fuck. – Are you gonna get it between his legs. – Yeah. Right through the slit. Go on. There we go. Oop. No!

Oh, I did what you did. – What the fuck? Life is unfair. – That’s alright. – Malcolm in the middle. – That was nice, Daniel. I’ll give you that. Hole in one. Please. Come on. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. – God damn it.

I really need Phil to pork it on one of these other ones. – I know. I’m gonna be fully… golfing. – Woo. – Jim Henman. Come on. – Jim Henman? Jim Henson? Tim Henman? – Tim Henman. – Right. – The tennis player. – Forty five degree angle. Ooh.

– Let me into the castle. No! Are you having a game? How did you do that? Into the castle. – Oh, no. Get your goose out. You need to go down. – You need to to go down into the- – Higher angle. You weren’t high enough last time. Psych. Wait. – Yes! – That actually helped. – Come on. Come on, come on. – Stop for some reason. – Ssss. Are you having a jame? There we go. – Ooh!

– Oh, it’s close. Four left. All to play for. – What the hell? – That was a pretty strong start. – Ooh, okay. Okay. Copying me? – Yes! You got really far. – Fuck! – Oh. Oh. – This guy. – Delicious. – You’re the person whose character is just all luck.

– I’ve got charisma. I think I’ve got a charisma and luck. Oh, we liked that. That was lovely. – Gosh darn. – Oh my. There’s another God down there. Look at that. – Oh my! – Bye. – Why does-? What have I done? Don’t. – I’m just going maximum speed, maximum luck again.

– Beep. – Oh oh oh. – Get sliced. – Like strike down the- (Australian accent) Straight down the middle, mate. – (Australian accent) Straight down the middle. Straight down the bloody middle of the God, God hole. – (Australian accent) Can you believe we’ve got this golf going on? Killed it. – Stop. No.

– Oh my God. Return to the start. – No! – Return to the start. – Don’t. Oh my fucking God. – Now. What! What was that little bump it did? There must be a little lumpy bit there. – Now what the fuck am I doing?

Come on. Come on. Get me around the corner. Oh, you need to go right a bit. – Yes. – And yet no. Fuck. I knew that would happen. Fuck. – Uh oh. He’s in. – I’m gonna have to just do absolute insano math. – What! That was. That was a goodie. – Ooh!

– Well done. – What are we on? – Oh, I’m still behind. – Clawing back a little bit. – Phil had to think for a moment whether he was winning or losing. – No, I didn’t. – Yes, you did. – Choose your hole. Do you want the ball? – Golf!

Do you the man or do you want the stick? Oh, okay. I’m gonna go for the stick. – The tee. – The tee. – The stick – No! it was the joker. – Wa-wa. Right. I reckon they want us to go this way in this time. Wait. – Uh-uh. – Shat. – Ready?

– Oh, for God’s sake. – Getting a bit sinister this level, now. What are these faces? Why are we getting mystery doors? What’s this all leading to? No! – Fuck. Oh my God. – Well, that’s not gonna help, anyway. – Karma. – You’ve not done yours yet. – You copied me twice already. – Mm. – Yes. Into the man. – Ooh. – Ooh. Oh, they’re all slots that come out. It looks like mine was the worst one. He’s in. – Oh! – Oh. The answer was stick. – Time for Phil to nine it. – Hole in one, please. Come on. Swish around.

– We love it. – Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. – Oh my God. Look at my little pigeon wobbling in there. – Fuck. Oh my God. Something terrible’s gonna happen. Manifesting it. Manifesting. – Two left. That was-, what? That was good. – Oh, yeah. Ooh.

– What a chaotic world. No! Pig! – Diglett. – Oh, no. – Please leave me alone. Now what the fuck do I do? – Do you think if you were a person, you could make it just through this without dying? – Mm, No. No I don’t. – Really?

– I think I would die. Yeah. Why, do you think you could? – I think I could. Come on. Gently. Gently. – I really needed to not mess up that last one. – We got it. We got it. We got it. – I’m in the worst place ever. – Oh, okay. Okay.

– Okay. I can work with that. – There’s the- – I’m back where I was. – Yes. – God dammit. – Light it up. Come on, Dan. It’s funny that you’re just called Dan. – Ooh, okay. Send it. – Ooh. That’s very intimidating, isn’t it? I feel like this is our final challenge.

Wow. Oh! – Oh, here we go. – What a lovely ending. – Come on. Oh. Ooh. Yeah. There we go. Right. Backwards into that pink hole. – Look at that hole. Right. Okay. – That’s where you need to go. – No, I’m going this way. (mumbles) I’m overwhelmed. Ah! Okay. Yes. Yes.

– The luck stat. The luck stat. No critical thinking was done there. – Swim swiminey, swim swiminey, swim swim, swim swim. – He didn’t notice that there were only three spines on each one. – Final round. – Shit. – Can you beat Phil? It’s looking unlikely. – Oh my God.

– Oh, look at this. I love this level. This is my favorite one. – Maximum yeet? – Medium yeet. Oh, whoa. Oh my God. Oh my God. Pitching. Oh, so close. That was beautiful. – There’s no way I can win. – Imagine if I dropped it in that hole.

I’ll give you an extra point if you get a hole in one. Here he goes. (sings tune) Oh! Oh! Oh my God. Ah. He’s back in the water. Half this video is just gonna be you bouncing around in a boat. – Twenty minutes later. – Oh, oh, oh. – Oh for fuck’s sake. – Woop. I’m in. I survived the ordeal. Which means… Yes! I did it. I feel like it’s only right that I won on such a Phil level. That was fun. – How much was that improved

By having a bendy pigeon on your head? – I, I think that gave me extra powers and also filled me with hope and determination. – I do feel like this being the video we did immediately after I got a wide slit carved into my head was a bold choice.

– It was bold, but I think it worked. Wow. I’m in a good mood now. If you enjoyed any of the beats that you were listening to, well, – Listen to them. – you should check out- – Recreationally. – Dan and Phil Beats. Our musical endeavor. – Why not? – Over on Spotify

– Feel like you’re listening to two guys yapping about slits as you’re trying to just get on with your life. – End screen. If you enjoyed our golfing adventures, give us a subscription and you will feel green with joy. Watch our last video where we delved into my deep TikTok lives.

– That’ll give you some serotonin, for sure. – Yeah. And have a lovely day. – Until next time you. – What happens if we combine the colors? Oh no. – The void of nothingness.