The Really Good Podcast | Andrew Santino: “Are you a lizard?”

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Bobbi meets comedian Andrew Santino at a golf course to learn how to swing a golf club, talk about her aspirations as an actress, and which of them knows more billionaires.

So thank you so much for coming to my podcast thank you so much honestly I said I said to my team I said can I drive an hour and a half away from where I live to see Bobby mhm and they said you better believe it we’re going to go

To seami Valley yeah it’s pretty far this is deep but I like it’s really pretty out here to be completely fair I was happy to do it somewhere closer you just insisted on golfing no you wanted me to teach you comedy is what I heard that’s what Luke said was a good idea

It’s a terrible idea okay I this is a better idea idea okay then you can’t complain about the distance though but I can and I will and I did you shouldn’t and you should stop and you shouldn’t do it again let’s start over Okay hey great

To be here thank you so what’s your name huh what’s your name Andrew Santino is my name yeah a comedian author actor you you act yeah I’m an actor never seen you in any you’ve never seen me on television before no never once not one time I’ve never even heard your name this

Mine well here I am never even seen your face on my for you page there’s no way you haven’t seen my face no there’s no way there is a way give me your go get your phone and get your for you page out and we’ll scroll through it together for

Like hours it would your face would not come up within minutes I’ll be on your fyp within minutes I’m on your FP wouldn’t happen within minutes I’ll be on it don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t just don’t don’t put the club down I will not can you imagine if we got no fight with

Golf clubs what I would do you that would be hilarious I’d win you would yeah let’s do it you do that one and I’ll do this one I’ll do the long one you ready yeah get a big one get a big one out yeah two that’ll work did you set

That up like that or did you make someone else do that yeah cuz I was here 40 minutes before you I decided to stack all the balls like this for you you don’t have to come early no one told you to do that I came on time okay and I came 15 minutes

Late how about that how about that to your show how about that to your show pick those up how about that I stopped to get a breast pump I know I heard yeah so you can’t really make fun of me it’s in the car there’s milk in it would you

Like my sister to go go get the tip pump from the car hey guys so sorry to interrupt your episode of the really good podcast I’m so happy that this episode is sponsored by better help because I think better help is an amazing platform we all need therapy me

Especially if you guys know lately my life has been in desperate need of therapy uh but if you sign up for better help now using betterhelp.com Bobby alof you’ll get 10% off of your first month and I think with this new year we should all aim to be

Better versions of our self so that’s what I’m doing with therapy and I think that you guys should join me better help lets you choose from so many different therapists and if you don’t like the one that you picked you can try someone else and eventually you will find someone who

You meshed well with and who helps you become a better version of yourself so thank you for watching this ad thank you for supporting me and go to betterhelp.com Bobby elof after you finish watching the episode or now I won’t I won’t be sad if you look down at

Your phone really quickly before you forget do you have kids no kids do you want to give me yours no not really you love them both yeah equally equally you don’t love one more than the other one no I just which one’s better looking that’s so [ __ ] up they’re both look

Identical to each other no that are they identical twins yeah they are but they’re different ages mhm that’s impossible it’s not impossible no it’s literally impossible identical twins must be born together at the exact same time wow thank you Sherlock no this is just the normal okay um how many years

Of school did you get through uh all of them I got I got through what’s the normal like 18 years 18 years you got you went to school the moment you were born and you started to go to school no you came out of your

Mother and you she went put this baby in school pretty much wow I’m pretty smart I how much school did you go to I went to elementary school middle school high school and then I went to an Ivy League college no you did not yes I did what ivy league College it’s in

Arizona there’s no ivy league College in Arizona in Phoenix yes it is like ASU Arizona State yeah yeah I’m pretty sure it’s one of like the few schools with like an almost perfect they accept everyone acceptance rate it’s like 90% you better get your [ __ ] to check your

Stats dude it’s I be pushing out nonsense to the can you really quickly just so that I could get this game started so we could get this over with yeah um can you teach me I can just go do one and I’ll do one of the well let

Me see you swing first and then I’ll I’ll I don’t even know how to begin well that’s a a good place to start but that way is where you’d want to aim so that’s what I’m aiming for well so flip your body around face that way why well

That’s I don’t know unless you want to hit the crew so like that so here you go so so um here you go so take take the golf club yeah okay and then put one hand here on top here how about this take your hands like this put the club

Between your crotch there yeah and then and then put your pinky interlock it with your pointer Pinky and see it come on 18 years of school this one to here bam and then just do that underneath here so it’s interlocked underneath your club and then you pull them

Together okay yep go ahead this will be a long day yeah so like this no no no just go like this I’m trying it’s like confusing me though here you go it’s all right kiddo here you go go like this and then it’s going to go interlocked here

Your pinky is going to interlock with your top finger I don’t think that makes sense no it does and it’s so cold there you go right there there just like that okay so hold it like that right and then now now WRA exactly oh my God I just

Right how does that feel and then all you do now all you do now is Swing yeah just just back and through exact that looks great perfect no it really looks good I’m I’m being serious I’m not being prous yeah and the name for the white ball good very

Good I’m really trying no no you are it is good it’s not moving ball the ball isn’t moving you’re moving it won’t there it is wow that’ll do that’ll your turn okay it’s um really freaking cool so and you can all all you have to do is

Stay Crouch down uhhuh put the ball here and then oh my God yeah that’s all you need to do what are you looking for oh my assistant you have one two I have two assistants how how much do you pay them each yeah uh I think my I think my mail assistant I

Pay I think my male assistant I pay 10 grand a month and my female assistant I pay her 70% of that whatever that would be sounds so 7 Grand a month yeah yeah do you what’s that 10 grand feels exp 10 grand a month for my guy assistant s

Grand for the female assistant because of you know is’s obviously worse right no she’s much better okay she’s actually he works less than her she works significantly more yeah her output is higher yeah her intelligence level is higher her efficiency is higher yeah yeah but I don’t make the rules Biden does dude

Just doing what the Press says I think that’s fair how is this going dude is this good oh God they’re burritos I didn’t ask for a burrito how’s this been going so so far my life yeah like look you’ve really taken off recently mhm the internet

Seems to like you yeah a little you know we all have haters yeah but I mean the internet seems to like you you seem to be having fun yeah it’s a lot of fun to sit here and do this for a job is this fulltime are you planning on doing other stuff uh

It’s full- time right now I have interviews every day this week what are you interviewing for uh jobs what jobs I was thinking a coffee shop or a strip club don’t take any offense to this yeah you would be a terrible stripper and that’s I don’t know if

That’s a compliment or I don’t mean it in a mean way but you would not be a good if you came out on stage and I was at a strip club I’m booing and I’m leaving Boo and I’m packing up do you go to strip clubs I live right above a

Strip club and you go in there often don’t you frequent it well that’s where my mail gets delivered so I got to go down there to grab something okay do you like them strippers no strip clubs love strip clubs love strippers I’m Pro sex work I believe that people need to do whatever

They want to do you don’t like strip clubs I don’t I don’t fit in there when I try to go I’ve been twice though you don’t fit in in what way you’re tin cuz you’re tiny no because I don’t know where to look there’s just like a lot going on

You mean like you don’t want to feel weird looking at the girls naked yeah you can it’s okay I don’t but I don’t feel we like it feels wrong for me to do that do I intimidate you mhm wait why wow this tasted so good what is that the most delicious

Drink Prime blue raspberry is that blue raspberry prime it is man I bet you that tastes real good especially when it’s warm outside on a golf course and it’s 10% coconut water tell me it’s 10% coconut water mhm goodness gracious Bobby alop is that hydrating and delicious it was so hydrating Andrew

Thank you so much yikes this looks real good can I have some yep of course you can Andrew wow this is good Bobby would you do you think you become a full-time television and film actress at some point yeah actually is this the dream and goal yeah do you have anything

That you want to put me in yeah okay oh yeah such as uh I’m working on this stripper biopic right now is that how you say that word biopic you could say biopic or biopic I’ve never heard of biopic biopic I’ve heard biopic yeah that’s public school that’s

Why you went to private school I did must be nice it was how much was it a year 38 Grand a day I think is what my mommy paid your mommy yeah my mommy and my pup you call them that regularly like in well my daddy is a guy that lives in Cuba

And he he’s my bad boy daddy or or poppy as we say it that’s Spanish I don’t know if you spoke Spanish are you married yeah and she’s okay with you having a daddy too yeah dude you should see how she lives she lives good she lives

Really good do he pay for her he pays for everything for all of us we don’t have any kids but this is crazy sometimes he’ll bring us a kid and we’ll like have a baby for a week I’m enjoying this a lot I thought I

Thought are we going to get on are we going to get along yeah answer is yeah get along right now huh are we getting along right now yeah I think would you consider me a friend of yours now after this okay you want the real answer yeah no

Why because if are you going to get upset yeah but just say it anyway I think your sister seems cooler she doesn’t want to be your friend you [ __ ] you know what you look you look exactly like her boyfriend by the way is he a redhead yeah yeah see I just could

Feel she was cool and you’re chill or whatever but mhm here’s the deal if we were going to hang out if as friends like if you wanted to really be my friend yeah tell me where we’d go you hate golf yeah all right so golf is gone

Dinner we go to a dinner a big dinner with all our friends what kind of food do you eat anything sushi I’m allergic to all sushi to going to Sushi with people I can have it alone but I can’t have it with other people I just saw a picture of you at

Sushi from last night it’s on your story did we post that [ __ ] I just found out I had the allergy this morning yeah today we just got the doctor’s call didn’t we MH what did he say the doctor said say with me Andrew you have an allergy to public Sushi meetups thank you

See that we do I would be your friend I think Pizza huh Pizza what do you put on your pizza that’s is going to be a big determin of whether or not we could actually get pizza a chicken pesto Pizza what’s wrong with that that’s that’s traumatic what do you

Put on yours pepperoni you should go to prison for that you should you should be locked up in prison for some a chicken pesto Pizza you should be locked up in prison for how dry your hands are which which which this is why we jail this is

Why we jail people for chicken P chicken pesto Pizza taste it before you sit here and talk about Bob that look at me that’s disgusting you don’t want to go with pep old school pep even a margarite I would do just in Old School e you are you 26 do I look older

Yeah you do how old are you how old are you Ed what is Ed Ed ch oh you think I look like Ed Sheeran no you look like a worst version of him a worst version like worst W us like a German sausage I said worse I’m Italian and Irish okay

Ed oh you okay so you’re going to mock me and call me Ed cuz I have red hair okay how old are you no I’m going to let I want to let what you said sit for a second cuz it’s rude and mean mhm and by the way Ed she

Is a good bud yeah and he’s better looking than you are okay don’t ever tell me I look older than I am again well you do okay well you look like ugly so I don’t and guess what I’ll say it The Internet’s been saying it you’re fat the internet

Doesn’t even know who you are The Internet’s been saying it you’re fat and I and it’s like yeah every time I read somebody goes Bobby looks fat and I go this is mean and this is disgusting behavior for the internet mhm but now that I’m up close in

Purse fat that’s why you wrote skinny white girl on the paper yeah try to make you feel good even though you’re a fatty Patty I wouldn’t be talking you sure you don’t want to eat right now Fatty Patty I wouldn’t be talking what’s is that your stomach grumbling I wouldn’t be

Talking no you hurt my feelings I was going doing fine and then you bullied me and I had you bullied me first how what do you mean you how old are you how don’t that’s [ __ ] up of you to him to take that as an insult no you said Ed

Sheeran but uglier that’s what you said that was the insult but said when right now you said you said Ed Sharon like that’s not an insult no it’s not an insult but you said ug yeah I was referencing what we were talking about yeah well that was that was an insult

You’re like a rich you like the did you grow up with money is that why you like talking about money no I didn’t you talk about money a lot yeah cuz I want a lot of money what are you going to do with it everything that I want I don’t know

Buy nice things buy groceries well you could buy groceries and you don’t need to be rich to buy groceries actually have you been to the grocery store yeah I go I go at least once a week well you do need to be rich to go to the grocery

Store no you don’t yeah you do no because so so everyone I seen in a grocery store is rich is that what you’re saying if they can afford groceries every week yeah it’s interesting you’re like for the people but you’re but you have no idea what

You’re talking about how do I have no idea what I’m talking about because you don’t need to be rich to be to buy groceries I couldn’t afford groceries when I was growing up so what happed I do feel like uh the card would get declined and we did you guys grow poor

We did where did you grow up Paris California yeah go ahead mock me one of those [ __ ] towns with a wrong name yeah it’s a good place sorry that’s so dumb my dad still lives there so if you could stop I’m from London Nevada are you poor shaming me hey are

You guys from Barcelona Washington where are you from Chicago that’s embarrassing why me one bad thing about it other than the shootings did you do hair and makeup before you came here no I woke up like this you’re funny why are you acting like you think I’m ugly I know you don’t

No I just want to put you in your place a little bit I think if anyone deserves to be put in their place if you were on time I wouldn’t have been mean that’s not true you were mean before I even ever got to talking to you that’s true

Yeah you were like um my name is Andrew Santino and I’m a very busy person and I can only do it at a golf course I’ve met way more successful people than you who were just name one person you’ve done a pod with that’s more successful than me go every single

Person I’ve done well you are by far the least successful person I’ve name one go sukiana more successful than you never heard of they next um Michael Sarah the [ __ ] lotion commercial guy mhm pass okay no thanks he makes more money than you it’s not about money buddy

Success he he is more successful no one knows who you are everybody knows who I am and it’s certainly not I can go I I’ll go run across this range and ask these guys who me ask them where they know you from I’m not coming and I’m not looking either cuz that’s

Embarrassing hey man what’s your name Mason um can I borrow are you for a second sure come with me for two seconds my name’s Andrew Santino have you ever seen the bad Friends Podcast with Bobby Lee the little Asian guy little fat asian guy and the redheaded guy yeah and

I do a show with him okay so I want you to chase after me and yell Andrew Santino Andrew Santino do it right now come on do it right now as loud as you can you do dude leave me alone dude please that’s enough dude you got to

Leave me alone thank you so much thank you I appreciate I’ll get you afterwards thanks Buddy Jesus Christ that fan just chased me down yeah that was annoying to say the least but that’s what happens when they when the kids know you chase me down aggressive too that

Guy Lexi what did he say over there to him what did he say to him did he know who he was no these guys were all there we have on did he know who he was did he know who he was I think so yep he did not he did not know

Who you were sure did whose team are you on who you just watched him chase me down because you asked him to I said hey how are you he said get over here and I started running because I was scared and I was like I got to go be near Bobby

I’ll protect you no you won’t I will do you want me to go fight him now I’m going to be honest I get I appreciate that we’re becoming friends and you’re saying nice stuff like that you couldn’t phys physically hurt anybody I could no do you want me to go

Fight him here’s what I want you to do punch my camera guy as hard as you can don’t stab me with a pencil that will be inappropriate don’t stab me with the pencil I don’t want to be stabbed with a pencil I haven’t got my shots yet I

Haven’t got my booster please don’t do that your booster let me get the booster do you wear a mask when you go everywhere still I’m talking about tetanus okay the booster for tetanus you get one yeah dude a lot of people get them like who people who are afraid of

Getting stabbed by pencils m mhm what do you do for fun um I go on walks I take my kids to the park okay I take my kids to Disneyland so you’re at Disneyland all the time I take my kids to the beach I take my kids

To what do you do for fun without kids oh God I take my sister what do you do without kids or your sister oh I don’t go anywhere alone okay ever well you like going places alone I love going places Al in fact I eating alone hold for

Plane eating alone hold for plane I don’t hold for planes they hold for me hold for Bobby they do not they’re going for Bobby hundreds of miles an hour they can’t hold for you it did it really it did wow yeah I have a lot more connections than you that was Mark

Cuban’s plane flying and I just text him and I said hold for Bobby and he stopped what would you text him and what would he say back I can text him anything and he would reply hey Mark Cuban what are you doing no I’d say hey Mark you want

To be on my podcast again and he’d go kind of busy dude I own a [ __ ] basketball team he’s selling it even still yeah you think selling it is like a 10-second thing he a long I don’t know I’m not a billionaire you will be one day I know

You’ll be so sad I won’t be sad you’re going to be so rich and so bummed out why would I be bum because you’re going to cut off ties to everybody I won’t including your sister by the way she’s chuckling up now I won’t cut she’s back on her EBT card

She won’t be laughing then when she’s begging for bad fruit at the dollar store I this is your sister in a couple years when you’re this your sister you guys have any eggs for me that’s your sister are there any eggs you were going to throw away and they’ll go oh my God

Is that Bobby alto’s sister she goes I was and she’s not anymore toothless she’ be Toothless and old okay Andrew it sounds like you’re projecting is that what you would do when you’re a billionaire I’m scared that I’m going to turn into that I’m I’m I’m confident I’m

Not into a billionaire no stupid I said into an [ __ ] you’re not going to be an [ __ ] then you’re you’re one now I think you’ll fix yourself by then you’re not I’m that was not funny I’m sorry you’re right have you ever thought of getting boox no I mean sometimes I think I

Should fix I have these pimple scars on this side I think about fixing those but then I think character yeah gives you Char a little bit of character because this is my growley side like if I’m on camera this is like a bad boy side and

Then this side’s a little bit like oh that’s a neighbor do you ever think of filling in your beard a little no this just got trimmed out well that’s cuz my cat my cat gets at my beard okay and tears it right up you have more eyebrow

Hair than you do beard hair that’s deliberate okay you don’t like my bushies you don’t like my bushies no oh someone sounds jealous cuz your [ __ ] looks thin mine do not look thin they look thin no they don’t do you thread them no I can tell who does your eyebrows

Myself your stealth my I didn’t say that you said my stealth I did not say that are your parents both alive yeah good what would you have said if I said no I would have inquired more I would say how did they die what happened which one did you alive huh are your

Parents live I haven’t gotten a letter in a long time but I hope so did you know them growing up I loved them they’ve been out at sea for quite a long time my dad built a boat and they’ve are you Irish sorry yeah my dad built a

Boat and disappeared a long time ago set out at Sea on a voyage for a whiskey are you over the sea Hills through the tumultuous terrain how did you know how to put on only hoping to come home once again dude let me finish

My Irish I I don’t want you to do that anymore all right um I was trying to think of questions for you but I don’t even know anything no I’m glad you’re prepared thank you I’m trying to get better at interviewing people I think I have been I got to know

You a little bit oh you’re actually very very good you’re for me it goes Oprah Bobby alof have youever have you ever been interviewed by Oprah Ellen okay down there about you’re way above Ellen thank you uh Larry King and Nick Canon for some reason is in there I

Don’t even know why Nick Cannon’s in there but he’s in there okay I really like that guy do you know Nick I haven’t met him do you know Oprah I’ve met Oprah once I met the Big O once but she didn’t want to interview you no we met each I

Met her out in public oh she was at a Jimmy John’s and she had no idea who you were no she knew who I was that’s not true don’t act like Oprah knew who you were everybody from Chicago knows who everybody from Chicago it’s of a thing

I’ve never met one person who knew who you were like usually when I tell people like your sister was like big fan when she came up to me she goes big fan there’s no way she said that she said big fan she yesterday she was like wait

Who is that she said where do I know him from she said big fan did you say that it’s okay kiddo big fan come on let’s what are you planning on doing with the last 20 years of your life on your way out now well I’m in a movie that comes out next

Month and if that does well I I’ll be okay what movie It’s called Ricky stini March 7th on Prime video featuring John Cena and Zach Efron and myself and Germaine Fowler Zach Efron what’s that you say mhm it’s about a young three best friends what do they

Do yeah what do they do three best friends they have to make up a fake friend their whole life as their Alibi and then they get they have to hire a real one I can’t tell when you’re like telling a real story this a real story a

Movie called Ricky Stan Nicki comes out March 7th on Prime video me John Cena Zack Efron Jermaine Fowler me Zack Efron and Jermaine Fowler are best friends we have to make up an alibi when we’re kids for some of the mistakes that we make then we get older and our wives and

Girlfriends want to meet this Alibi that we’ve been blaming everything on and we hire John Cena to play our Alibi it’s directed by Pete Fairley who directed all right that’s enough Dumb and Dumber Something About Mary if you want me to post that whole thing you have to pay

For a free for promo spot in this cuz that was ridiculous I’ll pay how much is it like at least 60,000 okay I’ll call Amazon I’ll call Bezos he’s an old bud you have his number I do can I have it well shows your tax bracket we don’t have

Numbers but we’re reachable you don’t have a number no I don’t have a number do you have my number you know you don’t and that’s cuz I’m reachable I don’t have a cell phone number when you’re in the B bracket in the billionaire bracket we don’t have cell phones we have something

Else we have communication waves that are open to those who are able to access them so you can access Jeff Bezos right now name a billionaire I can access them name one Jeff Bezos Jeff Bezos yes call him or aess him aess him aess him we

Don’t call I don’t want to access him right now I I don’t have musky duskies anymore he changed it after when he went to Austin we stopped speaking you’ve met him Elon yeah I played zon with him before for what’s that you never played zon no it’s

Like what is that again you’ll figure it out once you get there once you get to that tax you not a real thing zon is a dinner game that people play at wealthy dinners you’ve never taken a helicopter and played zon with anybody oh gee I

Have I just forgot I was actually there last night what other billionaires do I know I don’t I don’t you know if you have a I knew him how often did you go to his Island never and that pissed me off cuz he didn’t invite you he never invited me

Once I’m sorry about the loss of your friend I don’t think I missed out on much I don’t think you did either and I’m kind of glad you didn’t cuz I couldn’t release this I know I know I know yeah I didn’t know him never met

Him I’m not like you dude I don’t know billionaires you’re the one that knows billionaires you probably know you know some crazy Illuminati [ __ ] no I don’t I bet you you have baby blood in your car right now are you lizard raise your arms

Up to the sky real fast am I what are you a lizard are you part of lizard lizard what is that why do you know this okay nice try this is how they get us let me see your tongue stick your tongue out real fast uh-huh you wouldn’t it

Feels wrong just go real fast and let me see if you’re a lizard I’m not going to do that like that people will like take that and put that on like only fans if I do that I’m not doing that would you ever do an o no you wouldn’t make much I’ve

Insulted you’d make aot you’d make a lot of money I’m going to do one just to prove it to you what would be your only fans well I don’t know I heard I could just get people to subscribe and then never actually put anything up

I’ll tell you I’ll tell you what I’d pay for if you made an only fans I don’t want to know you just daily putting tape over your mouth every day just every morning a different color tape right over your mouth I’d pay for that fully clothed outside nothing Central just tape red

Blue green change it up slowly though put it on there slowly do you talk to your wife like this no I love her does she love you I don’t know I don’t think so how long ago did you guys meet well we didn’t really meet until the boat arrived when she got off

The boat you ever just like say give me an honest answer just no cuz you’re going to make fun of me you’ve been making fun of me the whole time I have not you make fun me every time I give you an honest answer you call me Fatso you you’ve s

Said some mean stuff to me today I called you what you made fun of me you poor ashamed me you’ve done all of the things wait a minute wait a minute back it up when have I called you Fatso not once not once did I call you that let’s

We have cameras we’ll check the tape yeah let’s just put it all together check the tape one video of all the times you’ve called me that all right do you want me to be honest now yeah you’re not fat you’re a nice person and it’s been a pleasure meeting you do you think

I’m pretty no okay it’s well would you rate me on a scale from 1 to 10 just at a curiosity on a scale from 1 to 10 yes you know let’s not use the word scale with you fat ass what would I rate you on a scale

Laugh at your own joke it just makes me feel good okay to call you fat ass thank you you should change your Twitter handle to Bobby fat ass okay answer the question one to 10 what would I rate you yeah I don’t know honest genuinely cuz for me it’s it’s it’s not

Five five is average no five is not average it’s quite literally the average two or three is average I’d wrate you like a I’m I’ll be serious honest okay go if five is average I would rate you like you’re probably just a little below average like if I saw you out in public

I wouldn’t and you looked at me I’d be like ew Lexi that creep is looking at me please you said she has a red-headed boyfriend so clearly you’re not going to go ew to a redheaded guy I’m going to say e cuz you’re not I would think you’re just like an unattractive guy

Trying to hit on me if I looked at you if you looked at me like you’re so full of yourself that’s insane if I if someone glances at you you think they’re hitting on you yeah so you think everybody’s hitting on you pretty much you think all these guys in the crew are

Hitting on you yeah they’re doing it right now it’s pretty weird wow so yeah I’m on your team now I see it this is disgusting this is disgusting that guy’s disgust that’s disgust this guy should be ashamed of themselves I know some of them are married to these are pigs they all are

Yuck do you think we for this a six that’s so nice you’re a six thank you I’m stop pitting on me and it’s hard to say that kind of stuff because I’m flattered and you’re like you’re four I’m just going to say it [ __ ] you fat ass I’m not [ __ ] four

You fat goon that’s not mean I’m definitely a six it’s just you’re not a six that’s above average what’s your [ __ ] sister’s name Lexi Lexi what am I honestly six yeah no le that’s above average don’t lie to him do you think he’s above average Lex dog six 12

Average thank you she’s saying not to be nice cuz you scare her Ed Sharon is that an insult to Ed Sharon no it’s an insult to you dear Ed oh Ed won’t be on this show I’ll tell you that he will no he won’t he’s got better

Stuff going on I love him and he will name one song name one Ed sharan song what do you mean name one an ed sharan song you love him go Um you know that one oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that I know yeah that song hold for the plane stop Noob Let It Go by it doesn’t no I wanted to stop for Bobby really quick okay what size is a sweater I don’t know I just St double XL

Fatty don’t be mean to fat people what is your problem I’m not mean to fat people I mean to you do when you get out of the cart do you Go don’t be mean to fat people when you get out of bed I’m I’m not mean to fat people I’m mean to you for being fat don’t try to pull in for being fat don’t try to P you make fun of me I make fun of you that’s how the that’s how comedy

That’s how I’m not making fun of you for something that’s cancelable what’s cancelable about you being fat that’s your fault you hating on fat people Andrew Santino hates fat people some of them yeah no I don’t hate any fat people that’s not true my Uncle Mark is

Fat as [ __ ] that guy is a dick do you hate that guy is a dick do you hate him no I don’t hate him at all I love him to death do you hate me I don’t hate you no Hate’s such a strong word that’s crazy I don’t hate

You you to me are do you think I’m fat do I genuinely think you’re fat from the bottom of your heart right now no how much do you think I weigh if you had to guess more than you should more than here let’s write our answers and we’ll yeah I’ll write the

Real answer you write the the guest the guest and then we’re going to show it because I don’t want you to change your answer but be but so serious all right I’ll be serious no like genuine okay what is this that I’m ripping up it’s a scorecard that’s how you keep score on

The golf course all right so you write your little number of how many strokes that you got I genuinely think you probably weigh cuz I’ve taken count everything your teeth those lashes for my real lashes yeah I know but you’ve got so much mascara on you’ve gooped it on there

That’s got to be a couple pounds very cleanly applied I don’t think so I think so that looks like spider legs with arthritis there’s bumps all over them you wish your eyelashes look like this please I have beautiful eyelashes look look how pretty they are there’s nothing there

I’ve been complimented about them my whole life it’s the one thing I do have it’s the one my weight and zoom in on my eyelashes cuz they look great I’ll do okay write it three two hold on dude I think your actual weight is okay stop writing so much give me

Yours and I’ll give you mine okay one two three okay 4 lb yeah you’re not four lb I just got weighed this morning one z o be one Z OES that’s how much you way no your eyelashes do look good maybe it’s you know that maybe it’s May it is Maybelline maybe it’s

Diabetes you’re going to lose your vision soon you keep it up you’re really making me sad you might lose a limb you want to go get something to eat you got to be hungry this has been an hour what do they got to feed you every like 20

Minutes honestly how how long do you think you can go without eating I don’t like this game Andrew all right you’re hurting my that this is mean it’s not funny it’s not funny at all I take it out I apologize it’s a bad how about this it’s a bad

Joke yeah that’s a bad joke and I don’t like it fun um well I hope I don’t like it now that I think about it I don’t like it and I apologize so how much do you think I weigh that I’m sorry how much you think I weigh then too much [ __ ]

Cow I knew you were coming to the driving range cuz I heard you when you were walking over all right guys thank you so much for this interview I keep trying to do this yeah back it up put it in reverse getting us out of

Here just be careful on the hill cuz I don’t want to tilt cuz of your weight and the side of It I think it’s broken okay stop you’re scaring me okay no don’t don’t kick me I’m trying to kick you out okay I’ll just get out thank you God Robert have so much fun get don’t hit me with the golf cart get out of here oh that sounds the weight limit

That’s what that sound means this was fun