This week on Where’s That Bar Cart Monty serenades us with a made up song from Gina’s time at the Toronto Golf Show. We talk old creepy golf men, awkward amateur comedy nights, and a LOT about Darryl’s headshot.
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Yeah I I don’t know if they were having problems beforehand who you’re a psychologist yeah yeah jumped off a balcony into a wood chipper I mean up until then I thought the guy was fine but you know I don’t know he shouldn’t have had he shouldn’t have had you as his only
Client probably not yeah no it’s terrible and also we were talking on headphones that’s why my voice was right in his brain and then my brain was talking to his brain and he couldn’t take it off a two-story balcony into a wood chipper terrible incident Cottage Country though [Laughter]
Nice what a way to start what a way to start episode five or episode four of season five whatever this is uh I think it’s episode four in fact aren’t we doing this season as a prequel I was told this was a prequel is that why we seem so
Disorganized yeah Gina what’s going on we missed you last week how was the uh how was the Golf Show sorry uh it was good yeah it was it was um smaller than I thought it would be um but I think the biggest yet like I it’s definitely grown
Over the years I I haven’t been other years but this is just from what I heard about it and um yeah like they had like a bunch of different like Srixon and Cobra and like tailor made uh had Bay set up where you could hit balls which
Was kind of cool and like try out clubs um lots of lots of um like shirts and and shoes and pants and stuff all for sale which is kind of cool not as much like I don’t know it was tough like I was with my friend who’s well she’s a lady
And also she’s left-handed and so she’s a [Laughter] lady so for her it was like a little tough to find like they didn’t there’s not like many left-handed yeah because the golf industry is racist against lefties they honestly are in fact we met with this company and they do
Left-handed gloves like that’s their whole thing oh interesting yeah and they were so excited to meet her being that they’re that they’re that they’re right-handed what isn’t it don’t don’t we wear our don’t I wear the glove on my left hand yes we do so naturally it it
Would stand to reason that left he wear it on the opposite you’re right Monty you’re right that that was a real brain teaser from Monty there well I’m like I’m like honestly I don’t know what hand I wear my gloves on I don’t have my glove I don’t those
Aren’t the kind of things I recollect like what hand do I wear the glove on I mean like I don’t know what am I a glove historian no you just like blew my brain out when you said that I was like wait it’s like slowly processing no it’s very
Smart first SM yeah well uhy can I throw this out there um guys can we do a theme song for our uh for the podcast called left-handed lady I think we’re missing that in the um in the Lexicon of Earth I mean we could have a theme song for our podcast but
Considering we haven’t even did done an intro for our podcast in about 14 episodes I think we’re really missing something there left-handed lady there’s also not guests anymore like we’re taking out elements instead of yeah yeah I’m not sure it’s getting better it’s we’re taking out golf as a
Topic yeah that’s true it’s weird thing where we just start mid conversation yeah and uh yeah what a way to start well I do have a golf related now that I’ve been talking about the Golf Show there was one circumstance I wanted to to tell you guys about um so Julie
And I like went I was like a Sunday morning Julie being the left-handed lady left-handed lefted lady mon who is she left-handed lady whoa whoa whoa yeah we’re making the song as we go yeah by the end we’ll have a full song I feel like yeah um anyway so so her and I
We we didn’t even think of this but I guess we like stood out like a sore thumb because it was a lot of like guys sure right and anyway we’re like looking at clubs blah blah blah and then we haven’t been there more than two minutes
I would say and this guy goes wow they’re letting women on golf courses now Jesus Christ oh wow wow and it was just this immed like we’re like wow that was like a time record like damn holy yeah so there wild it’s kind of it was crazy and then uh she was swinging
Clubs and uh she has a really nice swing and then of course it is she’s left-handed it’s a nice swing right off the bat it starts off as a nice swing doesn’t finish as nice thing well I mean I mean left-handed swings are the prettiest there are wow is it known for
Being a pretty swing I well I think other lefties like myself we would yeah know this is these are not facts I would say they’re not facts this is propaganda this is um anyway and then and then the guys standing next to me were like is she a
Pro and I was like no she doesn’t have to be the defensive part is like she doesn’t have to be a pro to just confidently swing right like what do you guys think about about that I don’t know I’m curious to hear like a male perspective like they were genuinely
Reacting to her swing but it’s just like God I wish it wasn’t I wish it was we didn’t stand out like that it it sounds like I it’s sort of something I experienced the other day I’m hosting at Absolute all week and this comic went up
And his like he was an Italian guy and his first name is literally Guido and he had unbuttoned his dress shirt down to like the belly button and had a m of chain no irony like whatsoever and his material was like oh in my day when when
It said I I blew a [ __ ] that mean I had to go to the mechanic like the jokes were like that and the audience actually laughed and we were in the back like are did we take a time machine to like 1989 like what is happening right now there
Was no irony whatsoever and it sounds like that’s what you were experiencing like just a bunch of men in a room being like We’re Men let’s hit on these ladies and you know if if one of them has any morsel of talent they must be a pro
Right yeah and they and they were older gentlemen like all of them that said that said these things and and I didn’t get the the feeling like they were even hitting on us it was just their initial reaction upon seeing us was like was like whoa women yeah well how how how
Old are they like our ageo like like Boomers or like our age like really old like your age yeah oh Gina oh wow oh what a shot left-handed lady cut so deep left-handed slashes making me weep for [Laughter] it I don’t know they’re probably I mean let’s be honest these guys are probably
The only women they talk to are their wives and the servers at the golf course yeah so they don’t know how to talk to a woman that’s very true but I you know what I can say from my my personal experience and I’m certainly one of the most oblivious people walking around the
Earth yeah that’s true uh I don’t find it unusual that a woman would be golfing even from I golf from the early 90s there was women golfing then it doesn’t like blow my mind you know like if I saw a woman golfing anywhere I wouldn’t be like what the hell’s going on
Right uh maybe if she had a really good swing I’d be like wow she seems like she could really golf I wouldn’t then assume she’s a pro either you know like if you’re in a par three and it’s 150 yards and she hit it on the green I wouldn’t
Be like you you must be uh you know uh you must be one of the best of all time right right right you know be just like oh that was a good shot you know she’s good so so I I think they’re a little bit uh they’re a little bit out of touch
They’re out of touch exactly I I I agree with you it’s not it and that’s where my heads at now with golf it’s not like I’m I think it’s such an anomaly that I’m a woman who golfs like there are a lot of women but maybe I don’t know there was
Two of us and we were together you know maybe it’s because we didn’t have men with us something was crazy something was crazy about it that’s what I was gonna say is I sort of half wish Jeff was there and half but I don’t but you
Don’t need to go to a place with Jeff just to you know have protection or someone to but it would I would like to see a 6’8 guy looming over over a 70-year-old [ __ ] bigot [ __ ] that would be fantastic me not that Jeff is aggressive in any way but that would be
Amazing no it’s true he he’s intimidated people just by standing up like he’ll start a fight or like the people arguing and then he’ll just stand up and the guy’s like oh no that’s fun to watch yeah well I I don’t but those guys were probably just trying to like not
Even hitting on anyone they’re just probably trying to say things interact yeah no I I know exactly yeah but uh lot weird things to say yeah yeah I think it’s more social awkwardness perhaps like an older man doesn’t know necessarily how to speak to women these
Days I’m lucky that I would come at my social awkwardness from a different direction where if I saw you two walking towards you at the GF show I probably would have [Laughter] ran I see that some of that classic Daryl perose charm oozing he just and then I was
Gone did you get anything did you get any swag did you get anything free nothing nothing nothing I know they had these bags at the front it’s like like oh how much swag are we GNA get and then it just kind of wasn’t like that like there was a lot of
Sales um like discounts for sure if you were wanting to buy if you’re like oh I want a new driver like that probably would have been a good place to go try one out and then get a discount right um and there are a lot of different
Companies doing cool new things I I liked that but it wasn’t the sort of the dominating the the the the main Vibe was just like this is how golf has always been even though there are cool new Innovative companies doing things if I don’t know that I’d actually go to a
Specific brand to get fitted for anything because their incentive is just to sell you on their brand that’s why like when I got fitted in Monty 2 is is it was brand agnostic basically it was just which clubs you hit the best right I don’t know that I’d go to like a
Tailor made booth and trust that their actual clubs were the right ones for me I’d go to the Costco booth for sure would you yeah and make sure their clubs and balls were the best for me sure of course if you’re like enough of like if you’re into the technical aspect of golf
So much or the equipment aspect like I’m not really but like if you if if you know that Taylor M just came out with a new driver and you were like oh my God it’s got this new element to it I got to try it like I see like real Gearheads
Doing that kind of thing but darl going back to your point earlier about the nature of running away from women oh I did listen to an episode of the flagstick podcast we had Scott McLoud on I believe in either uh season one or season two and uh it’s one it’s a really
Great podcast I’m going to listen to it more but I was like oh this is what a golf podcast is interesting yeah that’s not what we do at all not that we’re intending to do it but we’re we’re we’re very much golf adjacent I’ll say yeah I
Get what you mean because they probably break down like all the latest yeah technology and probably news as well they there probably a reason why so many of our guests once we were done would be like oh this is so much more fun than other golf podcasts maybe there you know
I mean we are we we’re all comedians you know what I mean like I think there’s that element of it too it’s like we we are like you guys especially are friends that like to golf that right happen to do a golf podcast like I think it’s I
Think it’s just different it’s just different content yeah it’s not bad oh I used to do a podcast on um what do you call minor um minor oil changes and various other Automotive things and uh you know I was listed many many years for being the most
Entertaining uh you know lube and uh tuneup oil podcast maybe of all time I because I did not ever talk about oil changes that’s the one that was the key I don’t really know what’s going on and you know one time I put windshield wiper fluid in my radiator and that was
A mistake yeah I believe you had a you had a female co-host and the podcast was called Mr and Mrs Lube yeah it was supposed to be a coconut oil related podcast coconut oil will will solid solidify in the cold though so that is a bad move uh radiator
Wise I did see though did you see on Instagram uh past guests past multiple guests Nick reynoldson posted a pick from the golf course today I don’t know they at Four Seasons or what but it’s it’s like what 11 degrees today and February 9th and he was on the golf
Course oh he’s probably been out a bunch of times I bet you oh yeah I went for a walk today in just like a light jacket and I was sweating by the time I got home yeah yeah it’s crazy yeah I walked around Trinity Bellwoods park it was so
Awesome loved it yeah yeah well you know uh global warming gets a lot of grief you know sure and it’s hard to really stand here in Canada and say this sucks well I mean the best part is we’re all older Gina accepted but um we’re all
Going to die before the worst happens so it’s okay we can enjoy it hopefully hopefully yeah yeah I mean if you’re talking in the next 15 years all of us just don’t have kids then really there’s no consequences we’re on track yeah we’re doing well the four of
Us we’re doing well it’s amazing that this this podcast has sterilized us like that um I don’t know if it was the I don’t know if it’s the electronics or whatever but um wait didn’t we agree the three of us that we were going to get fixed before
We started this podcast because I I did I thought you guys were in this with me well I was gonna get I listened to Monty’s podcast to figure out how to get fixed it’s it’s quite a ride I tell you I because I went to the doctor recently
A fertility doctor and he told me all my jiz is dead and I was like it’s dead and he’s like yeah man that’s dead jizz and I’m like come on how he said jizz that’s yeah that’s so professional did he say your jiz was
Dead or his when he said oh my jiz is dead I don’t know I just I I I just heard dead jiz and um you know basically I blacked out after that I don’t even know what happened I I believe it was in response to me I was like is my jizz
Good he’s like it’s dead dead jizz I was like a come on am I GNA tell my left-handed lady bad news bad news baby J dead sorry Mrs Lube weird thing about being from the East Coast J be a whole different thing like just guys get here earlier you get
You know what I mean it’s weird oh you guys you guys are J Bel there I didn’t know yeah those you the Deep Woods people yeah for sure but did did you speak like that did you ever don’t I speak like it now um not really just a
Little this is basically what I’ve always had but when I get drunk people really think I’m Irish but I’m not in Canada right so yeah even Irish people ask me what part of Ireland knows from the last time I was in the UK so really no yeah yeah yeah for real that’s
Fun yeah well I don’t know it’s fun I mean it’s I found it embarrassing I feel I don’t know women find the Irish accent very attractive so I think you could yeah well that’s why I drank so much to bring out the Irish that’s when you started talking to
The ladies that’s if you were like a eight deep when you went to the Golf Show you’d be like hello there ladies I know how I can’t do Irish accent good morning to you it was pretty good was that what that was I well something like that yeah it’s um it’s a northern
Britain hello there ladies to morning to you it’s really bad I don’t know what that what that accent is I can’t really place it I can’t even to compare it to anything the world would be my oyster if I could do accents I could do accents from all around the world and you
Wouldn’t know where I’m from but I can’t pull it off well you know what though if you did that accent just in general conversation with strangers they would be so many guesses oh yeah yeah no I uh well I’m telling you I think that’s when you walk in with the
Eight beer deep then you walk into the Golf Show and then really are drawn to yeah because apparently there’s two women there yeah two women without men there were other women there but no men so you know they were chaperon The Other Women yeah yeah chaperon I wonder if just you
Know like they have gyms just for women would there be a golf show just for women they take all the idiots out of there I mean maybe I should start that that would be cool there you go Gina well as we did as we did the podcast I
Found it uh Illuminating that uh you know Gina you experienced it but we’re talking about people that are women are not comfortable golfing you know yeah that’s wild I wasn’t aware of that as a as a thing I think it’s just because we weren’t allowed on courses for a long
Long time sure so it kind of I think it is a male obviously it’s it’s it’s a ma still a male dominated um industry right so like the people running the golf clubs the people um taking care of the golf courses like all that is still very male
So I think when it comes to appealing to women it’s just been a really slow uh curve but I think I think most courses like obviously they recognize that there is a large subsect of the population that really wants to golf wants to learn right um wants to be part
Of like business meetings on the golf course because the last thing you want is to just be like oh yeah I don’t Golf and then suddenly you’re not getting a promotion there’s that aspect of it right um but it’s it’s just been a slow um it’s it’s been slow to like attract
With women to the game I think mostly like the women who’s like who um have husbands that Golf and then they end up golfing I think there’s like a lot of women like that and then they join women’s leagues but attracting women um from the it just has a bad sort of like
Stigma they’re like are we even allowed to go I don’t know we’re gonna get a lot of comments and then they hear me on this podcast and they’re like see I’m gonna get comments well I think now that there’s one left-handed lady that right all the
Bar have been taken down that was the last one that is it yeah I mean she is she is white but yes right there you go I mean that is a whole other other well yeah when it comes to affluent white women uh tennis has done a much better job of integrating them
Than golf somehow yeah you know um when it comes to uh Hispanic women both Sports have done a poor job um but we’re getting there yeah wasn’t it condesa rice was she was the only woman allowed um at Augusta I think was the first female member I think member yeah yeah
Which was not that long ago like maybe six or seven years ago uh condalisa rice yeah yeah um wasn’t didn’t they just start allowing black people uh not long ago Tiger Woods maybe or you know what I mean like yeah he was part of all that they’re like well I
Guess we’ll allow Tig it’s like oh my god well they’re like listen if we allow black people we got to allow women at some point right yeah I mean when tiger when tiger first won in 97 I think it was 97 he won the Masters do you
Remember the quote from fuzzy Zeller I think next year the infamous quote he said uh because the the whoever wins the Masters the next year gets to pick the menu for the Champions dinner and fuzzy Zeller came was interviewed and he said uh I just hope that boy doesn’t choose
Chicken and Waffles or something like or chicken and grits or something like that fried chicken and coll greens and collared greens yeah something like that it was like oh Jesus he called him a boy though he didn’t call him a boy he said that boy he said that boy that’s wild
Yeah cuz uh he could have if he just went with fried chicken and collar greens um he could have been like this is just a that’s a that’s a decent guess but but if you’re going starting it off with boy I’m like oh come on man
Or you know like chicken and biscuit and gravies or something like you’d be like I just thought he probably like chicken biscuit and gravy you know but uh you know fuzzy uh well you know what what is he’s a South African no no he’s American American oh geeez I’m sorry to throw
Them under the bus remember when Mike Weir won and fuzzy Zeller was all like oh it’s gonna be all maple syrup and poutine next year goddamn lefties yeah got a lot of that Lefty boy yeah that Lefty boy you know In fairness to uh you know fuzzy he had a lot of dietary
Requirements it was more on his mind I don’t know why you’re coming on the side of of fuzzy yeah this is a your second attempt to come on the fzy in the story that’s the weird part he had IBS for Christ’s sake he was [ __ ] his pants
That guy had to wear three pairs of pants every time he he played a tournament for Christ’s sake I didn’t bring it up do you know do you actually know who he is uh FY I thought he was a South African um one but that be that
His dietary you thought he was a South African pant [ __ ] uh not the most accurate description that’s South Africa that shits his pants right no no that is not it seems inaccurate I’m like he does [ __ ] his pants though I don’t know okay maybe not South Africa
But I thought it was common knowledge I don’t know anyway the man’s you know he was sponsored by em modium for [ __ ] [Laughter] sakes you remember his hat am [Laughter] modium just Pepto Bismol oh yeah the pans guy had the whole thing we all pink yeah either way great guy great guy not
Misunderstood misunderstood misunderstood he was a misunderstood racist um his racism his racism was primarily culinary it was certainly there uh I have to tell I have to tell a standup story this isn’t has this has nothing to do with golf but I just need to share this story with uh with you
Three I’m so as I said I’m hosting all week at Absolute Comedy Wednesday night was the amateur night uh you never know what you’re going to get with amateurs uh some of them are really excited and this is the biggest night of their of their month and others are completely
Ill prepared and whatever but anyway show is going great we had seven amateurs and then the headliner I brought up all six amateurs and it was about to bring on the last amateur and uh so I’m obviously we’re well into the show if you’ve never even done Absolute
Comedy before you know there’s a very specific path to get to the stage but if you just watch the comedians who are going to the stage you can pretty easily figure out the path so I intro the guy who’s on Seventh and I know where he’s
Sitting he’s sitting in the back and he just keeps sitting there and he doesn’t move and I’m like uh would you like to come on the stage and he gets up and for D and Monty’s purposes he walks he’s upstairs he walks down through the middle the curtain is closed and tries
To come to the stage from the middle of the of the room which does not work did he did he walk over a table he was trying to so then he goes back up the stairs and then slowly walks his way down and finally comes down and to the
Stage and so I’m on stage it’s awkward silence for like 2 minutes and I’m trying to be like what do I do here do I do bits do I like so I’m I don’t want to make fun of him I don’t want to but whatever and he proceeds to get on
Stage and was telling the most incoherent material I’ve ever heard in my life not like no jokes no punchlines he was literally like you know you go and McDonald and the girl is like this and you’re like I don’t want that and then you go
Over to the place and then like it was that for seven minutes to Dead Silence Dead Silence finally after seven and a half minutes he’s getting the light he goes well seven minutes of death and that gets a laugh but I think it was more like a sympathy laugh like
The audience was like oh that’s something kind of funny but he doesn’t get off stage he just keeps going oh no and the lights are like shining and the managers are going crazy and finally they were like Nick you got to go get him and I was like are you serious and
They’re like yep so I had to walk to the stage and be like okay uh you’re done um I’m sorry and he like left and the A and the crowd was just looking at me like what is happening what is this we ended up turning the show around and it was
Fine and the headliner had a good Set uh and then after words I went up and I apologized to him because I was like I’m sorry that I had to do that but like you he was on he was on for 10 minutes at
That stage when I when I took him off he was meant to do seven and he was like I was like you know you weren’t seeing the light and so I had to kind of take you off and he was like what what light I’m
Like no like the light that we get like you have to look for the light he’s like oh do comedians do that they have to like look for light and I was like oh my God this guy has no idea no he’s not serious about no it was wild that was it
That’s the story it was just insane sounds amazing yeah I I’m thinking about this guy’s an opener I’ll connect to you Monty oh but yeah that kind of chaos that’s crazy did he leave in the right direction or did he did he go into the audience no I think he left on the
Right direction but he was just sort of baffled by everything walk to the wall I’ve never yeah I’ve seen a mod an amateur night but I’ve not seen that that was I’ve seen bombs like I’ve seen people like I won’t say who like bomb epically on like a pro case or something
And not get a single laugh but I’ve never seen that degree of just everything was a bomb getting to the stage was a bomb the material was a bomb everything everything was a bomb getting to Stage yeah which was the more Awkward walk him going to the stage or Gina and
Her friend walking through the Golf Show what you say get these ladies out of here what are they ladies now what’s going on like who are these guys I actually I think my walk to the stage was more Awkward than his walk to the stage because me walking to the
Stage knowing I had to hook somebody was just like oh I don’t know how to do this this is rough wish had a cane that I know yink I and you made that sound y yink well they it was either that or they were we were debating backstage like
Whether going on the microphone and saying okay you’re done and we were debating what classic to do it what is the worst thing and they determined that the worst thing was going over the mic and saying you’re done yeah I I I like you coming to the stage also like
There’s I I think I would have really made fun of the guy but like just like light-heartedly you know I think there’s I actually made fun of the audience and that actually worked cuz what I did is I said you guys are [ __ ] for laughing when he said seven minutes of hell
That’s I’m like you’re all just [ __ ] and then that kind of like they were they were kind of relieved and then I I went and did some material and kind of got them back but yeah it was wild it was crazy anyway I would have uh
Definitely made fun of him to on the walk right I’d be like this is Imagine The I’ve never seen this kind of anticipation before an amateur night this guy’s is he you somebody just imagine sitting in the audience for an entire show for like a good I’ll say at
That point like hourong show and seeing everybody walk to the stage and then just having no clue on how to get to the stage no this guy sounds like a uh mentally Divergent yeah he’s next week’s guest actually we’re gonna have guests again on the podcast he’s really into golf
Yeah that’s right that’s awesome I I wow that’s the that’s wild buddy well um did he have an explanation for what happened zero zero did you talk to him afterwards I did I apologized and he was just like as I said he was baffled that there was
A light and he was he he just he was like yeah no just uh I don’t I I didn’t ask him but I I have a feeling he had never done standup once before because there was nothing prepared and it’s not like he had notes even someone who’s
Their first time who like brings a notebook on stage you’re like okay that’s I get that not really supposed to but he had nothing he was just rambling and not supposed to you’re not supposed to have notes on stage people don’t like well I mean people don’t like it but who
The hell cares frankly I do it I do it in the since the pmic I do it debor djani does it and she’s funnier than 99.9% of anybody who’s doing comedy so maybe like half the time I’ll keep it in my back pocket but sometimes especially when I’m hosting because I’ll blank on
People’s names that are coming up so if I’m hosting I’m I have my notebook out and I’ve only ever had one audience member be like you know that’s really unprofessional you having a notebook on stage and I’m like then come and try to [ __ ] do this then yeah honestly oh
It’s really well I for me it’s just to stay on topic I I like to keep one because if I’m especially if I’m doing new jokes I’ll but they are and yeah I definitely bring a sheet if I’m doing new jokes yeah yeah and I’m like well at
Least this way I’ll stay on topic and I won’t just divert to doing some something that I know you know something else and what’s the point of that but some clubs some clubs do like give you [ __ ] if you bring notes on stage yeah they don’t like it people don’t like it
But that guy should have had some notes regarding um Eng or I would asked him why his words didn’t go together like other people’s words go together I’m like your your words don’t go together the same way that other people go together it’s like you’re they’re more
Um AV on guard or whatnot um how why I feel like they that’s complimentary to say Avon I would say well yes definitely it’s definitely smoothing it out a little bit um you sound like a b idiot is there a particular reason why or I
Mean I meant to have on guard I’m sorry I I don’t know if we’ve asked Gina this Gina have you ever done straight standup yeah no not straight standup but I’ve hosted comedy nights before Oh you have I I make people laugh but do you do you
Go up with prepared material when you host or do you yeah I’ll like think of a bit beforehand interesting like something I keep coming back to like a sort of through line so in between acts I’m talking about something or um yeah yeah I like plan for it but oh that
That’s pretty much standup I thought your little Jeep sketch there that you did was pretty funny oh thanks thanks yeah I like do stuff like that but I I thought about the time when you when you were living in a jeep but I didn’t see
That yeah I still need to write off my Jeep as like a work expense you know so as a house expense for God right yeah no I was thinking like a Jeep is like part of an extension of my home that I use for work or like do you have auto
Insurance or you have home insurance for the Jeep which do you have I have both yeah Capital Direct um do you ever do you do would you ever strive to do standup do you want to do like a five minute standup spot I would
Love to actually be but um I the thing I don’t want to do is start caring about it and then I have yet another Avenue I care about and I’m trying at and it’s hard and I’m grinding do you know what I mean totally oh you think dud are
Awkward at the golf show wait till you go to a standup night with a bunch of [ __ ] amateur guys oh dear go yeah you’re G you’re going to run to those 75-year-old golf [ __ ] Jus some of these goddamn incels that are at open mics oh my god
Well you know don’t worry don’t worry Gina I’ll come out as well to normalize the evening for you I have to tell you a lot moned one of the normal comedians yes we should I think I I I’m sure we’ve talked about this but why don’t we do a show why
Don’t we A Book Like comedy Bar East we can have Gina host and then three of us do do a little standup set that be fun sure we care that super fun absolutely I like stand up all right do you yeah I also like doing it yeah I’m bringing notes
Though I’m bringing no notes and I’m not putting sentences together anymore I’m just going to say random words one at a time and don’t even get me don’t even try to guess how I’m going to get to that stage I am coming from a direction that no one sees com
That that is amazing you know what would be good actually though um I’d like to do this maybe for a show I don’t don’t steal it from me guys if there’s some sort of um stuff on the stage be lying in a pile of rubble or whatever and wait
Until you know just stay there for you know much of the evening and then once and then if you’re headlining you get out of the pile of rubble that’s why you bought the camo golf shirt that you just wna you want to lie in a in a in some
Grass and then hid it’s time to get up am I making this up or did Jim Carrey hide in a piano once or something like that I don’t I didn’t see that I might be making it up or someone told me that that that happened one time there was a
Piano on stage and either he finished his set and he crawled in the piano and stayed there for the rest of this the night damn or he started there and came out of it when he was introduced or something wow which I don’t know how
Much room is in a piano I’ve never Gina you play piano could a person fit in a piano yeah I think so yeah I’d like to try now that you said it she’s looking for a new home yeah she’s coming out of pianos yeah ever since the flood she’s looking for alternate
Housing could a could a piano float if there’s another flood could a that can be your first album as a comedian straight out of a piano yeah so Gina we we do a show you’re the MC yeah we ask you to do like five minutes off the top before you bring let’s say
Me on first what do you prepare material do you go up do you just it like I I would prepare material but I would try to keep it like loose for myself I see would you be nervous no I well well I shouldn’t say
No but I I’ve mced enough right I I I’m an MC and I’m a um and I’ve hosted to comedy night so I think I I think I wouldn’t be nervous but I’m I’m also like because I did improv and stuff like used to things like not hitting and I’m
Not afraid of like failing a little bit but because I I think at the end of the day my like broadcast and mcing skills would I smooth it over so even if like a joke didn’t work I would just know know to move on um so wouldn’t be like when
You’re playing golf with a designer of a course and you’re making jokes constantly about the course who put a tree there stuff like that the thing I faced um sometimes like I’m seeing uh charity for Charities or like my even my friends weddings and stuff it’s like I
Have a very sarcastic dry sense of humor and sometimes I push a little too hard and so I think a comedy I a comedy venue is is better suited to me yeah that’s good that would be really fun I would like to try to do five straight minutes though I mean that’s
Different than just like doing an intro and then moving on sure yeah yeah it’s a little bit more than it’s a little bit different than you’d be used to but yeah that’s going to help a lot your experience yeah yeah I mean I would I
Think in a comedy venue um if you ever feel like if you want to drop something dry on them I try to allude to them being worthless bastards as much as I can and um that usually you know it sets the tone I’m like ah this guy doesn’t really like us I gotch
You that’s like Joe Koy from the Golden Gloves you guys saw that oh my God gosh see I think the problem there it’s like yeah his jokes weren’t great but the the biggest issue was him not being able to recover in between like that’s where the professionalism comes in and I
Don’t know what you guys think about this but like your jokes can be not great but if you’re like like he started devolving in between just being like my writers wrote that yeah he threw his writers under the bus that’s crazy to me he’s like whatever guys I just got the
Gig like he got really defensive and it’s like you can you can like charm people you can chat you can like relax and like okay so your jokes didn’t hit perfectly but like it’s how I think it’s how you deal with it yeah for sure you
Could do a lot of you know you could talk about how you’re bombing especially if you’re um he’s only coming on every once in a while right he doesn’t have to be yeah he’s not he’s not doing a full set right I’m assuming he mced well at
The start I mean he does has to do probably about 10 to 15 off the top so it’s a bit of a monologue kind of thing I mean that’s a high pressure gig shows how hard that is to be standing up there in front of the entire industry
Yeah what was it the Golden Globes that’s like um that’s for movies right it’s for everything and TV movies and TV oh yeah yeah I called a woman the seword last night on stage I’ve never done that before uh it was it was a lot of fun she
Liked it you called her Carol yeah Carol uh and she had a name tag on so I that’s how I knew to say it uh but she she took it great like I’m not usually not that aggressive she was just being very loud and obnoxious kind of and uh I said it
And everyone laughed and she laughed too and then she referred to herself as said keyword uh seword later so it worked out buddy yeah I remember once I called a table of women that yeah and I actually got an Applause breaks did you was when I was
Young and Charming as you can be calling that I got to say darl that head shot that is of you and absolute is remarkable I got to take a photo of that maybe I’ll post that on Instagram later that’s it’s the hair is Flowing you look
Young and innocent and hot not that long ago that’s the funny part really wow no it’s you know it’s from the 2000s it’s from the mid 2010 2011 I’ll take a that head shot really yeah the old head shot that people still use that’s the one
Where I the I think I don’t know if I told the story here before but I uh so yeah on that podcast I not me that podcast I head shot on probably about 20 pounds lighter with long hair yeah and uh long hair long long hair yeah yeah
And uh maybe about six five or six years ago someone used it for a gig and I have long I’ve had short hair for the last 10 years or something and I put on an extra 20 at that point I probably put on about 40 pounds
But um I walked in and the organizer of the show literally went oh I feel like I’ve been catfished and I was like oh that’s that makes me feel good going into this show yeah that’s a that’s a start and then she brought it up with the other people
Doesn’t he doesn’t look at anything like us like his picture doesn’t it seem like we’ve been head we’ve been catfished and I was just stand can we stop saying the word catfish like I had nothing to do with which head shot they used but oh my God
Yeah it was so bad darl I know I know how you felt though because I I was part of an acting class once and and the acting teacher was like bring in your head shot let’s look at all everyone’s head shot and we’ll kind of like audit
Them like break them apart like are they good matches for you blah blah blah so I bring in my head shot and he like I’m really dressed down in the class and I’m pretty dressed up in the show shot and he like looks at it and he goes You
Wish Jesus what yeah and I was like well no like when I have my hair done and makeup on like I’m not like like I think I look I think I look like that I just started defending myself wow you wish wish to my own face yeah was he
Suggesting you brought a picture of a different woman he’s suggesting that like he I wish that I would look like that but I don’t actually it’s you yeah I know it was like so but it’s it’s the Daryl thing that he’s talking is this kind of like where guys think if they’re jerks
To women they’ll get laid is this what he was trying to do he was ning you yeah or more money because some acting teachers are like we’ll rip them apart and build them back up you know mentality make her feel terrible about herself and like she needs
Me I can tell you Daryl’s headshot does look like him although he does look U he looks different but I mean does it’s not like no it’s him catfishing uh I mean you do look like that picture reminds me of uh you look like a guy who’s a young
Man who’s doing quite well in Narnia you look like an elf that’s about town you know what I mean like this guy is you know he’s he’s doing quite well one of the top elves yeah one of the top elves uh I think the catfish was the better
Comment no you have you have an Elvin quality in that photo there elephant quality is that what you said no no Elvin Elvin oh the the elves yeah there it is yeah that’s awesome yeah go on YouTube now everyone you can see the photo isn’t that great that’s what a
Yeah yeah yeah that was yeah that 2009 2010 that was actually taken in Trinity Bellwoods oh in the park I was sitting on a table or something has it was taken or chair I can’t remember it was so long ago um yeah yeah so well I don’t think
Your face looks any different I think that the hair is drastically different so maybe that’s part of it and also just like the the look like you give off something different in that photo then you give off in real life sexiness you mean that’s that’s now picture that you
And your friend walking into the Golf Show and that guy just running away from you hair flowing in the wind you like yeah you look koi in that photo like Joe koi yeah Middle Middle Earth [Laughter] earthshare you’re like God damn it if another man calls me an elf I’ve had
Enough of this guy Dam no no one in my whole life has ever called me an elf I can honestly say that they’re they’re some of the most attractive people in the mystical world are they yeah thank you K thank you for that compliment yeah yeah no I mean it’s
Just you got to yeah a certain amount of Middle Earth to you in that picture I think CU you look small like you look shorter in the for some reason you look like a shorter well it’s taken above me yeah think that is you’re like tall right no I’m
Not tall I’m like just under 5’11 like literally 510 and three4 or something like that so definitely not considered tll oh buddy you can round that one up just go 511 who’s gonna call you on that oh my God a friend of mine one time we we were like literally in the same
Room together having a beer and we talked about he’s like you know me me and you are the same height and I was like no I’m actually taller than you he’s like no we’re both 5’8 I’m like I’m 5’11 almost and he’s like you’re not five don’t ever try to tell someone your
You’re 5’11 cuz you are not 5’11 I was like what and I honestly kind of started to ble him like did I lose three inches like I don’t understand like and then I when he was standing up I and I was like looking right into like I was so much
Taller than him I was like what are you talking about so the measurements were correct except for his yeah you know he was coming in at 5’8 yeah I don’t know if yeah yeah it was weird I was taller than him for sure but well that is that is well cuz who
Who the hell’s going to call you on three quarters I mean like what the if somebody if I told someone I’m like 57 like you know you’re actually uh you know uh 56 and four fifths i’ like what are we building a space laser based on my [ __ ] measurements what the the
Hell are you talking about I think for me there’s a like I I hate something that’s always driven me nuts is that I’m shorter than my dad was oh interesting now you’re not supposed to be shorter than your father I don’t think that’s not fair it depends on your mother
H it depends on your mother my mother wasn’t a short woman well well and her brothers were taller than my dad so what the hell happened I don’t understand my brother’s 63 for God’s sakes why didn’t I he’s not even 6’2 and three quarters he’s
63 wow well my dad was is your height and but my mom was 5 foot tall yeah my mom wasn’t difficult to surpass my dad on that I tried to dunk over him good not failed did he give you a little finger away yeah anyway that’s the story of me being
Catfished we can close after my life that was great thank you darl gaslighting you all over the place darl oh my God what a day yeah like you’re not who you think you are if you don’t want a low opinion I have of myself that’s hard to to knock me down from
That well that that’s wild I well see you guys this weekend I are you coming on Saturday tomorrow on Saturday awesome all right yesterday I’m sure it was great we can all pose with my head shot oh yeah yeah let’s actually that’s a great idea that’s funny I actually
Have about I think it’s 8 years now of every time I’ve been at the club I take a picture with your head shot really I’d say I’ve got you know six or 700 of those pictures it’s it’s I’m going to put it together for I don’t know maybe when we make 2030
Or whatever I’m G put together in a um what do you call that a kaleidoscope what do they call those things calendar moving calendar ah I see you know what’s a weird thing Absolute Comedy doesn’t they use something that’s not even my head shot and it’s literally the
Promotional shot for when I did my comedy now in 2001 and they use that in Ottawa which I’m very confused about it sounds like you need to do a new head shot session I had new head shots for like 202 it was during the pandemic I got a
New headshot taken that I use yeah yeah but no one ever uses it they sometimes use for me they sometimes use a photo bolus on tanos took of me in a comedy condo in Windsor and it’s not a head shot it’s never it’s not even highr it’s
Just you’re asleep at the time yeah basically but the absolute just uses that sometimes what’s a comedy condo like the usually when you go to out of town to do a show some clubs will have a condo that you stay in oh cool okay okay okay yeah awesome all if everything we
All get drunk we can all stay at the comedy condo in Toronto this weekend because you can I’m here Nick’s got the keys yeah he’s staying there way staying there Nick yeah yeah oh forget about it oh he’s been balling all weekend so many broads look out oh great I mean listens
To this there’s no broads I listen he’s been using my picture walking around young my picture staple to his head yeah and people are like no you’re cat people are like you’re catfishing me that’s not you you have a framed picture Tes your head I guess like this is why is he looking
Up all the time I don’t said is that just me or do you have a framed picture on your face bro but yes I am interested I’m not feel like he’s trying to catfish us uh no I’m looking forward to the show because this well this comes out after
The show but I think this will be the first time I’ve mced for with both of you on the show no no no no I midd when we were in when we were in Kingston I was middling no UMC at Toronto and mon did Monty headline with USC oh yes my
Birthday yeah that’s right yeah okay tomorrow night has your birthday okay I might even leave the car at home wow forget about it kid me right on the subway line right yeah but the subway is ter did I oh man I was on the subway for
The first time in a long time last week and first of all there was a giant homeless guy sexually harassing Every Woman oh good that came didn’t even come near him he just went to them yeah he would be like holding on to the bar and
Like gyrating in their faces and he was so big that every other guy I was we’re all just standing there going what we what do we do because he’s so big like he’s massive like and then uh literally as I’m watching him do that I look
Beside me and there’s a guy putting like drugs into like a pipe not hash or or pot smoking what’s either Crystal meth or like was crack right on the on the train Jesus Christ and then on the way home another homeless guy with a giant boom box was walking through and then he
Stops right in front of me and puts it down and then he’s wrapping along and he just starts making up his own lurks about how he wants to kill white people as he stared at me and like you know what I don’t think the Subway’s meant
For me anymore I don’t think I’m a Subway guy anymore I don’t think this is the better way no no Jesus chist no it was not fun damn I don’t know what line you takeing the the L train through the Bronx or some [ __ ] scar yeah the shut down
Scarboro line rid taking the old one two what’s the one that goes across blower Dan forth yeah there’s only two numbers and I can’t I don’t know either a third number isn’t it the way up off a Shepherd that one yeah yeah that’s May I don’t I don’t I don’t use I
Don’t go numerically I just go green the blur line but you take the blur line that things like that don’t happen to you it’s because you look like you’re from some country no one can figure out well there’s that weird accent of yours no no I’ve not I’ve not I’ve not
Seen it sometimes you see uh you know obviously some um mentally old people but I I didn’t um I actually tried to help an old man but it turned out he was just being mentally ill because he he still help those people Monte just so
You know no but I was like but he didn’t he nah I I was coming out of the station with this big like a whole Monte into believing there was something wrong with him yeah I’m like I didn’t know you were mental man um he’s like yo I had my
Headphones and I was like yo can somebody help me can somebody help me and I was like yo you need some help and he’s like nah n Monty reading the signs yeah yeah I was like yo want some help because he at the top train professional oh yeah he’s at the
Top of the steps with the cane I thought he was just the one guy who needs a hand down these steps but um maybe I was too aggressive maybe I maybe I was like I’ll give you a hand down the steps then you shoved them yeah I didn’t like called me
Off few people know this but Monty does Moonlight as a personal support worker this his spare time yeah yo what the hell’s it matter with you you all right and then what happened you tried to help him down and what happened no no he said he didn’t need help he was just uh
Mumbling you know what I mean oh I was like oh okay the other night yeah I was like I didn’t know this was a rhetorical Cry for Help all right F that guy just has a hard time going anywhere just getting to places he just struggles spatially confused yeah I’m like all right
Man imagine if that amateur comic was just like help and Monte comes bursting through the doors well you need help i’ I’ve heard you need help I’ll help get you off this goddamn stage mental health issues put this on your face and you hand him my head
Shot this will help no charm them you you stupid bastard oh man well that’s a good place says any to wrap it up I think uh that was a lot of good golf talk uh looking forward to seeing you Gina on Saturday that’ll be fun oh you’re not looking
Forward to see oh of course it goes with that saying I don’t know if Jeff can come yet but I might bring someone else if he can’s oh bring left-handed lady yeah I’ll last left-handed lady because Monty will sing to her all night long left-handed [Applause] [Laughter]
Lady plus I think we could M and I could make a scramble team it would’ be nice oh yeah there you go true uh thanks for listening and watching everyone thanks comedy records uh yeah we’ll see you next week byebye God bless you God bless you
All that was what the L Henry lur used to call the tradesman’s entrance now you know it doesn’t count as the trad’s entrance it goes in the side it goes in the back
