Self-control is powerful.
Developing it? Now that’s a whole different story.
Luckily, we have Ryan Holiday once again to guide us in how-to develop the self-control and discipline that will shape our destinies.
In this episode, we learn and discuss:
-Who our “Cato” is/was
-An overview of self-discipline, how it’s not a punishment, and the mission to be great through the cultivation and control of it
-Lou Gehrig vs. Babe Ruth in an Age of Athletic Alibis
-Self-Control of The Body
-Self-Control of The Temperament
-Self-control of The Soul
-Self-control metaphors
-The Most Valuable Idea on self-control from Discipline is Destiny
-Self Control Daily Challenge
-How Gehrig’s eulogy is what we all should shoot for
Like what you heard? Read the 2nd book in Ryan’s stoicism series here or wherever books are sold: https://bookshop.org/a/89519/9780593191699
Thank you for the opportunity to teach and preach to you, and for learning what lasts in athletics along with us.
Who was/is YOUR Cato? Which area of Ryan’s self-control framework are you strong in? Could use work in? The Body, Mind, Soul?
Let us know in the comments.
Be sure to like and subscribe to support the channel.
Never stop learning everybody.
We are recording hey everybody Welcome to the Mr teacher Mr preacher podcast and YouTube channel I am the teacher I’m Kevin that’s Jake he is our preacher and R residence and we are here to learn a little bit more about what lasts in athletics and teach and preach it back
To you the coach primarily athletes parents anybody that really is looking for an autotelic experience today we are after self-control we are on to a new block Jake we’ve covered the entire bottom row of John Wood’s pent of success and now we’re moving to that second level I feel
Like we’ve made it a long ways looking back we’re going to that second level we’re looking at self-control um we will Define that as we go forward here um and really looking at what can we control what is worth controlling how do we do go about that so we have things today
Such as the bul Durham respect test the best test the opponent that can contain Michael Jordan I know that seems a little bit crazy but it the E the opponent that contained Michael Jordan and so much more including things like coffins control Banquets battles Bluffs breaks and everything in between so it’s gonna
Be a great great time looking at Ryan holiday’s discipline as Destiny uh but Jake I’m going to turn it to you bless this episode for us about self-control um in all things physically mentally spiritually and and and in athletics and otherwise because Lord knows we could use some self-control these
Days absolutely heavenly father thank you for another glorious day uh sun coming up and H another hopeful night of of rest and and a new day of new beginnings and and new possibilities I pray that you would bless this time just thanks so much for Kevin um his wisdom and his
Thirst for knowledge that you have put in his heart I thank you for our audience who are also seeking wisdom and discernment and understanding and I thank you um for the ability to to talk about self-control and the ability to develop discipline um to gain self-control Lord knows we we all need
Help with that um whether it’s from above whether it’s from a neighbor we thank you for the communities that you have put in life um to keep us accountable and to help us along this journey pray all these things in Jesus name amen amen all right if you’re new we
Follow structure deeper reading model So reading books pulling out lessons we follow Kelly Gallaghers he’s a famous Reading Writing teacher out in California deeper reading M so we start off and we focus the reader so we’re in this concept of self-control and Jake I wanted to start out with another puzzle
Of a question of who’s your KO now I’m going to build to that okay so who’s your KO and they’re like you’re dudes you’re talking about Athletics and you’re some stoic philosopher yes yes we are so what I mean here is somebody who you’ve truly marveled at in the a it
Doesn’t have to be in the athletic World necessarily but we’ll we’ll stay there but somebody in the end it says in the beginning here uh what endures what we truly Marvel at according to Ryan holiday is not the ambition but the self-mastery so like we say Okay somebody achieved something cool that
Most people get that right like you won the thing but what we really Marvel at is the self-mastery the self-awareness the temperance the control of self he goes on um a page later he said that name someone truly great without self-discipline not possible name one calamitous undoing that was not at least
In part rooted in a lack of self-discipline more than Talent life is about temper temperament and Temperance and so late in the book this was this was a fun find is is mentioned KO and KO was this individual that was looked up to by a number of famous people and
So this is what it says some 100 years after Ko’s death so KO lived this life of a stoic let’s just say senica advised that we should all choose ourselves a KO a ruler to measure ourselves against now I don’t usually advise comparing yourself to anybody but like somebody to
Aspire to right that’s kind of what I’m looking at a model to inspire us to be what we’re capable of being when nuro’s grons came to kill senica he drew on Ko’s example for strength in the last moments of his life some 1700 years after that George Washington would model
His entire life on K’s example choosing his famous Mantra from the mouth of the hero of his hero the two men had never met KO but he made them stronger his discipline stiffened their spine when it counted to reach your destiny will require such a hero so Jake that’s where
I want to start could be body could be mind could be soul but talk to me about somebody who’s your KO so as athlete um or even as a coach you kind of take this wherever you want it but somebody you’ve marveled at who had that self-mastery in some domain you’re like
That’s awesome I what’s that what’s been that to you um you knowing it personally it’s tough one thing that I’ve so Mark Wahlberg has a schedule apparently that’s ridiculous like the guy’s getting up at like 4:30 every day or I know you listen to like these guys like Jaa willing like yeah
Get up at 4:30 and whatever and some of it’s like well yeah I don’t go over to bed till 10:30 but I wake up at 4:30 I I’m not capable of functioning on that little of sleep so there are humans who can do that I think Elon Musk functions
On about three hours of sleep every night or something ridiculous um but I know wallberg Wahlberg was one that I heard was interesting that’s that’s sweet I wish I could do that I mean I probably can um but getting up at 4:30 getting a workout in getting breakfast getting another
Workout in and then it’s like 7:00 finally um and it’s a guy that could easily with the money that he’s made lay in bed till 11:00 uh without a care or worry in the world um and think maybe one that I more intimately know is probably my wife is
Pretty amazing to me um to consistently put the needs of others above herself and to have such discipline doing so like no dinner has to get made house has to get clean some may find that Preposterous if I told her that she she’d probably find it Preposterous too but like for me mhm
I just don’t have the willpower to do those things I look at the floor plenty of times like I can do it later um but she never does that right um she’s constantly disciplined enough to always take care of other people like it’s mindblowing to me she probably doesn’t
Look at it that way but to me it’s certainly something that I Marvel at to always be willing to put yourself second um for your family is is certainly something to Marvel at well well said I I didn’t I’ve seen wallberg schedule and I don’t even know if I
Could do it for a day because I’ve seen him train too like I mean there’s video evidence like it’s not like a mystery now granted he does have it all right there I mean it’s his house and doesn’t make it easier um who knew we romance Channel Jake
Because I’m just trying to like picture this as a CO like I’m like I’m going to say I’m a dad I’m a coach like hey three advice like I’m just talking to a coach with a spouse okay walk up to your spouse say the most romantic thing you
Can say with like all the compassion and like like just just I don’t know how you want it but to add it really heavy say it’s slow honey you’re my K you’re my KO you know my KO baby would that land I mean is that foreplay God dang like I
Mean I don’t think that would work but you know I don’t think it would land no I don’t know unless you read the book um you know I I’ll go to the athletic realm here and go a little bit different so when I was a middle schooler my uncle
Got married to my aunt her roomi my aunt her is Japanese so when this wedding happened her entire family came over now this is exactly when dates me a little bit icho came to the United States so he was all the rage all right and I’ve had
A long long fascination of Japanese East Asian culture just honor ritual um orderliness I mean like if you look at American or Western baseball versus Japanese baseball I would love Japanese baseball I mean like they just Vibe with me the point of this is like in the KO conversation is is uh Ichiro
Played a long stinking time between his career in Japan and the career in the MLB and he is not a big dude I mean when you think professional athlete and you look at Ral those do not necessarily equate I’m doing I’m doing funny hand motions here uh if you’re not watching
On YouTube and so I’ve always been fascinated with routines so books like daily rituals by Mason Curry which is hilarious because how people perform in like the great aspects and how quirky they are like to be able to pull off their things like it humanizes these
Great people and how L they are not everybody is Mark Wahlberg and nor do you have to be um tools of Titans by Tim Ferris tribe and mentors I love seeing how people do the things they do so to Ichiro he had his own like weight machines very specific that he would do
Every single day like a certain amount of reps that did stability and range of motion in in and you can watch him do it they’re very cool um he was hyper mobile like just worked on his flexibility and like you watch him warm up he was very
Famous for his like on Deck you know routine I am the opposite of that I am a bull and a china shop I am short stocky I got probably more muscle less less flexibility and I’m the antithesis of icho so that’s probably why it was The
Lure is like w you know look at how this guy did this and he not only could hit he could run he could hit for power he threw stinking 90 plus miles an hour even at 40 plus years old um so it’s fun to have people like this K not
Necessarily KO I mean you could have KO if you want um that you look up to you aspire to and say do I have Ichiro’s not necessar his routine specifically but discipline do I have Tom Brady’s thirst for improvement do I have and they become something that we
Can say not to compare to to denigrate us but to to Aspire to I mean because if Washington and senica are doing it I think it’s good enough for the rest of us M so Petro 511 175 debuted at the age of 27 and still managed to amass 3,000
Hits never gonna happen again he was he was one of a kind One of a Kind I’m gonna have to look that up again because I’ve seen it before and I still like those machines they’re kind of hard to track down um it’s always fun to try out
People’s routines too so as I know you said you couldn’t do wah Burks just even staring at it it still is fun to try out people’s r I think like there was a series I know we’re reading Ryan holiday um like this is how I work I love those
Because you know you kind of like throw yourself like hey I’m kind of like that or I couldn’t do that um for fun since we’re on it if you stay if if you take in his Japanese stats he had 573 professional hits 5,000 500 573 professional hits a career 300 322
Average jez if you take his nine Seasons playing in Japan too good Lord that’s pretty ridiculous is ridiculous so you need self-control people in order to pull this up so let’s transition to that first first draft reading how do we develop selfcontrol like that how do we
Aspire to something what are we aspiring to so in our self-control series wooden defines us as practicing self-discipline and keeping emotions under control we will get to emotions just not primarily in this book two other books are much better better for that good judgment and Common Sense are essential so this book
Is about that good judgment Common Sense holistically so Ryan holiday is writing this series about the four cardinal virtues we’ve got courage that was courage is calling that was book one this is book two which is called discipline is Destiny the power of self-control how fitting of a book to do
Um when we’re studying self-control and the third one going to be on Justice and the fourth wisdom just so I can complete that so this is the sequel to courage’s calling um it is a book let me read in Ryan’s words Hold on said it hold on I
Said it and it sounded so wrong and I was looking at the wrong column 4367 Le sound like knucklehead saying that he had 573 hits he had 573 doubles there we Go’s next to it four 4,36 okay continue he’s the true hit King I don’t and we’re not even debating I love Pete
Rose um so first draft reading what we’re looking at is comprehension what are we up to in self-control and what we’re this book’s aim is really about helping us choose Temperance self-control moderation composure balance that’s where we need to live and it’s good to hear those words so Ryan
Breaks this book down into three big categories or um themes called the exterior so that’s the body so we’re looking at the Physical Realm of self-control the second is the um the inner domain which is your temper and I I like to say like the cognitive
Or mental the inner game and then lastly is the magisterial which is the soul so kind of this deeper spiritual um thing and then he wrote subtopics underneath that so you were looking anywhere from 12 to 18 um mini chapters that go with it and as
Ryan does in any of his books highly recommended obstacles the way we did eag the enemy a bit back um he’s very well researched you know he draws from different eras from different um Arenas um so he gets lots of really good stories and that’s why this episode’s
Going to be the way it is so this book is just to finish off a couple things and then I’ll pass Jake if he has anything to add um before we move into our deeper topics I usually don’t say a a book is for everybody um but this book literally is
For everybody and Ryan even says it um this is a book about you know everybody benefits from self-discipline and self-control life is not fair gifts are not handed out evenly reality of this inequity is that most of us coming from a disadvantage have to be even more diff
Disciplined to have a chance Jake’s not big neither am I so what you know like we gota you gotta work with what you got they have to work harder they have less room for error so this is this is a book really for everybody um what I do want
To add here is what is self-discipline according to Ryan all right so self-discipline the virtue of temperance is even more important it’s ability to keep your butt in line so this is what this means the ability to work hard to say no to practice good habits and set
Boundaries to train and to prepare to ignore Temptations and provocations that one’s hard both of those to keep your emotions in check to endure painful diff difficulties self-discipline is giving everything you have and knowing what to hold back so it’s about balance Temperance defined is not this is key
Deprivation but command of oneself physically mentally and spiritually demanding the best of oneself even especially when no one is looking even when allowed less it takes courage to live a life of self-control and not just because it’s hard but because it sets you up apart I knew you’d love that I
Wrote that down it sets you apart going on with that talks about greatness what is greatness and the idea of self-control I’ll pause and give you a second here is later in the middle of the book we have to understand greatness is not just what one does but also what
One refuses to do I think we get into this we’re learning about a lot of stuff it’s like oh yeah do this do this do this but what about the opposite of don’t do that don’t do that don’t do that I think a not to-do list is just as
Powerful as the to-do list makes your life way simpler yep I don’t do that and so there there’s a lot that comes with it we’ll get into it um the other thing I want to acknowledge even though I hinted at it in that quote was is that discipline and self-control is not a
Punishment so I want our coaches and even if you’re an athlete to understand like this is not like a burden like oh you know there’s rules and you’re just controlling me like you know like a parent would with their kids having you know rules and expectations like hey I
Need you to have a curfew for instance so I want to read this is discipline is not a punishment it’s a way to avoid punishment we do it because why we love ourselves we value ourselves and what we do lastly um before we jump into our
Major topics is way at the end of the book is we talk about cultivation and control so why are we doing this whole thing why are we self-controlling we are here trying to actually get better today tomorrow and every moment every minute get better self-discipline is not
Something that just happens to you it is something you cultivate just doesn’t fall out of the sky being disciplined is something you prove by the life you lead lastly we have a choice we choose between self-control and Ill discipline virtue and vice it’s whatever wolf you
Feed so Jake that’s what this book is about what’s anything stand out to you from that comprehension just basic level self-control as it pertains either to life or to Athletics I thought the very interesting word that used is it’s not deprivation um I think almost everything of what you said
Really reveals uh self-discipline in a much different light than we tend to think of it um and I won’t even say self-discipline I’ll say discipline self-discipline is one thing but when we I’m thinking as a child getting disciplined by parents okay um quote unquote we view it as a very negative
Thing um on that which that’s an outstanding point it’s it’s trying to get them to avoid discipline in the future that’s a much that has much bigger consequences right that’s that’s what we have we’re playing the long game here um not the short game and that’s always seen by kids but then if
We don’t grow up and mature in that way we might not see it as adults as well but deprivation was interesting it’s not because I about you said emotion so then I was about to say well okay but we still can have emotion being self disciplined doesn’t mean you don’t have
An emotion right that would be deprivation it just me you know how to control it right you know how to funnel it you know how to process what you are feeling and not in an outburst that everyone looks that person’s eye control right um so the deprivation thing stuck out to me
Because we’re not depriving oursel of maybe um we’re not we’re not depriving oursel of something we’re learning to control ourselves around something which I think is a very key distinction yeah and and one of the exercises that I’m going to kind of parallel here I agree with this and I
Want to ask you a question off it because I didn’t actually have it is we had the Perma model of happiness and so instead of imagining um it was a scale so Perma is the happiness model from Martin Suman positive emotion engagement um relationships meaning and accomplishment
So what you can do as an assessment is you can kind of shade in those five areas kind of think like a graph and you could say well I’m a five at positive emotion I’m a 10 at meaning I’m a four and accomplishment you can
Kind of do this you know can be shaped in a unique way I want to ask you about that so when you hear these three areas just for the sake of this book you hear about the body the you hear about the temperament you hear about the soul
Which of those are you you know like I’m not asking you to assess yourself necessarily but as an athlete or a coach which one of those was kind of like yeah that one kind of came a little bit easier to me like I was able to you know
You know grab hold of that which one was like harder to like it was constant challenge I’ll speak I’ll speak for myself you know I had a high degree of perfectionism so the temperament was very hard for me especially with failure I didn’t get a lot of help around the fa
Because I put a lot of time in and the pressure would outweigh the pleasure in that context as it’s been said so I really struggled with the emotional up ups and downs of being attached to outcome right because I wanted it really badly I wanted to be good I wanted to
Win so I really struggled with that you know and when you’re a teenager your emotions are already out of whack every anyways and you catastrophized to its end I didn’t initially struggle with the body now I don’t like I love that stuff just get your sleep all you know working
Out I love that it comes very naturally to me now um and the soul is one I’m just always constantly intrigued by not that I’m good at it necessarily but I resonate with those principles and I try so I guess if you made me kind of triangulate these the ones I would need
Most growth with would have been and have been temperament body came easy and the soul is just kind of neutral how about you um you know up until what you have just laid out in terms of self I would have said that uh mentally what is what I was is what came
Easiest but that was deprivation it wasn’t self-control oo uh which I think ultimately held me back because I got rid of the emotion I did not process it um when I was younger I did to a degree like I would get mad um if someone
Crossed me and I was able to funnel that into appropriate energy on the field um but then it turned into such a stoicism you just taught you got to be levelheaded got to be levelheaded which yes but there’s a caveat to that you have to be levelheaded but that
Doesn’t mean you you get rid of the emotion that takes you through the up and down it means you learn how to handle the emotion of going through the up and down um and so I think I was largely um just devoid of any emotion in that
Regard and then you throw in the competitive side me which cares very much um and to this day I struggle playing games I like I I I now have self-control not to do it because I am aware that once I get into it I might not have the self-control to carry
Myself in a way to get through whatever thing we’re doing um so that’s why people oh why don’t you play that gam like I just don’t feel like it like if I get into it it’s not going to reflect well on me I’m going to get there started
Playing rocket league with my kids okay uh and it it’s so hard not to trash talk even the little kids so I do but I try to do it in a much more playful way and then they start beating me and do it back stinking annoying and you know then Mom
Gets upset because Dad can’t turn the game off y because I have to finish on a win like I can’t you want me to end the game by losing to this 10-year-old are you kidding me right now it’s not gonna happen no chance so that one I would said came easy but I
Think honestly it came easy just because I didn’t deal with it um physically was never was never an issue I just loved and enjoyed it so much right the the the doing of the activity um and then Soul you know that’s that’s an interesting one for me to wrap my head
Around from a secular point of view I’m really C I would be curious to hear much more from a secular point of view on that um than where I come from and I’ll Define these as we go so as we move forward we’ll go to the second draft
Second draft is where we dig into specific things about the book um sometimes we go Point by point it depends on the book and and other times I give Jake the choice um we’re not trying to cover all the book that’s probably my my weakness in book coverage
Is I like to talk about everything we don’t have time for everything so we’re trying to pick out the key things that apply to us so we are going to go Section by section so here’s how it’s going to go we’re going to start with the body I’m going to Define that we’re
All on the same page very simply cover a few topics we’ll go to temperament or the inner domain that’ll be a a pick and preach Series so I got a b and c and then we got the soul so I’ll Define that and we just got two sets there um some
Things to draw out some are some are more lofty principles others are more practical um we got a little bit of both today some books are very very tactical do a do B do c this one’s a little bit of both so let’s move into that the body let’s start with the body
And let’s define what the body really means um I like that yeah the body oh man I haven’t heard that name in a long time he’s he’s got a look um so what he’s talking about yyan he’s like in St Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians First Corinthians
We’re told to keep the body uh we’re told to keep under the body bring it into subjugation so that we will not be made a cast away so I thought that was an interesting way to start this but he says it’s not about six-pack abs or the
Avoidance of all that feels good but instead about developing the fortitude required for the path we have chosen to me what he’s describing at least through in the corresponding chapters is a foundation so you can actually do the thing you want to do it’s like not self-sabotaging so you can’t live fast
And live hard and still expect to wake up the next day and actually be able to do your thing like it’s or or if you try to do that you’re now subjugating yourself to a lesser performance just by default so it says instead about developing the for for the pathway
Children if we don’t dominate ourselves physically who and what does dominate that’s a good question outside forces laziness adversity entropy atrophy fanty words dominate your desires is what I wrote down so that’s that’s where he’s just finding that he quotes our B is our Glory our Hazard and our care so I want
To start Jake with the the Yankees and I don’t like the Yankees but I do like history with a a contrast between Lou gar and Babe Ruth and he I wish we could cover the entire chapter on Luke errick but we not going to I want you to hear
What it looks like and what it doesn’t look like and I think our I think we need to see this as as coaches and especially as an athlete so Luke garri was not born an athlete he made himself into one kind of like Teddy Roosevelt you know had asthma and then he made
Himself the strenuous life you know garig worked harder than anyone Fitness was almost a religion to him according to a teammate all right so what I want to point out is that there were players with more Talent with more personality more Brilliance but nobody outworked nobody cared more about conditioning
Nobody loved the game more than Garrick and everybody says that right Garrick has the resume to back it up so he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to play he cultivated the strength the habit of not listening to his emotions because once you start compromising well now you’re
Compromised so what he did was he he had this thing he wasn’t a square he said he had an obligation to be a champion to act like a champion he wasn’t a drinker he didn’t chase girls or thrills or drive fast cars but he was he was no
Good Time Charlie and at the same time he said I’m not a preacher and a saint continuing onward garri was fully ready to admit that his discipline meant he missed out let me repeat that he missed out on a few Pleasures he also knew that those that live the fast or the Easy
Life miss something too this is hurts more they fail to fully realize their own potential Garg also um famously almost took to drinking didn’t if you didn’t know he was going through a big slump and he um had a drink before a game and it was it you
Know kind of took him out of his own head and he had a good game and a coach stopped him and said you’re not g to like where that road ends so garri really developed this discipline and didn’t have a good example for a parent and so he almost
Did the opposite he didn’t drink chew or smoke he was in bed by 9:30 or 10: each night when a man can control his life muhamad Ali says his physical needs his lower self he elevates himself so that’s our archetype of grick I would say he is
The archetype of discipline I want you to contrast that real quick Jake and tell me if you’ve ever heard of this before with our friend Babe Ruth now Babe Ruth is not L Gary he’s in the next chapter about attacking or about the strenuous
Life a and and I’ll read it and I don’t want and I liked Babe Ruth a lot I mean he was a fun character but there is a point here contrast garri with L with Babe Ruth take a look at the diet of Babe Ruth as he played alongside Lou
Garrick breakfast was a pint of whiskey mixed with ginger ale then steak four eggs fried potatoes and a pot of coffee for an afternoon sack it was four hot dogs each wash down with a bottle of Coca-Cola he had an early supper and a late supper each the same two
Porterhouse steaks two heads of lettuce drenched with blue cheese dressing two platefuls of cottage fried potatoes and then two apple pies oh and between the two suppers he had four more hot dogs and four more bottles of cocaa perhaps all that needs to be said is that Ruth
Was once rushed to the hospital for drinking too much soda and eating too many hot dogs it was fun while it went down but the aftertaste was bitter listen Lou once told Garrick don’t be a sap keep in condition don’t let yourself get soft I
Made a lot of mistakes when I was coming along I didn’t eat right and I didn’t live right later I had to pay for all those mistakes I don’t want you to do the same thing baby Babe Ruth’s athletic Feats then as inspiring as they are
Carry with them a tinge of sadness what could Babe Ruth have accomplished had he been more disciplined what greatness did he leave on the table because yes even the greats could have been greater what’s I mean what stands out to I mean I see so many athletes who have talent
Andbe this is probably one of the things that dve nuts because I didn’t have a lot of that I didn’t come easily um leave it on the table they succeed in spite of themselves so I’m much more drawn to garri than I am to Ruth um it’s a sad story both stories are
Pretty sad but like the the this idea of Ruth versus gck um and how how we all have these athletic aliis and excuses and discipline really comes down to controlling what you can and I realize that it’s not as sexy it’s not as fun or it doesn’t appear to be
That way um but it’s way more filling so anything stand out to you about Ruth versus gar besides the fact that you can end up in a hospital for drinking too much coke and hot dogs not that kind of coke Coca-Cola it is a conundrum that I find myself in quite often
Um who is widely considered the best baseball player to ever live Babe Ruth Ruth yeah it’s not L garri how did L garri story end at this point he is most famous for an uncurable disease that is miserable that slowly zaps the life out of you some would say
Probably one of the worst ways that you could meet your end in this world so why does the guy who had no self-discipline didn’t care what he put into his body considered the best baseball player to ever live to have lore and and and a cult following really nicknames that you can’t even
Imagine a movie that’s nearly all about him that us 90 kids grew up uh loving MH and the guy who was disciplined meets a slow painful end considered a great baseball player no doubt not nearly the level of babe if that is the end why would I care
Practice live out discipline in my life you’re telling me I can have the pleasures of Babe Ruth and still be considered the best baseball player of all time or you’re telling me I could have the discipline of a garig and end up six feet under after a brutal
Brutal death which one would you pick that in that yeah in that context I think Ruth kind of even got added or even holiday after words like when you get done I I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately Jake about athletes transitioning out of professional sports and how do you
Remember Pilgrim’s Progress I I think we read it in third grade Mrs koal koich is that how you say it qu y qu uh second most purchased book I think of all time behind the Bible do you do you remember the phase where Christian is carrying that weight and then it falls off
Remember that visual MH to me I think every athlete carries this baggage this weight this sin what you know in Pilgrim’s Progress terms that there’s a grieving period as you transition like out of Athletics into the real world like when you’re driving with your professional days I think you know and Daniel pink
Talks about in the power of regret how small can you make that regret you’re going to have some right I mean you wish this you wish that I think gri went out with a smile he got everything he could out of it whereas Ruth you know because it’s not you we I
Know we did KO in the beginning but Ruth we don’t know what Ruth could have done we don’t we I mean so which you know and and I fully appreciate your your building of that to me it’s like how small can I make that weight of
Regret at the end of this that I got everything I possibly could have you’re still going to have something that’s human regret it’s human just like any other emotion but to minimize and lean more towards Garrick than to Ruth and so it doesn’t matter necessarily the outcome but that your process was as
Pure and as good as it could have been because then you can leave without regret you’re like y y I did all I could maybe it didn’t shake out how I wanted it to but I still put everything I could into that I think the most powerful statement
In what you read of that story was bab’s comment to Lou and I think we have to understand that discipline it’s not for the fans man is that alluring but it’s fleeting because Babe Ruth may have filled my head with wonder he may have created a story uh
History that is one that’s mesmerizing to me he has a legacy and a lore that’s incredible for me a fan but what was left in his heart at the end of all that what did he have to trade away there’s always a tradeoff right um and I think you’re
Spot on of there was the always the what could have been well what if I didn’t have to what if I didn’t have to go to the emergency room because I ate too many hot dogs soda pops you know like how many more home runs could I have hit if I actually
You know paired with what I was doing um or truly put forth my best effort in every area of My Life um but for me it comes back to the question of who who am I performing for yep uh am I performing for the fans am I performing for
Myself am I perform ing for my parents that question needs to be answered because you’ll find much different motivations behind them and I think the motivations um create either gaps or fill gaps in your mind body and soul um as time goes along yeah and some some
Are um what is it like this difference between a cylinder and colander like you know like the spaghetti strainers where they have holes in them more you put it in the more it just falls out versus if you fill those holes then it goes upwards it’s a good visual so what can
We sweat about so let’s let’s use that so when it comes to the body what I wrote down is sweat the small sweat the show and these are two things like what can we control so the details of the body and Holiday does mention in sweat the
Small stuff and which is a play on the words of like don’t sweat the small stuff from that book series but the what I wrote down is is he he goes into John wooden’s description of putting on socks why didn’t why did he do that um is this
Is how you put your shoes and socks on man was what wooden said is he like the little details are by far the most important we think of like these Grand things you need to do every day right but it’s the Small Things what he didn’t want is he didn’t want blisters right
And if you don’t have blisters it means you can play better and so he was working on the small details which also appeared in a number of other books on industriousness um we’re fit to tackle the big problems only if we do the little things first Zelda Fitzgerald
This is a sweet quote it is the Loose Ends she lamented which with which men hang themselves I’m like that was good but what what I’m trying to say for the body is like greatness is in the details details require self-discipline and they talk about for
Want of a nail the shoe was lost and what Ryan said is because of a blister the game was lost for want of the socks the championship was lost so it’s you know drinking 16 ounces of water when you wake up is doesn’t seem like it’s a
Big thing but it is if you’re dehydrated and now you’re in the fourth quarter so it’s stuff like that so sweat the small things and then the show um comes a little bit um like it comes under the chapter of just show up showing up the incredible underrated power of clocking
Every day and putting your butt in the seat this is where luck seems to be show up and try get on the treadmill pick up the violin answer some emails script out some scenes reach out to clients read some reports lift a couple weights cross one thing off your too’s list jog one
Mile show up when you’re tired when you don’t have to even if you have excuse even if you’re busy even if you won’t be recognized for it even if it’s been kicking your butt lately is it still hard yes um what most people don’t know
Is that uh what most people don’t do is they just don’t show up they can’t even do one tiny thing a day you’re the only one um responding on Christmas I disagree with that um consistency is a superpower is what Ryan says the most important thing um a scout told Lou
Garri as a young ball player can learn is that he can’t be good every day you don’t always have to be amazing you do always have to show up what matters is sticking around for the next at bat this is the first step to Greatness one thing
A day adds up and each day adds up so what do we focus on with the body my point of that is sweat the small do the minuscule Atomic things like we learned from James cleer and sweat the show which means show up um detach from where
It goes that day because some days it might go far and some days it may not just over the course of a season you’re not going to have a good day every day and that’s okay so um do you have any small details or anything on just showing
Up I tend to hate that moniker just show up I’m G be honest with you like I do I feel like it’s kind of overplayed and um no like no not just show up no you you have to put forth your best effort now you can be understanding that it’s
Not always going to be your best effort there’s going to be days obviously that aren’t um but just showing just show you just got to show up like well no if I just showed up to my classrooms I would have flunked every one of my classes because I would
Have played some computer game but I was there I was there no that that one drives me nuts a little bit uh I I do get the point though I I would say more consistently show up I think if I had to summarize what you said it would
Be you know consistently do the small details consistently pay attention to the small details because they add up and they matter yeah right and that is one of the hardest it is a very hard thing to get your body to do and in your brain too right your brain’s gonna tell that’s not
A big deal that’s a small thing it’s not a big deal you don’t have to do that today um I think that’s more what it’s getting at no I do have to do it today I have to show up today and do that no matter how small the detail is since you
Open the door on the Apostle Paul um I knew it would come back it brings me back to Romans 7 which A friend of mine has affectionately referred to as the dooo passage and I I call it the doooo passage all the time now um the reason it’s called The dooo
Passage is because that which I will to do I do not do that which I will not to do I do do um and then he goes on to explain therefore then I find a law that is present within my members within my body right that is Waring against
Um the law of my mind and so Paul’s identifying this disconnect between what our body wants to do and what our brain wants to do yeah um and that is the epitome of discipline to me those two things have to match there H or there has to be one that overrides the other
Always Y which one’s overriding is it the one that says n it’s just a small detail we don’t have to pay attention or is it one that says Nope this has to be done today I don’t care how small it is I have to do this
Today so even if if you’re sitting there like the Bible sh Bible it is a concept that carries into life that I think we all can identify with there is this thing inside of us this voice inside of us that’s constant like n you don’t really have to do that
It’s this constant battle going on like no I shouldn’t do that even just scrolling your phone at night I really don’t need to do this yeah but then there’s other part of like yeah but who cares right this little well and and a few things off I love the doooo passage
You’re gon have to write that one up um I totally like that I like that um is few things is I’m on a I have the whoop strap Jake and I have talked about whoop and Aura and uh among other things but one thing that’s in whoop is like the
Red recovery days like the red days so you’re in the red red yellow green meaning you didn’t I mean I did sleep almost eight hours last night so I did get a pretty significant amount but I’m still not recovered for whatever reason reason right and you could deconstruct
That but it and what I want to say is like on a scale of 1 to 10 if you have a two that day you give as much of your two as you got and I and I don’t want to say you do less but like if that’s what you got you
Give what you got and and know that that number is going to go up and down and some days you’re going to feel great and you and you can push and push and push you push as much as your two will give you and just be being honest with that
That gives you a much more realistic thing one of the things that exercise people have tried to do is is say don’t skip the workout just reduce the scale so instead of doing the five sets maybe do just three or two another one was even simpler than that it’s like
Hey don’t worry about doing the whole workout just do the first exercise just show up for two minutes and then you can leave I remember hearing that over and over I did um Joseph Pilates his contrology his exercises for 30 31 days straight once and all I told myself the
Whole time CU there’s some days I didn’t want to do it I’m like I have to do this same sequence again I just did the 100 which was the first one as soon as I did the first one like that was the win like when I changed the win to I finished the
100 that that made me win I did the whole rest of it I’m like well I’m already here I I’m in my work out go miles well do the other ones you know it took 15 more minutes whatever but when you when you change the scale of the win
It really really does matter and I do agree with that finding those small details of your sport and picking them very specifically and saying this thing and you don’t have to do every small detail that’s one thing I I wish people would let go of is like don’t sweat
Every detail like not everything can be socks choose your socks you know I me really choose your socks you don’t can’t it’s it gets so overwhelming to remember every single thing but if you choose them well it can trickle to the other things it becomes a habit a way of
Thinking so all right let’s move to hustling so hustle there’s three things that go with Hustle hustle slowly hustle rep repetitively and hustle eagerly so to repeat how do we hustle we hustle for our body slowly we hustle repetitively and we hustle eagerly so this was one of the questions
That came up it said if you’re not a person who hustles who are you and I find that entertaining if you’re not a person who hustles who are you so let’s go about these different types of hustling so slow down to go faster uh Festina lente is I think the phrase that
Ryan uses here says make haste slowly discipline pacing Cal newport’s coming out with a book called slow productivity be in it for the long haul you know I know we want to get somewhere we want to get somewhere fast and there is something to be said for sprinting um
But slow as smooth smooth as fast do it right and goes quickly try to go too quickly and it won’t go right so get your pacing down in addition to that in the next chapter it says practice then practice more it has been said that Master swordsman I’m gonna mess up the
Name the Nakayama hakudo would practice drawing a sword some 2,000 times a day I don’t care what sport you’re in do you swing your back 2,000 times a day I know eat youo swing a lot um there was a phrase from Musashi the samurai training
From morning to night Chon saki saki s k i Ren I don’t know how to say that um he says okay oh you’ve done that okay do it some more and after that more more more so having that kind of Talent Code counter where you have that like those
Thousand pennies or beads or marbles whatever in a jar there’s no greatness without practice lots of practice repetitive practice exhausting bone cing Soul crushing practice you got to love The Practice um last lastly for we had slowly we had repetitively and eagerly I like this one it’s one thing to this our
Antithesis of just showing up but eagerly if you do it right it’s also torture not to do it so if you are doing a physical practice and you want to show like do your athletes really like going to practice I mean that should be the like one of the barometers temperature
Gauges the sled dog gets anxious if it doesn’t get to wear its harness the horse wants to go out and shot the bee dies if cut off from The Hive when you find what you’re meant to do and you’ve designed it correctly in an environment that’s fun you do it always and forever
The reward is the work so hustle Jake slowly repetitively eagerly what do you like slowly repetitive eagerly I think what comes to mind is instant gratification and how much that is at war with uh discipline it is it is one of the key enemies man and oh my goodness as culture do
We live on that dopamine hit um all of the time uh and and you know I I think there are so many things in culture to that makes it so hard to be disciplined um so much harder than probably any other time in life quite frankly just because
There’s so many distractions there’s so many things that are in instantaneous now with the growth of Technology the way it has so everything you said to me was screaming instant gratification this is what it all is instant gratification well I showed up why why don’t I have
Anything what’s going on why am I not better you know the amount of times like well he started out as the third best kid on the team and now he’s the sixth best kid on the team you suck as a coach it’s like well just because he shows up
And it’s not doesn’t mean he’s going to just boss and be the best like everyone else is also doing that what is your logic that he’s going to be the third best player for the rest of his life like what are we doing here what are we talking about as a
12-year-old as a 12-y old things go up and down right It’s a Grind that’s why it is discipline man because it’s not easy and it you don’t see the payoff right away if you did you wouldn’t need discipline yeah uh so that’s what all of
That screamed to me and it’s it’s one of the things in our society that we are um really at war with as individuals trying to overcome that that constant instant gratification society that we have found ourselves in and wishing that it applied to everything in life I’ll admit that in
Some areas of my life I I can rep it out with no I love reps Hitting off a t like when you find what you’re meant to do Hitting off a te I just like the sound off of a wood bat it feels so good when it goes posting daily on social
Media I hate that game kind of thing right you know so like there is a game and yes I need more reps at that but like that sometimes you know and there’s a way to figure that out but some things are much easier I’ll acknowledge and so
It’s like okay how did I get that how do I bring that over here it’s not some things do directly transfer transferable skills transferable mindset transferable whatever sometimes they don’t and so it’s like okay well how can I make that look more like the thing that I did
Before that was kind of my push for the game full mindset and saying okay what games do you like to play how can we translate that to your work to your life to your next thing but I agree with you the instant gratification is a huge uphill battle because we have this this
Is why S as an English teachers the kids didn’t have the muscle to sit and read for five minutes they needed you know to what are you doing over there what do you and so you had to start really stinking small hey we’re only reading for five minutes yeah shut up the
Timer’s on the board and then you had to slowly work that way up and then ideally you’d get to a class where you know on a reading free reading day you would have 20 to 30 minutes but that is not a muscle that just you know because
Everything screams at us like you were saying like here’s your notification here’s your 10-second T Tik Tock clip how many people can realistically listen to us for two hours kind of thing right I prefer long form podcasts long form things but that didn’t just happen over
Night I like to see where a conversation would go I wanted to get to know that guest on that show I want to hear how that interviewer asks those questions to get somewhere that nobody else has gone so yeah we are working on that but that’s those are the facts so what then
Train it out of them it’s not like it’s like oh there’s no point in trying yeah no there is a point in trying if everybody’s going that way then maybe we should go the other one so I think you just have to be realistic in the beginning that you’re not going to just
Be able to get them to do the thing the way you want want him to do it in the end it’s going to take some time so yeah and in awareness of it you know I would say the thing that I’m coming to a realization of is that we are really the
Last generation to know what it’s like without technology in our face all of the time yeah right um those who were born after us all a sudden the cell phone was was in their pocket by the age of like 10 uh kind of deal uh computers were everywhere etc etc um you know
There used to be a time where like for me I’m I’m I love researching and looking into biblical interpretation and things of that nature well I can get a Tik Tok that’ll break down Daniel n for me in 30 seconds with a quippy a quippy headline right
Um but back in the day that used to be a book that used to be citing a significant amount of resources that used to be showing um a deep level of understanding and expertise but now kids have techn have had technology their whole life they think that is research yeah they think that
That is really potentially reliable information without understanding that that’s not how it used to be people used to gain knowledge by reading books by reading articles where um things were laid out in a much deeper level than they are now well and don’t get me wrong because as I record this
Um you know I do everything by hand at this point you know so in Theory guys like I’ll be honest I’m very interested in using like chat GPT to make our YouTube scripts and to give me just questions with without reading the actual book you know I write the scripts by
Hand you know because it helps with memory writing is better than other things so I’m very interested in that but you know I’m trying to hold that attention like books bring me joy so why would I take the easy way and lose all the richness because I’m having to
Choose you know what do we talk about what do we write down and the same thing happens with Athletics it’s like don’t take the easy way out there’s actually you know how much pride there is when you’ve done those 2,000 repetitions a day and you step into the arena and
You’re like I’ve swung this I think that’s one of the things we’re missing about the anxiety performance anxiety is the confidence that comes from the repetition from the time put in and I don’t get me wrong there’s a place for AI I mean I’m not against this kind of
Thing but but still needs to have its place there is still something to doing things the hard way the long way there’s lessons there that you can’t get and I do think there is a point for Speed but I agree with you um last one on the body
And then we’ll kind of hustle through these other ones here I want to ask you Jake so there’s we talk in flow coaching about the different types of grit not just one type of grit I want to ask you which one do you struggle with more do
You struggle more or do you succeed more either way you can interpret it how you want do you struggle more with the grit to suffer or the grit to recover so I struggle with the grit to recover to sleep and I’m gonna get to the point here after you answer um The Suffering
Doesn’t bother me as much in fact I I probably go I’ve traditionally gone overboard on the suffering the whole get your sleep um drink your water less is more um is kind of where my brain’s at been last year or so is like don’t go
For as much as possible go for as much as you need to do to get the desired outcome you know really 8020 why I like minimalism essentialism all the isms of those Arenas so grit to suffer or grit to recover what’s been your your your go-to um neither one
Uh I would say grid to recover okay comes more natural and I’m I’m getting into it now my wife is is slowly beating me into the realization of how much healthier and more disciplined I can be or could be uh in the body realm for sure and so the
Easiest step of that is getting your water in eating the right things stretching I need to stretch today oh my goodness um so I to go through up rup um I should I should send you in the mail the ball of torture those rad rollers those little like two cross
Those things are the me like you want to talk about mean like it’s not if it will destroy you it’s just where so and so I want to say on this is like when we talk about self-control it does you need to seek discomfort that’s the chapter we covered the comfor crisis
I think it was our first book um but the point of this is is is going out of your way de the discipline to be a little bit uncomfortable because that’s how using that sword analogy is how you temper a sword you expose it briefly to heat and cold to environments
That attack the steel and Harden it Joel ran of impossible HQ he’s also the guy who made the app CST cold shower therapy he said there’s really two types of people those that take cold showers and those that don’t and that’s how he that’s his litmus test for people it’s
Like the my other favorite list this desk which we should really have made a whole section about is people who return their carts to the cart stall and those who don’t oh like like a functioning Society like we don’t have to go to cold showers although I I do take those if
You don’t return your your shopping cart to the cart stall this is everything wrong like that if like besides making your bad put your cart back that’s it okay so wa the blah said take a cold bath bravely make yourself do unpleasant things so as to gain the upper hand if
Your soul that’s a good quote but with in addition to that the grit to recover so burnout an injuries are way more expensive than time off and there was this whole section about Greg papovich deliberately doing that like load management which is a whole another topic but he was playing the long
Game and what we’re talking about is when you’re committed to something um sometimes the harder Choice the greater exercise and restraint is to rest like you do need to rest sometimes we’re in this for a career we’re going to be on this grind for decades we’re in this for
Life we need the grit to recover yes our worker is important yes we hustle yes our drive is how we become successful Our Love of the Game is what got us here but without the ability to reain it in we will not last and to wrap that up a
Couple Pages later is this is a great Ryan does a good job of his um chapter title sleep is an act of character really cool so the idea of sleep discipline James stav Reus he was a fourstar admirable in the 90s Persian golf watching our physical health he
Said is an active character and can enormously help with our ability to perform um my um my uh piy there’s two py um acronyms I wanna I want to give people is one is gtfb go to F in bed like just go to bed like there’s no you don’t need a
Just go to bed like don’t tell me about like how you meditate and then you do this and then you journal and that no just go to bed go to bed and then the other one which I was not aware of have you heard of the halt acronym from
Addiction circles Jake no all right tell me which one that would trip you up I can tell you the one I would get it’s called um halt h l t hungry angry lonely and tired yeah so most people get tripped up when they’re angry angry lonely so like connection
Intimacy whatever it would be or just playing tired like you’re out of willpower you’re on empty um I guess tired gets me the most when I’m out of willpower like I’m done for the day I just like the couch there’s a magnet on my butt I don’t want to talk I
Don’t want to make a decision know the dishes are fine where they’re at absolutely um I just the tire like Angry doesn’t it that pops up periodically lonely I’m around people all the time hungry doesn’t bother I’ve done that one so Okay no Okay tired definitely gets me
The most there oh hungry I think it’s hilarious it’s just I’m that’s my kids yeah I’m gonna have to start implementing that with my kids I’m just gonna halt to make them aware of where they’re at halt well it’s good to you know then we don’t take things as much as a character
Thing it’s like no you’re just these things so which brings which brings us to temperament so we’re going to do these a little quicker this is a pick and preach Time Jake so I’m going to give you three things from the book this is about temperament and temperament is
Our second section it’s about the inner domain I want to Define that it’s very very simply um what man is happy he who has a healthy body resourceful mind and a docile nature that’s THS true self-control means moderation not just in what we do that was the body but also
How we think how we feel how we comport ourselves in a world of and confusion temperament is everything our head and heart combined to form a kind of command system that rules all over our lives so how do we do that so this is where like before is a little bit philosophical
This is a little more practical so the first set we have the pause the no and the deafening what was what was the word that ends in that scary scary movie The not the Reckoning what scary movie am I think of I don’t know the strike you as a guy
Who’s big into horror movies no but that’s like not the Reckoning The Haunting I don’t know whatever somebody will correct me um but the pause the first thing is the pause so having the the self-control to pause so George Washington was the guy who is actually very hot-tempered it’s in the chapter of
Look at everything like this he said the pause is everything so that kind of you know space between stimulus and response so before you respond and is just to pause before to before you jump to conclusions prejudge assume the worst um you can make yourself that way where you can just literally pause
Rushing to solve your children’s problems for them forcing a problem into some kind of box assigning blame taking offense Turning Away fear we pause We Gather ourselves we put it up to the light I I’ve seen it on social media quite a bit it’s like giving three seconds before
Anything that’s a long time 1 1,00 2 1000 3 1000 000 um one strategy really low low hating fruit the pause the second one is the no so keep the main thing the main thing is the chapter is that if you’re after something you need to control and say no to some other
Things what is the main thing what is your priority the secret to success in almost all Fields is large un uninterrupted block of time if you say yes to something it means you have to say no to something else you’re going to miss out and that’s okay you can’t say yes to
Everybody Evie white one of my favorite quotes here was I must decline he said to some sort of request for secret reasons so you when you hear a lot of successful people what they’ll they’ll start saying is learning how to say no to others especially when you you know
You’re trying to help but you can only help so much because once it starts taking away I know some authors have said yeah I got you know just good at responding to emails like I was responding to emails more than I was ever writing so number one is the pause
Number two is the No and then the next one is the deafening and I I just was trying to be playful with this is um Ruth Bader Ginsburg said it pays and it helps to be a little deaf so in the context of this is fighting Pro
Provocation like if a guy is chirping at you in the stands or something like you just pretend you don’t hear it so you think of like I mean Jackie Robinson was featured in this is is just don’t engage when we fight we are complicit we have chosen to engage we have traded
Self-control for Self indul Indulgence life people they’re going to give you the opportunity you can choose to decline to accept it so we have the pause the no and the defening um page 123 flow follows Focus so the self-control to focus that goes a lot with some of our other learnings um is
That we really need to be having the mental discipline um as Steve Jobs says how many things have you said no to you need to sit down and get into that raptus your Flow State eliminate distractions intense focus on a singular point just like the magnifying glass you
Know heating up on a single point the last one I want to offer you is perfectly cowardly that’s a good one perfectionism is a vice is the chapter and I found this one interesting perfectionism is paralysis that’s the way you spell it it doesn’t matter the cause whether it was procrastination or
Perfectionism the result is the same you didn’t do it not trying because you’re not sure you can win you’re not sure whether everyone will love it there’s a word for that too Howard this we have to be brave enough to Soldier on um so of those the pause the no the
Deafening focusing or letting go of perfectionism to actually do something um what helps you most when it when you think of the mind what do we most need in sports what do we know most need as people uh I think the defening is a big one huge one that’s probably the one
That stuck out most to me um you know I’ll say I’ll share a story that kind of goes along with this we were at I at a game and assistant coach um the opposing coach start yelling at the referee to which caused him to start responding to the other
Coach and then that just was a slow buildup and so I let him go for like a minute no it wasn’t a minute it felt like a minute there’s no way it was a minute before I looked at him and I just said would you be quiet and just let him
Be in a-hole that’s what I said you you don’t have to join him in the in the ah-h holdery just let just let him go let him be him like you don’t why are we engaging in this MH kind of looked at me and I think he was a little bit shocked
That I actually told him that but then he like okay I suppose that makes sense you like if I have to step in to protect a referee that’s one thing but I’m not gonna engage in the Tom fooler of someone else I’m just going to pretend like I don’t hear it
Essentially kind of a deal um the other thing that helps me and this is how I articulate it is with my emotions is simply uh setting realistic expectations um for example with a referee and I think I’ve used this before but I don’t show up to any soccer field or any
Sporting event expecting the referee to be perfect and maybe this goes into the Perfection category as well right yeah so when the ref when the referee makes a wrong call he hasn’t broken my expectation therefore my emotions don’t get flared up okay quite frankly and I don’t mean
This as a disc this is more of a self-control issue this is more of a self-control practice for me not an attacking any referee I expect the referee to suck every time I show up to the field correct so when that the call goes horribly wrong I just kind of go
Okay yeah okay that makes sense like you know young kid okay whatever right I’m not expectations set behaviors in a lot of ways so I’m very careful to set what my behaviors are or set what my expectations are as a coach um that goes into every training session what are my
Expectations of my players in this given session am I expecting them to make every Pass Perfect am I expecting them to make every decision the right one or am I expecting them to be focused am I expecting them to uh pay attention am I expecting them to give uh a high work
Rate yes so when you don’t give that high work rate that’s where you’re going to see an emotional response from me yep when you make that wrong decision that’s when you’re going to see a tempered response you’re going to see a you’re going to see questions you’re going to see
Guidance there’s no guidance that needs to happen there’s no long drawn out guidance that needs to happen when you’re not working right right working hard it’s this needs to be an immediate fix on my emotions are going to kick in because this is a basic expectation so
That is for me how I control my temperament as a coach a lot of it just has to do with expectations um a lot of it has to do with just pretending like I don’t hear I’m as much as uh because we grew up in a really cool area of power
Forward centers and NBA basketball players um py phrase we got all sorts of py phrases today doooo passage halt gtfp um go to yeah um Tim D Tom FY remember Tim Duncan yeah can you just like you know you I would love to just hear Tim Duncan like playback scenes of people
Trash talking him and what he was thinking like I would like give me 10 scenes in Tim Tim Duncan’s career and give me unfiltered I don’t know if he curses but it’ be funnier if he did like what was in his mind as he was just staring at him blankly or even smiling
Because Tim did not engage like it was so funny like it almost annoyed you like he just couldn’t get at him like he just didn’t do it at all and not saying he never showed emotion not saying he never didn’t say anything on the court but
When it came to the opponent nothing and this is the ER of Shaq and kg who never shut up like I like kg and I think there is a place for gamesmanship in in trash talk World it could be it could be your thing but in in self-discipline sake or
Self-control not engaging in that is hilarious so I’m gonna I’m gonna run with that on a post somehow Tim don’t tell fery that’s funny that’s a good point yeah um second SE so we have never twice losing versus losers Banquets battles buff and break so let’s run into these never
Twice so this actually came up with Greg mckuin and the chapter is can you get back up so similar to what you’re saying it’s not if you fall it’s when and you’re going to mess up so you’re going to have a time where you’re at your lowest
Moment and you need to be able to get back up the moment of Grace we need a moment of Grace for ourselves defeat is not final backslides can be stopped that’s the thing about discipline it never fails us but sometimes we fail it I like that like we fail discipline but
Discipline doesn’t fail us losing is not always up to us I wrote the word woe next to this losing is not always up to us but being a loser is being a quitter is saying what the heck does it even matter if your standards are so high
That you give up when you fall short of them then you actually don’t have high standards what you have are excuses I like to screw up it later it says we’re all going to relapse on the diet the pad habit whatever we are going to lose and then
What falling down seven times and getting up eight is what we’re after yeah yep so losing and losers that’s the difference there let’s go to Banquets and battles and then I’ll I’ll pass it over to you so Banquets let’s go to page 151 remember to conduct yourself in life as
If it were a banquet EPA said as something being passed around comes to you reach out your hand and take a moderate helping does it pass you by don’t stop it it hasn’t come yet don’t burn in desire for it but but wait until it arrives in front of you act this way
With a children with a spouse your athletes toward position with wealth one day it will make you worthy of a banquet of gods Church Hill said always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me this is a critical test don’t just think about
What a certain pleasure will give but think about what it will take from you think about how what you’re chasing is going to age temperate and CS Lewis says we go from epicus to Churchill to CS Lewis Temperance is going to the right length in no further I love that it’s very very
Interesting the the buff portion so the strength the ability to rise from the table before the point of hating yourself before the meat sweats or the carb coma this takes strength Samson couldn’t do it so this and I I already mentioned about discipl being a punishment but the last one is the break
Okay be or not break broke wow I can’t read my own writing be broke you can’t afford for a moment of ego or excitement costing yourself and your teammates a championship you can’t afford for an Impulse decision to undermine your training you can’t afford to let passion
Block out the calm and Mild light maybe other people can’t but not you you can get angry the important thing is not to do anything out of anchor slow things down think it through so we have not doing anything twice in terms of if you fall don’t let that happen
Again get back on okay don’t fail your discipline don’t being not being a loser the banquet so kind of that moderation is everything in battles being strong and um it do not break it is um it is be broke okay okay so what’s what what do
You like out of that for self-control of the mind he don’t have EXC you don’t have high expectations you have excuses that’s a great quote um I’ll bring this back to my realm we often times think that law and grace are opposite of one another when in reality they are both
Needed to exist that they both need each other to exist in other words there is no need for Grace if there is no law what do you need Grace from right or let me put it this way if there’s no expectation what do you need Grace from if you don’t meet the expectation
Right and if you have expectation you need Grace because you’re not always going to meet it so they’re very very closely connected to each other and we need to understand that so going back to my last story my last method of self-control it doesn’t mean that I
Don’t have any expectation of a ref right um I have a high expectation of the ref number one keep the kids safe like that’s the number like I you might think that’s a low expectation but no that’s a high expectation because if you don’t meet it I will come at you right
Mhm but I’ve never had a ref where I felt like yeah go he’s letting them shank each other on the field and it also means that when they don’t meet that expectation like no this is what a referee is supposed to do and I’m talking like how they’re dressed are
The socks pulled up are the shirts tucked in something like that right but also I have a high expectation of how this should be done so if that’s not met I’m gonna go over and talk to him like Hey and I’m not talking about bias stuff I mean like hey I noticed that
Sorry this is going to be soccer specific but you know when we’re trying to make a sub you’re the assistant referee stand next to me like you got to notify the sener this is just a basic thing this isn’t a bias like hey I think that judgment call
Was wrong that’s not what I’m going to talk to him about right but fundamentals of how they do their job and and how it should be done I will go talk to him I’ve been around long enough I can I can speak pretty confidently um I mean there
Was one time where we were in a regional game and um the opposing team passed the ball back to the goalie the goalie picked the ball up okay so for those you don’t know in soccer that’s whistle blows that’s a free kick and it should be an indirect free kick where the
Goalie touched the ball with his hands okay it was a younger kid definitely cared about what he was doing definitely wanted to be a good referee um he chose to pick the ball up and move it outside of the box and then put it down for the
Free kick completely wrong like I know the rule it’s completely wrong this isn’t a judgment call I’m not arguing of whether they kicked the ball back to him purposefully or not it was you made the call but now you’re processing in the wrong wrong direction so as it’s going
On I stand up and I don’t yell but I simply throw out the suggestion of no the free kick it’s an indirect free kick where the goalie touched the ball and he just kind of looks over at me and like immediately CED an attitude with me you could tell like his fa you
Could just see it on his face like stop talking to me um and so I kind of like left it go whatever thing went on happened halftime comes I just walk off walk over to him very peacefully like hey an indirect free Kick the kick happens where the or when when you pass
The ball back to the goalie like that the kick happens where the goalie touches the ball with his hands immedate attitude no coach that’s not that’s not how it goes no it is go ahead and check the rule book no coach I don’t know what leagues you’ve been a part of but that’s
Definitely not the case I’m like the US soccer Federation MLS the Minnesota state League like I’m just naming every League that I can think of at that point because it’s a universal Rule and he’s like you know coach I that’s you know please go please go give you a halftime talk we’re done
Here like can you just look at the rule book please that’s all I’m asking just look at the rule book and he just kind of rolls his eyes at me so I give my halftime talk I don’t I don’t actually go approach him again the teams are
Running out as they’re running out I look over to my right and there he is and I could just see on his face man like head down yeah kind of s hey coach I’m sorry you’re right I should and I just looking like yeah no problem just
Trying to help you out you’re doing good appreciate you and went out and it was fine I never said another word to him so there’s still a high expectation to know the rules than with grace that kind of interaction can happen without coming down on anyone and losing control of my
Emotion and I’m sorry I’m harping on the ref but I think this is the number one situation if if we’re talking to coaches here that is the number one situation where we all lose all mental faculties and just become livid yeah and that’s going to come up
In the soul and uh you’ll see what that looks like um last set because this is one we promised in the beginning so we have we have the opponent that uh can contain MJ we have the boulder um respect test and we have the best test so these are fun and pick
Pick what you like the first one is the opponent that contained MJ and it’s under the chapter of tempor your ambition the poet I’m gonna get to the straight to the punch line the poet juvenile remarked that the whole world had not been big enough to contain
Alexander but in the end a coffin was sufficient the opponent that’ll eventually contain MJ and I don’t wish MJ I wish MJ a wonderfully long life don’t get me wrong here’s why I want to say this let me read the rest there is a pathological need to
Achieve ambition but all of all the addictions in the world the most intoxicating the most hard hardest control is ambition because unlike drinking Society rewards it we look up to the successful Michael Jordan we don’t ask them what they are doing or why are they are doing it we only ask
Them how they do it miras commanded armies but ambiti commanded Marius you watched the last dance and you tell me that ambition didn’t command MJ Napoleon Marius Alexander were powerful but ultimately powerless why because they couldn’t stop because there was never enough we have to ask what is this
Really bringing me what am I actually getting out of it what does it profit if you get the whole world that your soul ambition is good but it just must be tempered like all elements of self-discipline it’s about balance we don’t need accomplishments to feel good or to be
Good enough what do we need the truth is not much according to Ryan some food and water work that we can challenge ourselves with a Calm Mind in the midst of adversity sleep a solid routine a cause we’re committed to something you know we’re betting we’re getting better at everything else is
Extra so the opponent that can contain NJ is a coffin the Bull Durham test do you remember Bull Durham where he’s like why don’t you like me man it’s like um eie Calvin Louch or whatever the heck his name is like the young kid with
A 98 M hour fastball um and then you have Kevin cner playing um crash Davis and and this does matter for self-control but it’s this it’s called respect time the pursuit of discipline means discipline in all things especially little things but what I want
To do to talk about is this idea of a routine routine is an essential tool in the management of time and the suppression of these negative forces of distraction procrastination laziness this is one that I want to see the person who wakes up whenever wakes up and does whatever orders their day
Around however this is a person who will never have enough time who will always be Beed and so I think of like eie Calvin and he’s like dude I don’t respect you because you don’t respect yourself like I mean like he just lay like he lays it down like a
True Pro and I see the crash davises of the world and he looks good he’s like remember the scene he’s like you’re never GNA make it to the show with like fungus on your on your shower shoes like I mean like it’s so funny like you know
I mean so that whole whole movie is great but it says take a minute to think about how you spent the last year the last month last week the last day think about how much it was wasted how much of it was H excuse me half asked how much
Of it was spent in reaction to things out of your control there’s simply no es escaping the fact that these moments are gone forever that you will never get that time back you missed opportunities to get better you missed opportunities to make progress so we have the coffin
We have time and then finally is the best test this is interesting uh under the chapter do your best an admirable ad Admiral there’s this situation it says how did you stand in your class in Naval Academy this guy’s interviewing he said sir I stood 59th in a class of
820 the question responding was but did you do your best no sir he found himself confessing I didn’t always do my best interviewer said why not and so it goes on to say why didn’t you do your best what was holding you back why you know why are you so afraid of what
Do you why don’t you think this matters what could you be capable of if you’re really committed if you’re not giving your best why are you giving it at all why are you why are you doing it at all so what you can so like it goes on
It says as long as a man is trying as hard as he can to do what he thinks to be right he is a success regardless of the outcome that’s kind of a John Wood and S thing you can always control whether or not you give your best no one
Can stop you from that what does matter is that you gave everything because anything less is to cheat the gift I love that phrase cheat the gift the gift of your potential of your opportunity of your craft your responsibility of those entrusted to you your int instruction
The gift of life itself um every performer according to Hazel Harrison has an obligation um that you must always play your best even if it’s only in the waiting room at the chi station because in this country there always be a little man behind the stove who knows the music
And the tradition and the standards of musicianship required for whatever you set out to perform if you haven’t heard it lately your best is good enough not perfect your best so we have MJ’s you know the opponent that can contain MJ we have the bould DM respect test and we have the best
Test what hit what hit you hardest well you said ambition they were all slaves to ambition they’re all controlled by their ambition which gets into well it made me think of a movie quote we’ve quoted Remember the Titans a handful of times but he’s sitting there after um Gary
Bertier gets into his accident with his wife and he asked the question honey do you think I was blinded by my own ambition and that didn’t hit me till I got well into my 20s where I listened to that question oh yeah I never thought about that you know
We talk so much especially around this conversation of self-discipline and discipline and you you highlighted this at the beginning so much about um you know it’s doing things you have the discipline to do but you also said do you have the discipline not to do things do you have the discipline to to
Not to not go after something with complete and Reckless abandon that is a real thing um I mean you talk about MJ okay or Kobe right there stories but they’re in the gym way before everyone they’re in the gym way after everyone I just heard Reggie Bush tell a story about um Drew
Brees right Drew Drew that’s actually a good one so Drew Brees Reggie tells a story about how you know I get the before the sun comes up I’m a rookie I think I’m getting in the building first on this big wig there’s one car in the parking lot it’s Drew Brees he’s already
In the film room he’s already you know in the second half of a game and I’m just showing up thinking I’m the first one there yeah I’m thinking I’m the last one to leave I just put in a huge weight room session I look out in the field
There’s Drew Brees no ball in hand just walking through his motions his reads his play calls I don’t even know when he left I don’t know if he ever did leave right that’s awesome Drew Brees is one of the best quarterbacks to ever live it also just came out that Drew Brees has
To throw the ball to his kid left-handed because his right shoulder is completely deteriorated from all of the football throwing that he has now I’m not saying I don’t know Drew I don’t know if he has regrets in that or not regrets in that who knows only Drew
Does but there is a cost there’s a significant ific cost in pursuing goals with Reckless abandon um it could be relationships with people that could be quality of life right um there’s a lot of trade-offs and and even pursuing Excellence with quote unquote great discipline do we call it over discipline
Or we call it simply a lack of self-discipline not knowing when to say you know what this is also important we we tend to get in a very mutually exclusive culture mhm and you know we we have a tendency to worship only one aspect of a human and then when
We hear another aspect of the human it rocks our world because we don’t we’re not seeing them for who what they are which is human which is a coffin will defeat them at some at some point so I think it’s worth being said and to think about in our pursuit of
Excellence and our pursuit of growth there may be a line mhm um of of sacrifice of tradeoff that we pass and do we have the ability to recognize it and stop that is a great transition like hold that so as we move to the soul there’s several things that come up here
Because I do believe you you you work and I I love honoring like your gift like don’t cheat your gift have respect for yourself have respect for the craft that’s one thing I wish athletes had more of or like like respect the game like when somebody says respect the game
It’s like understand that you’re you’re not some special thing that you’re entitled to like there’s been a Litany of people who put on that Jersey or that thing before honor that you know we don’t have a lot of Honor in in our professional or even college sports um
To the program I think you see it sometimes I think you see it done right like you get like an Alabama or the Ohio State I mean you see it a little bit but you see the effects of that it’s like whoa like there is it means something
And without that meaning it’s a thing so let’s move to the soul and we’ll get wrapping up here we’re already long which is great I miss I miss seeing Jake for a little bit First recording of the new 2024 year is the soul so I know you’re curious about this so the
Magisterial is what he calls it mastering yourself mentally physically in command of all ways and all forms and somehow finding a good gear beyond that finding more to give more to draw from yourself the the this is in the greatness we seek this is where the body
The mind and the Spirit Come Together in life’s most stressful situations when things don’t go our way in moments of Destiny or great difficulty where we show what all these sacrifices were for where we show what we’re made of where we prove that isn’t in fact possible to
Possess the world and keep our soul which is I think you’re getting at so let’s talk about this I I’m gonna I’m going to go straight to the ones you were doing versus the ones I have down here so let’s talk about the the person over profession vers virtues over MVPs
And parties um parties um clo parties over closing time so at the end of the book 282 since you asked what page it was is it’s not the office that brings a distinction to the man it is the man who brings distinction into the office kind
Of the idea of like if you’re a janitor or I know that gets overused if you’re not in charge you still can have honor and respect for what you do best is the person who adds shine to their accomplishments with their discipline not the other way around in the end it’s
Not about what we do it’s about how we do it and by extension who we are too often we find people choosing to be great at their profession over being a great human human being Marcus really said Perfection of character to live your last day every day without frenzy or sloth or pretense
Conquering the world is almost easy after we have fully conquered ourselves one thing I’d like everybody to know is that you’re who you are as a person is way more important than who you are as a coach or an athlete and don’t give me the nonsense over those are the same
Thing they can be U but not necessarily selfis has never been about punishment or deprivation it’s about becoming the best best you are capable of becoming along with that Jake so I would say that virtues matter more than MVPs is is knowing when to leave and I see this a
Lot that it’s hard to let go of something you’ve put in a long time and the chapter is how to make an exit and that it takes being a bigger man another level of discipline to be able to maintain your dignity when you have to go the other way to live to fight
Another day um you don’t win at everything all the time not in war life or business a person who doesn’t know how to disengage to cut their losses or ex extricate themselves as a vulnerable person hope is important but it’s not a strategy denial and the same thing is determination delusion is destruction
Greed will get you in the end you have to be a strong enough to to to take your leave so know when The Jig Is up key questions can you put your ego aside and accept de feed or reconcilable differences can you walk away when it’s your time even when it’s so so
Attempting not to so turn out the lights the part’s over Jake or the famous song closing time what do you think about person being person matters over profession and having the ability to walk away when you hit that ultimatum like are you really going to play one more season at the
Expense of your family are you really going to go after that thing for marginal gains I wonder about that a lot yeah it really comes down to a why it comes down to a purpose and I would take it back it comes down to the audience that you’re doing it for
Um the audience in the stands the fans in the stands leave after the game’s over um and eventually you’re not going to be in that Stadium anymore and they’re going to be cheering for somebody else a spouse children mother and father those those don’t come and go with
Stadiums all right um and it then it comes back to the purpose why you have to answer that question uh if you truly want to understand what drives you and why you’re being disciplined helps you to find the line of too much versus not enough kind of a deal Um it’s it’s a tough one for me to answer from a S Point truly is um because then it almost becomes like what’s the point for me but good question though it is a good question what what is the point of it all that point of view right uh that’s
Not to be dismissive it’s truly to say I don’t understand it um you know for me there was there was always a bigger audience than myself there was a bigger audience than my parents there’s bigger audience than my family um that I did things for that drove my
Behavior that drove my virtue that um that determined where that line was of of discipline of infatuation i’ even say with a sport or an activity um you know so that that’s my point of it’s hard for me to understand where you’re coming from and what’s truly driving
You last last ones for the soul and we’ll wrap up Eminem really quick and I’ll let Jake choose uh is there’s a chapter about being strict with yourself but tolerant with others and I like some of the things that were said here and we’ll pair this with the
Difference between a boss and a leader so on page 238 in this chapter it says very simply I think I’m on the right page um K’s great-grandfather he says I’m prepared to forgive everybody’s mistakes KO the Elder said except my own Ben Franklin said search others for their virtues thyself for thy vices
Meaning tolerant with others strict with yourself um why can’t we get people why can’t they these other people refs athletes other coaches whatever can’t get such simple things right why can’t they just do it like we showed them the first time why can’t they just be like
Us well because they’re not us and even if they were is it fair to expect something of them that they never signed up for here’s the truth it’s not on you to change try to change everyone else be a strong expiring example and let that
Be enough like KO right be the KO and even then try to be empathetic trying to escape our own faults is hard enough um work to keep us busy for a lifetime I like that there’s a higher plane that we can achieve to when our self-discipline can be comp complemented
By compassion by kindness understanding love the fruit of temperance should not be loneliness and isolation that would be a bitter fruit indeed superiority is not a weapon you wield on other people in fact we have a word for that kind of intemperance ego ISM pair that with uh
The difference between a boss and a leader I know most people have probably gotten this one before but sometimes we just need the reminders and the lessons um it’s under carry the load for others a leader must be selfish they must sacrifice they must face the same deprivations as everyone else in the
Organization General viscant slim said they will they will follow you to the end um or excuse me if you can do this matad has learned from the writings of General biscon slim they will follow you to the end of the world okay being a boss is a job being a
Leader is something you earn the leader shows up first and leaves last the leader Works hardest leader puts others before themselves the leader takes the hit everything else is just semantics and titles we have to show not tell first in line uh show not tell be the
First in line for danger last in line for rewards first in line for Duty last in line for recognition to lead you have to bleed now we can agree or disagree with that but um what do you think about being strict with yourself Toler with others
And the difference between a boss and a leader I struggle with that first one um it’s maybe it’s because I I don’t want to paint myself in a better light than I need to um I don’t know if it’s because I care about it I don’t know if it’s because there’s typically kids
Involved I really struggle with looking at a lot of youth coaches today um in terms of how they’re doing things how they’re conducting themselves and let me be very clear it’s not typically I’m not judging youth coaches based on how they’re the content that they’re coaching though there is some of that
Most of it is how they are conducting they’re not the content the conduct that’s what is hard for me to bite my tongue on um and so I certainly need to be better about trying to find the virtues in those individuals but for me it’s very easy to find those
Vices and then it’s also then easy to look at myself and boy I’m glad I I’m thankful I don’t do that right so there’s one of my favorite parir it’s Luke um Jesus describes this man is is a sinner and he’s there confessing his sin and you
Know hey I’m a murderer I’m a thief I’m this I’m that and then he goes to the Pharisee and the Pharisee looks at him and says boy I’m thankful I’m not that guy and the catch is as you read it you’re reading this right and then Jesus
Goes on to say who who is this person to judge right don’t be the Pharisee we won want to be judging people right like that um but what you do is you find yourself you read that and you get to the end you’re like boy I’m glad I’m not the
Pharisee like it’s conducted in such a way that the person that it’s telling you not to be it almost reveals that that’s who you are as you read it it’s it’s pretty crazy um and I often find myself falling into that trap of in me judging that person I become that
Person right so that one’s a tough one for me that I got to be better at for sure well and that’s why you we you know when you read holiday it’s it’s um other than the evolution of cooperation which was just a hard technical read ego’s enemy is very similar like
Were you coming up against truths and you’re looking in your own mirror first you’re like oh that’s a speck no wonder I can’t see like shot and and not not to you know self flatulate here at all I mean I mean you just have room for improvement it’s like oh that gets me
And I think that’s as as we go through some of these values I mean we are better at some of them than others right it’s you know in wooden’s you know Pyramid of Success it’s like okay here’s what it takes to achieve that peace of
Mind at the end like that’s that was his goal so he obviously change the scoreboard on us but here’s what it might take and it’s it’s up to us based on our own experiences to look at it’s like oh man I really do need to work on some self-control specifically my inner
Domain that needs some work right you’re perfect just the way you are and you could use some work kind idea so I agree with you in that respect and and um I I just have to think about that one I I haven’t really sat with that and how
I would respond to others like I’m really good at the whole strict with myself thing yep um but I tend to expect others to kind of put in the same as I do and I don’t I don’t think that’s a fair thing so I that I resonate with
That phrasing of that right all right let’s let’s wrap up um with three things really quick I’m gonna read our metaphors there’s a lot of metaphors and I’m not going to read them all to you Jake like in terms of the passages just tell me the ones that popped up you’re
Like hey I like that one try to find at least one or maybe two to three just whatever comes to your mind so what is self-control compared to what is it like metaphorical think thinking deepens our understanding of a concept and helps us attach our schema in different ways so
That’s just why we do this so here are some things self-control was described as there’s only two that I added on my own um it’s described as a Crossroads um Cardinal is actually um the word cardinal virtue is actually meant to hinge like it’s hinged upon so
Hinge a compass Aristotle called it a craft later in the book it’s called an ebre uh character self-control is a vehicle self-control is Spartan Lou Garrett goes laughing he’s like oh we ever do is sit on cushions I don’t want to sit on a cushion like forget this we’re all soft
Like I guess they had cushions in the Dugout for the Yankees um it’s a training ground it’s an exit ramp I always take the exit ramp kind like Joseph sword play a magnifying glass a lifesaver scoreboard a budget e like a key like to open up the chains OB it’s an obligation Mustard
Seed um way of living and a lifesaver so any of those like you know would do you like most of how do would you describe self-control what what’s stood out to you what do you think oh that’s that’s how I would describe selfcontrol I like key I think that’s a
Good one I think it self-control self-discipline um can open up a lot of things in life uh I would I would say it’s a war I would say self-discipline is a war because there is it’s not just like I’m going to be self-disciplined today there
Is always an aspect of you that wants to go against what you should do or what you think you should do there’s this like two voices thing there’s this two laws thing as Paul puts it um that are they’re going to war inside of you uh
And which voice are you going to listen to there’s the voice that says get up and read there’s the voice that says L you B scroll a little bit more so I describe it as a war yeah I didn’t read it because of the the time uh but in the
Beginning right away in the four virtues literally the first couple Pages um very similar to like Solomon’s dream where you can give it a choice but they talk about Hercules and he’s confronted by two God es one is like a life of ease the other one is a life of hard work and
No rewards promises nothing and that’s where the metaphor of crossw Roads comes for Hercules the choice was between Vice and virtue the easy way and the hard way the well trod path and The Road Less Traveled and I think that’s what you’re getting at just another way to say it y
All right most valuable ideas I’m just gonna give you one Jake I mean there was I had seven here um and you know it is the best it is you know very positive force um I think we’ll just you just pick one at random and and really go with it but we’ve
Covered a lot um self-control is definitely a thing I love that we started with something that’s all-encompassing um and getting a solid base because we’re going to go into much more specifics as I’m going to describe um later but the one I want to go is is
Is just very the simplest one at the end is self-control is not a life sentence it’s just a way of living I mean operating against the grain is not a punishment it is something that you can do to see how good can you actually get
And by having I think a lot of times is we have the thing that oh I’m gonna be um I’m not gonna be allowed to do what I do but by forcing positive creative self-discipline constraints on us we’re free to do more so yes it is a key but
It’s kind of a paradoxical key right on on that sense anything I mean we covered a lot from body Spirit any other main ideas that you you want to share before we give a really brief daily challenge and a eulogy and then we’ll tell them what’s coming up
Next I would say that they’re all connected that true self-discipline all three um not only have to be disciplined but they have to be disciplined on the same page because if they’re not they War they fight against each other all the time and when you find synchronicity
Between the three that is when true self-discipline comes and I think that’s when you see it in its fullest potential uh or or you achieve ultimately I would say your fullest potential when those three are connected on the same page and working together I would agree with that well said all
Right your last things to wrap up and we need to get moving on um is a daily challenge and a eulogy I like this kind of contrast between right now and at the very end so fun contrast your daily challenge uh self-control daily challenge for your three topics pick one
Pick them all like said um it’s a daily challenge we face not once but constantly repeatedly will we be selfish or selfless Brave or afraid strong or weak wise or stupid will we cultivate a good habit or a bad one courage or cowardice the Bliss of ignorance or the
Challenge of a new idea stay the same or grow the easy way or the right way so the daily challenge is pick a pick a time frame 7 14 31 which way did you choose and just see you know maybe you were lean a little bit it could be a spectrum but maybe
Take those three and say which one did I do really good thing just to keep front of mine I know it’s the kind of new year everybody’s doing all those goals and resolutions but um think of this like an athlete version or coach version assess yourself daily weekly see how that could
Go that’s a good daily challenge um the other one is the KO be a KO it and it comes from Garrick’s eulogy this is so interesting Jake over uh it’s I I’ll say this um from 0 to 60 how long do you think L Garrick’s uh funeral
Lasted are we talking minutes minutes y zero to 60 UH 60 eight okay the funeral lasted eight minutes looking out over the man’s friends and teammates the priest found a flowery uy unnecessary he said we need none the preacher said to the man because you all knew him no Tri was
Needed his life his example spoke for himself L Garrick each of us um like L garri each of us is in a battle with our physical form first to master it and bring it to its full potential second as we age or get sick to arrest its decline
To quite literally rest the life from it while we can the body must understand as a metaphor it’s a training ground a Proving Ground for the mind and soul and so what I want to is pick somebody like what we did at the beginning pick somebody aspired be a KO be
That thing so that you need a funeral that only lasts eight minutes we don’t need to do this you all knew it so I don’t care what the it is or the who it is necessarily but that that there is an IT and a who and let that be your EOG
Because I know that’s a very famous exercise like write your epith and things like that but that would be the two that I would say is do that self-control daily challenge and write that ulog be the K all right everybody thank you for hanging in there with us
Jake I think we broke a new record based on my estimations of longest episode ever you’re right I think not not the one I was expecting but it is is good but thank you for listening in thank you for learning with us be sure to like And subscribe share with somebody that they
Would need need a little bit of self-control whether it’s Body Mind temperate be tolerant with them please maybe strict with yourself in that regard send that nicely um we are in the first this was the first on self-control we are going to be moving on to specifically emotional control with Mark
Manson’s subtle art um we Jake and I got to figure out how we’re going to deal with the F bombs that come book but we don’t want to be espousing the f bomb left and right um but we will be moving to that because we got to talk about you
Know how many FS do you really give and the self- control it takes to to choose and and Mark Manson’s advice while maybe a little bit outside of Jake and IR gives us really good food for thought in terms of what we can actually control so
Um be on the lookout for that that’ll be the second in our series um before we move on to some other ones Jake final word thank you very much everyone thank you Kevin good to see you again we’ll talk to everyone next time see you
