#Sal #ETM #Artie
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You spoken to Lindsay Lohan about this honey you know what you’re absolutely right it shouldn’t be in the press nothing should have been done but if you go back to where it started when the incident happened if it’s not true then why do you care no they uh actually was
Her my wife side of the family that came forward and started calling the Press but what what is going on between you that you know people are trying to run over people with cars what’s going on when you have interactions with Dena I I I really honestly Robin I don’t even
Know what’s going on I’ve been trying to keep this really quiet and mundane and and trying I’ve just been trying to see my children Kelly don’t you think this would be a good reality show I mean wouldn’t this be a good reality show Lindsay Lohan her dad and the mom all
Fighting with each other seriously I just think it’s like the last thing that like a teenage girl really wants to deal with the truth of the matter is Howard that if you put Lindsay her mom and me back back together and you you put wedges between and everyone else there
Wouldn’t be any problems I just know if I tuned on MTV and I saw your ex-wife trying to run you over I would I would watch that show every week I really would and then to see Lindsay Lohan maybe in a couple of sexy outfits I’m I’m thinking I’m thinking it’s a not
Going a sexy out outfit thing with my daughter all right so Michael because I’m in the middle of an interview with Kelly I I just want to wrap this up yeah you are here to say and thanks for calling us back you got the restraining order that you got the restraining order
Not your ex-wife and the stories we’ve been reading are false look at in the time sequence I was at the police station till 1:00 in the morning then I did the incident happened and in the report which if you want I’ll send it to you it says that they were giving me a
Restraining order the next morning I guess after she heard this she got a restraining order in conjunction with her brother’s case let’s have a contest who can get Lindsay Lohan on the phone quicker Kelly Osborne or you hello hello want to try well it’s 4 o’ in the
Morning out there come on Kelly leave her alone all right who can get her on the phone quicker me or Mr Lohan all right Hey listen call me call call me back uh if you can tomorrow or something when we have more time to discuss this yes I have to see Dominic
Anyway and I’m sure he’ll be all right there he is Michael Lohan thank you Michael thanks Howard thank you Robin bye there you go Kelly sometimes Kelly when people have things written about them in the press and they can’t uh they don’t have a place to answer they have
To come here to straighten it out well I just don’t understand how St show like does he not understand like his daughter is like one of the most famous team in the world right now and the only thing he’s doing by like talking to you right
Now is causing more stress for her but he is trying to defend himself against allegations but if it’s not true so why should he care well if it’s not true then it’s kind of embarrassing have the’s walking around with it in the newspaper people are looking at him like
Me and saying oh there his wife had to got a restraining order on him and if that’s not well I think from what I’ve seen they both look nuts through the situation like no one’s worse than the other and it’s just it would be nice if they could do this privately but
Evidently it’s getting in the paper somehow so his point is he’s got to fight back I think it’s unnecessary mhm we’ll see with your first divorce wait your father’s on the phone I plan on getting divorced at least seven times during my life aie Osborne is that you
Hello how good morning good morning how you doing baby I didn’t even know that uh that’s your dad isn’t it no I think it is good morning baby that’s not it’s not no is there anything you want to say aie well is it I wanted to talk a little
Bit about C’s new television show all right go ahead well you know I’m not going to watch man oh I’m just going to sit around and play Xbox why wouldn’t you watch your daughter’s own show azy you got to support your daughter make up I don’t think that was OB
Either terrible you’re going to pleasure yourself to your daughter’s show why not him you know my mother as well some sometimes it go you know you’re stumbling too much all right well thank you aie I love you baby I love you too all right there’s aie isn’t that nice father’s pleasure
Every time I’ve been on your show there’s been somebody calling impersonating my father the same guy they love is it the same guy every time to get him Billy we know all right Bob go ahead real quick now Kelly’s new show Life as We Know It
Uh got great review in the paper today I saw a three review for it which was a lot of hype yeah but did you hear what she also said too she’s like how could her parents let her get like ver like bash like that like she weird she didn’t
See she doesn’t see the point in it she doesn’t see like well I’m okay with how I look and I feel like I could help people so that’s why I took the rle on and my parents had nothing to do with me doing the show at all right right I
Understand that and I don’t think people realize you’re 20 and you make your own decisions people think you look young people think you’re like 15 look I play a 15-year-old on the show I believe it Jeff the drunk you’re on the air make a nice question oh H
Tell all right how are you doing baby good how are you don’t get sexual with her she’s like a kid Kelly what do you want Jeff Kelly do you enjoy giving Oro well that’s a very inappropriate question I can’t believe he asked that question what about
It answer the question what do you say baby oh the fact me baby kind of mights me want to throw up in my mouth so I don’t want to talk to him anymore hey you might want to talk to him he just got a whole new trailer home yeah him
His mom I just bought a house for 85 G’s baby no no 30 they’re keeping right they’re keeping oh I got to pay my Capital Gaines tou hey Bob you’re on the air oh you got to get this pompous arrogant little puke off the air I’m sorry I’ll leave
Listen she’s not good-look she’s not sexy she’s not intelligent she has nothing to put on her resume except she’s A’s Daughter by the way so why can’t I live my life who gives a crap Rock I’m Just a Rockstar’s daughter but I’m having fun what’s wrong with that
Get up in the morning and look in the mirror do you see the same thing to the rest of us SE come on she’s such a cute girl stop now you’re being now you’re being now you’re being outrageous now you’re just trying to upset somebody he’s just stupid I don’t like you know
When times people say that to me he could come up with little something more original you’re enjoying your life you’re trying to make a life she’s making a you know she’s taking advantage of the opportunity what does he do he goes to a miserable 9 to5 job every day
I couldn’t help who I was born to all right let’s go to uh Dominic Barbara what is a Dominic he’s gone oh all right one last call let’s go to uh Pete are you there Pete hey what’s going on hey hey now hey now I just had a couple questions for Kelly
Yeah well do it Kelly those pills that you were taking those puls did they have m’s on them and peanuts in the middle oh what is that another one no but I’m friends with Kelly we met up I met up with her after a hamburger eating concer
Oh people are outrageous to that just ridiculous but that’s you think I don’t get that every day yeah yeah it’s it’s really nothing new and it’s nothing that and exactly why you took the role because live through this and if people deal with that every day and it’s just absolutely
Ridiculous that people in today’s society are still that ignorant when you came off the painkillers did you have to go through a physical withdrawal oh it was the most painful painful horrible thing ever itys you get the shakes and everything no I didn’t get the shakes
Because they put me on like a like detox medication right but I literally felt like somebody had just beaten me out from head to toe will uh will you ever do any drugs again probably I definitely defitely not what I was doing at all I I
You try another Dr I know I’m just I never like I just don’t ever I can never say that I’m never going to do them again because I’m not dead yet you know and I will you smoke weed no I don’t will you drink I don’t think so right
Now no and I’ve just like I I never want to go through that again it was an awful experience and I’ve grown from it so well you’re doing great and Jack’s doing okay he’s I mean I look up to him so much because he is so strong he
Completely turned his life around and I and I just hope that I can do half as good as he has been doing well there you go now is Amy all right she’s she’s like the only normal one that’s what I’m saying just Joe hey what’s up Al hey now
Yeah listen that guy’s a little nuts I think K’s kind of cute she pretty hot little girl there you go you’re damn right you know and now she’s the new sexual Kelly God knows what’s going on in that bed listen she said that I’m single so uh you know maybe we can hook
Up well all right maybe we can set that up next time you come in you’ll go out with a couple of members of my audience oh boy I guess we’ll never see you again all right Kelly’s excited Life as We Know at premiering tomorrow night at
9:00 on ABC this is a regular job now you have to memorize lines you have to show up at work early I do it’s like it starts at like 6:30 every morning and I finish by like 10: at night how did it come about did somebody approach you it was
Um is it too much work no I really enjoy doing it it’s fun and the people who I work with are amazing and I literally like it’s just it’s like my new family there because but was it a part written with you in mind no definitely not they
Actually wanted a much bigger girl than me to do do it and you auditioned mhm was that hard I was so nervous did you ever take acting lessons no when in there cold mhm no kidding good for you I’ve never had an acting lesson people find that hard to
Believe my Mike Lohan’s back on the phone lind’s dad let me make sure it’s him is it really you hello yes Mike Howard I have a question for Kelly that’s not Mike I was getting ready go to work and I just was just thinking Telly let me ask you if you’re so
Against things being publicized in the press and in the media then why did your family have a reality TV show and they all your dirty laundry and your day-to- dat occurrences are happening is that really yeah when but when the bad things happen I don’t grow on Howard Stern and
Talk about my family well I think Howard and Robin made a very good point before and when when people do say things in the Press you have to defend yourself you don’t it just makes it worse it’s just going to make you look worse but good things about Lindsay and I’m in her
Defense all the time well it regardless it still has an effect on her it only has an effect on her Kelly because people are saying things around her that are causing me to defend myself I’m not going to them and bringing this all forward I’m not airing Dirty Laundry
They are if they if you heard the dirty laundry that that that are in other people’s closets involved in in thisa in my family in the case you’d be very very shocked at what the public would know every family goes through bad stuff and I just I all I’m saying is that it’s
Just unnecessary that all parties involved should not be publicizing anything and you’re just pursuing it by doing what you’re doing right now no look and Michael’s defense and I can attest to this being on the Stern Show helps you get laid too that’s true it does really all right Mike thank you
Thanks all right Michael Lohan Lindsay Lohan’s dad uh having words with Kelly Osborne took issue with what she said I love when people have words yes well you’re right I know I went through a divorce and I try to keep everything quiet and like not in the
Public firing uh from one side you know everybody was in agreement to try to keep it on the DL it it’s like the only people that really really get hurt by this or the kids when the parents get divorced because they don’t know what’s going on right it’s true but you are in
A quandry when somebody’s firing away at you in the press and you don’t say anything it kind of makes it get only one side of are those Lindsay lwh hands real boobs for real I have no idea not her own you’ve never touched them no you
Never made out with her no ever do it with a girl no that’s a lie I kissed Kim Stewart once but never why I was drunk Butz you don’t drink this was before okay Kelly Osborne on Life as We Know at premiering tomorrow night at 9:00 on I’m
Going to tune in I’m I’m going to support your show well thank you and if I watch it that means all of America will watch it now Kelly as you know when I come back I’m making a big announcement is it time well it’s uh I
See it’s 7 8 minutes in front of 8:00 so it will be within the 8:00 hour yes and I’m going to make a big announcement a big announcement a big announcement yes to do with I I don’t want to even say we’re all waiting to
Hear what he has to say so you married I’m not saying what the big announcement is you’re getting married I’m not saying what the big announcement is he’s starting a viking and ring you might be interested in this in case you go back to your old way I’m don’t and for the
Record it’s fine to drink did you have to get rid of a bunch of uh friends or I did I really did I had to change everything wow the announcement is I’m marrying your mother she’s leaving Azie and going to be with me nice and I’m and now I’m in the reality
Show I’m your new daddy oh my hello Daddy um hi Daddy thank you I’m I’m I’m making a big announcement all right I think everyone will find it very interesting that’s all I’m saying okay all right Kelly thank you thank you for having me love seeing you here say
Hi to the whole family I will too all right actually Rob and I will be converting to Islam ah well there’s something I have joined my Islamic Brothers I’m glad you’re here where I could watch you then all right I will make what is it oh Kelly has to go all
Right I will uh I’ll be back right after these words when you thought it couldn’t get any stranger Underdog woman another thing and I uh I only bring it up because a lot of fans have written in and and mentioned uh that they saw you
On the uh Stern Show I didn’t know I had never heard of or seen his show before they asked me to be H it I did not know that he was such a vulgar uh television host you might consider him the king minus of smut so after having been on it
I was so shocked and so maltreated and no more Howard Stern right that’s that’s thank goodness enough of him and cuz he you said they were like drug pushers making you do shows right that’s right they they forced me to do shows against my will and when I saw that I was
Surrounded by impurities I had no way of getting out of the room because I was always strategically placed that I was in the crowds and couldn’t find my way out wow this is is the Howard Stern Show 95 x I’m J McCarthy and Howard thank you
So much for grabbing my boobs it felt so good now Howard sh Show the only but something happened yesterday she wants to talk to you about it all right a Howard stur exclusive Suzanne she likes to be called Suzanne yeah well she’s okay all right where is Suzanne I don’t even know she
Should be online too I believe oh Suzanne hello hello hi hello how are you I’m all right we understand you have an announcement to make well she wants to talk about something that happened yesterday oh okay um by the way I’m honored you would call in this is big
This is big for her this is big all right go ahead tell us can’t wait to hear your good news um people I don’t know how many people may be aware that the that the character of Underdog um premiered in 1964 yesterday was the 40th birthday yesterday was the 40th birthday
Yes and you had the nerve to just bring up Larry Fine no Larry Fine from The Three Stooges I don’t know if you know this Suzanne is going to be 1002 if he had lived 1002 tomorrow oh that’s nice yes and and Underdog would is this is the 40th anniversary of Underdog how
Will you celebrate I I celebrated Yesterday by being in a parade unfortunately it the the event was not created expressly for the 40th anniversary it was just an annual event and no one knew that it was the 40th birthday to the day except the people who were in the immediate grandstand
Area what was the event and uh if you had called us on Friday maybe more people would have known that’s true I could have given some advanced warning of some kind what was the event well you mean the event that I was in yesterday yes uh it was an elk’s uh
Lodge parade so at the parade many things were celebrated so Underdog was sort of just part of that festivity and only the grandstand people really knew well be well because uh if if you if you watch other parades on TV and hear uh uh a commentator acknowledging the entries
As they pass the reviewing area that’s how uh uh viewers know who those entries are and what they’re about in in my case uh I had prepared a paper stating that uh that that uh that that I was doing under and the fact that that yesterday
Was 40 years to the day that that Underdog pred well I had no idea it was the 40th birthday as you know my father was involved in the recording of Underdog he told me that before that’s right so I would I would have S celebrated with my
Father I don’t think she thinks that’s a good thing why that’s a great thing my father is is basically gave birth to Underdog they did it all she would have preferred to be other people dog was created by Joe Harris your father no but my father let me tell you something when
I was a little boy you you’re going to be shocked by this I sat in on many of the recording sessions where Wally Cox and others did the voices of Underdog did you know that that I was in the studio as a young boy um but still
That’s that’s a different thing from the person who actually uh created the concept that was I’m not yeah I’m not saying my father created the concept but he was one of the creative uh people in on it he he was he was one of he was one
Of the uh um he was one of the um he was a he was a recording uh engineer and young Howard Stern at 10 years old sat there and watched them make your beloved Underdog cartoons well oh look I really I really don’t have all
But the fact is uh this this whole year is Underdog’s 40th anniversary and and and yesterday suzan why does it trouble you why why why you why does it trouble you that I sat in on the recording of Underdog does that upset you you made a great mistake later on by
Choosing to be profane vgar and sexually explicit on the air you betrayed your soul and you know you know that was a great I no offense but I think you’re jealous of my involvement with Underdog yes hello hello I think we lost stand well anyway there it is Suzanne
Mold to explain Underdog 40th anniversary what she was going to say was that she’s upset that not enough people are recognizing it we were also going to talk about I promise her why did she hang up she got upset and I was going to say that most of our fans have
Been leaving her alone but for the one or two fans out there they’re still Haring her please leave her alone harassing not Haring guys please well it could be Harang I hey by the way push was right with vifer I looked it up and I’m not quite it’s not a battle got to
Let me get through this break we’ll be back right after these words this is the Howard Stern Show are grumpies TR what’s your name fat buddy excuse me what’s your name scumbag you what have we got here comedian do you suck do you suck you
Don’t scare me I don’t know but I push uh uh star 58 star 58 and get the the the them to record it why you little mag you make me want a woman the Howard St show 95 x hi this is actually I born here and I can stand that robotic sounding douchebag
They Tom S I mean lay off the button it’s Ridiculous yeah s and Richard Christy put that together and Tom’s angry cuz they called him a douchebag but a lot of listeners wrote in and said Tom really is a douchebag and he should accept it yes own up to it so we have confirmation on that was like
This uh you know Tom I don’t know if you heard the show the other day Tom came in and said um I don’t want Richard Christie and S especially calling me a douchebag they haven’t earned the right and here’s some of the email that generated Tom complaining about being
Called a douchebag only proves that he’s a douchebag you have clips of Marv Albert calling him a dick he’s frequently called the cancer ridden a-hole yet he can’t handle douchebag what a douche uh here’s a listener who agrees with Tom he says you got got to get rid
Of that [ __ ] s he’s literally a [ __ ] he has no social skills or sense of common decency he’s like that idiot KC when he put mayonnaise filled condoms down old lady’s backs and then finally someone summed it up like this Tom is a douchebag period end of story thank you
Is Tom a dick now have all those people earned the right so you know I went back there and I said to S Richard I said like maybe you ought to lay off the douchebag thing cuz Tom seems to be really wigging out you know I said I
Don’t know and so they went back and just produced 5,000 thas a douchebag bits which I got to admire you know well absolutely I said it’s so ridiculous to take that particular word and say I don’t want that one I’ll show you what so so like right after Tom lectured them this came
Out I’ll just give you a sample the show but we will never know cuz Tom CH s push the button how it tries to make us laugh but time that pain in the ass make sure that we hear nothing there will come a day when get to was she time away and
What we say about him we’ll say it’s good to see you go cuz your room on radio show and life goes on without you so um don’t push that butt stop pushing it you piece of why don’t you quit you don’t push that But why don’t just off to St and then I got this one hey Rich I’ve got this itch up my that I just can’t stop scratching well s looks like you need the new Tom chano’s douchebag for men bite your tongue Rich do you want to get fired no s it’s not
Offensive anymore ever since I tried Tom chano’s new douchebag for men my ass crack feels fresh and minty clean we have that one man there some of them weren’t even funny I mean they just vicious let’s see uh what’s I don’t even know have Tom chano is into his house
This song goes out to all of my anti- masturbating homies out there in radio land I don’t touch myself CZ Jesus will get mad if I get aroused I hold a Bible in my hand it’s been 6 years now since I’ve touched my love glass I would rather play golf than tantalize my Goads this is Sal the stock broker and I’m Richard Christie and we approve this message Tom chiano plays golf while children in Africa starve Tom Choo has a crush on boys are out to get him h no douchebag Tomo has a crush on Air Day on dead Air day Tom chiano once
Pleasured himself on wait let me see I got to complete this myself okay Tom chiano has moved his bowels into a krock trash can Tom choso would abduct homeless black children and give them golden showers Tom chiao thinks Mexicans are lazy in November vote no Ania paid for with a grant from the
Douchebag group [Laughter] I had a lunch with Christy and Sally today and the entire time they’re just thinking of anti-t tomits yeah he’s just made himself the focus they’re pitching stuff to each other no it’s Tom and no it’s awesome we’re doing Tom and well it’s exciting that a bothers Tom that
Much absolutely I mean that’s the reason to do something yeah when someone’s not bugged by something you stop teasing them yeah are you tired of hearing foul language in your house honey where’s my dinner why don’t you get off your fat ass and do something what happened to my
Voice why I bought the new Tom chiao home bleeping system you [ __ ] [ __ ] that’s right the new Tom chiao home bleeping system automatically bleeps any word that you deem unacceptable and it’s approved by the king of bleeping himself Tom tiosano I can’t believe that I can’t F cuss in my own God
House thanks Tom chiao home bleeping system and try the new Tom chiao home delay button honey how many times is this oh F the Tom chano home bleeping system and home delay button from Tom Tech available everywhere it’s a good one so there’s a lot of Tom bits going
That one’s really creative that’s a good that’s good that’s a good one I like the home bleeping system yeah yeah well actually I kind of like all of them to tell you the truth you’re a big fan of everything it’s good stuff yeah I like David Lee Ross singing
Anything to irritate Tom yeah good for the show all right let me take a two or three phone call yeah I’m Shocked hi well this really suck I had no freaking to did you know that Wendy The [ __ ] had no power in Florida well I know they not got her power once it went out again oh yeah yeah she was freaking out man I got the call was bad hi well this really
Suck I had no freaking power God my Boris God damn it come on at the tower God damn it I want my computer I want to T to how on the B board God damn it I want the power on I’m going real power I haven’t even took good show for 3
Days this suck d i sink like a r leg I want a ID shower come on power she hasn’t showered for three days Oo that is rough wow that’s a scary thought you better F my at the tower now are at the tower now [ __ ] I feel like I want to take a bath and rela and I can’t cuz I’m as a goddamn Pig I want the power on God damn it I’m
Bored bored man this is bull I’m tired of hurricane God damn it does somebody raped me for crying out loud somebody get my life over with I’m tired of living in the heat God Dam it want the power on now God idam it my be put my power power
Back on now cuz I’m hungry God the damn it I’m going up I’m hungry I’m thirsty and I want hey your [ __ ] is hungry my [ __ ] is hungry and has a shower get her [ __ ] meal take a bath just think about my baby Howard God damn it and I
Can’t even do that cuz no power I hate hurricanes hurricane God damn it it’s hurricane man I’m bored as crazy I’m aggravated we got hit by hurry blowing my mind up just somebody raped me for crown louo made me lose my mind pump it here pump it
There E power you better come on before I kick my ass I want my power I want to take a back God damn it I’m S as a goddamn e hog my ret need EG this hurricane no more hurricanes no more God damn it feel like a root me and I feel
Like d it God damn it I feel like drinking God damn it I think you’ve been drinking I’m B to me God damn it I want she’s running out of steam like a hurricane she starts out strong and actually winding he just took the eye it’s over land now and it’s going it’s
Losing its power my C I want my music I can’t have nothing cuz so [Applause] power I’m going nut I’m going nuts baby I feel like smacking myself God damn it I’m Bor I’m I sck as the r i want to I want to take a bath and I can’t God damn it
This to you better Flor on power you better fist on power God damn it or I’m going to come up there and I’m going to beat you with my back I can’t take any more God damn feel like blow up my mind just let my dog rap me for c l come
On my [ __ ] went nuts want to be raped by her dog is that what you said about dog why doesn’t my dog rape me feel it I’m so aggravated I’m hungry this is bullsh f power you better come on right now or sometime today or I’m going to
Freaking really man had it I’m really about to lose my mind she’s not kidding whatever mind she has left yeah it’s really tough on her it sounds like yeah well cuz of her fun things like music and computer are run by electricity yeah I was that mother I get in a hamster
Cage and start spinning so that I could get some electricity going but doesn’t she have her drums why doesn’t she just sit down at her drum kit that lasts 10 minutes my dog is raping my [ __ ] oh God damn it I feel like eating myself up for
Dinner I feel like cutting my leg off God damn I’m so she going to cut her leg my [ __ ] is eating her leg I can eat my leg hello cops my [ __ ] eating herself damn it I have nothing to do I’m sting as a goddamn
Pig I have nothing to do I’m bored as crazy I can’t take a bath and relax and think of my honey Howard wow finally cut her off I listen to that all day yeah I did that is amazing got some news for us Robin or uh oh absolutely love to hear
What’s going on I mean I everybody gather around for the Tom CH is on no show show show show show show this week on the Tom show Tom Reveals His true feelings for dead air Dave good morning dead air Dave wow you look nice today have you been working
Out mhm Dave have you ever thought of me in a sexual way H I must admit that I love your smooth caramel colored skin can I take a peek inside your box or shorts mhm sweet Jesus your fly is open well mind if I call you big
Davey can I push your beefy dump button oh that’s how you like it you little big don’t you wait slow down let me hit the delay I don’t want to finish yet I want to explore every inch of your huge brown beef Kebab that’s the spot you filthy button
Pusher tastes good doesn’t it like curry sauce you Magic Carpet riding snake charming [ __ ] well I’m satisfied my horniness now let’s get back to work next week when Tom uses a golf club to violate Salva stock Broker there it is it’s good show hey AJ benza hasn’t been on the show since he [ __ ] slapped Stuttering John AJ benza had a more of a sucker punch that’s what they call it AJ Ben is a journalist uh he worked for the Daily News for a while went out to Hollywood
Started hosting a TV show on E then uh that fell apart I guess then he remember he got the talk show kind of thing going then he had a talk show and now we don’t know what he does yeah I don’t know what he does now
He’s got a new reality show there’s AJ keep your hands to your I see he’s in a wrist brace clearly he’s punched somebody else up he punch this time who did you punch this time the barbell WR he lifted the barbell wrong years old what a I never
Thought I’d see you back here again I know what happened how why why this is amazing I don’t even know how it happened Jesus I think the stuttering John’s gone and maybe won’t figured they give you another chance or something I to thank whoever is responsible starting
With you i’ like to be back here it was really John who was standing in the way he just wasn’t going to happen right right that’s what it was but all right we’ll give it another absolutely no one’s going to get hit try and control yourself I’ll be fine look I’m even I’m
Injured before I even got here but listen if somebody says something about you take it like a man and don’t I can’t guarantee you know I’m kidding I’m I will I’m a father now and a husband I have to I don’t is the softest man in
The world now what happened you went out to Hollywood you had the E you were with the E channel for a while yeah and then that that fell apart well I I had the Mysteries and Scandals was a hit for 5 years that was a good show then they
Gave me a talk show which they you know Mindy Harman what can I tell you I can’t just you can’t asine she blew it and uh how did she blow it it wasn’t your fault no well look I mean every everything you do as a creative effort is partly your
Fault but when the when the people behind you you know slash budgets without telling you and cancel people’s trips it was just it was a mutiny on the Bounty no one liked her she came in with her own regime of people so the people who put my show together were like on
The outs with her regime was just you know so um it’s always a disaster yeah but you know as you know is it the host of something you be but she believed in you she she said that but then why slash the budget in half a week before the
Show right whatever so that one I was so nuts at that point because I wanted to work I would move back to New York which I want to do right so that that’s why I was in such but I was being paid by E
For a year to kind of just shut up right so that’s why when the whole all those phone calls kept coming I was like out of my mind that day so you got paid yeah I was in the contract show worked or not I see so you so you so you weren’t out
Of work you just being paid to shut up yeah wow hey stuttering John’s on the phone he wants to I Love talk all right yes John John Hey Howard AJ for Al JK by the way I’m gonna beat you worse than chucko well John uh you’re still
Obviously mad at AJ I’m gonna smack you silly you he’s a lot looser now than he’s on Tonight Show is he that’s really working out well it looks really sff really good is there anything else you want to say I’m going to beat you worse than trucko
It sounds like an old he sounds so familiar those those threats I can’t put together it sounds like the threats you made a couple of years ago the same old yeah he’s got a come new material how AJ stand for how can J by the way said
That a roll himself like Bush it’s just you know mix mixed messages that’s all it is who you hanging out Johnny you done I’m going to smack you silly you quick is that it are you really done so much M to go it gets better and
Better he was really giving it to do you have the sound of the smackdown that’s got to be recorded it’s got to be something I’m G to beat you worse than chucko all right so what’s going on now who you hanging out with in Hollywood my wife and children now and who’s the
Woman you married again model let me see let me see you know these models let me see you banged a lot of hot chicks this got Lu oh wow this is the best this one’s hot yeah not the little baby oh I was looking at the baby
Baby the wife’s hot what she she’s some kind of model I mean she tried she gave it a shot when she came out but she’s not she’s look at this picture she’s been a mom she’s been a mom for 14 years look at Mom very nice beautiful girl
Very nice what do you mean she’s been a mom for 14 years she has a 14 14-year-old son oh she has a you have a 14-year-old stepson yeah oh I didn’t know that yeah yeah but how did she get I mean she worked jobs she wasn’t she
Didn’t work jobs as a model to make money she did here and there but primarily she was just a good you know she had just regular jobs and did and and man I can’t believe you I went to a club one night I really didn’t want to
Go out I was just sick at another Hollywood club blah blah blah I walk in my friend and she has really beautiful blue eyes and uh I saw I said oh my God who’s that and then my friends said I know her I’ll meet meet you no I can’t I
Hate meeting girl I have to look across the room for like an hour you banged her that night no I didn’t we met do you think that’s what did it the fact that she held out uh no I mean that’s always a good thing but I mean I’ve been level
Girls don’t hold out the first night too you know right but I never married one of them right so you that was nice yeah no so yeah we spoke first night in the phone when I got back from the club and I told my buddy I said that’s I’m marrying that
Girl I knew it wow good for you yeah you were able to commit I was I still do and you didn’t knock her up and then have to get her mared I did knock her up yeah we KN wasn’t wasn’t it wasn’t on purpose but it happen that’s not why married we
Were dating almost a year and I knew that this is the girl fact the fact that that happened did she let you bring other girls home I don’t that I have no interestes next no way no no yeah me her and the baby in the same room and then
The other girl what is it so hey AJ how are you just have a qu it’s just a little gian’s creeping out in the back she saw AJ on the monitor who’s creeping out one of our interns why he says AJ’s hair kind of looks like a bad
Mannequin but AJ lost a few hairs that’s all listen what is he going to do AJ has a few hairs lose it what are you talking about I you know listen there’s any other interns want to speak up I by all means bring what’s wrong with he thinned
Out a little so you know listen what are you saying she looked into the monitor she went oh what happened to the top of come in AJ smack out yeah go ahead I give you permission sand trap I’m going to be I can’t where’s Tom hit
A golf ball in my head later on here we go why insult uh why ins were you insulting AJ Ben my friend why are you doing that I was having a private conversation you didn’t expect that in the back where I work right is that why
You’re ask so fat you sit down a l all day don’t you oh oh now wait I I just look my I’m sorry I’m I don’t know I look take off your Co it was a verbal was a verbal smack I put my body against yours all day long my wife would see
That that doesn’t turn me on that’s too big for me back there I’m not trying to turn you on well I want I don’t want your body against me it doesn’t turn me on don’t you want me turnning you on ripping those plugs out that voice would
I don’t have if I had plugs it would be a lot better off I would never do plugs I’m very busy wow you better walk fast to that back room you better you do slow jogs when now want oh no here we go again you just got turned down by a
Chick with a fat ass she first of all wait a second let me let me girl doubt about B she’s an intern of mine C you didn’t have to come who asked you to come in here report her private conversation her right who who else thank you stop it you leave now when
Does will come in AJ looks fine and and GI looks fine get out of here I say one more thing yeah AJ’s wearing like these real gay red clocks did you see why are you picking shoes on let me see e just see his hands whatever well I’m proud of
You in the old days you would have gotten up and smacked everything I wish it was the old days I know right believe me S could use a smack huh hey in the defense of GI she made a private comment there’s no need for S to do that is public well the two
Of you went she’s very beautiful and she said yeah and your intern was Michelle girl beautiful interns all of them they really do they’re actually unsackable yeah I don’t Smack it they’re unsackable so you’ve changed your whole life around you’re not going out at night no no you
Don’t hang out and and and see celebrities that was a big part of your life yeah was that’s something I I I go to one or two restaurants a week for a couple hours and come home all right you know it’s like a little baby home what
You can do and you watch the debates yeah I watch are you carry guy or a bush guy I I think Carri won last night yeah uh I was a bush Guy what’s happening like recently with the country he doesn’t seem he doesn’t turn me on with
This crap no I agree with you especially with your stuff yeah more more so than Iraq your stuff me even more yeah oh you should see what they got planned for me what more well I just got a letter from after my union uh sitting in saying
Please stop of course stop the increased in decency fines against individual performers announcers and broadcast journalists this is asking any member of after to take action right now and to write their Congressman WR Congress yes and they even give you a letter because most of us are too illiterate to
Actually write our yeah dear decision maker you you know I’m writing to urge you not to include increase fines for individual performers announcers and broadcast journalists in any legislation passed to deal with the broadcast of material deemed indecent Senator Brownback of Kansas is about to get this show off the
Air I can’t take it we got to right shut up we got to right we got to do it so I’m going to I’m going to do it I’m going to write I’m going to write he can’t beat your army they can’t beat your army did you contribute uh any
Money to the campaign I did not what’s wrong with you I will do it how do I do it last night was some kind of deadline I made a ution last night but I’m sure you can still get Democratic campaign well you got big money I don’t oh yeah right I see what’s
Doing over there oh please I can’t give any money I took my last dime and I sent it to him did you get a prenuptual agreement no I never would wow cuz I’m broke any I was broke any you’re not broke oh forgot I make money gambling
All that money you made at Daily News bet what bet betting click.com I bet I make crazy money no I don’t had a big money guy no I I don’t sa money I take care of everybody’s bills I’m ridiculous disgusting all right let’s go to uh High
Pitch Eric yes go ahead you’re on with AJ Ben a host of cold turkey I’ll tell you what that is in how are you I hate AJ Ben he sucks I want to [ __ ] slap the hell out of him oh come on you couldn’t [ __ ] slap I hate him I
Hate him oh come on Jeff the drunk go ahead J yes Jeff why are you such a [ __ ] oh de what does that mean the screening process has not changing no it is not very good yes Captain Js morning Howard yeah hey AJ are are you a aren’t you even a little
Bit embarrassed that you’re such a big [ __ ] who whoa who I don’t know see going to me I don’t know that JS I thought I thought him and I settled everything even had king of old blacks what happened between you oh that was 100 years ago what happened oh AJ’s a
Big oh he made fun of Linda Stacy my old editor and I went I tell him I’d beat the crap out of me had came W black up in front of me your birthday party oh I didn’t realize oh yeah we went we gotten clutches me and King o life wow well I
See that Captain JS hasn’t put it behind him I guess not no haven’t put it behind me I still think you’re a big [ __ ] all right well get start dialing some even 100 years later you’re still big [ __ ] right de geny you even embarrassed no I’m really not you little embarrassed
That you’re you’re such a failure how am how do I fail I don’t really get I fail I don’t get that what did you I mean outside of a phone what’s your accomplishment I really don’t know 15E accomplishment your accomplishment keep coming and going know well you’re a big failure that is
True big [ __ ] all right all right I don’t like what’s going on here I’m Dean go ahead say hello to AJ benj Dean Kan Dean Kane say hello to that guy spit on inight he’s such a man’s man be such a tough guy how do you explain what you
Did to John watch that tape you why people understand that so many years ago that’s guys do Sucker Punch The can I explain to your been explained so let him talk I’ll do one more time if you want a guy repeatedly that if he does one more bad
Thing you’re going to win you’re going to smack him and then he does the one more bad thing and you go in there and by the way Dean I don’t know what kind of [ __ ] you are but if I throw a left hand at somebody and my fingertips hit
It that’s not a sucker punch it’s it’s a [ __ ] slap and it wasn’t even right-handed for God’s sake he’d still be down it was right-handed he’d be he stopped stuttering he be seing straight not a man’s man is it what guys do you smash your glass on a guy guys do okay
Know so that’s not being a man you’re not a man you didn’t step to him next time AJ let me send you a letter to your I’ll I’ll send a letter to your house and tell you that I’m going to come and kick your ass and that’ll be a man’s man
You seem were you in therapy because you seem much more controlled you more controlled because like well there you go I still love said he was going to smack him and he smacked him I don’t get the I don’t go ahead what do you want to say
If he’s how’s it going I don’t know let’s see how his phone call goes AJ by the way I think AJ is the best guest Howard you’ve ever had I always that’s overboard thank you but now we’re going to find a Cy medium now no well
Here’s the thing AJ confirm or deny this what Donald Trump called me up about I’d say three weeks ago and he said that you got big in statur chy what’s that you got big in statute Trump is calling you up all right go ahead yeah all right
Good for you um he called me up and he why did he call you up because it was interview I mean because he wanted no he wanted it he wanted to um go on record about something with that Penthouse Pet so he he had some uh problem with
Something I wrote but then he got into tell the truth it was a wrong number what’s that I said he called you because it was a wrong number no no he had something to say all right so okay what did Donald Trump say to so then he gets in to AJ
And he says chy by the way AJ benza recently sent me a long letter saying I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve said to you in the past I hope that you can forgive me and then we can get Beyond it AJ benzer and we spoke him and I spoke
It wasn’t a long letter it was a brief it was brief it was an email and I sent it then then him and I spoke for a minute uh yeah when I got married and stuff I looked back on things and there was some moments in in those times with
Trump that just that I wish I I pull you were very angry with him yeah I forget why I was exir thing but you but I just looking back it was like enough of this crap and I just felt he was he said the this was up he was up and running with
That and you know just time went by and I just said let me go say I’m sorry to this guy for some things I said not everything I said did he accept your apology yeah he called up said great to he voice ta you know this it was it was
Fine all right all right so there that was big of you aent CLS about that yeah well there was some things I did that were wrong and some things he did that was go to do uh John John you’re on the air Howard good morning good morning I
Just wanted to call in and let AJ know he is the best guest you’ve ever had he should be part of the show wow well there you go I know he had some problems with Tom and John and whatever that Situation’s over how hire this guy all
Right the best thing had on there there you go well you see the tides are turning Dan the song parody man go ahead by the way Dan good morning everybody dan but by the way before you say anything let me applaud you for um your song ducky doodle which I think is a
Masterpiece uh if I may play it quickly Abol I love it very nice good for you I don’t know how you did that you know you know most of that wasn’t even an edit she actually made that sound I heard this I heard the
Song Right In what she did I only had to put an extra clip in there to make you complete you’re a genius thank you sir Daddy hi Daddy hello listen you know I used to really respect AJ and think he was a real standup guy and I know people
Have said this a million times but what nobody seems to point out is when you say you going have a beef with somebody and you’re going to settle it you look at him straight in the eye and you walk right up to their face when you walked
Into that office he was looking in the complete opposite direction intentionally it was a [ __ ] slap and it was a sucker punch I I it’s fair to say it’s a sucker [ __ ] slap sucker slap sucker slap it wasn’t a punch it wasn’t a punch how do you got why do you keep saying
Punch a punch when your fist is baled up what’s wrong with you man think it was a slap okay whether it was a slap or punch really irrelevant it’s the manner in which you did it it’s not irrelevant I say a bullet or a knife it’s one thing’s
Right one thing’s wrong well obviously this controversy is not going to go away it’s just not going to go away going to go obituary will say AJ Ben who s who did you know C what’s the word cure cancer who also smack s in John years
Ago on the stern showell right well you I like everything that you’ve done AJ that’s the one thing that’s tarnished by respect and you’re talking about Dan the song part and I don’t you know I don’t want to go there with it I know Maryann from Brooklyn go ahead how would I must
Agree with my peers I don’t like him the fact that a grown man could pi pick up his hands to another man in the studio I’ll never forget it and what’s your talent AJ I’m from Bon Her you’re just as Talent as as I am you have absolutely
Zero Talent you’re coming back on Howard to plug who knows what show that’ll be on Turkey cold turkey turkey M you know what Howard you think AJ I don’t even know how you’re in the studio again you’re wnab be husb been and all I need is p in my life
All AJ the you are the of C turkey I I um heard the premise of this this is you get a bunch of people it’s a reality show well yeah they all everything’s real now airport tell you tell a bunch of people they’re going on
A reality show you get them in the house and then you say to them listen forget what you really heard everybody was told they were gone one girl was told she was going to be the queen of her own Island you know the hot girl the hot the hot
Black girl was told You’ be a queen of an island uh the gay guy was told he was going to design underwear for celebrities you know one guy was going to be a NASCAR driver another n and they show up at this Courtyard in this big house in in B you know in
Hollywood California and they’re like n this can’t be the same show we’re all totally you’re 60 I’m 21 this is weird and then I come out and say here’s the deal you know you’re all going to be Co you’re filthy smokers and you’re going to quit in the next 30 days you lock
Them in the house and they have to quit smoking boy that should be fun and they get irritable and we see the whole process it’s torturing it’s funny yeah I mean I can’t believe it some of some of the crap that goes down there is pretty
Wild I mean you know you know and this is on PX TV packs out of out of the blue packs making them called you up and said I know NBC Stu KRA now who’s great he did um Average Joe I we we go back from
New York days and uh they went out to read for this part I’m like all right this sounds cool and I did it and uh you’re the host yeah so and I got they got a pickup they’re going to do another we’re going to tell another show after
All right good sounds nice all let me take a break we’ll come back I want you to sit in on the Mike Walker game you’re good at that oh go Inn this guy’s very good at it he knows everything going to play with don’t know at all I’ll do it
How do somebody win on C turkey if I quit smoking for 30 days what happened well the thing is there’s a lot there’s a lot of money at stake you know there’s thousands of dollars at Stak so if one person were to walk out of the house and
Say I’m quitting then everybody else kind of loses Dell so do people crack you know I you know you can’t say I can’t say this but let me tell you something there a [ __ ] fights sucker punches you know like you know smashed Furniture it gets sex it gets nasty
Let’s uh go to uh Mike real quick Mike go ahead you’re on the air Hey Howard just one one quick question what does AJ stand for I don’t know Alfred Joseph Alfred Joseph better call you AJ yeah I’ve been called Alfie for I was called I was
Called AJ the middle I was born Andrew you’re on the air hi Howard yes hey uh two comments AJ yo you did right I just SLA Stuttering John too I’m sorry I would I would have had to have really slapped him much more than you did well
I’ll tell you thank you all fairness many more many months after that when I came up constantly with interviews everybody says that’s like the thing that follows me on more than anything I always said yeah looking back I regret that happened sure I mean John we had
Well we had fun the whole show we had fun we had lot of fun a lot of laughs but you have to understand this house is like a fraternity house if you the guys around so often you [ __ ] with each other too much sometimes you know how this you crack that crack because
Because of reasons I told you about the show and this and that and right A lot of people speculated you were on drugs no I wish I had been it would have been a lot cooler if I if I had four per me John I would have been fine right
Now Joey Boots go ahead last word before the commercial then we’ll get to the Great Mike Walker hey AJ is your mother still alive no she died be careful now yeah I’d like to dig up a corpse and smack up for having you you cokehead why that’s not
Wait I know a guy that sold him Coke who know the guy yeah I know the guy you dop head dop head all right well he’s not I don’t I don’t this is an outrageous comment this is beyond belief yeah this is a beyond belief you’re not a drug user I have
Used drugs in the past absolutely yes Anthony go ahead of course already has you know what do you got yes Anthony let me hold it yeah ayj yeah hold on hold on hold on hold on all right let me get to the line go ahead there’s somebody in the line go
Ahead all right he did Anthony thank you thank you for that I would have kicked your ass yeah well there you go CU could youen absolutely that was cheesy and that was cheap bro BR first of all bro got hang up on bro I hay bro bro dude
All right bro we’re going to take a break the show is cold turkey if you’d like to check it out premieres this Sunday night at 10:00 on PX TV all right first of all John John’s you know John’s got like that kind of like semi retouch
Gr a little bit he would that would have been tough fight oh yeah John’s tough ret yeah he he just goes ret that’s a scary thing yeah let’s uh let’s take a break everyone can calm down this was a very in very very heated I I my Publishers
Might wanted me out of here I have no idea what’s going to happen next we’ll uh we’ll take a break we’ll play a little Mike Walker cool calm everybody down and then um we’ll be back after this thank you 95 x hello hello yes do you have California
Ro okay this is the Japanese rest what he California Ro uh-huh oh yeah do you have heel he yes oh yeah you spicy tuna yes oh yeah yeah the apost Theus yes oh yeah did you read to me okayy excuse me could you give me a tphone number please can you read the
Order back to me I already did please read it that one more time California yeah okay yeah it just keep your mouth open open nice and wide yeah of sh yeah oh God no more yeah look at yeah oh that’s gross oh yeah God knows what that is AJ
Ben join joing us the host of cold turkey a brand new show that airs on Pax TV 10:00 Sunday night
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