The Return of Jonny May

Back by popular demand former England winger Jonny May returns to the GBR studio.

On his return, Jonny discusses broken toilets, getting financial tips from the kitman and many more beautifully quirky stories.

Will the 2nd album prove to be a hit with the father-in-law?

Season 4 of Good Bad Rugby is sponsored by Continental Tyres.

#EnglandRugby #SixNations #podcast

Since Johnny last appeared on the show we have in and dated we’ve requested to get him back involved and with tins sunning himself line just read your warm unique New York a traner enjoys a fine chewing gum Alex hello Dream Team you’re reading the wrong part and welcome along to the good

Bad and the rub be in partnership with our good friends Continental Tires yeah right on Q Johnny just do the [ __ ] things cuz your voice will sees up again the arist has oddly shaped feet is an arsonist somebody obsessed with fire yes Christ how now brown cow how now brown

Cow are you going to be okay I hope so I am nervous because I don’t want my voice to pack in but we’ve got for those can’t who can’t see started on those I’ve Global Dred them what’s a global drow that’s the service that we have to use

Before we take any medicine vitamin or anything like that for antidoping you put whole Soo in your antidoping ramador is now banned in competition of J from a hall Soo that’s pretty punch comp yeah mhm but we had that are you taking TR today to get no way no way I have yeah

Um okay so so Haled you Lo Joe says Halls SAS are not prohibited not prohibited excellent you got some Harry bow they prohibited I’d rather not eat those why is that rig yeah just too many sugar um oh we got some Oreo ice cream in case your vocal cords that’s been

There a while now it’s probably melted oh so turn your nose up against I’m hoping to be all right okay but we were hoping you going to be all right last time yeah someone planted a small seed that you were going to be unable to speak and over 30 minutes you completely

Lost your voice had a breakdown and then your bladder SE your prostate seems to SW up the sze of a watermelon I have got a pile what what what’s it called what’s his name Jeff no I don’t you know have you seen it yeah it pops out from time to time yeah

[ __ ] did you pop it back in again I’ve shown the lad set well the pile what’s his name hasn’t got a name but it look it needs a name if it’s going to pop in and out and do you charge it rent I mean it’s technically living in your

Body it’s basically A Hern it comes out when I’m stressed off fatigue can I can I go home no no right okay so your voice is fine but your anus might isus right now is fine it’s weakened that’s news my voice my voice is at risk right but your

Drug testing is covered the drug testing is covered you talk about these sock socks you got on why why are you wearing England socks they’re not England socks they’re Chimera socks um which is recovery gear I played yesterday they’re car socks for compression recovery but there’s infrared technology embedded in

The in the fabric which increases blood flow it does it you should probably get some infrared pants see if you can pop the the thing back it needs it doesn’t need stimulation it needs probably ice I can’t hold on to this show for very much Longer hello everybody and welcome along to this week’s episode of good the B and the rugby in partnership with our very good friends at Continental Tires I’m not sure the previous content was exactly what was in the deck when they signed up to be our title sponsor but

It’s what they’ve got at the the start of this week’s show we have ladies and gents we’ve got an assortment of survival kit here we’ve got sweets and ice cream and hall soothers because it’s a great pleasure to welcome back John May for the return which is a little bit

Like John Wick but with a bit more coughing and spluttering yeah yeah that sort of having to have a lie down movie screen character how are you I’m good I feel embarrassed a little bit to like look at the camera I’m you do you take on the camera give a little side eye

Nervous we are so excited to have you back I’m I’m cautious cuz the sequel is Never As Good As the First hit this this can only go Point are we allowed to say that we’ve done a five show deal yeah we haven’t put pen to paper but that’s what

We’re hoping for for five in total five four from four from this one on onwards from this one will be four so we’re very excited that you are now part of the furniture do you feel you’ve assumed the throne sat in that seat cuz it went well

When I was in that seat and now tins isn’t here seat’s got nothing to do with it Superstition you get better when you see yeah better yeah do you believe in the no you get princess castle sit that a butterfly is Wing half way across the world can cause a tornado somewhere else

I’m all over that yeah but that’s just life life decisions isn’t it if you turn left onto the tube as opposed to right on thebe I mean tins is going to be a little bit upset that you’ve got hemorrhoid on his seat I imagine that’s talking about butterfly wing your

[ __ ] pile staining up his executive Thro yeah when you say to TS oh by the way we saw John’s pile be like I didn’t know he had a big Country House in the lost a Shir no one it’s one that seeped through your canvas seat it’s fine at the

Moment some Reflections and reaction to our first Show with Johnny may five stars said Lawrence Santa best episode ever even longtime listener first time commenter thank you for creating such a safe and still fun space for a fellow neurod Divergent chicken the respect you have for Johnny may is evident I think

It was your best show yet although it was chaos and wouldn’t have worked with other guests it did so well with Johnny what a character he must have been so much fun and such inspirational person to play alongside thank you for all you have done for England rugby great show

As well very kind than quite nice give us a little flavor of of the feedback to show one because we have been in undated please make Johnny a permanent part of the team he’s pure gold one of the best episodes yet Great Character and great insights and nice to hear the team made

The joke of the media attacks and use them as fuel please bring Johnny back for another episode wow just wow wow just wow wow just wow for me this is the best episode yet quite by quite some distance pure chaos with absolute gold bring Johnny back this has kept me grip

The whole episode absolute chaos brilliant imagine Johnny and Mara both in the show at the same time wants to come on does he does he I’m not sure I can handle that I could I could just about do one at a time he would fit on

That sofa with you no well I can move up we’re right tins gu let’s make it happen Australia we don’t need him no no well we don’t want say we don’t need him my God rugby needs to let personalities be free and the sport will grow I’ve

Watched Johnny Ki as a Welshman for 15 years I did not know he was sitting on this fantastic personality I love it Johnny give us no that’s all very very kind thank you very much for everybody who’s um given positive feedback nice no

I did I did enjoy it it was a good laugh like it’s quite a nice life you get on a train first class thank you that’s right it’s nice uh what’s the station called that I’ve padd is it Paddington yes Paddington Paddington prep I like Pratt

And a taxi to the thing it’s just a nice day it’s different to like a a gym and a and a and and then a contact session hope pile back in and put your recovery on so no it was a different type of day

For me but I did enjoy it and thank you for all the for all the positive feedback um even my father-in-law enjoyed it can I give him a shout out please do this is your show um I know you’re not my biggest fan but um trust

Me you’re one up on someone else yeah I’m really pleased that you enjoyed the episode I actually gave him the blackee Jin um did he enjoy the Tipple um why is he not your biggest fan there’s a few things I’ve done top your head the latest one is I don’t

Wear trousers right is that cuz of the pile and what would you mean no not because of the pile I like of a Sunday dinner I should it’s news to me as of recently but I should wear a pair of trousers to dinner hold on but you wearing you’re wearing I’m wearing

Shorts or or tracksuit bar fine right the other ones were I think that’s I think that is I think he’s got a point I think Sunday lunch if you’ve been invited over today as for Sunday lunch and you’re turning up in in just a pair of short well what kind of shorts

We talk just my basketball shorts yeah that’s not me isn’t it I’m normally in my Birkin stocks and my my and my track bottoms up but anyway I did make the effort to put some travels on it over Christmas but then I had diarrhea so I’d

L in bed for two days oh my God Almighty you and your B we get any um did we get anything for that for Johnny is the chemist bucket it what else I stacked the straw wrong the straw yeah so they main their main yield crop their speciality is the thatching straw not

Many people do that still they Farmers then yes right um so then like basically manually you’ve got to stack the straw and he showed me how to do it and I thought I could do it differently and all my work fell down so that had to be restacked so can imagine imagine coming

For Christmas he shot everywhere had to lay in bed he’s [ __ ] up your straw he your biggest ear he’s turned up a pair of [ __ ] there’s another couple of things what oh we had the wedding at there field but anyway I don’t drink very often but I got drunk at my wedding

And I pissed in the pond and they’re convinced it killed all the fish yeah does that kill fish yeah all them supplements you Tak um the fish died um I rode the quad bike on the garden and there’s been a few things wonder who hates you why does he

Love you though yeah no he loved the podcast sat there watched it all enjoyed it and he’s got a bottle of black ey Jin do you think we have helped him understand you better maybe it’s a step in the right direction I hope so I just

Want I want to just take pick up with one point here the bit where it said the part about the inspirational person bit I’m going to just put my hand up and say I I loved playing with you and like you were a top man I I never thought you

Were in inspiration I thought you were a [ __ ] lunatic that that um you’re quite comfortable with that as a kind of job yeah we’ve like with any team you need different ingredients don’t you and then like the Ultimate Team aligns the ingredients correctly and you get the

Best output um but there’s no recipe for the best team because if you had a recipe everybody would be able to create the best team yeah I saw a very interesting clip online this week actually which was Stuart broad talking about basball yeah and he said with basball everything that Brendan

And Ben Stokes wanted from the team was just positivity you had to be positive when you enter the team room Stuart BR said my natural Incarnation is to walk in and moan because that’s what I do but he had to condition himself to get into the mindset that when he walked into the

Team room he would start with a god wasn’t the coffee good at the hotel today or whatever it was and he just try and throw in lines which means you comeing in with a bit of sunshine and you’re trying to inspire those around you from there basetball obviously goes

On is there anyone in this England setup who provides that or is it just just 23 30 34 think the British I think like there’s negative which is negative and there’s negative that is positive like if we can laugh about things and take a joke out of things that’s a net positive

But if we’re going to talk oh the coach is crap and the way that’s negative negative but there are so you’ve got you’ve got positive yes you’ve got negative positive and negative yes correct split that give me a percentage of this s Squad pure positivity no there is a few like there

Are people who love life in Camp I benell Jamie George Elliot Daly Danny care for instance they they are they’re full of beans like um life’s their oyster is that the world word we go with it yeah the world’s their oyster whatever that means but it means like

They’re up for golf they’re up for dinner like they’re loving it and having a like there are very positive people there are um some negative positive people um and then there are probably are some grumpy by Nature people but on the on the whole yeah on the whole oh

It’s a it’s a really good group where are you um I like to try and be positive and then also make a joke out of some of the negatives so net I’d love to think I’m positive right askk I’m ne’s negative posi like net is a positive

Down kind of [ __ ] and then you just see like Johnny wandering aimless around with like one flip-flop one boot one boot missing a hat all right Johnny is anyone seeing my trousers anyone about right Lads just an announcement whoever turned my bed over and covered it water

That’s like the eighth time today and I you sit back and go I can’t help you I don’t want to get involved I don’t want to get but you know my life isn’t as bad as that and then I just carry on so yeah I quite enjoy and also you would you

Would take the piss out of everything but you did that presentation didn’t you after the 2015 which went down interestingly yeah well it went down unbelievably well but part of the people that so I I did a presentation 2015 they were like Andy Farrell said could you do like some

Awards um you know uh to hand out like bottles of wine for people and and I went well what do you mean you know can I just be me and he went yeah absolutely be you and it was things like I handed out a guy called Matt Parker

Who was um lovely guy but he um you know he he came up with all these figures and stuff and when we first Ted the tour there was like you know we’re going to train at 100 25% of our of our maximum and by the time we get to the World Cup

We’re going to be pinging and we you know we did 8,000 quatron better than the 2,000 we done before and all these flames and charts just utab bolics right and then I did a presentation obv got knocked out and I and I basically went look Matt with all those Figures it’s

Going to lead to one place one place only and i’ superimpose his face on a job center it was really funny but just like 12 months too soon oh really that’s negative negative netive it was negative positive but just probably it was it was

FR soon do you know what I do want to get into you with Johnny is that one of the really interesting things that fell out of our first show was that actually how inspirational you are well that’s kind it is kind fellas love the show my 15-year-old son is on a spectrum he

Plays school and Club rugby but really watches rugby on TV we listen to your latest show together and howled with laughter and joy it’s the best rugby podcast I’ve ever listened to unscripted hilarious and henic engaging so it’s quite a lot of back patting here this is

Mainly for you rather than us but a safe we get a lot of crap normally a safe space where Johnny could just be Johnny you guys got the band just perfect and as I said my son was roaring with laughy session he could so easy relate so easy

To Johnny’s stories his anxiety and life experiences well done best always I always feel like I giving you a safe space to Johnny being Johnny is it um is it is this because you were quite interesting on that show although very fleetingly but you said I’ve never ever

Put myself out there because I never really wanted want I wanted to I think like I don’t know it’s partly it is partly how we’re trained media yeah um don’t say anything that can come back to get you or always make it about the team youve parked that in the last half an

Hour for sure pardon you’ve parked that in the last I have so I don’t need to be worried about that anymore but no when you’re preparing for a test match let’s say you’re playing Wales or something in the week that the typical question would be like is there any revenge or do you

Hate them as much as you hate us and I think it like you just wouldn’t want to be on the back page that like of course when we go to the millennian or whatever that they all their all their um fans are flicking their fingers at you and

Yeah we want to get them you say something like that and all you are is just more attention on the back page and like why would you why why are the players so worried about that why maybe this next generation is probably grown up with it more and they’re more

Comfortable doing that and hopefully we will see more personalities come out certainly the stress of getting through the week with people nicking my sandals um and then nicked everything and then having to play a test match at the end of the week like I I I was on the edge

Like if I forgot my gum Shield that was enough to tip me over the edge let alone um being on the back page of a paper to stop running when you like got into this Casio I actually um I started the um we played New Zealand in the Autumn we got

About 20 minutes in and I I was like oh [ __ ] I’m still wearing my Casio I was like well what the [ __ ] do I do with it I can’t just throw it on I put it in my sock because like the way it works is like you give the physio or the water

Man the watch Edd’s like what’s going on mate and they Johnny Johnny’s just giv me he would Eddie would have been like well get what where’s his head at like I was worried what Eddie would think that I started and played 20 minutes of a

Test match with a Casio on um so I just tucked it in my sock and didn’t tell anybody I just put it in my bag at half time right is that why you keep referring to as a Cass it’s just a watch but but a brand name no no no there’s no

There’s no um there’s no sponsorship here it’s just a good watch it on you can’t it’s probably going to cut somebody or get me in trouble or anything but anyway yeah basically is I wouldn’t wanted to have put myself out there because I just didn’t want to be

Talked about or be any like good or bad or anything just it’s just stress isn’t it yeah if that makes sense yeah you don’t I after last after last show what was your the further you got away from the building what level of anxiety what you’d feared that you’d said got into

Your head yeah that was that’s what I George is here today because wonderful beautiful George you can’t see Johnny’s basically now got a carer we’re not paying for her to be here but out of his own pocket he’s basically got a care I’ve just SE I’ve

Just seen her writing down a lot of time codes and drawing lines through things so far we’ve done two and a half hours of recording to get to this point just five minutes yeah but no that obviously this is a bit different and new for me

And never thought I’d be doing it but I’m at the stage of my life and career where I need to start exploring doing other things do yeah definitely stack straw stacking straw ain’t good I would yeah fashion ain’t going to cut it no so

It need to try new things and I did like I said the train is quite nice I like prep the train can I another inspirational question if you went back in time this is a question from D Stanley but and it’s our Continental question of the week if you went back in

Time and met a 13-year-old Johnny may what advice would you give yourself oh geez um I mean I wouldn’t I have no regrets and I wouldn’t want to change anything but there are certainly times where I’ve been too anxious and too stressed or too down about things um but can you change

That without changing the output because it’s those times potentially where you’re down and anxious that like make you do your stretching or make you go do your extra Sprints or can you do you see what I mean so it’s a difficult um scale to balance um but of course yeah you

Look back and think blood Li in Hell things that were really important I’ve just had a baby son and like things that maybe were really important maybe you realize okay that didn’t matter so much but when you’re living it and you’re it’s everything to you and it it still

Is very important to me um it’s it’s the fact that you care that makes you want to get better and and it makes you hard on yourself and what has been the best I’m going to call it coping mechanism but what has been the best way that you’ve found to get rid of

Whatever levels of anxiety yeah I just get lost in the routine of it so like stick to what you know no just like the harder I can work and if if I’m stressed about this right what can I go do about it do I go watch a bit of footage do I

Write in my book do I go do some stretching do I go do my recovery do I get lost in my Loop of of of of x y and Zed do I do my extras do I so so that’s how I coped is I just got lost in my preparation I was

Going to say because actually Ellis has been very open in the past about his disaia Etc we live in an era where everybody’s looking for a label of some sort and yet you’re not that interested in that you are who you are it exactly I I think people want a reason or an

Excuse maybe to say why I’m not good at something or parents particularly oh my son my son struggles with this because he’s got this label when the reality is everybody’s on a spectrum of some people are more sociable some people are quieter some people have more confidence

Some don’t some people are better at drawing some people are better at reading some people are good at maths and and today’s society particularly in America with like big farmer going in my down my conspiracy route now but like if a kid can’t really pay attention he’s

Active and he’s bored they need to put him on on fat means to say he’s got ADHD when really he’s just a young boy full of beans and he he’s probably bored with what they’re teaching him at school so um no like everybody’s like I said earlier about everybody being a

Different personality I can Embrace that um I probably do have slightly different personality to to a lot of my teammates but that’s a cool thing and I think you need that’s a great thing about our game is that it it it celebrates and needs different body shape sizes personalities

Everything and and like I said you’re looking for the combination of of people to bring about a a good game of rubby it is true as well people are always looking for for labels I’ve said this a number of times but actually the labeling is only the the start of it

It’s not a get out of jail for it’s not a it’s not a if you if you if you’ve got something that’s actually where it begins so it I think people sometimes go oh well I’ve got that and that’s it no that you got that and this is how you

Work with it and actually you can’t then just hide behind it I think if you’ve got an issue or you’ve got there’s you’re different and people are different you know I mean I I I did this interview with the independent I somehow accidentally become sort of a face of

This of ADHD you know I got diagnos as eight before anybody had it or they were self diagnosing on on Tik Tok they put me on medication I couldn’t take any more medication cuz I was um getting drug tested um it taught me to concentrate a littleit a bit more it’s

Been my superpower to allow me to do lots of different things I you I’m sure I’m a nightmare to be be with or work with or whatever but actually it’s not held me back I’ve never used it as a crutch never spoken about it but you

Know they kind of a lot of people now are looking especially parents watching these programs and when I did it people were going oh my kids got this my it sort of doesn’t matter what they’ve got it’s sort of now how do you then manage

It and what do you find to unlock their talent and what what are you going to do to to start the journey and learn more about it and move forward because it’s just not the answer you know it’s the question judee colbrook wanted us to go back to a number of unanswered

Stories from episode one there are a number of items you put on the list that we didn’t cover Tom what have you been doing can we hear the chicken story what were the antics of the England team during the 2020 Co Six Nations tell us about the pits beno’s exit from the

England team in 2019 and the postmatch song we’ll do maybe we’ll do that live one no we don’t do that because although it’s an era and um landscape now of more access more access which is like we just discussed we want more people to come out and show their

Personalities etc for me and my Reflections are that the changing room is a secred place for the team would you like to any more you can share about the pits oh the pits is basically the the changing rooms at Gloucester are appalling and certainly before the

Revamp of them when we were at harbury and they got Nick in the pits by the likes of the the ear of people that I came through with that molded me slightly but we had a great time Andy Hazel yeah Andy Hazel luk narrow will James Mike Tindle James like what we’re

So so fortunate to have such an amazing group and that was some of the best days playing for glester with that team but they were so appallingly made and ventilated and cleaned that like this virus um we don’t really know what it was it was like a black ring because

About 10 years ago this virus it’s not Co a black circle so it wasn’t ringworm but like this black circle appeared you’re telling me that in in the changing rooms the black death in the this circle this black ring would appear like oh no it’s got you and what would

It do to you it was just a black ring I don’t think SP Liv it was a living it was a living entity what like like Venom from Spiderman any where the black but anyway it’s called the pits because it was so ming in then this bug comes along but we

All had to go for testing and then you were categorized as like uh symptomatic carriers carriers or not infected so like Charlie sharos he loves getting this happen yeah Charlie sharers was a carrier but no symptoms of the black ring of the black ring I had nothing

Thank God and then like a handful of people had this black ring like on their leg on their chest on their side okay yeah like it’s just pretty rank isn’t it that’s definitely it’s definitely an RPA matter right so you’re so due to unhygienic conditions you created a bacterial virus made

Um me market it was made in the glosser Chang rooms the black ring right and what does the black ring do you just leaves your black ring or does it like leg fall off I know Darren daviduk had it I mean I can send a couple of

Messages I don’t know what the black ring did but it wasn’t it’s pretty rank isn’t it well I mean depends it could be a bit of a fashion State I’ve got the old black ring but if itless your leg falls off starts decaying it wasn’t good

It was wasn’t news it was just a ring but it was it was Rank and it’s certainly not good um okay not good I’ve had ring worm before from from training it when the bastards knit your towel isn’t it the filthy ones they knit your

Towel you show your get R my sort of MMA gym it’s kind of Rife on the mat ring worm you your arm yeah that’s like yeah like it’s not great scrum pox yeah scrum pox fat front row people yeah when they rub rub yeah like yeah they get like I

Don’t know Legions not not Legion not Legion car bunkers and psts beno’s exit from the England team in 2019 anything You’ like to share that is this I haven’t heard the story iell in my soul now yes you have yet welcome to the dark side so here are

The two questions I never wanted this for myself will Beno mind you telling the story Ben not so much will Mike Brown mind potentially well Mike Brown actually sold a story to the sun didn’t he to to to to clear it up didn’t he remember during the World Cup period um

No but it’s a shame it’s a shame for both players who have probably gone on the I love BR I just mean he did his story he came out and spoke so basically we we go to we get a social in you Portugal uh Italy Italy so we

Were in Tris so we went on a social I’ve got another good story about the security Bill and Ferg who are useless at England and they won’t mind me talking about them I’m happy to talk about them it involves Ed Sheeran after the World Cup final can I go to the

Toilet you’ve done bloody well actually Johny can we just actually acknowledge lost his voice go do the stop go then that’s it stretch out do you want to have a little lie down ice cream if you soiled yourself and there’s big trouts no you take your time there’s no hurry

It’s quite something what is quite evident is that uni he’s like a sort of power source do you know what I mean like so we’ve had a lot of people on this set before but no one has had quite such a 360 kind of wherever you go something’s happening which whichever

Part of his life you talk about there’s a disaster a catastrophe a win something to celebrate I’ve never are a really professional swe swe like Chloe absolutely adores him she’s she he’s the for him for her he is the most fascinating person I’ve ever played with you just like just sitting there asking

Questions the way his mind works what he thinks about you know how he interprets stuff it’s just it’s amazing and he’s actually he’s interesting he’s very intelligent he’s a shrewd operator he’s not he’s not stupid but I I I I always like to go on with Johnny but he cuz he

Was always with Joe Mara always with the lads there was always someone stealing something or doing something to him or something had happened or and and I was like I haven’t got time for this in my life don’t because if you start involved in that if you start messing around

Suddenly your stuff starts going missing and then you know then you’re in a world of the vort yeah then you’re Vortex he takes Revenge they take revenge on him and then you know and then things like I said just ran straight into the golf cart you know because he forgot to stop

Just stuff like that it’s just amazing he’s back he’s back we do um you need the microphone yeah we’ll do um we’ll do the Beno and we’ll do the bid and F security and then we’ll just maybe draw draw breath draw breath that’s enough for this week let’s do Beno and Mike

Brown okay so we’re in traviso we’ve trained really hard everything’s going pretty well we go on a team it’s not the it’s not like the the most but I guess the viewers and what is our demographic who are we going after with this not sure your father-in-law your mother

Apparently these are new these are new people they wasn’t they wouldn’t have traditionally watched it oh what they they just came on it because you came oh yeah C have they clicked like And subscribe and share he wouldn’t know how to do that could you help them with that

A simple farmer is he yeah um it’s I find this one quite funny my mother-in-law went on like a computer course and like she knows how to close a window cuz you Kiss It Goodbye Oh that’s lovely that’s goodby lovely yeah I like that very much yeah they they teach you

Non technological things as well from Farm life so like if you’ve got eggs that that says they’re P your sale by date if you put them in a like they are I had some if they float they’re off and if they sink so that could be good for

Demographic if I’m thinking of like student rugby players yes eggs are good for breakfast you might have some outdate eggs so what you’re saying is we could tap into a whole new aord of kettin students who didn’t know I suspect they might like listening or watching yeah so if they’ve got eggs

That are over the date if they go in a glass of water and they sink you’ll find to eat them W I think had they had to float Flo off got air in them basically they would have fermented bacteria something for everybody MH btio yeah so

Yeah it’s quite a quick story we went out got well I I never really I wasn’t comfortable and a few of us aren’t getting too drunk on these England things cuz you’re still representing England and you’re still at work who else is in sober Club no it’s not sober

It’s like have a couple or one time you did get drunk the toilet got destroyed remember oh yeah do we is that well I tell that story and my own my standup tour but so Johnny you know you know got the your debut it was my Second Debut

Second Debut Second Debut apparently the first one didn’t count right why were you allowed too what your someone’s bullied you into it I’ve already done mine shut [ __ ] up yeah shut up and have a drink so yeah I’m forced to drink anyway we’ve got we we do three three

Stories the Italy one amazing how quickly they clock I know um so much to drink anyway you’ve got to have a drink with every member of the team you don’t manage to do it but you have a lot anyway I go into the toilet to be sick

Bitty 12 Trees locks me in the toilet for your own safety or for how did he do that from the outs I can’t even a key we must have a key or SC maybe he thought you were locked in you no no he Barbed me shut so couldn’t get out so I was

Like oh okay I know what to do but anyway we’re in this really historic lovely Mosaic building and they right at the end of the Six Nations like you do in the past preco you would do all like Brass Band like food and black tie and

It is a good event that they put like they’re very hospitable is that rug with some stuffy all bloke and a bit of chicken you know like far as you can see volon you know Salam anyway I was sick Billy 12 Trees blocks me from getting out so I

Was like oh no issue I just stand on the toilet jump with the cube will come out the next one I stand on the toilet this like old V like China toilet smashes breaks splits in half and water starts pissing out the [ __ ] um out of one of

The pipes and Billy opened it and like caught me red-handed like halfway up the thing he’s like what have you done and I’m like I didn’t [ __ ] do anything it’s like you’ve stopped me from getting and anyway we we both just walk out of there like guilty is looking very

Guilt away cover his [ __ ] water toilet your face like I’d messed up like Billy made me mess up obviously bil me yeah if you tra somebody in the toilet what we me to do not trying to escape anyway we go back and sit our tables and anyway within minutes the police are like

Racing in a line through the thing um because it’s like um protected um historical it’s like a really nice building and and I and anyway we you broke this on your Second Debut for it’s the end of the Six Nations so what’s that my Sith cap but yeah um that toilet broke

L l you go to Lanny told me to go to bed I had to go to bed this has turned into quite a therapy session it is therapy of the trauma of playing for England is is essentially apologize to Italians right apologize Italians pay the money say I was sorry

P666 60p 66 can you put that can you offset that against tax loss of some sort tax bill of some sort no International crime International crime she got away with it right okay yeah so that happened anyway that’s that Ben’s here Mike Brown we’re in traviso we’re getting drunk like I said there’s

There’s always a few people who you have to be concerned about on those socials there’s less of them around now um like Dicky would be a concern Billy do you man Mark conc we tried to help we tried to help but also stay away right it’s a fine balance distance

Helping with a PO like a pool que like poking him no no no no no no put that down um Beno got too drunk like it happened I um like I don’t know I don’t know how I’ve got into this sat tell in these stories

Because we put it on the list from show one but never got into it we don’t have to go anyway to my understanding like apologies to anybody who I mentioned who didn’t want to be mentioned and we might not even show this anyway but I think Jo

Like what the joke you play when like you pretend there’s a fly on you and you slap somebody I haven’t played that since not a game that you might have played or not but that that occurred and I think brownie got slapped right um it might have been marrow did it but anyway

Ben been too drunk found it and obviously brownie was brownie wouldn’t have been drinking he was like really professional guy didn’t didn’t do all that he’s always that’s why he’s still playing and he’s just still in great shape all those things um so obviously brownie wasn’t like in that mood at that

Time and didn’t take well to it understandably but then benti probably got carried away with the reaction that he got and probably slapped him a couple more times um and then like we anyway we’ve we’ve somehow like Bill and Ferg would talk about them in a minute OB

Just standing around not doing much at all just watching them saying Oh the boys you got to look like we don’t any not I don’t really know what they do but they were there um we we’ almost navigated as a team our way through all potential things that could

Go wrong they hadn’t and it was on the Walk backat of the bus um brownie was walking to the bus and they were sort of yelling stuff to each other about something and then yeah they turned around and like I think uh Benny landed a pun pun on Brownie and

Like got him got him with his he had a black eye and Ben had a ripped shirt and and then we got on the bus and it was all kicking off it was like a it was awful really like lots of boys were calling out boys some boys were

Crying um it was bizarre and then we like sounds like a ler away trip it was just so weird and then then Lads were like right we need to sort all this out as a team and go down to the basement now and then other lad’s like this is

The worst time to go and sort things out um and it was just like a fight club or something no not like a Fight Club it was just this was the time that during this world cup Eddie had had us with this um honesty woman and she stoked a

Few feathers within Camp like she was one who encour fether or to have difficult conversations to sit down and go I hate you things were yeah honestly things were Brewing cuz like we had to go and tell people like things we didn’t like like like it was really weird She

Made Who did who did you who came to you nobody came to me but there was I’m not going to say who and what but there was there was cues for the same someone got C had a queue around the block wasn’t it some there was all anyway people were

Having conversations that didn’t need to be having and forcing them and up there was so much I just don’t like I don’t like you’re prick you’re loud what anyway there there was stuff simmering um and then that sort of tips it all off and then I think Steve bwick had to go

And wake up Beno in the morning the next morning and Ben was like on the bus like he was still steaming on the bus to the airport like Steve BWI was in my room in the why is Steve Weck in my room that’s my Aussie accent he’s like yeah he come

To wake you up but he was just so drunk and then the the bus was awkward and then at the front Eddie stood up and he’s like right boys you [ __ ] up um you can’t handle your piss and um then like off the back of that uh Brownie and

Tio got removed from the um removed from the camp and that was it well I I think I need therapy to get a sh it’s a shame for both of them that they like maybe that’s just in my opinion maybe that’s just something that happens um does does it happen at

Gloucester as well do you have proper R we have quite like we do train Tuesdays there’s like maybe more so than other clubs but we do fight qu not we the forwards will will fight quite a lot on a on a Tuesday yeah lost nine games on

The truck I imag there be more fighting well I’m glad we put that one to bed we go B really quickly give us Bill and fer B fer Excellent Adventure um so anyway World Cup final 2019 we lose we get back to the hotel we’ve got like the penthouse of a hotel somewhere

I actually did have a few drinks and felt quite drunk quite quickly probably because of the stress of it all um but it’s a weird environment anyway some people know some people don’t know but Ed shearon is like a family friend of of ours of mine stop it um and it what what

Is there not a connection mom talking my mom so like my my mom is friend close friends with his dad right my mom’s best friend his godmother like they like they’re in a network of friends so when we were like kids if the parents got together we play football with each

Other but Ed would obviously be inside playing guitar because that’s what he liked to do um so basically say he’s [ __ ] nerd and you you were the athletic one so he said no just said he was inside playing guar um he’s done right off the back of it I wish I was if

I had one inch of his talent anyway I think he was his family musical he’s quite classically trained and he my mom and dad play guitar and stuff and he saw my mom playing guitar and apparently so my mom he was interested he was interested my mom taught him taught him

Some cords and off he went so apparently that is so talented man apparently that happened can you imagine in a parallel universe if he’d gone out to play football and you’d picked up your mom’s guitar yeah you wouldn’t be here now no you so musical I’ve done the drums my

Family’s a bit musical really um but no anyway so Penthouse of a Japanese Hotel all the friends and families are coming in it’s a bit of a weird vibe people are getting drunk some people most people are upset it’s all a lot to take in Ed

Sharan’s Dad was with my mom and they were both steaming like they’ve been drinking all day you’re not like related to Ed no oh right you’re not really his brother no but anyway my mom and dad my dad doesn’t drink my mom used to drink a lot she

Doesn’t drink at all anymore but she was um she had a few drinks Ed here and dad haded a few drinks and then my mom’s like Oh well Ed’s Ed was at the final and he wants to see his dad and I was like okay well but like I’ll go and let

Him in or whatever like I haven’t seen him for a long time um but like the sadness of it is Ed is literally so famous that like he doesn’t get to see his dad very often he’s got to do this appearance and go here and be there and

His dad was like yeah I’d love to see that could you get him in and I’d obviously you at these post rubby match um events you get wristbands um so I’d obviously given wristbands you probably got three each let’s say so my mom and dad and or I got

Five my mom dad Ed sharan’s dad my brother-in-law and his mate were out there they got wristbands they up in the bar with us so anyway go out up comes the elevator Ed Shar with his Entourage of two his wife cherry and his mate and um I walk to the

Door I’m like I was going to take head to see his dad and Bill and Fergus stood at the Rope they’re like I was like yeah sorry it’s said cheering here um he wants to come and see his dad and Ferg this like stubborn Scottish security is

Like I’m not going to do a Scottish accent but he’s like yeah where’s his wristband I’m like Ferg are you taking the [ __ ] piss this is Ed Sheeran and he wants to see his dad he doesn’t need a [ __ ] wristband to go and see his

Dad he’s like this is what he said he was like well I’ve just turned Pierce francis’s mates around because they didn’t have a wristband oh Lord I was like fer [ __ ] hell mate Piers like nothing Pi France is lovely guy bit different like Pi France’s mate Ed

Sheeran like God knows where the Knight could have gone he could have come in SE his dad Ed he a guitar off you go have a sing anyway I’m like so you’re turning Ed sharan away from seeing his dad and he’s like well they all can’t come in

And I was like Ferg you’re joking me but anyway I I said I’m just going to get let Ed see his dad quickly it was quite sad really I snuck head round the side he get his dad a hug and left are you [ __ ] serious he didn’t him s my life

So anyway you honestly this yes this happened so then anyway within minutes of him leaving Jamie George and Elliot da run out like is that where that Shar had shearan here isn’t he I was like yeah he was he’s gone now B and Ferg wouldn’t let him in cuz he didn’t have a

Wristband [ __ ] yeah so Ty difficult anything to do with you’re like what idiots yeah so then it’s like the the WhatsApp group just pinging off like [ __ ] you Bill [ __ ] you f what the [ __ ] have you done Ed sh and cheers guys blah blah Bill used to be

Harry’s close yeah so Bill’s har he’s bill’s good I don’t know fergo don’t know but I met him really guys they’re both like they’re not security they’re Logistics they they sit around they drink coffee they’re really good morale um like um they used to be they

Help they help move kit they help us do stuff but certainly those are their security interactions like they did turn away Ed sheering because Pierce francis’s friends and there one set of rules for pi francis’s friends I’d be livid honestly I I do I’d stand there

I’d go to like someone else’s I go listen I go if my mom and dad mom and dad [ __ ] off Ed you you i’ swap a bands out so embarrassing so embarrassing yeah that is tough um can I ask you some questions Johnny yeah Al Ali gray would you rather fight a

Hores siiz duck or 10 or 20 duck sized horses um so this is interesting I’ve been to Dei and back since the last um you did podcast yep you did and inevitably you end up playing with a game of would you rather and to answer that question I’d rather fight the the

Um 20 duck size hes this is one that came up when we were into B would you rather rather be on minimum wage for the rest of your life or be on a million pounds a year and have a snail that is constantly chasing you and if it touches you you

Die I’d rather have a million quid a year in the [ __ ] I’ll have what you’re smoking is what I I will you’re not supposed to start the musroom Ws yet you’re supposed to wait till you retire Johnny but whatever it’s a good one though because it was [ __ ] terrifying

A snail like I know they’re slow but it’s just where it start in relation to you right so get right snail there you there because [ __ ] by the end of night you not ever seen the snail trails in your house when the slug slugs get the

Door you do nothing about the snail s you can’t get always knows where you are and it is tracked on you yeah but hold on but where does it start in relation to you because it starts within 5 m of you you’re making this up now 5 m you

Fall asleep the [ __ ] thing your mou so then your options are you need to emigrate you need right you start here with the snail oh well that’s easy iuck to Australia good can’t get we did maths and it was the snail can move um it takes the snail who did the maths

Imagine are you playing this game with others or just myself no you got imaginary friend by the way no no no the snail takes 1.39 days to travel a mile and that meant it took over 40 years to get to Australia if it’s like a it can travel

It can travel through water we decided it travels through water at the same Pace as on land like like a wel they’re like water Nails aren’t they so it’s it can do both yeah but then the question you know what I’d do so then I said we

Go to Australia for 40 years then come back no you go for 20 years cuz then the snail’s halfway and you can come back again cuz the fucking’s got to turn around come back then you’ve got to move twice so 20 yeah you do what you want you do what

You want snail get in fact Johnny you give it a year it’s already offshore so you can come back for a month or two at a time yeah then it’s going to yeah yeah you could so actually just you have six months in the US let’s tie the [ __ ]

Thing out let’s go six mons in the US it’s a good one isn’t it let’s go 6 months to the US set off there and he gets to us halfway to us this where he’s gone he’s dead [ __ ] this is where it got like really difficult we were like can the snail

Jump on transport like can it jump it slime up at that point I said [ __ ] it if it’s on like a motorbike or a cab or a plane I’m I’m taking it could probably slug its way onto a plane we said for the sake of it it’s not allowed

It can just s so like if a snail jump are you how do we track the snail no it are we allow to you don’t but that’s ridiculous why it’s hunting you so what do you mean why it’s ridiculous we we’re quite far into the conversation to be

Asking that yeah I’m confus the snail knows where you are you you could look and be like oh the snail like it’s there how big is a snail it’s just normal size if it can get on transport I just do minimum wage it’s just too much

Stress no but CU it doesn’t you you die if it touches you yes no but we did have like a good half hour school we did have a good we did have a good half hour over the snail but I decided if it can get on

Cars and planes and trains and but then I’m just taking the minimum wage that’s what I miss more than anything was like killing time just killing pointless conversation like would you rather like the idea of being attacked by isn’t it okay what’s the best back three in World

Rugby right now pick your dream back three um who’s the best fullback in the game right now Bowden Barrett yeah I go yeah maybe listen I’d maybe go I I yeah bow and Barrett chz and Colby um I Chuck somebody like Zam on the other Wing EXC like yeah yeah

Something like Zam that’ be quite cool wouldn’t it is he quick quick yeah yeah yeah um top three things on your bucket list last question um I want to buy a holiday home um snail prooof one yeah snail proof holiday home next to a golf course uh anywhere particular country it

Just hot I think that would be nice does this would could you use like snail pellets wherever you go as in would or is it immune to that I reckon it no you can’t kill the snail well you can make it very ill or you can make it like no

It moves it moves in mysterious ways con what if you put glass travels at constant Pace slugs over if you put if you if you went to bed and you surrounded your bed in pellets yeah it gets through them can how it’s this this is it’s the way the snails made I think

You’ thought this through yeah what about you put broken glass could it would it snail over the glass yeah it snail it constantly moves it it snails can can it go through fire yeah go the snail goes through fire goes be careful bu this golf course hot did you play

Golf a little bit I like play like four rounds over the offseason then I get all right and then I stop completely but you want to buy a house next to a golf course yeah it’s just so it’s good mindfulness the golf course is great you like you like Cornwall don’t you I’ve

Been in Cornwall bumped into you before I bumped into you on P everybody quite likes and your I met your dad as well yeah yeah you didn’t say anything though petrified of him I was like the Press oh the media he thought he was wearing we were like I was on holiday he

Like gave one word aners and your dad was really chatty yeah I never switch off was he like hiding behind his dad’s leg live on SK if B comes like runs and runs up and hugs me and hides behind my leg when people talk was he like hiding

Leg on my bucket list um so Lodge on a golf course snail proof bed yeah what else what would you on a nice car not really bothered by that they hate clothes would you like a personal mass or a yoga person or something what’s on

Can we can we ask like take it in turns buet I’ve done one what’s yours it’s hard question my bucket list so I well I’ve got a few actually I would love to have six months just to go to an island and paddle around on a surfboard

I would really love that on your own I’d probably have to take my wife and children they’re a little bit like the snail like they will they will come too and I if they touch they don’t if they don’t come so I would I would love a really

Really good six month sabatical in the middle of nowhere I don’t you get bored quickly I reckon I I’m not sure I would I’m living quite a lot of my dreams but I don’t really have yeah so it’s hard isn’t it well I mean house Flat yeah

House a stable marriage um roof over my head um now I James H takes yet another swipe another another swipe um I would say where would I what would I do maybe uh I’d like to have a chef that’ be Game Changer really on the bucket that we

Just like to take care of me all the time that would be unbeliev just eat the kind of person that will actually go out and get that I reckon you might have a house instead of that if it’s like if it’s like three wishes which it

Basically is isn’t it a bucket list is like you get a lamp and you you might as well just wish for loads of money no I I figured out you can do basically what you want the last thought I figured out how to defeat the um that you know three

Wishes thing my first wish you best you you wish to be the best everything in the world no you wish for as many wishes as you want no no CU you can’t do that they always say that caveat you can’t ask Johnny you’re changing the [ __ ] rules no that’s always say Aladdin is

The is the kind of be the best at bad things as well well but only if you tried to do the bad things only if you tried to do the bad things cuz the best that’s best money you then be tempted to do bad things because

You’re good at them yeah but then you’d be like the best at dying fast so it could it could all no but I’m pretty certain that doesn’t that’s not how it work I go want the best everything in the world so I could you know or I could

Be the best anything I try there’s no that’s like you need balance in the world you need like ying and I would try to I would try to be the best footballer in the world I probably would it get very deep but then you would then

There’d be no fun in bit you see what I mean like you could curse yourself like well there a lot of well I mean Ronaldo’s having a bit of fun the Messi has a bit of fun I’ll be quite there’s probably things but also if you if

You’ve like got an understanding of like life I’m not I wouldn’t be like if I got a billion dollars I wouldn’t like lose my mind wouldn’t you I don’t want a billion dollars I do but I I wouldn’t I wouldn’t like I would you wouldn’t oh my

God he’s ding the more intelligent you are the less happy you are so like you could end up you could end up being so clever that you get answers that you don’t want and then you’re upset but I often think is the people who have the

Most often are the least happy as well you become you’re you sort of get distorted by it yeah as long as you as you need somebody to get up in the morning for and you good people around you and the rest of it’s all incidental it’s been another Magical Mystery Tour

Through the magical mind of I’m not going I’m not going to listen to this back because I don’t want I want to remember it as it was before it’s going to be heavily redacted I can’t listen I didn’t I can’t listen to too much not

Even that I just I remember what it was like the purity of it I don’t want to remember what it was going to be like should we therefore just say to the listeners and the viewers this has been about the most amazing two hours we’ve enjoyed of 2024 so far so far but

Whatever they get given is down the I’m going to give you a nod for the good rugby that’s on your teley box this weekend because the invested Champions Cup is back ITV one at one ex against GL Warriors Saturday lunchtime if you fancy that extra obviously looking to get back

To Big performances that is followed by lener against stad fron who are third in the top 14 TNT and RT at 5:30 on Sunday afternoon it’s an absolute belter Slam in the L lock the door and light the fire because you got bar rasing 92 who

Top of the top 14 that is the game of the weekend I reckon TNT Sports 1:00 on Sunday then you got defending Champions lell against Leicester at 3:15 and bordo begler who are second in the top 14 against sar’s at 5:30 Owen Farrell is off to France screams the headline if he

Isn’t already I think some quite good DJ sound Friday night the 12th ticket still available ticket still available Shadow child wankle cruy myself cassim Room Ministry sound in London oh it’s a place it’s a place yeah who you to playing this weekend Edinburgh away that Min sound are you in for that

I’m available for selection avilable for selection and then I’m DJing valter a place called free on on Monday night um uh um Summit nightclub uh and then Tuesday 360 if you’re in Valen and you’re skiing and you’re POS you want over pie come and sell if you’re not par

You’re welcome too there’s a little bit of rugby for you on ITV TNT and RTE there is some music there if you’d like to go find HK wherever he’s just mentioned uh the lockin is available as per normal via apple and Spotify Johnny is making his debut should we Chuck out

A bottle of black eye this week yeah George we said um who did you say I thought George skimmington could do yeah yeah landlord could do with a little bottle of black eye you know six nine games on the bounce lost um how you getting on down there it’s going well

You don’t it’s all right we’ll send it to him you don’t need to take it yeah I wouldn’t I would well maybe you get him me the good books um little present for the landlord responsib don’t utilize it to get away with sorrow utilize it just to

Enjoy it for its Citrus base the point of black ey though is you ride the storms and you celebrate the good times and the Sunshine so let’s send a bottle down to George gton and hopefully for turn at kingone before too long just a reminder that a bottle of black eye goes

Every week to someone who we celebrate for alternative reasons or someone who needs a pick me up uh black ey is available from Amazon selected sabes and master of Mt we’ve got some really exciting opportunities coming in the not too distant future as well it has got Botanicals from every major rugby

Playing nation and one very special ingredient and 150 from every bottle go sold goes into the blacke rugby fund which is aiming to raise a million pounds a year to help with the areas of risk research and Recovery within the game of Rugby Union we are already into

Five figures raised which is very exciting and we’re asking rugby fans swap a beer for a gin and tonic and you can do that to help the game you love that is it for this week’s show it’s never easy laying down a second album but your thoughts on this week’s show um

We’ll just have to wait and see but um I’ve had fun again have you enjoyed it no it’s been good thank you and you didn’t talk yourself out any on as a performance you done extremely well yeah and you only urinated once yeah yeah which is good half a packet of holes we

Haven’t needed the diapers or the ice cream I feel like it’s a bit of a shame it melt is there even ice cream in there is you could should never eat melted ice cream don’t refreeze it why uh it’s what grows back to it make you ill right

There are look little tip for you it’s been a hell of a show this week I we we we’ve toured a bit haven’t we yeah we’ve gone right yeah but that’s that’s please share Please Subscribe and we’ll catch you very soon we have been the good the

B the rugby in partnership with our very good friends at Continental ties thank you as always for your support we are a folding pocket production stats and facts provided by oval insights appropriate this episode was produced by Tom Edwards see you next week well done Johnny thank you well done Johnny