🤣Best Jokes Of The Day! – An old lady goes to the doctor and says,… | #jokes #comedy #loljokes
One Sunny morning a priest a doctor and an engineer were out enjoying a game of golf however their game was being held up by a particularly slow group of golfers ahead of them as the minutes ticked by their frustration grew the engineer known for his practical and straightforward thinking couldn’t hide
His annoyance any longer he exclaimed this is absurd we’ve had to wait here for 15 minutes the doctor sharing in the frustration and more accustomed to a fast-paced environment chimed in I don’t know but I’ve never seen such incompetence on the golf course the priest always looking to
Find a peaceful resolution suggested hey here comes the groundkeeper let’s go talk to him they approached the groundskeeper a man named George who was familiar with all all the regulars at the golf course hey George what’s going on with that group ahead of us they’re pretty slow aren’t they the priest asked
Hoping for some explanation George with a somber expression replied oh yes that’s the group of blind firemen they lost their sight last year when they put out a fire in the local chemical Warehouse we always let them play for free the Revelation hit the trio like a
Wave of cold water suddenly the priest moved by the story solemnly said that’s sad I think I will pray for them tonight wanting to help the doctor added good idea I’ll check with my buddy the eye doctor maybe he can do something for them the engineer ever the problem
Solver Shrugged and said why don’t they just play at night a man was facing a rather unique and cumbersome problem he had a 25 in Long manhood this was causing him difficulties in his romantic encounters leading to complaints from his Partners in a state of total frustration he
Decided to seek medical help and went to his doctor he explained his situation to the doctor expressing his desperation doctor he asked is there anything you can do for me the doctor after examining him replied with a sympathetic but professional tone medically son there is nothing I can do
However I do know a witch who may be able to help you feeling a glimmer of hope the man eagerly took the directions to The Witch’s place from the doctor when he met the witch he relay his story and his distress witch my manhood is 25
In long and I need help can anything be done to help me you’re my last hope the witch amazed by his predicament pondered for a moment and then said I think I may be able to help you she instructed him go deep into the forest there you will
Find a pond in this Pond there is a frog sitting on a log this frog possesses magic you must ask the Frog will you marry me when the frog says no you will find your problem has shrunk by 5 in filled with excitement The Man rushed into the forest and found the magical
Pond and the Frog on a log just as the witch had described he called out to the Frog will you marry me the Frog looking somewhat dejected replied no miraculously the man felt a change and discover his manhood was now 5 in shorter Overjoyed he exclaimed wow this
Is great however at 20 in it was still too long for his liking without hesitation he asked the Frog again frog will you marry me the Frog now showing signs of annoyance yelled back no once again the man felt a twitch and noticed another 5 in had disappeared laughing
With delight he said this is fantastic but upon Palm reflection he decided that 15 in was still too long with a hopeful grin he looked across the pond and shouted frog will you marry me the Frog clearly fed up with the repeated proposals shouted back across the pond
In frustration how many times do I have to tell you no no no an elderly lady visited her doctor with a rather delicate issue as she sat in the doctor’s office she explained her predicament I have this problem with frequent gas fortunately the farts Never Smell and are always silent as a matter
Of fact I farted at least 10 times as I’ve been here and I bet you didn’t even notice the doctor listened carefully to her complaint and after a moment of thought responded I see take these pills and come back next week the old lady trusting her doctor’s advice took the
Pills as instructed and returned the following week for her follow-up appointment as soon as she saw the doctor she began to express her concern doctor she said I don’t know what the heck you gave me but now my silent farts stink like rotting fish the doctor with
A slight smirk replied good now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses let’s work on your hearing a patient was in a doctor’s office and a nurse was preparing him for his examination she kindly asked him to remove his clothes and put on on a hospital gown for the doctor’s
Evaluation feeling a bit embarrassed the patient hesitated and asked the nurse in front of you the nurse aiming to reassure him responded professionally don’t worry I’ve seen plenty of naked bodies before however the patient replied not one like mine you die laughing at my naked body the nurse maintaining her professional demeanor
Assured him of course I won’t laugh I’m a professional in over 20 years I’ve never laughed at a patient encouraged by the nurse’s response the patient began to undress slowly he unbuttoned his shirt removed his pants and finally with a deep sigh pulled down his underwear what the nurse saw next caught
Her off guard in front of her stood the patient revealing the smallest male organ she had ever seen in her career it was almost identical in size to a AAA Battery both in length and width despite her best efforts to maintain her composure the nurse let out an involuntary giggle realizing that she
Had laughed she quickly composed herself and apologized to the patient I am so sorry I don’t know what came over me on my honor as a nurse I promise that it won’t happen again wanting to move past the awkward moment and address the patient medical concerns she asked now
Tell me what seems to be the problem the patient said it’s swollen a lady found herself in a bit of an urgent and embarrassing situation prompting her to call her gynecologist for an emergency appointment the receptionist sensing the urgency in her voice told her to come straight to the
Office without delay rushing to the doctor’s office filled with anxiety and a bit of embarrassment M the lady arrived and was immediately ushered into an examination room skipping the usual waiting period due to the nature of her emergency the gynecologist entered the room and in a professional and calm
Manner asked her to describe her problem the lady feeling quite shy and embarrassed about her situation hesitated to explain in detail instead she politely requested the doctor to proceed with an examination hoping he would quickly understand her predicament the doctor respecting her privacy and discomfort began the examination without further
Questions after a thorough check the doctor finally understood the nature of her emergency he looked up from his examination and said I’m sorry Miss but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy delicate and expensive surgical operation the young woman already worried about the embarrassing situation
Now became concerned about the potential cost of the procedure she sighed deeply and said I’m not sure I could afford that how much to just replace the batteries after several years of marriage a man discovered that he was having trouble fulfilling his marital duties to his wife concerned in Seeking
A solution he decided to consult his doctor at the doctor’s office he explained his problem the doctor wanting to help prescribed various medications but unfortunately none seemed to work after several attempts the doctor concluded this is all in your mind and suggested that the man see a psychiatrist for
Further evaluation the man took his doctor’s advice and began visiting a psychiatrist despite several sessions the psychiatrist was stumped and couldn’t diagnose the issue in a lasage effort to find a solution the psychiatrist referred the man to a witch doctor thinking perhaps an unconventional approach might yield
Better results the man met with the Witch Doctor Who confidently proclaimed I can cure this to demonstrate his method the witch doctor threw some mysterious powder into a flame resulting in a flash of blue smoke and a dramatic effect he then explained this is powerful healing but you can only use it
Once a year all you have to do is say 1 2 3 and it shall rise for as long as you wish the man intrigued and hopeful asked what happens when I’m done the witch doctor cautioned all you or your partner has to say is 1 2 3 4 and it will go
Down but be warned it will not work again for a full year that evening the man was eager to share this miraculous solution with his wife as they let lay in bed he remembered the witch doctor’s words he whispered 1 2 3 and to his amazement felt an immediate
Transformation however just as he was about to celebrate his Newfound ability his wife puzzled by his mumbling turned over and asked what did you say 1 2 3 4 a man decided it was time to consult his family doctor during the appointment he explained to the doctor
I just can’t seem to do all the things around the house that I used to do the doctor conducted a thorough examination checking various Health parameters to ensure there wasn’t any underlying medical issue after completing the checkup the man anxiously awaited the doctor’s diagnosis he braced himself for bad news
And said now Doc I can take it tell me in plain English what is wrong with me the doctor responded in a straightforward manner well in plain English you’re just lazy the man somewhat relieved asked the doctor okay now give me the medical term so I can tell my
Wife three friends were out having the time of their lives driving around in a flashy sports car they were enjoying the thrill of the ride the wind in their hair and the exhilaration of speed however their fun quickly turned to tragedy while attempting to show off by drifting through a busy downtown
Intersection the driver lost control the car crashed violently into a tree and tragically all three friends were killed instantly after some time they found themselves in an unusual place an orientation area just before entering Heaven an angel greeted them and posed a thought provoking question as part of their orientation process the angel
Asked when you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you what would you like to hear them say the first guy reflecting on his life and career replied thoughtfully I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time and a great family man
The second friend who had devoted his life to education and family said I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow the last guy I with a mischievous grin replied I would like to hear them say look he’s
Moving a renowned surgeon known for his exceptional skills and contributions to medicine passed away and found himself at the Gates of Heaven standing before the Pearly Gates he was greeted by the gatekeeper who was tasked with assessing the lives of those seeking entry into Paradise the gatekeeper in a solemn but
Kind voice asked the surgeon a significant question have you ever committed a sin you truly regret the surgeon reflecting on his life responded with a hint of sadness in his voice yes when I was a young candidate at the hospital of St Lucas we had a soccer match against a team from
The community hospital during the game I scored a goal which was actually offside the referee didn’t notice it and because of that goal we won the match into the tournament I’ve always regretted that moment the gatekeeper listened attentively to the surgeon’s confession after a moment of consideration he
Responded well that is a very minor sin you may enter grateful and relieved the surgeon expressed his thanks thank you very much St Peter the gatekeeper with a slight smile corrected himou welcome but I’m not St Peter he is currently ly having his lunch break I am St
Lucas a man found himself in a difficult family situation when his mother-in-law after losing her job needed a place to stay being kind-hearted he offered her a place in his home until she could get back on her feet however just a week into her stay he came home to a shocking
Scene his mother-in-law was lying unconscious on the floor in a state of panic he immediately called 911 and an ambulance quickly arrived to take her to the hospital feeling a mix of worry and responsibility the man called his wife who was away on a business trip and informed her about her mother’s
Emergency he urged her to come home as soon as possible at the hospital the man found himself nervously pacing outside the surgery room anxiously waiting for any update on his mother-in-law’s condition after what seemed like an eternity the doctor finally came out to speak with him the man approached the
Doctor hoping for some positive news however the doctor’s expression was solemn as he began to share the details first your mother-in-law had a massive stroke he said Gravely the man’s heart sank at hearing this but the doctor continued unfortunately she has lost the ability to speak and can only make
Sounds similar to a chicken’s cackle the man was stunned and saddened by this Revelation but the doctor had more to say additionally she has lost all motor control in her arms and legs she won’t be able to walk or feed herself and will need to be fed baby food three times a
Day for the rest of her life the man felt overwhelmed by the severity of the situation the doctor went on she will also be incontinent and will require diapers you’ll need to change and clean her several times a day the man was trying to process all this distressing information when he remembered something
You mentioned there was some good news the man said clinging to a sliver of hope the doctor looked at him and replied the good news is I’m just joking with you she actually passed away one Bright Morning a man woke up feeling absolutely terrible he was grappling with a pound ing headache his
Throat felt like sandpaper and his entire body achd as if he had run a marathon he lay in bed realizing that he needed medical attention but the very thought of getting up made him feel even more exhausted despite his weakness he knew he had to see a doctor with great
Effort he reached for his phone and called his friend for help understanding the urgency his friend quickly arrived and drove him to the doctor’s office office once at the doctor the weight seemed endless the man feeling increasingly worse finally got called in to see the doctor the doctor with a
Concerned look asked him numerous questions about how he was feeling and conducted a thorough examination after some deliberation the doctor concluded that the man was suffering from the flu the doctor then explained that he had a powerful shot of medicine that could wipe out all the germs causing the illness however
Unbeknownst to both the doctor and the man there were three little germs living inside the man’s body and they had overheard the conversation the first germ in a state of panic exclaimed did you hear what that doctor said he has a medicine that will kill all of us what are we going to
Do the second germ trying to remain calm suggested let’s just wait and see what else he has to say just at that moment the doctor asked the man a personal question before I give you this medicine I need to ask you an important personal question the man curious about the
Doctor’s question responded okay doc what do you want to know the doctor inquired how often do you have a bowl movement the man confidently replied that’s no problem there doc I go to the bathroom every day at 8:20 a.m. I’m regular as a clock I don’t need
Laxatives or castor oil I’ve been going to the bathroom every day for 20 years at 820 the doctor satisfied with the response warned the man that the shot would eliminate every germ in his body and proceeded to administer it meanwhile the three germs convened for another urgent meeting they were extremely
Worried about the impending shot the first germ declared screw that shot shot I’m staying I’m going to hide behind the heart the second germ feeling brave said well if you’re staying I’m staying too I’m going to hide behind the liver the third germ the wisest of them all had a
Different plan you do what you want I’m taking the 820 out of here in the morning hi there if you enjoyed the jokes don’t forget to hit like sub subscribe and drop your best joke in the comments see you next time
