The weird truth about BURNOUT.

EP 53 – Not For Wearing a Mask + What We Got Wrong About Burnout
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Jess and Caroline are workin’ 9-5…kind of. They talk all things jobs and money in this episode, from redundant ads to savings accounts to burnout to applying to jobs you think you’re not qualified for. If bros at the golf course do it, you can too.

Plus, Jess adds some of her world-famous thots to this episode: a new museum experience (!!), a complaint on couples, and how she’s not accepting new challenges, thank you very much. Looking for a happy story in the media these days? Not For Everyone has you covered.

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Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by one hater (Caroline Winkler) and one lover (Jess DeBakey), with new episodes every Thursday.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5f9AtKseF3MELhxvcYLUwD
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-for-everyone/id1658791276
And everywhere else: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/not4everyonepod

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And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, @abinewhouse.

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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!

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Contents of this Video
00:30 – Our confirmation names
2:40 – Receiving redundant ads
8:45 – Intriguing consumer habits
13:00 – All things saving and investing
19:22 – The truth about applying to jobs
25:20 – What would we do if not our current jobs?
30:55 – A new museum experience
36:25 – Jess thots: new couple annoyances and no new challenges
46:00 – Job burnout
57:30 – Should the media tell happy stories?

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𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑
All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or mental health professionals, or really professional of any kind. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

#podcast #selfhelp #comedypodcast #bestfriends

If I get this one cardigan that looks like all my other Cardigans I’m GNA be I’m GNA finally be able to be the person I always HED I could be investing doing it is probably sexy but talking about it and knowing anything about it no thank

You in any day job I ever have been looking to Coast every single job I’ve ever had I did not meet all of the quote unquote requirements on the wish list why isn’t the New York Times just like every other week putting out a front page that’s like this person’s really

Happy if I like wasn’t doing any of the above I would be solving the allergy Crisis hey welcome back we’re not for everyone I’m Jess I’m the lover that’s Caroline she’s the hater what’s good hating baby cheeks what everything’s pretty good wow that was cool haon baby cheeks ha and baby cheeks that is my Christian name name yeah it’s my government name your confirmation name

My confirmation name my confirmation name is Luke actually I took a man’s name that’s so cool of you whoa she was woke before we even had a word for it wow that’s so true I feel like I’m like I’m post woke or pre- woke or something pre- woke you’re whatever whatever

Whatever makes me better than people I guess you’re woke BC before Christ after after death whatever it is yeah after death my confirmation name was terz St Teresa I guess goes by Teresa and TZ I don’t know it’s like the same saint but I was insistent that it was TZ

And that I to be that version of it yeah you’re like I want I want to put little Sparkle in yeah oh French okay okay I don’t really know why but I assume it had something to do with that anyway what was what’s Teresa’s deal she

Was like the patron saint of I feel like it was like kids or something which is a crazy thing now that I know myself at 32 yeah it was something like a caretaker kids which I mean I guess I I am quite caretaking but um yeah something to do with that that’s nice

Nice sentiment what’s luk Luke I think he’s a patron saint of medicine maybe that tracks I don’t know I was just like I know I like that I’m I’m I like that Saint I like that yeah you like your dad your dad’s a doctor you like your

Brother his name is luk yeah I think I was just like let’s just keep it in the family you’re like I just want to be one of the men in the family yeah yeah I adore um tell me stuff tell me my my brain’s empty but yours doesn’t look

Like it is very deceiving it’s empty don’t worry it’s always empty but I can still tell you something this is something that’s like annoying but also hilarious are you in the market for that 100% okay okay recently I had to buy um a good friend of ours is pregnant and you

Know the one and I was gonna buy her a diaper backpack she needs a diaper backpack for when to baby comes um and so I was searching for like very specific item pregnancy items I’m not usually searching for and ended up on this um shop like this site website that I’d

Never been on before like the first time I’d hit this brand whatever they sell diaper baby bags whatever very specifically have like never heard or seen of this brand before found a diaper bag you know bought it ordered it checked out it’s on the way carry on to live my life and

Then I go like sit down on the couch and I turn on YouTube and the very first ad that you get is is the is this brand that like you I’m g go off I’ve never I’ve never seen it before like obviously we all know like you know all the

Accounts and cookies and whatever is linked and they know where you’re shopping but that that experience that experience is so funny to me like forget the like listening to you and watching you all over the place like I was shopping on my phone it comes up on my

Computer okay it’s not that many leaps to get there with the data but it it’s such a in a way it’s such a funny moment to me because it’s like to me that moment it it it the equivalent in person feels like I just went to the mall and

Like I bought a diaper bag and I went to the cash register and I paid for the diaper bag and I’m walking to my car and someone like runs up to me at the car and it’s like hey do you need a diaper and exactly that oh I did like 35

Seconds ago I actually just got one they’re like diaper what a diaper bag I give you a diaper bag I’m like no no no like you’re you you started out the research well like yes that was a need but you like didn’t complete your research I got the I got the diaper I

Actually you actually this is such wasted advertising dollars I just got out of the market for this thing I’m done now I actually got it they’re like a diaper you want one I have one [ __ ] I just bought it I was just inside with you I just it’s been happening so much

More I mean this has been happening for years obviously we’re all familiar with it but I feel like lately I’ve been noticing it way more maybe around the holidays there’s a lot of like you know advertising advertising dollars pushed so that people buy more things but and

It’s so funny when it’s something that you’re like yeah I know I just bought it I wonder if I wonder if part of it is like a psychological thing where they’re trying to show you they think you’re an idiot and that you don’t realize that the only only reason that’s showing up

Is because they have your data and they might catch a person who wants to see that advertise on their Instagram to confirm that they made a good purchase you know what I mean like oh look what it’s a thing that people look there’s a review this this ad came up with like

Five star ratings in a review I did a good job I don’t know only argument I can make for it you think they’re spending advertising dollars just to make people feel good about what they already bought I don’t know about that one just yeah maybe not Maybe not maybe

Not now that now that you repeat it back in that way I oh it makes me so mad and wouldn’t you think that they’d be able to close that Loop of like they can knowing that you bought it because they have I mean it’s it’s like the data is

There there’s abandoned checkout alerts and stuff you know like if you put something in your cart and then you abandon your cart you’re very likely to get an email saying you get 20% 20% off you know it’s like a little hack you can do just like abandon your cart with

Having put in your email and probably give you a discount to push you to buy it so the data is there the tracking is usually there but I don’t know you know it’s probably not incorporated into whatever is pulling all you know whatever who the [ __ ] whatever the stuff

Is uh but it is funny to me that they’re like hey we’re doing a pretty good job of knowing what you want and I’m like yeah like a pretty good job but like not a great job not not like an amazing job you actually missed a key part which is

That I very specifically no longer need this the part of of all of this that I find the freakiest and I can understand it in a way from a data perspective but like how good it’s getting is crazy to me is that there will often be something

That I haven’t typed into Google I haven’t typed in a text message I haven’t looked up I haven’t said out loud so whether you know people always say like oh my phone’s listening to me I haven’t even that [ __ ] true yo that I haven’t even typed it it just exists in

My head yeah I just had a thought of like oh I I I maybe I should look into this thing okay anyway I’m busy need to go about my day do nothing about that thought and later that night I get an ad for it and I know that they can’t read

My mind actually I don’t know that they can’t read my mind and that’s what freaks me out but um I find it interesting how good their data on like who I am what my demographics are the types of needs I might have you know like all of that converging and then the

Timing of it being so perfect it’s crazy it’s it’s absolutely crazy it makes me not want to buy the thing though I’m like oh now that you figured me out I don’t even want it [ __ ] you oh that’s funny little defiant teenager in you I

Um yeah it’s a it’s a it’s a topic that gets people fiery it doesn’t get me that fiery though because I kind of feel like I don’t know like if I if you show me something if you show me something that I and I’m like oh I do really want

That then I’m then I’m happy to have it I don’t I know I’m torn about it cuz I’m consumer I’m not as much okay so I’m not as much of a consumer I say I would say I spend too much money on clothes for sure I’m always buying new clothes

Like but that’s really that’s the main thing I’m burning money on yeah and for me it’s always I caught myself in this Moment Like This Week where I bought I bought these Cardigans I bought these I’m wearing one right now You’ already told me about these Cardigans oh my God

I bought these Cardigans and I was so excited for these Cardigans to arrive they were like kind of expensive and I realized okay I built it up in my head I’m like check checking the tracking to see where the package is and once The Cardigans ared I like open the box and

Like oh what do you know they’re just [ __ ] Cardigans and I was putting them on and I’m like okay well they like fit and they’re like a pretty color and like you’re still just a cardigan and I and I caught myself in this moment where I was

Like I really thought this was going to change my life like that and I and I actually think that’s like most of the mindset we’re in when we buy things is like if I get this one cardigan that looks like all my other Cardigans I’m G

To be I’m G to finally be able to be the person I always hoped I could be yeah I will become the type of person that wears an expensive cardigan from this store and to me that means I have my [ __ ] together I look cute all the time

No matter where even to just to the grocery store I look great like this that the other whatever your perceptions are about that the person that buys that cardigan totally oh I’m like they got me they really got me yeah my life has made remained pretty

Much the same I’m gonna say in the last couple days since I’ve been wearing these Cardigans but it it was ridiculous moment of like opening up the box and being like Oh yeah it’s just a i I guess I knew it was a cardigan but it it truly

Is just a cardigan yeah I have really um like reduced my spending on clothing I used to be exactly the same way I my biggest expense in a month other than rent and things like that was my was clothing and I have this full closet of so many clothes and I

Never wear any of them and I keep buying more and that was the pattern and I’ve met mention this but I’ve started using that rental service newly and just spending 98 bucks on clothes a month basically and I am flushed with cash like I literally am feeling rich I look

At my bank account and I’m like oh she oh she can like take herself out like she could plan a trip like it is insane I’ve also reduced um like buying coffee out and things like that and it is insane how much money I’ve been saving but that being said you always find

Something else to spend on like as soon as I started saving on clothing I was like you know what I should do redesign my whole bedroom and I just like have gone on a spree of like buying prints and buying a new headboard and doing

This and doing that so um I I still think I’m like net saving but it’s I like to spend it feels good it’s R therapy what did it say like you’re you’re um you’re expenses will expand to meet your means basically which I think applies to a lot of things I don’t know

If that’s like a saying or if that’s something my dad would just like whisper at me late at night but that’s a classic Tom Winkler but but it’s true I feel like I have lived off of for most of my adult life on my own income lived off an income where like

$198 on close a month [ __ ] no way I was pocketing toilet paper from the restaurants I worked at because it was too much to buy toilet paper like a need and um and so I’m like I don’t know at some point I was talking to like my accountant we’re talking about savings

And emergency fund and whatever and this and that she’s like well how you know how much can you actually live off of it’s like I feel like I can live off a negative amount of money I did that for so long um but then having money I will

Immediately find ways to spend it yeah you’re you’re you’re expenses will meet your means that is really accurate I was I recently got like a survey from my college um asking about because I guess it’s been 10 years since graduation so they were asking about like are you rich yet

Basically they were like what was what was your first job out of college how much did you make what was your job five years out what how much did you make what’s your job now how much do you make and I’ve not really like thought that

Much about that and put it down on paper before but seeing that expansion was just a crazy reminder of how little I can live off of and I was having a blast when I was 22 right out of college first job making making nothing um I was still

Like having a good life all things considered my basic needs were taken care of and more um and it’s crazy that like still to this day I’m spending it I somebody wrote us somebody wrote us a a hot take submission that was like I saw

This one I love this one it was like it was actually written really funny and I think I have it saved hold on um they said hot take on investing in parenthesis stocks question mark are you doing it is everyone doing it and no one was talking about it I find investing

Pretty sexy but maybe I’m lame um I thought that was funny I mean I I can give no advice in this category but I will just say that the only thing that enables me to save is like automating money into investment accounts and like it’s not my money anymore money see it

Yeah it’s gone so I don’t you know I can’t advise you on how to invest I do think it’s a smart thing to do but like can I say more than that no um but for me it’s like a savings tactic because there’s yeah I don’t know there’s like

Retirement accounts but there’s also like shorter term investing like if you want to buy a house or if you want to just save yearly for trips or whatever your goals are um yeah that’s the only way I can save money and then I literally spend the find things to spend

The rest on I think that is the only way for me to counter what I do think is a pretty Universal um uh tendency of like your expenses rising to meet your means um is that I have to trick myself into thinking my means are way less like take this

Huge piece of the pie and put it away and I don’t ever want to see it again um yeah I did get I got a financial advisor this year which I I guess I kind of felt like I don’t I don’t know I’m not a

Great person to ask about this but um I was like finally making money where that felt like I even had money to put aside as opposed to like not knowing if I was going to be able to pay my rent whatever um and so that has been helpful I think

You can probably get they usually take like a percentage of what you invest like 1% or something like that um so that’s something to look into I don’t know basically yeah in the beginning meeting um in the beginning we were to like talk about goals there were a bunch of

Meetings goals and Status Quo and cleaning up um I don’t know tax things and getting a new accountant and stuff like that but not it’s not a regular meeting now you know um but that that was kind of the solution to me because I was like I’m

Not the person who’s going to educate myself on this I want to hey someone I would rather give a little bit of money to someone to that I trust to make the decisions than me ever have to learn anything about it I refuse to learn I’m trying I’m trying to know less I’m

Trying to unburden myself of knowledge in that way maybe investing doing it is probably sexy but talking about it and knowing anything about it no thank you just that person’s message about it being sexy I was like I was like be careful don’t fall for those investing

Investment Bros it’s not it’s not going to work out nicely for you oh yeah yeah yeah don’t dat a finance bro don’t data Finance bro um but it it is a thing where I’m like all those stupid classes we had in high school like pretty much every every single one of them was

Stupid to me and like not one class on Junior taxes or like long-term finances or like I know how to how to have a marriage or like there’s just so many classes however we we all missed we read and reread and reread the sound in the fury by William fauler and wrote

Multiple essays and papers on it so that’s good like that definitely prepared me for stuff and I liked it I mean don’t get me wrong that was that was a highlight of high school for me but um yeah it’s it’s insane how like financial literacy is such a

Just a a gap for so many people and nobody talks about it like nobody talks about how much they make with each other I think that’s changing a little bit just like transpar ask people and if you don’t want to tell me you don’t have to

Tell me but I just ask I’m just tell I feel like if someone asks me I tell them you know like yeah that’s how I feel if you ask me I’ll tell you but I think everyone’s afraid to ask yeah it was one of those taboo topics like asking

Someone’s weight or asking an older person’s age or something like that like it literally is one of those things how much do you make um just tell me the only way for all of us to do better I feel like the way that I that I see most

People gaining any kind of financial literacy is that it’s in their family culture um it’s like their parents value it or talk about it or help them set goals that maybe even leads them into thinking about it and so in my family that was very very absent um and I don’t

Know I think there’s probably like more chat about it on like the dude’s golf course and [ __ ] like that I don’t know why it’s still so gendered but it it kind of feels like it is yeah um yeah so well just because of I think it probably just ties a lot

To um gender like gender norms and gender roles of you know men being the Breadwinners and yeah women not having to worry about that as much obviously that has changed but the culture of actually talking about it hasn’t caught up and that’s why there is such a

Movement yeah of like women like women tell each other how much you w make women um you know like fight for the raise fight for the promotion apply for the job even if you don’t meet all of the REITs that are can I say this right now yeah one of the most important

Things I don’t know I don’t know what the stat was I’ll make up a number doesn’t [ __ ] matter but there the statistics of like the average guy will apply to a job if he meets like 20% of the requirements and a woman like the average woman will apply only if they

Meet 100% of the requirements like just apply to the job apply to jobs you’re completely unfit for if you have the time to do it just do it I’ve done it and and sometimes you get the job worst case scenario you’re in the same position worst case scenario you don’t

Get the job or you get to talk to somebody like there’s there is no loss be applying for the jobs also those the job requirement lists that you see those are wish lists like if you’ve ever been the person leaving a position and putting and see that exactly putting

Seeing that list they put together it’s so aspirational like and it’s often so mismatched to the actual position just apply apply to jobs that you certainly should never have do it do it you’ll probably get them yeah I mean cosign 1,00% I think my parents told me that

Very early on it was the best advice that they’ve ever given me and like something that to this day every single job I’ve ever had I did not meet all of the qu quote requirements on the wish list which it really is a wish list and

Now in the position I’m in I’ve even written job descriptions and to be the person writing a job description and be like well I’m just going to write down these bullets like we kind of would like this [ __ ] we kind of would like this [ __ ] like it’s just some person

Writing a list of bullets that like would be nice um even to make their new job easier right right right well it would be great if they could actually do this piece of thing too so that I don’t have to do it anymore exactly and even

The piece that’s like I think people get really hung up on like oh they want someone with over seven years of experience and I have six stop it girl stop it right now apply for the job if you have five apply for that job like truly that is it’s all it’s all fake

Until they see your resume and they meet you and they decide you know um yeah one of the most important things to me uh or that I thought about in interviews I mean kind of all the time is that like people want to hire people they will

Enjoy working with every day for the most part like and that means someone who’s going to be competent at the work um but it also means someone that you can spend like extensive amount of time sitting next to or in meetings with and so when I was walking into a position

Where I knew like I wasn’t the most experienced I just tried really hard to be like the most enjoyable person um because that’s that’s actually not a small factor it’s probably not going to go on the job requirement wish list but at the root of it like you’re spending

More time probably with your co-workers than you are with your family with your friends with your partner and you want it to be someone you enjoy being around um that go a long way then you learn the rest you know I also think like having a high EQ emotional intelligence is like a

Underrated quality that I’m noticing more and more is emphasized in hiring and recruiting and it’s something that I’ve I’ve realized as I’ve grown through my career I constantly get the feedback from employers that like my high EQ helps me in the job in this way enables

Me to manage people in this way enables me to manage up to leadership and communicate in this way and at some point I got that feedback which is great feedback and really flattering but I got that feedback so many times that I was like oh I thought that this was just me being

Like a human but it actually sets me apart from a lot of other people who just show up and kind of like EMP emptily do the job and don’t show up for their co-workers aren’t a team player aren’t observant of the Dynamics that are happening and how to navigate them

In a Savvy and smart way like if you have those types of skills then finding a way to communicate that on your resume in an interview or just demonst it in the way you answer their questions you think through a problem like that goes a long way that’s so much more impressive

Than somebody that’s like yep I’ve done all of these things before you know yeah soft skills like for me um one of the soft skills that I tried to emphasize a lot was being able what was like communication and actually being able to like dumb

Down um you know when I was in like the tech world to be able to kind of be a goet between a product owner or a project manager and the developers a lot of times the developers like could not relay the technical things like couldn’t see the forest through the trees so

Being the person who could like Bridge conversations that way um when I wasn’t the strongest coder I wasn’t some like genius hacker um but that was like something I could add to the development skills and understanding I did have um yeah SC soft skills go long way I can

Talk on those six different words not going to use them in all different voices so many ways wow wow w wow w we whoa I really like talking about that stuff but it feels so boring you know what I mean like like the energy when talking about career advice is so like

Serious but I really like talking about it because I feel like there a lot to say I feel like people ask those types of questions and need that type of guidance because you’re right like if you’re not getting it from parents or or just like the culture in your family or

Me mentors maybe you haven’t found you know great bosses who turn into mentors for you or whatever it is like maybe your friends are in different lines of work so their opinion isn’t as relevant I don’t know I like talking about that stuff but I do too I don’t find it

Boring hot it’s hot it’s hot we’re boss babes what else you got though um or do you want me to got something let me see what I oh I have something yeah give it toy well kind of adjacent to the career topic I think about this a lot and I’ve

Arrived at an answer that I feel really confident in and the question is what would you do if you weren’t doing this like weren’t doing what you do now and so what I do now is this podcast and I work in marketing at a digital Health company

If I didn’t do I mean ideally I’m just doing the podcast obviously we all know that okay but if I like wasn’t doing any of the above I would be solving the allergy crisis and I’m so [ __ ] serious about that I have had allergies I’m gonna go off I’ve had

Allies my whole life I hope there’s someone out there who like I have struggled with allergies my whole life there’s literally nothing they can do for you other than give you medication there’s no cure there’s nothing that can take it away it’s just like take this pill every day or get

These shots injected like on a regular basis or whatever it is there’s no cure it makes every day hell it makes when I get sick when I get a cold it’s 10 times worse because my I already have like [ __ ] stuff backed up in my nose from

Years of allergies like it’s only worse if I get sick um I’ve literally asked my doctor before to remove my sinuses and he was like yeah that’s not a possible thing I would commit my life I would do it while doing the podcast maybe this just replaces my day job like

I would like to cure the allergy crisis the crisis what’s the crisis is like is it is it particularly acute right now or has it just been like at a steady pace for a long time no it’s been steady it’s an unspoken pandemic the people know

People no I am not the only person keeping zertek in business every I have allergies Zer 247 every single day of the year 365 365 3 365 crisis Solutions is just good Baking Company do you have allergies like help me out I do have allergies I um spring allergies and

They’ll they’re bad for a couple weeks a year um yeah I have every season allergies I have allergies no matter where I am I’ll find something like my it’s terrible anyway what would you if you weren’t doing [Laughter] this I also liked how you phrased it how

You weren’t like I’m gonna be doing research towards finding a cure for like I’m solving it I’m solving it I’ll be solving it when people ask what you do I’m a solver I’m a solver I’m 100% confident in my ability to solve almost any problem if I what kind of timeline

On what kind of I’ll bring on the right people on my team to do it um I don’t want to be working past like 55 so by then by then okay yeah that was arbitrary but that would be sick kind of kind of a waste of your

Energy to be putting it towards this podcast when you could be doing that for everybody I can be improving my whole life and everybody’s life but do you have an answer to that question would and you can’t say like coding like going back to that you know something something completely separate

Yeah no I’ll be dead in a ditch before I’m coding again um I this isn’t H I have to finesse it but I don’t know I kind of considered this at a certain point um I was so focused on acting but I thought about something related to child psychology I don’t want to

Actually I wouldn’t want to be a CH a child psychologist um or anything because I think that seems honestly too heavy and too much forever but there’s like all I don’t know maybe some like alternative thing or I don’t know I don’t like it would I solve it yeah no

More psychology for children let’s get rid of it it’s an issue they’re all fine now they’re all good I fixed them yeah I think I’d probably be solving it I would just kiss one kid at a time until they were all happy don’t report this podcast based on that sentence thank you

Everyone it reminds me good kiss it reminds me of Michael Scott’s screen name which is like little kid lover 69 or something was 69 the year he was born in or something probably but you know doesn’t help doesn’t help it doesn’t help yeah yeah yeah that’s yeah um yeah

That would be the name of my clinic it’d be Caroline loves your children she loves them kisses Galore kisses Gore this is Galore Infinity that’s probably what I would be doing but it would be a for-profit oh please of course let me just we’ve talked about this before but

I’m gonna say it again what are you gonna say about charity yeah let’s drag charity right now do it nonprofits are making a profit can I just say it goes back what does it go back to like like pay salaries or what yeah it pays the employees and whatever

But they’re making some of them I mean not the not the ground level workers and things like that they’re making modest salaries but the CEOs are making money of nonprofits like have I talked before about how much I don’t trust St Jew’s Children’s Hospitals yes yes that’s the

Time that we talked about this yeah you correct carry on I’m correct I’m [ __ ] correct you’re correct you’re correct um no that was it oh that reminds me okay I’m all over the place bity bop bity bop keep bopping so we’ve talked about how we both don’t really like museums and

We’ve been dragged for that and I would like to bring it back up because I would like to be dragged again I would like I would like it very much um gimme rugburn I went to Atlanta this past weekend with my best friend Kai we’ve never been

There before it was kind of a random week weekend trip we decided to do and it is the home of the Coca-Cola headquarters and they have an experience I would call it an experience it’s a museum it’s a museum it’s a museum about the history of Coca-Cola

Ca-a I went to the Coca-Cola museum alone Kai didn’t want to do it I was like no problem this is still something that’s a priority for me I will [Laughter] go it’s my favorite music Museum I like museums now oh wait I just peed I think

A little bit stop it I made you laugh that hard yeah or are you like good I don’t know should I just sit in it or should change no I think what do you tell me what you need I I want to leave this in I have to go find out what

Happened hold on hold on don’t okay okay [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh I just spilled so much water oh you spilled water okay we we can leave this in because she actually just spilled water I’m going to stay on here this is for the YouTube audience what should I tell you guys

About the only problem with the Coca-Cola experience was that it wasn’t a Diet Coke experience solely you know um but I did drink a lot of Diet Coke while I was on site I would say it’s crisper than the average Diet Coke really good stuff they have going on there a lot of

Innovation there’s lots of new flavors you can try there what else do you want to know about the Coca-Cola experience okay I’m back thank God this will be rude I think oh hell what we have to say about it yeah okay so somebody sent in a hot tape

I can actually say I already feel mad and I don’t even know what it is I can tell Oh I thought you were going to make fun of how I said hot cuz I kind of that was that was nice of you is this going to make me mad um maybe yeah you

Might be mad at the people they’re describing here okay hot take on people who share ongoing emotional turmoil through their Instagram stories redundantly it reminds me of the days when we were all active on Facebook yeah like High School Facebook yeah and and the way that you wrote your status on

Facebook was Jessica is or Caroline is the is was always there and you would have to like fill in the blank and people would just be like so stressed right now or like or something cryptic but like not that cryptic like boys will just break your heart like okay like wondering why

Everyone sucks like realizing you can’t trust any of your friends yeah but people kind of bring that energy on social media still I [ __ ] yeah I hate it obviously I hate it I mean it makes me like I feel bad in a way if I tap into the side of myself

That would have compassion for this person I’m like okay they probably are lonely and don’t have anywhere else to put these feelings but I feel like H it’s just so attention seeking too I don’t know it’s like I can’t trust your motives if you’re doing [ __ ] like this

The most I want to see is put a moody song on your Instagram story then I’ll know that you’re in a weird space and like I’ll have but it’ll leave something to be desired don’t just be rambling about your personal life or writing messages is there an offender you can

Think of I’ve definitely seen it I can’t even think of I think I mostly unfollow these people yeah I at least would mute the stories I can’t think of an end or even when somebody’s like and you guys know what’s been going on with me I’m like how can you ever think anyone’s

Ever following what’s going on with you basically like I I have an entire Channel about my life and I assume nobody is paying attention because they’re not like people are busy we’re not just thinking about like an Instagram story you posted three weeks ago right I know I assume no that

Everyone just clicks through my stories really fast I just make them because I think they’re funny more than anything yeah I assume that comes through that comes I assume that the podcast is just like background noise to someone if they’re listening at all like I literally assume

That no one’s no one’s keeping up um so it is a weird it is a weird thing and then the thing and I’m guilty of this of course but the thing where people are like a lot of you have been asking I know I was just about to say that yeah a

Lot of you have been wondering doing with the situation with myab dadd asked nobody asked a lot of you guys have asked for this link nobody asked for that link although sometimes people actually do ask for that link and then feel weird about and then I’m like I

Can’t I can’t say that somebody asked for it because it doesn’t sound true but um that makes me laugh nobody asked for the link I usually will be like two people ask for this link because it is usually two people and I’ll just own totally you know

Yeah we’re both having a cough Fest right now I I mean [ __ ] allergies I told you allergies okay I had a funny thought the other day these are all quick things this is the problem but let’s just try it okay I could drag it out

Um okay so I think I was maybe watching The Bachelor or something like that and I something clicked in my head where I noticed that people will often say not just on The Bachelor like in life too they’ll say like yeah we a new couple they’ll be like yeah we

Um we do want to have kids later on but we really want to spend time together before then like traveling and the only thing they ever say is traveling yeah like I understand wanting to have like a chunk of time with your partner before you introduce

Kids into the picture and all that I think that’s great and whatever but it’s just so funny to me that the thing that literally every couple says is like you know we want to travel and I just want to be like you’ve been traveling ho like I haven’t seen one

Picture of you traveling but that’s just your little line that like yeah that is that everyone says I think it’s so funny why why do we need a reason to want to have kids you know later yeah cuz we got to travel and why is it travel and are

And is anyone actually doing it I guess some some of them are some of them do you know who traveling is people who have little kids they’re like oh we got these kids and we still want to travel I don’t know it’s just funny to me that’s

Such a trend and something people say yeah a new couple that is funny I love that I love AJ thought I don’t have any additions because it was perfect I told you that it would be a short one give me another one these are the things I have

Okay I probably have another one oh I do have another one okay these are more just thoughts that I wrote down that are decent but don’t spur conversation this one might so I would was reflecting the other day on like when I was 24 and I would say

Things maybe with regard to work or just life in general I’d be like I really want a new challenge like I feel like there’s I need to make a change like I want a new challenge and I was reflecting on being that type of person and how like I’ll never say something

Like that again you know what I mean I REM in interviews you say that type of thing like yeah the reason I’m looking for new jobs is cuz I really want a new challenge and it’s like kind of [ __ ] but I also feel like I’m such a self-improvement and like personal

Growth obsessed person that I genuinely meant that a lot of the times and now I think a combination of just being tired and also feeling like I’ve arrived in a place where I’m really happy with everything that’s on my plate and like I just want to dig into that I don’t want

A new challenge at all and I don’t see myself ever saying that again and I can’t remember the girl that used to say that and mean it but she existed you know you know what I’m you know what I’m going to say what I’m G to say she’s

Still here [ __ ] but she’s just the the new challenge you seek is not in your day job I mean I feel like you know you have a podcast project now and as soon as that stabilizes and feels like this is my prediction I think as soon as the the podcast feels like we

Got it on lock it’s taken off we have our system blah blah blah I think you’re going to be like Caroline I want a new challenge oh my God I predict you’ll be the first person I say it to if I get that’s how I am that’s how I am for sure

I’ve certainly never never meant it I don’t even think I would go as far to say that in a job interview I certainly never meant it I literally all the time I was like how what is like a s how could I rephrase I’m looking to Coast I’m

Looking to Coast yeah in any day job I ever have I’m looking to Coast I’m looking to do as little as possible and G get paid as much as possible I would like to Makey you have a position that suits that yeah I would like to make

Money I I guess I like um I am really attracted to this position because I like being able to buy my own food how about that is that allowed but um but definitely need the challenge elsewhere I think at one point that was YouTube and then there was a period

Where I was getting maybe like a year or so ago year and a half ago where I was getting like really overwhelmed with like YouTube had like taken off in this way and it w was a big new challenge and there were so many new aspects to it and

I really just craved stability and coasting and a period of calm and a period of just like being in the flow um uh having a routine nothing new and then I finally hit that and I enjoyed that for like a week and a half like maybe

Nine days and then I was like I need a new challenge yeah um that’s definitely I thought it was going to last me for like months and it was like eight days I guess part of me is like it’s not that I won’t take on new challenges it’s just that I don’t know

If I’m at least right now I think you’re right like okay whatever that girl’s still here but um I feel like I’m not looking to invite those challenges because come anywhere anyway you know I mean like I don’t need to say I need a new challenge for there to be a new

Challenge next week like there’s gonna be one um and it’s one I’m happy to tackle at least if it has to do with the podcast and so yeah I I guess that’s part of it too it’s just like yeah the challenges come whether you want them or

Not so enjoy the moments of coasting maybe as part of the takeaway I also think I didn’t arrive at a point in my like corporate career where I was comfortable with coasting and like would gladly tell anyone right now that that’s what my goal is in my day job yeah now

You would now I would but that’s new as of like the last two years you earned that first of all you like earned yourself into a position where you can kind of say that it’s hard to walk in as a new higher entry level position be

Like I’m here to Coast that’s true but it was my goal when I walked into this job and it doesn’t mean I don’t ever work hard I’ve been working late this whole week but it still doesn’t also like why is working hard a [ __ ] virtue I I I com I think it’s like

Important to commit yourself to certain things if they’re the things you want I don’t think working hard just as like a is like a static forever virtue everywhere cutting Corners is my [ __ ] virtue no why do I have to work hard says [ __ ] who I’m tired I like napping no 100% 100%

Um oh I had a thought and I lost it what was it oh sorry okay so now you walk in and say you want to Coast yeah I don’t know I was having a conversation a friend of mine from an old job um just reached out to me and

Was like hey I’d love to catch up and just pick your brain about like the year off that you took and kind of what you’re doing now and how you pivoted from Consulting into this job and whatever and so I talked to her I think

It was yesterday and it was such a nice moment of reflection of like how much my vision of what I wanted from my year off really paid off like now that I’m two years later um like I really got what I was after I guess in terms

Of having things outside of work that fulfill me having my work that provides a sense of stability but I can like kind of coast and clock out at the end of the day oh and this is what it was and then I was also talking to her about the fact

That like I was so burnt out when I took my year off like when I decided to do it I was burnt out from like 10 years of working but also before that 15 years of schooling and whatever else and um it’s interesting because I feel like

I’m working more now like hours in the day spent on work may be higher than it almost ever has been because I’m doing my day job I’m doing the podcast I’m doing some freelance work like I’m actually spending a lot of time each day working but I don’t feel burnt out

Because it’s like stuff that I want to be doing and I have the right level of investment in each thing like personal investment and I guess I’m just sharing that to say that like there’s such a misconception about burnout that it has to do with hard work like you were

Talking about like hard work long hours people burn out and I actually don’t think it has as much to do with that as it has to do with working on things that just like aren’t giving you what you need um whatever that is and yeah I I’m

I’ve been in a in a zone of gratitude recently like we hit a year on the podcast and we’re making some big moves in the background and um I’m doing well at my job and it’s kind of like working well for the balance is working pretty decently for

Me and I’ve been really reflecting on like how far I’ve come I guess and how much this is what I wanted and now I’m here and yeah I’m just having one of those times it’s nice that’s beautiful you’ve earned it you’ve made hard decisions and uncomfortable and risky

Decisions um that sacrificed security at times um and certainty at times in order to yeah earn your way to something more fulfilling I think it’s really hard and there’s a reason most people are really afraid to do it um if it was easier if it was obviously easier everyone would

Do it yeah but it takes some leaps I think for me burnout has historically been correlated a lot to um how much I’m wearing a mask um and that could be like in my job where in my tech job I liked the people the work wasn’t

Terrible um but it was this place where I felt like I was able to bring none of myself um I didn’t feel like there was a place for my humor my skills my talents my interests like not not just talking about personality but also personality and all these other things like the

Things I was actually good at there was just like no room for me there and to put this mask on so many hours of the day I every night it’s what I dreaded and every morning the first thing in the morning was dread that you know got to

That point and I actually I have hit that point before with YouTube kind of recently a couple months ago um I think I talked a bit about how much I was hating being on camera and I’m like coming out of it a little bit but I realized that it I had

Slowly like gradually found myself in a place again where I didn’t feel like I could be myself on camera not that being yourself all the time is a right or even doable but I think you have to have enough of like receiving fulfillment receiving energy being able to show up

As yourself to some degree you know it’s a job we have to work jobs and you don’t get to be your whole self there basically but it was um what I think when the scales tip too much on YouTube I felt like at a certain point I got

Into this um period of a couple months where I I felt like there was a certain kind of energy people wanted from me and if I wasn’t feeling that energy and I have to deliver it anyway then you’re acting then I’m acting which is actually a career I quit already and

Not showing up as yourself so I think once I realized that the reason I’m like tolerating being on camera again because I was going to burn out again I was dreading it I was dreading filming dreading hours of performance um I just allowed myself to show up and make

Videos where I wasn’t trying to be funny and I wasn’t trying to entertain anyone I was talking about depressing stuff and like sometimes like crying and whatever you know there’s a line with being too indulgent and actually just like being honest and that has made it better um

But I think it applies to pretty much any job I’ve had like how much are you wearing a mask um because it’s really that’s like the biggest drain to me energy drain yeah that’s a really good way of putting it I have noticed and loved it in your videos recently I think

Maybe two videos ago I really liked your choice to talk about kind of a more um heavy and insightful topic of like making friends when you’re an adult and you filmed it while you were running errands like from the car and walking through Dupont and DC and um I loved

That cuz it was like you were like I got to get [ __ ] done today like come with me but I’m also going to talk about this big topic and then your most recent video that I think I just watched yesterday of when you talked about um

Kind of like people wanting you to do holiday decor inspo and that not really being your thing and not really feeling true to you right now so you’re like this is my holiday Vibe like I’m on the floor doing some crafts and the fire is crackling and I got black candlesticks

And like that’s as much as I’m going to give you but it’s me I feel like it resonates so much more like it it’s felt on the on the audience’s side so for what that’s worth I and I’m probably biased just because I love you so much but um I I’ve

Really enjoyed that but I think what you’re saying about wearing a mask is very well put like to some degree that is the thing that’s pushed me to burnout in the past two feeling like I can’t not even show up as myself I I think I tend to be a person that like

Shows up pretty consistently as myself in most places um just in terms of like how I carry myself and my ability to feel secure in who I am and I don’t know I that’s not really been something that’s rattled for me in different jobs um and I’ve been lucky to have really

Good co-workers and people I’ve become friends with too where I feel like I can be myself here but it’s more like the actual job didn’t utilize yeah my unique capabilities and my unique personality and my unique talents and like you me so like I’m being myself in

How I act with other people here but what we’re working on is not like using all this stuff I know I have inside me yeah that was the feeling that I would run into so often and I was thinking about it um and actually talking to my

Dad about it recently just again like in this moment of gratitude and and reflecting on the podcast and how far I’ve come and I was like I used to like call my dad and sometimes it would be when I was home and I would like go downstairs to the couch where he was

Watching TV like mid panic attack about my life’s Direction and my career fulfillment and I would just be like in tears shaking feeling like I’m not doing something that’s like that’s me and it it happened like a couple times a year and my dad was like a big figure of like

One of the main people I would go to during that time during those moments and I haven’t had a moment like that I’ve been stressed I’ve been tired I’ve been spread too thin I’ve been anxious I’ve been upset like doesn’t mean it’s all been rainbows and butterflies but I

Haven’t had like the bottom of like I’m having a panic attack because I’m not not doing something that fulfills me in 2 years and um that is like the main thing that drove me to quit my job when I did was like realizing this pattern of

This is the wall I keep hitting and it is not sustainable and everything that I’ve decided to change as a result of that realization has kind of worked for now you know um and so yeah it was definitely this thing of like I’m not bringing the things I know I have to

Offer to my job my dad was really sweet about it he was like I’m really proud of you not just because I know you’ve worked hard and you know spent a lot of time and energy and all that but because I know like the heartache and the

Anxiety that has gone into this and I was like it made me feel very seen that he put it in those words um yeah yeah I yeah I really feel for anybody who’s like in that pattern and like wanting to get out of it I really almost feel like

It’s a a right of passage not that not to say like don’t complain but to say like don’t panic if you’re in it because I think it’s you have to you have to like end up in the wrong spots a few times to figure out what you want to

Adjust to me it feels like being able to pick your lifelong partner with the first person you pick it’s like well it happens sometimes but like probably not probably you’re going end up in a couple spots beforehand where you’re like oh this really doesn’t work for me so if

You are feeling that um I agree with what you’re describing as like yeah to me to me it’s not emphasis on just how you show up with your personality because I don’t think that’s a luxury most people get to have in their jobs even even on YouTube being me I don’t

Get to show up with all of me there um let alone in like you know day jobs that more practical jobs that people have for me it was what you mentioned about like not being able to use your actual skills that that’s part of you what are you

Interested in what energizes you to some degree what are you good at some where where what can make you feel valuable like to feel like you actually have some value to offer is a big deal and then to me the mask of having of the [ __ ] act of pretending like I

Cared about the thing I was working on yeah there are a lot of other jobs I could have that are not content creation that are not this self-indulgent whatever like I said something with like working with children or whatever there’s a bunch of different jobs where

You can like care a little bit more than this terrible thing you’re in now to me sorry building websites I was like I don’t give a [ __ ] this doesn’t [ __ ] matter to me that was a personal mismatch but um I think the mask of acting like I gave a

[ __ ] it you know what’s funny is that and you said this yourself um like a few weeks ago ago when we were creating our merch site and I have no experience with that I just kind of went with like the template web design that Shopify gives

You and you were like I this is actually exactly the coding work that I used to do front-end development like can I take a stab at re vamping this a little bit and just doing some little tricks to make it a little cuter I was like of

Course and it was so well you did a great job but then it wasn’t even that it was just that you came back and were like it’s so funny I used to hate doing this but doing it for our thing was like so much better um cuz now those are

Skills that you have like they’re a part of you maybe that wasn’t maybe it wasn’t a part of you before you know that you had these coding talents but you do now at least enough for our purposes and when it goes to something that’s like an extension of yourself yeah it makes it

Feel it’s a totally different experience even though you’re doing the same thing you know you’re tying in the same things what is it going towards it’s why people will it’s why when you’re spending you know working till 2 a.m. on your project your baby it’s so different than working

When I work till 2 am on the [ __ ] NBC online store like for someone else’s dollar um I I don’t think it has to be about owning your own business but like where is the value is the you can get a lot of value from just like the way you

Support your co-workers from the way your skills are valued at a company from there there’s a bunch of different to do it from the way you’re able to provide for your family like having a job just because you know your motivation is to be able to provide for your family or

Provide for your community is a huge huge and valid like motivator way to find fulfillment um and it it can be it can look different for everybody there’s not a right way but yeah jobs why do we have to have them money’s fake I say it a lot I’m

Going to say it again true I mean it’s it’s like not fake because we all need it in this current like Realm that we’re in but somebody invented it one day and I hate that person I hate that person everything’s man-made yo remember when we used to

Just like give each other goats and stuff oh my I do remember you gave me that great goat that one time yeah like in the 90s where it would just be like oh you got I don’t have enough corn so you give me a goat and I’d be like oh

I’ll owe her two goats from last year and then you know then i’ give you exra corn or something like that was I liked that system more I really liked it I really liked it I would like to give a shout out to a publication oh known as People magazine of course of

Course I was in the lobby of my therapist office the other day and they you know they a bunch of magazines um laid out for you to like stare at but not open while you’re thinking about everything that’s going wrong in your life and there was one it was a People

Magazine that was laying out on the table and this was the this was the like feature article on the front the title it just said Jimmy Buffett his wild joyful life and I guess I didn’t read it but I guess it was a just a feature about

Jimmy Buffett and how happy he is and I was like wait did he die no I well I oh [ __ ] I don’t know wait [ __ ] Google no I don’t know I that’s Buffett I I hope he didn’t oh looks like he died Rec so so now yes okay okay we

Love Jimmy Buffett okay so now that article makes much a lot more sense and it kind of changes what I was gonna say but I thought they were just putting out an article okay I’m sorry rip Jimmy Buffett but I thought they were just putting out an article first of all

Still a great article just being like I was like why isn’t there more like news headlines like Front Page News why isn’t the New York Times just like every other week putting out a front page that’s like this person’s really happy and like and then like the next week it could be

About a tragedy or a crisis or an international issue and like but there there’s like both are happening both things are happening and I’m not saying we need to never hear about the negative stuff like but both are happening and I [ __ ] understand why the fear-mongering is always going to take

Over the headlines but like I think it could be okay if sometimes [ __ ] Washington Post was just like we saw happy guy and this is what he said do why why aren’t there more articles like that I know you’re right like [ __ ] just like send things that we like right

Now that’s a okay I guess I just you just want Buzz I just I just want just like one one [ __ ] main feature about someone who’s happy the problem is that even the Jimmy Buffett article now that we know it’s because he died it’s talk about Joy well this is the thing

This is why funerals are so silly you know why we wait to say all the good things about somebody once they’re dead they’re not even there yeah yeah totally it’s like weddings and funerals are the two times you get to hear people toast to you I you should check out that he

Was dead you should check out BuzzFeed you should check out no no I don’t like Buzz bait I don’t like BuzzFeed I don’t like the onion I don’t want this [ __ ] I don’t want jokes I don’t want silly jokes and I don’t want someone selling me products I just want a full feature

Investigative piece of Journalism about how one person had a good day that’s what I want delightful I’ve never I mean this is like a really it’s an Innovative new idea that I’ve never heard of I mean if it could be done well that’s what like plenty of books and movies and [ __ ] are

About just like a beautiful story just tell me a beautiful story why do it always have to be an ugly story just tell me one beautiful story that’s why I’m such a sucker I’m such a sucker for those Instagram accounts that are like um just walking up to a person on the

Street and being like are you happy and sometimes they say no and then it gets emotional but it’s kind of like a nice connection moment for humans and a lot of times they say yes because in the grand scheme of things even though things are stressful like yes these

People are generally happy and they say a little bit about like how life is good and they’re grateful and it’s kind of like oh like the old person said they’re happy the old person I love those types of things I mean okay but I I think People

Magazine to have it in written in a written publication is different because I’m also tired of scrolling like you could see that on your Instagram reals feed and then the next thing is some like miserable thing that returns you right back to square one you know like

You’re scrolling so fast it’s like even if there’s a happy thing it gets lost in the sad things but feature articles that’s that’s a lost art I want it to be about something that’s not even news it does change it that he died you know I wanted to be about just like

There has been sustained ongoing goodness in this one corner of the earth um just as much as there’s been like you know a terrible terrible crisis on this other corner and we’re going to cover both of them because I think both are important like all the things that we

Know about every corner of the Earth every tragedy that’s happening everywhere like their brain was not built to know that it’s not built to know that you can’t like yeah no we’re we’re bombarded with information every day a lot of it being negative a lot of it is stuff that we

Shouldn’t in a previous life we wouldn’t have even known we wouldn’t have even had access to the fact that that was happening yeah I know um it reminds me of too during the pandemic I don’t think he does it anymore but during the pandemic um John krinski from the office

Had this started this like web show yeah called it was like some good news or something yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and and then he immediately sold it for a bunch of money so that’s how that that’s how that punch line ends yeah wow of course I know money’s fake

Yeah some good news John krinski why is he kind of annoying to me he’s kind of annoying to me I think he thinks he’s really I think he thinks he’s real cute I agree anybody who says that Jim is their favorite from the office is the most boring person I’ve ever met like

Jim is not your favorite Jim is cute he’s cute but he’s not your faor joh krinski but John krinski is not Jim well agree with that agree with that but also Jim he’s cute but he’s not it’s not like I think I think it’s too much Hoopa Creed it’s Creed

It’s it’s Creed the best person is Creed the best person is Creed wow and that’s why we’re in love because that’s correct this has been not for everyone you’ve been listening and that’s your fault you can find us on Instagram and not for everyone pod with

The number four just because JZ de bakey I’m on YouTube is Caroline Winkler um we’re going to be off next week and that is sad but we’re going to come back stronger and more annoying than ever so that is good you’re right about that you’re absolutely that’s my plan for

Sure and I like to I like to complete my plans so yeah um I know how hard it is for your favorite podcast to go away for a week Nikki Glazer’s podcast is taking a break this week and I feel terribly upset so I do commiserate however we’re

Still going to do it follow us on Instagram check out our merch store there will be fun things to keep you busy until merch store we’re back yeah okay yeah love y’all Kisses