All right guys are you ready to go to the movies oh yeah dude but we should bring our own candy it’s very expensive at the movie theaters already got you covered you think don’t notice all the candy I’m trying to sneak in no you can’t even notice the candy they’re not
Going to notice all right good wait we’re going to the movies yeah well but there’s a pandemic going on we might get sick how well you know there’s a whole bunch of people crowded together in one room well if you don’t want to go to the
Movies Cody you don’t have to go okay well I guess I’m not going then suit yourself dude it’s more popcorn for us yeah more candy for us all right guys let’s go to the movies oh yeah dud I can’t believe they found the snacks Jeffy I know I can’t believe they
Noticed them I thought I hit them pretty good you did hide them pretty good I couldn’t even see them and then they strip searched me and found the Snicker I hit up my butt and then they made us pay for this $50 popcorn man that’s expensive Roy ladies ladies there’s
Enough Roy to go around Joseph Joseph remain calm but look who’s sitting next to me Roy get hard oh my God not Roy get hard he get hard I need an autograph dude I’ll ask him I’ll ask him okay hey Mr Roy can we get your autograph no go
Away losers Roy who are these kids I I don’t know babe just ignore we want you to spit in our mouth and also sign his face please no shut up you’re blowing it let’s get out of here ladies ladies come back look what you losers did you made
Me lose my babes I’m so sorry Roy I’m so so sorry it’s just you’re so cool and we wish we could be you yeah I know everybody does look Roy Ro is there any way you could like sign us or sign our faces and spit on us no no you losers
Are lame just get out of here please pleas pleas like Roy you’re just so cool and we all idolize you and is there any way you could teach us to be cool like you and get the Babe like you you could never hope to be as cool as Roy I I know
But but if you could teach us maybe you could teach us to be 1% as cool as you now why would Roy ever do that um we could pay you uh Joseph how much money do you have I don’t have any money I only have popcorn oh we could pay you in
Popcorn I don’t accept popcorn as payment I only accept free trips to the Super Bowl and nothing less well what if we uh what if we pay you $300 I guess I could do that all right I’ll be at your house in an hour but then I got to leave 20 minutes after
That cuz I have another date okay okay thank you so much Roy I’ll kiss your feet get away from me Roy did you hear that Roy’s going to teach us how to be cool where are you going to get $300 from dude U I’m going to steal from my
Dad’s wallet okay okay Roy’s going to teach that to be cool hey Jeffy do you want to be cool like Roy sure let’s go be cool like Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy okay guys I’m done with the Roy Shrine do you think he’s going to like it oh
Yeah dude Roy will love this only the best for Roy yes only the best for Roy oh guys Roy’s coming assume the positions hey guys what’s up all Hil Roy we’re not worthy it’s a pretty nice setup you guys got here give me an r r
Give me an o o give me a y y because Roy’s cool Roy’s Cool Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Ro I like it that’s cute all right Roy here’s your money and there your candy bars and anything else you need no I think that about covers it but
The first thing you guys got to know is that being this cool is not easy it must not be easy Roy no no you got to get free stuff and ladies want you all the time it’s exhausting sounds like a hard life yeah it is but I’m going to teach
Teach you okay now we’re going to start with the simplest thing your names our names what what’s wrong with our names I hate them they suck you hate our names yeah like what’s your name my name’s Junior it says it on my bib yeah see I
Hate that like that J I hate that J let’s get rid of the J but I like that R though okay let’s put an o and a y after that r that would be Roy yeah yeah it’s Roy you’re Roy now what my name’s Roy Joseph dude you’re so lucky yeah my
Name’s Roy yeah yeah and what’s your name uh my name’s Joseph Joseph yes yeah I hate that too that’s terrible yeah but but I like that o in there okay so let’s take the J let’s get rid of that let’s get rid of the Seth and just keep that o
Let’s put an r in front of that and a y after it okay wait that’s Roy yeah it’s Roy you’re Roy too I’m Roy too oh we’re both Roy man that’s awesome yeah what’s your name back there Jeffy yeah yeah see I don’t I don’t like the Jeff part but
That Y is pretty cool okay so let’s drop the Jeff keep the Y put an r in the O in front of the Y oh it’s Roy yeah Roy yeah you’re all Roy now we’re ro we’re ro we’re oh my God we have cool names yeah yeah there’s only two genders Roy and
Girls oh we’re Roy we’re Roy oh my God we’re so cool I I can feel myself getting cooler right oh call me Roy oh Roy hey hey Roy hey Roy hey he hey what’s up Roy I’m Roy oh you’re Roy tooy hey Roy over there watch out
Roy yeah yeah yeah you’re you’re all my Roy’s all right but first we got to change your clothes okay cuz I hate your clothes oh you don’t like our clothes no they’re disgusting they make me want to throw up so uh do you have like any
Striped white black and red shirts um I don’t think so no that’s okay we’re going to figure out something that makes you look as cool as Roy all right okay I want to be just like you Roy all right we’re going to do a Montage where you
Guys put on outfits and I shake my head whenever I don’t like them they like your cool new Roy outfits I feel so cool I can feel the coolness all over my body yeah I’m really cool now okay I think you guys are finally ready to learn
Roy’s rules what are Roy’s rules Roy’s rules are the rules you have to live by to be as cool as Roy I want to learn Roy’s rules I want to learn okay so the first rule you probably already know never pay for anything anything anything
Ever wait wait wait how do I get stuff then people will just buy stuff for you cuz you’re Roy that’s so awesome yeah people will buy you like Super Bowl tickets and nice restaurants and stuff like that just cuz you’re Roy that’s the coolest thing ever hey give me 20 bucks
Sure thing Roy here’s 20 bucks what are you doing giving you money cuz you asked for it why are you giving anyone anything you’re Roy you get things you don’t give things you’re right I’m Roy people should be giving me money yeah exactly okay now rule number two is hard
To get if you want to get hard you got to play hard to get wait is that why your last name is gith hard that’s exactly why my last name is gith hard well how do I play hard to get well whenever a girl likes you you just
Pretend not to like her back um let me try hey babe get in here hi this guy’s name is Roy you’re so hot you’re hot too ew nah man you blew it well how’ I blow it you’re not supposed to like her okay watch this hey I’m Roy you’re hot yeah I
Know um don’t you like me m not really I want you to like me yeah I know they all do that’s too bad babe see she wants me now cuz I don’t like her that’s so awesome did you write that down Joseph dude I’m writing it down now oh that’s
So awesome you’re so cool Roy okay now rule number three steal other people’s girls even if they’re in a happy relationship especially if they’re in a happy relationship because that relationship isn’t happy because they’re not with Roy oh why don’t we just go after single girls well because they’re
Single for a reason right that means other people don’t want them that’s why you have to go after girls who are already in relationships those are the good ones oh you’re right oh Roy is so smart yeah he’s smart dude that’s why he’s cool okay we’ll do that okay so
Rule number four is YOLO you only live want okay so do whatever you want like get married have kids get divorced don’t take care of the kids do whatever you want to do cuz you’re Roy live a full life live a full life and do whatever
You want as much as you want so so how many times can I do that oh you can do it forever that brings me to rule number five repeat you do all of this over and over again until you die but the most important thing is rule number one never
Pay for anything like especially Super Bowls especially Super Bowls okay oh my God so never pay play hard to get steal people’s girls YOLO and repeat yeah okay so you guys should memorize this and then we’ll go out into the battlefield and try to find some girls okay okay um
Memorize it okay number one two okay I think I memorized it all right let’s go find some girls okay let’s do it okay Roy I’m going to put you through the Roy test to test your Roy what’s the Roy test the Roy test is to get a date with
A girl how are we going to get a date with a girl at my house there’s no girls here I’m Roy there’s going to be girls here wherever there’s a Roy girls just appear ooh there’s a girl right there who want wants to talk to her first oh
I’ll do it go ahead then he failed how’d he fail he’s going to go talk to a girl he approached the girl Roy’s never approach a girl girls approach Roy D it Ro you’re so smart Roy let’s wait for the next girl hi is your name Roy yeah
You’re hot I know do you want to go on a date with me nah you seem like a skank I’m not a skank I’m single I guess look just pick me up at eight or something okay you failed what I got a date though she’s single that means there’s something wrong wrong with
Her oh I forgot about that yeah you’re only supposed to date girls in a relationship yeah you failed Roy run a lap a all right Roy I’m counting on you you’re the last Roy standing okay I got this hi are you Roy yeah whatever you’re
Hot I know do you think I’m pretty no you look ugly my boyfriend thinks I’m pretty who’s your boyfriend Roy what she’s your girlfriend yeah go for it bro I can’t steal your girlfriend it’s rule number three you have to it’s every Roy for himself okay I guess you look okay
Do you want to go on a date with me I guess we can go to the movies okay you buy the tickets and pick me up at 8 okay you failed how’ I fail you agreed to pay for the tickets Roy’s never pay for anything oh darn it I forgot rule number
One I’m very disappointed in you Roy go run a lap okay I’m very so disappointed in my Roy everybody Roy group upstairs Roy get in here sorry we’re running our lap so disappointed in you Roy wait where’s the third Roy uh I think he’s still talking to that girl pathetic he’s been talking
To a girl that long and he hasn’t even gone to a super Super Bowl yet I’m so ashamed of him yeah that’s lame he’s getting kicked out of Roy school well don’t don’t don’t kick us out we we want to be Roy yeah please don’t kick us out
Please I just don’t know what to do with you Roy you’re just just not Roy enough well we’ll do anything to be Roy enough just please don’t kick us don’t give up on us yeah we’re hopeless without you I don’t know please anything we’ll do anything we’ll kiss your feet I like
Feet okay I do have one more way I could make you more Ro what do we have to do we’ll do anything we’ll do anything right right we’ll do it yeah yeah yeah it’s a very invasive surgeon I don’t know if you’re ready for I can handle a
Surgery I can take a surgery yeah yeah we’ll do anything Roy please make us Roy are you sure you want to be full Roy we want to be full Roy please Roy okay follow me rise my Roy oh man I feel like Roy dude I feel exactly like Roy this is
Crazy oh you’re beautiful you have that Roy Look I think you’re finally Roy enough to be Roy Roy thinks we’re Roy enough yeah we’re Roy enough all you have to do is pass one more Roy test what’s the final Roy test you have to steal my girlfriend oh we can steal his
Girlfriend oh yeah I’m a stealer babe get in here hi you’re hot is your name Roy yeah whatever though do you want to go on a date with me nah my schedule’s busy a please please please please please please please oh look I’ll go on
A date with you but look you got the pay okay okay pick me up at 8 okay fail fail fail fail what I got a date and she’s paying for it you agreed to pick her up Roy never picks anybody up Roy gets picked up Roy doesn’t even own a car cuz
He doesn’t need one girls pick him up in their car but if Roy did own a car it’d be a rollsroyce but he doesn’t have a car because he doesn’t need it unless somebody bought it for him dude I am tired of this I’m obviously not Roy
Enough I’m out of here dude okay Roy you’re the last Roy damn it steal my girl I’ll steal her I’ll steal her babe hi you’re hot is your name Roy yeah whatever do you want to go on a date with me a date with you I have like
Three dates today already yeah yeah good good good but I guess I guess I can fit you in my tights schedule okay what do you want to do okay this is what’s going to happen you’re going to pick me up in your car you’re going to take me to the
Movies and pay with your money then you’re going to take me to dinner and pay and then you going to pay for dessert and you go back to my house and we’re going to watch Netflix that you paid for on your Netflix account okay see you at 8 good good Roy that was
Exceptional I couldn’t have done it better myself oh really yeah I think you’re finally Roy I’m finally Roy I’m finally Roy I did it because you’re Roy you get to wear the cool badge that only Roy get to wear really I I get the Roy
Cool bad yeah you do okay hurry up and put it on me I got to get ready for my date what I got to get ready for my date get ready you don’t get ready Roy’s always ready he doesn’t have to get ready if a girl calls you and says she
Bought you a plane ticket to go fly down to the Super Bowl you don’t get ready you just get on the plane and you go you don’t take any luggage or anything she’ll buy you clothes when you get there but but I got to take a shower no
No no Roy never showers he doesn’t need to shower God I don’t understand why you’re not Ro enough oh I’m so sorry I just want to be like you Roy you can’t be like me Roy you disgust me I’m leaving do I still go on a date with
Your girlfriend what do you mean do you still go of course you still go Roy always goes on dates with girls the fact that you even ask that tells me you’re not Roy enough you know if you just gone on the date anyway I would have said you
Were Roy enough but now I’m going to tell her not to go on a date with you because you’re not Roy oh so I’m so sorry Roy it’s just so hard being you your life is so perf Joseph I’m bored yeah me too dude guys guys look what I got oh no Joseph
You got a teddy bear wow you got a teddy bear to replace your stupid doll no now I still have Ken wow he has two of them now a doll and a teddy bear these two guys do you know what this is a teddy bear a blue one it’s not just any teddy
Bear it’s a star belly so what’s that do what what’s it do what’s it do junior turn off the lights and I’ll show you what it does are you going to mess with my butt no not this time okay let me turn off the lights all right Cody I turned off the
Lights all right guys are you ready to see into another galaxy it’s just a teddy bear Cody Junior I don’t think you understand what you’re about to see not that many people have seen and survived you’re about to travel across space at the speed of light no way dude yeah
You’re bluffing Cody all right guys are you ready it can’t be that great Cody it’s just a Cody oh my God y isn’t it incredible like the universe is on my ceiling the coolest thing ever ji it just busted up ho through your roof we’re looking into
Space right now that is so cool like oh my God we like astronauts oh dud wait where’s this light coming from Joseph don’t look directly my eyes my eyes we have to call a doctor to help Joseph Junior I can’t move it’s too beautiful okay okay okay
What we need to do is we have to kick the teddy bear off the couch okay I was trapping the spell of it okay let me call a doctor it’s okay Joseph oh God hey somebody call doctor yeah doctor we think my friend went blind oh how’d that happen did he look
At my ugly wife no he looked inside that star belly the star belly oh my God those things are dangerous they have the power of like a thousand suns inside of them I mean like looking inside of one of those is like taking your eyeball out and
Throwing it directly into the sun times a thousand like like where did you even find one of those I got it on the black market oh yeah I shop there all the time for like organs for transplants and stuff well if Joseph looked inside is he
Blind oh yeah if he looked in there he’s definitely blind well can I get a eye transplant oh yeah sure that’d be easy yeah that’ll just be hold on let me figure out the price um a million billion gazillion Killion jillion bedillion zillion dollars well we only have half a kazillion billion gazillion
Dollars well sorry kid that’s just not going to cut it have fun being blind loser well Joseph I guess you’re going to be blind for the rest of haha can’t see hey hey kid Hey kid guess which letter of the alphabet you can’t what C he
Can’t see you get it cuz he’s blind loser who is that anyway Joseph it looks like you going be blind for the rest of your life dude I had to give my show so I could see again did someone say so the devil yes thank you CJ I got this wait
Who’s that oh well it is bring your son to hell day so this is my son Craig junor but he goes by CJ yeah my name is CJ well what are you doing here oh well I heard your friend say that he would sail his soul to get his vision back
Well you already took a so yeah you took my show when you gave me my new shell oh that’s right I did oh never mind come on CJ no don’t want to go I want to stay here and play toys with my friends you you want to stay here with these losers
Yeah I want to play toys H okay I have a deal for you I am very busy in hell with a lot of paperwork so if you could just watch Craig junr for a little while I will give you your friend’s Vision back watch your son but I’m so busy today
Yeah me too guys okay fine we’ll watch him great then we have a deal I’ll be back in 24 hours to pick him up so I guess we’re watching the devil’s son dude I’ll be right back I got to use the bathroom this door won’t open Joseph
Wrong way oh okay that way thank you ow oh so CJ what do you want to do I want to start a fire where’ he poof to Junior he can poof of course he can poof he’s the devil’s son of course he knows how to
Poof oh okay he can be anyway he’s going to start a fire Cinnamon Toast Crunch the taste you can see fire fire what’s that smell sh baby your Hat’s on fire what oh CH are you okay no I’m not okay what was that b b fire CJ why’ you like
Chev’s hat on fire yeah fire give me that stop doing evil stuff Junior it’s the devil’s son I don’t know what you expect him to do B stuff he poofed where’ he poofed to this time a where’d he pooped to Daddy I don’t know Daddy oh
Man oh man I can’t wait to watch Charlie and fris it’s my favorite show ever who Li we like everybody where you going my TV get back [Applause] here my TV why would you do that bab b b bab I’mma kill you dad what happened to your
TV where did he go that little red thing threw my TV off the balcony oh CJ won’t stop doing evil stuff Junior it’s the devil’s son I don’t know what you want him to do oh we have to stop CJ before he breaks more stuff wait who’s CJ 1,800
1900 2,000 baby I finally have enough to pay my house payment on time I’m so proud of you Mario poof poof yeah give me your money what hey come back here no my house FL it Mar stop there’s one at the door let’s go put that fire out oh hello hey Mario you
Called and told me that you had your house payment so I came as fast as I could so where is it I don’t have it anymore how how from the time that I left my mansion and got to your house where did it go you see like this little
Mini devil like grabbed the money and then he threw it in a pot of fire what are you on Mario well I’m not on anything you need to clean up and go to rehab what I’m telling the truth look come here look I’m telling the truth see
Come and look look the money’s all burned why would you do that I did not do that the devil did Mario it looks like you made me money roone and cheese and you burnt it no I did not burn the money it was an accident look is there
Is there any way you can still accept the money it’s still intact a little bit no Mario there’s a million other things I’d rather accept than this burnt money like I’d rather have a a pimple on the inside of my butt crack and every time I
Wipe it just hurts a little bit just to remind me that it’s still there or I’d rather have an Applebee’s gift card and I don’t even need an apple B B B all right here we go where’d he go Cody junior he put a sewing needle in the Nerf bullet anyone who gets shot with that is going to get seriously hurt how evil we got to stop him I would rather stick my hand in a
Porta potty for a nickel I would rather what is thatw what uh what oh owie I’m tired of you get him oh donkey I can’t wait to dig into my nice delicious creamy cream cheesecake oh it’s going to be like a chocolate soft serve when it comes out oh it’s going to
Explode my bowels all right let’s dig in oh what happened to my Che oh come here you I’m going to get you shk what happened that little red booger ate all my cheesecak well I don’t know where he came from I’m playing my bonon oh hey Mr red guy what doing you
POA we have to stop him Cody he keeps doing a lot of evil stuff we have to stop him who’s at the door uh hello hey there I got a pizza for a guy named Shrek oh don’t get that’s me all right let me show you what you’re getting oh okay
Boom take a look at that oh delicious yeah I’m Uber I got to show you the pizza so you know I didn’t spit in it okay so how’s that look oh looks delicious yeah I made that happen I’m uberit that was rude doie what did you
Do to my pizza oh CJ he CJ you need to stop you’re being too evil and hurting people yeah I never stop oh God please help us hey what do you want I’m playing a game right now God yeah yeah whatever I’m playing this plague game whatever I
Do in the game happens in real life it’s awesome what can you please stop that and tell CJ to stop being evil fine hey hey hey CJ stop it I’m never going to stop well I’ve done all I can I’m going back to playing my game when’s the devil
Coming back to pick up his son oh thank God you’re here oh oh don’t say that oh I’m here to pick up Craig junor how was he oh he was so awful oh really he was so evil oh what did he do well first he let she’s hat on fire oh
And then and then he threw my dad’s TV off a balcony oh and then he threw this guy’s money into a fire oh and then he knocked his guy’s cheesecake on the ground oh Craig junor is this true yes Craig junor I’m so proud of you what you’re proud of
Him yes of course he was too good before so I’m so happy he learned how to be evil come on Craig junr let’s go steal candy from some orphans well wait but before you leave you said you were going to give Joseph his vision back oh yeah right your eyes are fixed
Now oh I can see again yeah all right guys now that we all can see again well oh Joseph can see again what do you want to do next oh I know what we’re going to do now get the lights Junior okay all right guys are
You ready to go back to space y all right wa oh my God it’s so amazing oh dude I can’t help myself oh man I can’t wait to eat Cookie Crisp with my friends for breakfast uh junior where do you think you’re going with that um me and my friends are going to
Be eating Cookie Crisp for breakfast no you’re not Jun do you want diabetes yes wa what no you don’t Junior shut up look I made vegetables for you so you’re eating vegetables for breakfast vegetables D you need to start eating healthier okay well no I don’t need to
Eat healthy look I told my friends we were eating Cookie Crisp or breakfast so I have to eat Cookie Crisp no you’re not look I guess you lied to your friends cuz you’re not eating Cookie Crisp but sh me if we don’t eat Cookie Crisp they’re going to call me a loser well
You need to face the truth because you are a loser no no chat baby look please we have to eat cookies for breakfast please no you’re not eating cookie Cris today junior I can’t eat vegetables for breakfast that’s gross Cookie Cris time let’s eat some cookie Cris Cookie Time Cookie Time cookie Cris time e oh my God it’s vegetables what’s wrong with you oh got i m oh my God I’m about to be I’m about to be sick guys guys I don’t want to eat vegetables but
Chef Pee said we can’t eat cookies for breakfast cuz it’s unhealthy well it’s cookies for breakfast of course it’s unhealthy Junior we brought our spoons we’ve been planning on eating Cookie Crisp today for the last month yeah dude and it’s our bodies why is he worried
About it I don’t know I know it’s America we should be allowed to be obese by the age of 20 if we want to yeah yeah and this is America yeah we can get fat if we want to oh yeah okay so guys screw these vegetables I’m I’m going to take
These vegetables I’m going to throw them in Chef B’s face oh yeah and then I’m going to grab a box of cookie Cris okay yeah you take this trash out of here yeah it’s trash it’s trash yeah it’s trash it’s crap yeah it’s ugly crap yeah let’s all spit on it yeah
Little Bank it what what I said I said let’s spit on it cuz it’s cuz it’s crap all right I’m taking this and throwing it in Chef pe’s face yeah yeah do that dude okay Chef peipi put the Cookie Crisp on top of the refrigerator so all I have to do is
Throw this bowl of vegetables at his head knock him out and grab the Cookie Crisp And Run Okay 3 2 one Bulls Eye all right guys I got the cookie Cris that’s what I’m talking about cookie Cris I like the their mascots a wolf so if he ate that chocolate he’d die wait
Wolves die if they eat chocolate I thought only dogs died if they ate chocolate wolves are like dogs so we still die wait so he’s willing to die over the cereal yeah but two can Sam’s not willing to die over the Froot Loops so that means this cereal is worth dying
For yep let’s Munch let’s get to munch it wait wait wait hold on let me turn on the TV so we can watch TV while we eat hey there I’m the head of marketing for the the hit cereal Cookie Crisp now here at Cookie Crisp we’re looking for a new
Catchy jingle to sell our cereal because it turns out telling people it’s cookies for breakfast is making parents not want to give the cereal to their kids so I am personally offering my PS5 to anybody who comes up with a new catchy jingle for our cereal now I know what you’re
Thinking why am I up here asking you to make a jingle for me well that’s because my boss has given me till tomorrow to come up with one and well I’m kind of stuck I can’t really think of anything so if you can help me out that be great
And I’ll give you a PS5 waa Joseph huh stop eating your cereal like a woodpecker oh my bad dude it’s a bad habit why’ you even bring the spoon guys we could win a PlayStation 5 we could all win one well one what I mean
We could win one no we we’re going to win a PlayStation 5 but we haven’t won a PlayStation 5 yet well well when we win we will have won one you don’t have to say won twice if we win we’ll win one no I mean we won’t all win one yes we will
That’s what we’re trying to do we’re trying to win one okay we’re not even going to win so so it doesn’t matter all right guys we got to think of a catchy slogan for Cookie Crisp dude I got one what what is it $5 $5 Cookie Crisp oh I
Like that I like that and they can sell cookie for $5 exactly no no guys guys we can’t do that Subway already did that what well you know they had that song that was like $5 foot long no no no no no I’m pretty sure I just thought of it yeah yeah
Subway didn’t do that yeah they did they did it like years ago what okay foot long just sounds like something you want right oh I I got I got it you can’t out Cookie Crisp the Hut dude that’s genius right no that’s just Pizza Hut no it’s
Not Pizza Hut is you can’t Out Pizza The Hut no no way but yeah I just thought that on my own I was like you can’t out Cookie Crisp the Hut you didn’t think of that cuz why else would you say Hut well why does pizza get a Hut because they’re
Called Pizza Hut well what if we call ours cookie CIS Hut well that’s not the name of the company it’s just cookie okay you can’t out cookie the crisp what what Junior no that’s too similar we’re going to get sued no it’s too similar yeah okay so then why doesn’t uh the
Color orange sue the color red J that doesn’t even make sense no no no the the colors look really similar so why don’t they sue each other cuz they’re similar yeah they know how to get along yeah but they’re not if colors can get along then then companies can get along okay you
Know what fine guys why doesn’t Aquafina Sue Dan they they both sell water it looks the same but they’re not stealing each other’s ideas for slogans and no we’re saying cookie Cris we’re not saying Pizza we’re not saying Subway guys can we just go back to watching TV
And eating our cook no we’re going to win this PlayStation 5 and we’re all going to have one and get to play all right fine all right so um Joseph you’re going to write the lyrics okay dude I’m going to sing with my beautiful voice and Joseph you’re going to I call you
Joseph Cody you’re going to shoot the music video and uh we’re all going to have contributed to this cool jingle okay all right fine all right let’s all huddle up oh huddle up dude break but we didn’t even hey Cody all right guys I just sent the song to the contest dude we’re
Totally going to win oh we’re definitely going to win Joseph yeah dude are we going to win Cody no we’re going to get sued because this song’s illegal illegal but oh you’re saying the song is so good it should be illegal cuz after people hear it cookie Chris is going to sell
Billions and billions of box of cereal and make trillions of dollars and it should be illegal to have that much money totally no it’s illegal because we stole ideas from a bunch of other companies we didn’t steal ideas look Joseph is a lyrical genius and every lyric in this song was 100% original
Right Joseph yeah 100% original came off the Dome I thought of it like right off the Dome like like the lyric B I’m Cookie Crisp like Joseph thought of that yeah dude I just thought of it I don’t know how I thought of it it just
Came to me you know it just came to him you thought of it because you heard it in a McDonald’s commercial oh okay okay what about the we have the meat yeah that’s from Arby’s no it’s not we thought of that originally right Joseph
Yeah it just came to me in a dream dude yeah yeah we have the meats sometimes I leave my TV on you know when I fall asleep but it did come to me in a dream yeah why would you even say you had Meats there’s no meat in Cookie Crisp no
No no it’s not about meat being in the Cookie Crisp it’s about you know like when you eat a lot of Cookie Crisp you get really fat so you have a lot of meat on your body so you have the meats on your body from eating a lot of Cookie
Crisp yeah guys okay whatever when we get sued I don’t want to have any part of this okay well you basically had no part of this because you didn’t think of anything like you held the camera so you have like one% of effort like you get you get 1% of credit for this
Commercial oh guys guys that could be the PS5 oh dude we at lawyer uh hello congratulations you won the PS5 D yeah you made my job a lot easier here you go oh my God thank you so much yes Cody we got a PS5 yeah we did no way
Yes way and no thanks to you I I I held the camera you did like 1% of effort so you get to play it for like 1 minute oh dude I want to play it right now well I want to play it right now well dude I
Should play it first I wrote the song well I sang the song well well I am the song Because I wrote it everybody’s going to remember the lyrics well it wouldn’t have been a hit if it wasn’t for my beautiful voice singing it no nobody cares about your voice it’s the
Lyrics dude oh how about this how about this Joseph how about this how about for the first 6 months of the year I get to keep the system at my house and for the second 6 Months of the Year you get to keep it at your trailer no that’s not
Fair I want to play it now okay well can you think of a better reason um how about we flip a coin for it and if it lands on Tails I get it take it to my house trailer whatever and if it lands on heads you get to keep it at your
House well that does thing Fair wait what about me I helped what about you well I did hold the camera okay how about this how about this how about this if it lands on heads I get to keep it at my house it lands on Tails Joseph gets
To take it to his trailer and if it lands perfectly on the edge like this like not heads or tails if it just lands right on the edge you get to take it to your house oh come on that’ll never happen yeah because you did like nothing
So you should get like the least amount of chance to keep at your house yeah I think that’s fair I think it’s fair too so I’m going to flip it oh oh it went behind the couch let’s go look let’s go look okay all right Joseph where’s it at uh right there dude
Yes no no way it’s a miracle no it’s a nightmare no no there’s no way at land like that okay okay new rule it has to land on a hard surface like that no no you didn’t say that Junior this counts well I didn’t say that no you didn’t say
That dude so I guess it’s fair it’s not fair look it landed like that on carpet so so technically it’s it’s like a it’s like it’s faulty you know we got to redo it no no Junior it landed the way you said so now I get to keep the PS5 but
But you didn’t do anything I sang the song I put my heart and soul into it what your heart and soul in the lyrics you didn’t write look guys if you want to play it you can just come over to my house well Cody well well you better set it right
Because we’re playing it tonight and I’m going to play it all night at your house so set it up right you’re not going to play it before me stupid corner I love B so much God Karen you know when my boss gave me that raise for getting the
Cookie Crisp song done I thought I’d use the money on something nice not the buy you a new ukulele but Bo I thought you liked it when I sang to you did I really say that man I must have wanted some that night Bo what should I sing next
The least annoying thing possible Rock It All Around the Christmas Tree January what God I missed my PS5 this is his PS5 God I got to get it back somehow wait wait I already got the raise I could just go over to whoever’s house I
Gave the PS5 to and just take it yeah yeah I can just dress up like a cop and say that I got to search the house and then just NAB it but it’s going to dress up like a cop and leaving now oh wow PS5 I didn’t
Think you’d actually come to my house a so cool I can’t wait to set you up what who’s that at the door boy where do you think you going I was going to answer the door no not in my house you better go in the kitchen and wash dishes with
Your mama but it might be my friends you don’t have friends dork okay yeah hello hey there sir no no I’m not here to arrest anybody well BR well I I don’t I don’t have any handcuffs see let me see see no no handcuffs here you you should have said
That the first time what do you want well I I’m with the neighborhood watch and we don’t like your kind here so tell me what you want real fast okay I’m with the neighborhood watch and I’m going door to door looking for uh the the the boogeyman the boogeyman yeah the
Boogeyman he’s he’s real dangerous and I think you might be hiding under your kid’s bed look if you wanted to search my house you should have just asked look I would have let you come in and search my house oh but if you find anything
It’s not mine it’s my wife’s oh so take her to jail okay thank you sir all right come on all right this my son’s room he a little fruity but uh get to claim them on my taxes so it’s all good yeah he one of them lgbtqs so he like lettuce guacamole
Bacon lettuce tomatoes and I think quesadillas or something yeah yeah okay oh no a boogeyman box a boogeyman box that’s a PlayStation 5 no no no sir that’s a boogeyman box see the boogeyman lives in a box and that’s it that’s what that is whatever works dude as long as I
Don’t have to go to jail for it take whatever I’m going to have to confiscate this come you’re so slimy what’s up Mom not right now Cody what’s wrong Mom you know that little goldfish that you love so much yeah well I was cleaning his fish
Bowl and he wouldn’t sit still so now he fell down the garbage disposal well get him out mom what do you think I’ve been trying to do Cody what do you think this Fork is for Mom you can’t get him out with a forart you talk back to me one
More time and I’m going to turn the disposal on hold on mom there’s someone at the door don’t turn it on Hello hey we came to play the PlayStation 5 it’s not a good time guys it’s not a good time you’re just trying to talk it for
Yourself fine okay come in just my parents are being really weird all right guys it’s right here where’s it at Cody I don’t know it was right here how do you lose a PlayStation 5 Cody I don’t know Junior was here a minute ago wow wow wow yeah I
Know what you’re doing Cody you’re so selfish and so greedy that you hid the PS5 and you’re going to act like you lost it just so you can play all by yourself but no guys really it was right here a minute ago wait wait what’s this
Police this is a police hat wait I I know where he lives wait how do you know he lives dude I I follow him sometimes oh oh that’s cool okay so what you’re trying to do is you’re trying to say that the PlayStation 5 was stolen by a police officer police officers don’t
Steal they stop people from stealing well it was his PlayStation to begin with so maybe he wanted it back okay how about this Joseph you stay here and watch and watch Cody and make sure he doesn’t run off and I’ll go to the police officer’s house and see if he
Stole the PS5 back oh I’ll stay here dude and if he moves it’s puming time right it’s puming time oh yeah puming time and if if I go to the police officer’s house and he doesn’t have the PS5 puming time puming time puming time okay so I’ll be right back
Cody I missed you baby I’m so glad I got my PS5 back boy got his PS5 back yeah yeah I did Karen can you just go play that outside please wants me to go play all right let’s get to playing oh it’s been a long day time to play me some
Spiderman yeah look at that I’m Spiderman who am I I’m Spiderman that’s right what oh good grief who Could That Be oh hey you hey hey how’s that PS5 treating you I had to walk across the Interstate to get here yeah yeah I’m sorry about that okay well uh you left
Your hat oh oh did I oh well well thank you for returning that I’ll just I’ll take that right back from you I’m not giving it back if you give us our PS5 back I don’t have your PS5 oh really cuz I found your hat where the PS5 used to
Be so you came back and took it back and your hat fell off no I I I don’t know what you’re talking about I don’t have it well if you don’t have it then let me look around your house and if I don’t see it I’ll give your hat back no what
You’re not a cop you you don’t have a warrant you don’t even know how this works well come on okay I guess I just go throw your hat on the interstate no no no no no no I need that if I lose part of my uniform I get fined so then
Let me see you around your house and if there’s a PS5 then you give it back if I don’t see a PS5 then you get to have your hat back uh okay come on in nice place thank you hey hey what what’s up oh I I heard a noise oh that’s
Weird shoot bless you bless you thank you you’re welcome Hey this this is a hammer that I have do you like it it it’s nice yeah show it to all my guests it’s it’s purple weigh 7 o yeah wow yeah can I get a glass of water you you
Know you sure can yeah just just help help yourself well that’s actually the Frieza oh wait do you have any cups I I don’t well I I don’t really want ow I’m sorry I don’t know what I was thinking you your PlayStation’s in the living room just go get it I’m I’m
Sorry okay there it is the PlayStation yeah and I’m sorry again about the whole Hammer thing I don’t know I I was just being immature I just didn’t want to lose the PlayStation I I just got a raise I can buy another one well here’s
Your hat back oh thank you oh I can’t wait to take this home wait who’s that I’ll get it you can’t get the door at my house I’ll get it hello it’s cold and the interstate is right there I’m scared someone’s going to run off the interstate and hit me let me inside
Your house yeah okay come in I’m Spiderman oh I want to be Spiderman oh yeah sorry why you here well I’m here because I’m the CEO of McDonald’s Burger King Lucky Charms Kit Kat and State Farm you know what all the companies and I’m suing you for using
Our slogans it’s copyright you’re doing it why because you submitted the little Cookie Crisp jingle and I’m not the CEO of Cookie Crisp so I’m suing you because you use our copyright slogans but but I but I thought it was original kid wasn’t it original definitely
100% I’m suing it and I’m suing you because you’re the one who submitted it oh come on please don’t sue me my life sucks enough as it is well H my son does want the new PlayStation 5 so I guess you can give me that kid kid give him
The PlayStation no way it’s mine give me the PlayStation it’s mine hey um Daddy can I go outside and try to eat my golf ball no Jeffy it’s raining outside Jeffy how many times do we have to tell you do not eat golf balls well then why they look so yummy
They don’t well they look like marshmallows but jimy Mario why is it raining so badly I don’t know let’s turn on the Weather Channel and see what happens Breaking news UK a hurricane named hurricane Sally is hitting us right now it’s a category 2 storm so stay inside oh what’s that we have word now that reporter Goodman is on scene to tell us how bad it is how bad is it Goodman it’s bad a hurricane I didn’t
Know where hurricane was hitting Mario we have to prepare we need supplies we need food water ice flashlights batteries and gas there’s your gas right there Mommy Rosalina we don’t have to prepare everything’s going to be fine it’s just a little bit of rain and wind but Mario
It’s a category too that ain’t nothing um D what’s your hurricane a hurricane is a big storm that just destroys everything well I want to be a hurricane you can’t be a hurricane Jeffy well why does Sally get to be one Sally’s not a real person it’s just the name of the
Storm Jeffy well Daddy when I grow up I want to be the biggest hurricane ever well you’ll never be a hurricane Jeffy well Danny since you don’t believe in me I’m going to grow up and be the biggest baddest hurricane ever and then you’re going to see me on the news
So he’s so stupid Mario I’m really worried there’s nothing to worry about baby it’s just a little bit of rain and wind everyone look out for Hurricane Jeffy I’m going to destroy everything in my pth [Applause] uh Jeffy why are you destroying the living room and hissing like a cat cuz
I’m a hurricane Junior you’re a hurricane how’d you become one of those well I was watching TV and I saw this girl named Sally and she became a hurricane and now everyone’s afraid of her but she’s a total to but she blows like a 10 Junior and she’s got a whole
Lot of with W wind and precipitation oh she sounds so hot well if you want to meet her she’s right outside she’s outside like right now yeah I’m so nervous I’m not ready to meet her I need some advice some Chef peee all right oh man that won’t fit I bought the
Wrong size well it’s not the first time I bought the wrong size for something that’s not going to fit hey Chef peee can I ask you for some dating advice no Junior not right now I’m trying to make some food just in case the power goes out stupid hurricane Sally Sally you
Know about her too yes Junior everybody knows about her she’s dangerous She’s Dangerous yes but is she bad though yes she’s bad and she’s huge oh she’s a big girl that’s why everyone’s saying she’s a two no she’s a category two but she’s nothing to play with well what if I
Think I can handle her Junior you can’t handle her she’ll blow you away oh how bad is she what Junior hurricanes are nothing to play with they could take your car your house maybe even your life what she look like what what Junior what are you talking about I think I’m
Thinking with the wrong headshot I’m going to go outside and see her Junior don’t go out side what’s wrong with you uh Sally um I really like you and I heard you’re bad and I don’t care if you’re a two I think you’re a 10 and I think big girls need love too
So I’d like to be your boyfriend Sally just you can give me your answer later oh shf peee I didn’t see Sally what do you mean you didn’t see her she’s huge hey SHP you stop talking about my girlfriend like that what yeah I know you think she’s a two but she’s a
10 to me and just because she’s fat I love big girls I think they need love Junior it’s a hurricane what are you doing Jeffy I’m a hurricane oh my God Mario oh Mario the storm sounds like it’s getting worse it’s just wind and rain it’s not getting
Worse Mario what’s wrong chfp Jeff’s destroying the entire house he is Jeffy what Jeffy what are you doing I told you I’d be a hurricane daddy Jeffy you’re going to clear up this mess right now you can’t stop a hurricane Daddy what’s wrong Mario go ahead tell her Jeffy thinks he’s a hurricane he’s destroying the entire house I’m sure he’s not destroying the entire house Mario just my kitchen yeah in the living room he’s making a huge mess Mario we’ll clean it up later he’s letting his
Imagination wander well he needs to stop wandering around my kitchen and making a mess oh no the power went out no I’m scared of the dark what are we going to do you know what that was so annoying I think I’m going to date men now oh okay
Look we knew this was going to happen uh hurricanes make the power go out so look we we knew this was going to happen so what’s the first thing we got to do oh Mario do we have to reproduce now cuz she’s the only girl here oh that’s why
I’m scared of the dark Mario oh look look look look okay we need to look for flashlight does anybody know where a flashlight is oh I have a flashlight on my phone okay grab that see oh God woman I’m blind yeah put it that way yeah okay
We need to go find Jeffy first so I mean it shouldn’t be hard to find he’s going around saying let’s go look for him uh Rosalina can you shine your flashlight down the stairs so I can see sure Mario thank you but what if he’s upstairs I didn’t think
About that where’s the light sorry Mario uh you you good Mario oh I think I broke my back Mario do you see Jeffy anywhere he’s throwing chairs in the dining room Jeffy stop doing that didn’t have to come on Jeffy where are you uh SHP why are
The lights off because of Sally Junior she turned the lights off yes probably because you guys keep calling her fat so she feels ugly so she turns the lights off so we can’t see her what Junior no you hav’t confused Sally is not a person it’s a hurricane yeah you guys keep
Saying she’s nasty and stuff well maybe her neck game’s like a giraffe you know big girls hungry junior junior if you want to see Sally I will show you Sally come here well right now I’m really nervous should I see her right now yes I will show you Sally come here see Junior
That’s Sally She’s Dangerous wait why are the street lights on hello wait who are you oh my name’s Sally I got lost and it’s raining can I come inside shf baby she’s not fat what this isn’t the Sally I was talking about Junior I’m sorry Sally everyone’s been calling you
A two it’s Category 2 it’s a real storm look I don’t have time to deal with this look look I don’t think you’re a two I’ve been thinking you’re a 10 this whole time and I didn’t even see you and you don’t have to turn the lights off I
Don’t think you’re ugly so you can come to my room okay turn the lights back on all right so this is my bed see I got Thomas sheets maybe I can call my friend over later and we can run a Thomas on you oh I like trains you’re so pretty I
Don’t know why everyone say so much bad stuff about you they do yeah you’re all over the news I am yeah they keep saying you’re a two and that you’re fat and dangerous and apparently you play the trombone cuz your mouth getting crazy you blow really good oh that’s not nice
Yeah so I don’t know I don’t care what they say all I care about is that you’re with me now and I’m always going to treat you great um do you have a phone so I can call my parents you want me to meet your parents yeah I’ll get my phone
Okay hello Mom Dad I was at the park and it started raining and I found a house and they let me in and some kid told me the news is saying I’m fat and a number two oh you’re going to come get me okay see you soon oh what did they say about
Me oh man I don’t want to embarrass you you think you think your parents are going to like me oh I need to impress them I need to brush my teeth I need to put on deodorant oh I’m so nervous why are you so nervous I’ve never met A
Hurricane’s parents are they mean are they nice oh I don’t know Jeffy where you at oh he’s in the pantry Mario the street lights on but the street lights are on yes that doesn’t make any why don’t we have power I don’t know let me go check the second Breer Jeffy stop
It Jeffy stop it you are not a hurricane Baboo b b Baboo what Mario maybe if you tell him he is a hurricane he’ll stop that doesn’t make any sense it’s not going to work Daddy I’m hungry for Destruction Jeff actually you know what you are a hurricane you’re the biggest strongest
Meanest most dangerous hurricane of them all I want you to keep doing it because that makes me proud well now I don’t want to do it anymore that’s lame it actually worked somebody messed with it Mario we have power the power’s back on how did that happen Jeffy must have turned him off
When he thought he was a hurricane oh oh you know before your parents pick us up I was thinking maybe we should Porky Pig um I’m Jewish I don’t eat pork well I’m a whole lot of turtle what’s wrong e e you you look better with the lights off I thought you
Were fat what E I don’t want someone who’s pretty I’m a chubby chaser I thought there was cushion for the pushing ew what what did I do you’re a total two with the lights on with the lights off you’re a 10 get out of my house a all right we
Survived the Jeffy hurricane and you’re lucky daddy cuz y’ was going to keep going but now we have to survive the real hurricane that’s happening outside at least we still have power Mario at least we have still power Mario that’s what you sound like sit down all right
So now let’s just sit here and we have power
2 Comments
First
I found the flag