Hey um Daddy can I go outside and try to eat my golf ball no Jeffy it’s raining outside Jeffy how many times do we have to tell you do not eat golf balls well then why they look so yummy they don’t well they look like marshmallows JY Mario why is it raining
So badly I don’t know let’s turn on the Weather Channel and see what happens breaking new new Muk a hurricane named hurricane Sally is hitting us right now it’s a category 2 storm so stay inside oh what’s that we have word now that reporter Goodman is on scene to
Tell us how bad it is how bad is it Goodman it’s bad a hurricane I didn’t know where a hurricane was hitting Mario we have to prepare we need supplies we need food water ice flashlights batteries and gas there your gas right there Mommy roselina we don’t have to prepare
Everything’s going to be fine it’s just a little bit of rain and wind but Mario it’s a category too that ain’t nothing um dadd what’s your hurricane a hurricane is a big storm that just destroys everything well I want to be a hurricane you can’t be a hurricane Jeffy
Well why does Sally get to be one Sally’s not a real person it’s just the name of the storm Jeffy well Daddy when I grow up I want to be the biggest hurricane ever well you’ll never be a hurricane Jeffy well Danny since you don’t believe in me I’m going to grow up
And be the biggest badest hurricane ever and then you’re going to see me on the news so he’s so stupid Mario I’m really worried there’s nothing to worry about baby it’s just a little bit of rain and wind for everyone look out for Hurricane Jeffy I’m going to destroy everything in my pth
[Applause] uh Jeffy why are you destroying the living room and hissing like a cat cuz I’m a hurricane Junior you’re a hurricane how’d you become one of those well I was watching TV and I saw this girl named shally and she became a hurricane and now everyone’s afraid of
Her but she’s a total too but she blows like a 10 Junior and she’s got a whole lot of what’s wind and precipitation oh she sounds so hot well if you want to meet her she’s right outside she’s outside like right now yeah I’m so nervous I’m not ready to
Meet her I need some advice some shf peipe all right oh man that won’t fit I bought the wrong size well it’s not the first time I bought the wrong size for something that’s not going to fit hey Chef peee can I ask you for some dating advice no
Junior not right now I’m trying to make some food just in case the power goes out stupid hurricane Sally Sally you know about her too yes Junior Every everybody knows about her she’s dangerous She’s Dangerous yes but is she bad though yes she’s bad and she’s huge
Oh she’s a big girl that’s why everyone’s saying she’s a two no she’s a category 2 but she’s nothing to play with well what if I think I can handle her Junior you can’t handle her she’ll blow you away oh how bad is she what Junior hurricanes are nothing to play
With they could take your car your house maybe even your life what she look like what what Junior what are you talking about I think I’m thinking with the wrong headshot I’m going to go outside and see her Junior don’t go outside what’s wrong with you uh
Sally um I really like you and I heard you’re bad and I don’t care if you’re a two I think you’re a 10 and I think big girls need love too so I’d like to be your boyfriend Sally just you can give me your answer later uh shf peipi I didn’t see Sally
What do you mean you didn’t see her she’s huge hey shfp you stop talking about my girlfriend like that what you I know you think she’s a two but she’s a 10 to me and just because she’s fat I love big girls I think they need love Junior it’s a
Hurricane what are you doing Jeffy I’m a hurricane oh my God Mario oh Mario the storm sounds like it’s getting worse it’s just wind and rain it’s not getting worse Mario what’s wrong Chef peipi Chef’s destroying the entire house he is Jeffy Jeffy what are you doing I told
You I’d be a hurricane daddy Jeffy you’re going to clear up this mess right now you can’t stop a hurricane Daddy what’s wrong Mario go ahead tell her Jeffy thinks he’s a hurricane he’s destroying the entire house I’m sure he’s not destroying the entire house Mario just my kitchen yeah in the living room he’s making a huge mess Mario we’ll clean it up later he’s letting his
Imagination wander well he needs to stop wandering around my kitchen and making a mess oh no the power went out no I’m scared of the dark what are we going to do you know what that was so annoying I think I want to date men now oh okay
Look we knew this was going to happen uh hurricanes make the power go out so look we we knew this was going to happen so what’s the first thing we got to do oh Mario do we have to reproduce now cuz she’s the only girl here oh that’s why
I’m scared of the dark Mario oh wait look look look look okay we need to look for flashlight does anybody know where a flashlight is oh I have a flashlight on my phone okay grab that see oh God woman I’m blind yeah put it that way yeah okay
We need to go find Jeffy first so I mean it shouldn’t be hard to find he’s going around saying you let’s go look for him uh Rosalina can you shine your flashlight down the stairs so I can see sure Mario thank you but what if he’s upstairs I
Didn’t think about that where’s the light sorry Mario oh you you good Mario oh I think I broke my back Mario do you see Jeffy anywhere he’s throwing chairs in the dining room Jeffy stop doing that didn’t have to come on Jeffy where are you uh shfp PE why
Are the lights off because of Sally Junior she turned the lights off yes probably because you guys keep calling her fat so she feels ugly so she turns the lights off so we can’t see her what Junior no you hav’t confused Sally is not a person it’s a hurricane yeah you
Guys keep saying she’s nasty and stuff well maybe her net game’s like a giraffe you know big girls hungry junior junior if you want to see Sally I will show you Sally come here well right now I’m really nervous should I see it right now
Yes I will show you Sally come here see Junior that’s Sally She’s Dangerous wait why are the street lights on hello wait who are you oh my name’s Sally I got lost and it’s raining can I come inside shf baby she’s the fat what this isn’t the Sally I was talking about
Junior I’m sorry Sally everyone’s been calling you a two it’s category two it’s a real storm look I don’t have time to deal with this look look I don’t think you’re a two I’ve been thinking you’re a 10 this whole time and I didn’t even see
You and you don’t have to turn the lights off I don’t think you’re ugly a so you can come to my room okay turn the lights back on all right so this is my bed see I got Thomas sheets maybe I can call my friend over later and we can run
A Thomas on you oh I like trains you’re so pretty I don’t know why everyone said so much bad stuff about you they do yeah you’re all over the news I am yeah they keep saying you’re a two and that you’re fat and dangerous and apparently you
Play the trombone cuz your mouth gting crazy you blow really good oh that’s not nice yeah so I don’t know I don’t care what they say all I care about is that you’re with me now and I’m always going to treat you great um do you have a
Phone so I can call my parents you want me to meet your parents yeah I’ll get my phone okay hello Mom Dad I was at the park and and it started raining and I found a house and they let me in and some kid told me the news is saying I’m
Fat and a number two oh you’re going to come get me okay see you soon oh what’ they say about me oh man I don’t want to embarrass you you think you think your parents are going to like me oh I need to impress them I need to brush my teeth
I need to put on deodorant oh I’m so nervous why are you so nervous I’ve never met A hurricane’s parents are they mean are they nice oh I don’t know Jeffy where you at oh he’s in the pantry Mario the street lights on but the street lights
Are on yes that doesn’t make any why don’t we have power I don’t know let me go check the second recer Jeffy stop it Jeffy stop it you are not a hurricane bab b b Baboo what Mario maybe if you tell him he is a hurricane he’ll stop
That doesn’t make any sense it’s not going to work Daddy I’m hungry for Destruction Jeff actually you know what what you are a hurricane you’re the biggest strongest meanest most dangerous hurricane of them all I want you to keep doing it because that makes me proud
Well now I don’t want to do it anymore that’s lame it actually worked somebody messed with it Mario we have power what the power’s back on how did that happen Jeffy must have turned him off when he thought he was a hurricane oh you know before your
Parents Pig us up I was thinking maybe we should Porky Pig um I’m Jewish I don’t eat pork well I’m a whole lot of turtle what’s wrong ew e you look better with the lights off I thought you were fat what E I don’t want someone who’s
Pretty I’m a chubby chaser I thought they was cushion for the push ew what what did I do you’re a total two with the lights on with the lights off you’re a 10 get out of my house a all right we survived the Jeffy hurricane and you’re
Lucky daddy cuz y’all was going to keep going but now we have to survive the real hurricane that’s happening outside at least we still have power Mario at least we have still power Mario that’s what you sound like sit down all right so now let’s just sit here and we have
Power we have food everything’s back to normal hey Daddy you know how I wanted to be a hurricane well I don’t want to be a hurricane anymore oh man I can’t wait to eat cookie Cris with my friends for breakfast uh junior where do you think you’re going with that um me and
My friends are going to be eating Cookie Crisp for breakfast no you’re not Junior do you want diabetes yes what no you don’t Junior shut up look I made vegetables for you so you’re eating vegetables for breakfast vegetables D you need to start eating healthier okay no I don’t even eat
Healthy look I told my friends we were eating Cookie Crisp for breakfast so I have to eat Cookie Crisp no you’re not look I guess you lied to your friends cuz you’re not eating Cookie Crisp but sh me if we don’t eat cookie CPS they’re
Going to call me a loser well you need to face the truth because you are a loser no no chat baby look please we you have to eat cookies for breakfast please uh no you’re not eating Cookie Crisp today junior I can’t eat vegetables for breakfast that’s
Gross cookie Cris time let’s eat some cookie Cris Cookie Time Cookie Time Cookie Time Cookie Time e oh my God it’s vegetables what’s wrong with you oh God I melt oh my God I’m about to be sick I’m about to be sick God God guys I don’t want to eat vegetables but Chef
Pee said we can’t eat cookies for breakfast cuz it’s unhealthy well it’s cookies for breakfast of course it’s unhealthy Junior we brought our spoons we’ve been planning on eating Cookie Crisp today for the last month yeah dude and it’s our bodies why is he worried about it I don’t know I know it’s
America we should be allowed to be obese by the age of 20 if we want to yeah yeah and this is America yeah we can get fat if we want to oh yeah okay so guys screw these vegetables I’m I’m going to take these vegetables I’m going to throw them
In Chef’s face yeah and then I’m going to grab a box of cookie CR okay yeah you take this trash out of here yeah it’s trash it’s trash yeah it’s trash it’s crap it’s ugly crap yeah let’s all spit on it it what what I said I said let’s spit on it cuz
It’s cuz it’s crap all right I’m taking this and throwing it in Chef’s face yeah yeah do that dude okay Chef peei put the Cookie Crisp on top of the refrigerator so all I have to do is throw this bowl of vegetables at his head knock him out and grab the Cookie
Crisp And Run Okay three two one Bullseye all right guys I got the Cookie Crisp that’s what I’m talking about cookie Cris I like that their mascot’s a wolf so if he ate that chocolate he’d die wait wolves die if they eat chocolate I thought only dogs died if they atat
Chocolate whates are like dog so he still die wait so he’s willing to die over the cereal yeah but two can Sam’s not willing to die the Froot Loops so that means this cereal is worth dying for yep let’s Munch let’s get to munching wait wait wait hold on let me
Turn on the TV so we can watch TV while we eat hey there I’m the head of marketing for the hit cereal Cookie Crisp now here at Cookie Crisp we’re looking for a new catchy jingle to sell our cereal because it turns out telling people it’s cookies for breakfast is
Making parents not want to give the cereal to their kids so I am personally offering my PS5 to anybody who comes up with a new catchy jingle for our cereal now I know what you thinking why am I up here asking you to make a jingle for me
Well that’s because my boss has given me till tomorrow to come up with one and well I’m kind of stuck I can’t really think of anything so if you could help me out that’d be great and I’ll give you a PS5 wa Joseph H stop eating your cereal like
A woodpecker oh my bad dude it’s a bad habit why’d you even bring this spoon guys we could win a PlayStation 5 we can all win one well one what I mean we could win one no we we’re going to win a PlayStation 5 but we haven’t won a
PlayStation 5 yet well well when we win we will have one one you don’t have to say one twice if we win we’ll win one no I mean we won’t all win one yes we will that’s what we’re trying to do we’re trying to win one okay we’re not even
Going to win so it doesn’t matter all right guys we got to think of a catchy slogan for Cookie Crisp dude I got one what is it $5 $5 cookie Cris oh I like that I like that and they can sell cookie Cris for $5 exactly no no guys
Guys we can’t do that Subway already did that what well you know they had that song that was like $55 foot long what no no no no no I’m pretty sure I just thought of it yeah yeah Subway didn’t do that yeah they did they did it like years ago what okay
Foot long just sounds like something you want right o i I got I got it you can’t out Cookie Crisp the Hut dude that’s genius right no that’s just Pizza Hut no it’s not Pizza Hut is you can’t Out Pizza The Hut no no way but yeah I just
Thought that on my own I was like you can’t out Cookie Crisp the Hut you didn’t think of that cuz why else would you say Hut well why does pizza get a Hut because they’re called Pizza Hut well what if we call ours cookie C Hut
But that’s not the name of the company it’s just cookie okay you can’t out cookie the crisp what what Junior no that’s too similar we’re going to get sued no it’s too similar but yeah okay so then why doesn’t uh the color orange sue the color red J that doesn’t even
Make sense no no no the the colors look really similar so why don’t they Su each other cuz they’re similar yeah they know how to get along yeah but they’re not if colors can get along then then companies can get along okay you know what fine guys why doesn’t Aquafina Sue danani
They both sell water it looks the same but they’re not stealing each other there’s ideas for slogans and no we’re saying cookie Chris we’re not saying Pizza H we’re not saying Subway guys can we just go back to watching TV and eating our cookies no we’re going to win
This PlayStation 5 and we’re all going to have one and we get to play all right fine all right so um Joseph you’re going to write the lyrics okay dude I’m going to sing with my beautiful voice and Joseph you’re going to I call you Joseph Cody you’re going to shoot the music
Video and uh we’re all going to have contributed to this cool jingle okay all right fine all right let’s all huddle up oh huddle up all right guys I just sent the song to the contest dude we’re totally going to win oh we’re definitely going to win
Joseph yeah dude are we going to win Cody no we’re going to get sued because this song’s illegal illegal but oh you’re saying the song is so good it should be illegal cuz after people hear it cie Chris is going to sell billions and billions of box of cereal and make
Trillions of dollars and it should be illegal to have that much money totally no it’s illegal because we stole ideas from a bunch of other companies we didn’t steal ideas look Joseph is a lyrical genius and every lyric in this song was 100% original right Joseph yeah
100% original came off the Dome I thought of it like right off the Dome like like the lyric B I’m Cookie Crisp like Joseph thought of that yeah dude I just thought of it I don’t know how I thought of it it just came to me you
Know it just came to him you thought of it because you heard it in the McDonald’s commercial okay okay what about the we have the meat yeah that’s from Arby no it’s not we thought of that originally right Joseph yeah it just came to me in a dream dude yeah yeah we
Have the meat sometimes I leave my TV on you know when I fall asleep but it did come to me in a dream yeah why why would you even say you had Meats there’s no meat in Cookie Crisp no no no it’s not about meat being in the Cookie Crisp
It’s about you know like when you eat a lot of Cookie Crisp you get really fat so you have a lot of meat on your body so you have the meats on your body from eat a lot of cook crisp yeah guys okay whatever when we get sued I don’t want
To have any part of this okay well you basically had no part of this because you didn’t think of anything like you held the camera so you have like 1% of effort like you get you get 1% of credit for this commercial fine oh guys guys
That could be the PS5 oh dude or a lawyer uh hello congratulations you won the PS5 oh my yeah you made my job a lot easier here you go oh my God thank you so much yes Cody we got a PS5 yeah we did no way
Yes way and no thanks to you I I I held the camera you did like 1% of effort so you get to play it for like 1 minute oh dude I want to play it right now well I want to play it right now well dude I
Should play it first I rode the song well I sang the song well well I am the song Because I wrote it everybody’s going to remember the lyrics well it wouldn’t have been a hit if it wasn’t for my beautiful voice singing it no nobody cares about your voice it’s the
Lyrics dude okay how about this how about this Joseph how about this how about for the first 6 months of the year I get to keep the system at my house and for the second 6 Months of the Year you get to keep it at your trailer no that’s
Not fair I want to play it now okay well can you think of a better reason um how about we flip a coin for it and if it lands on Tails I get it take it to my house trailer whatever and if it lands on heads you get to keep it at your
House well that does seem fair wait what about me I helped what about you well I did hold the camera okay how about this how about this how about this if it lands on heads I get to keep it at my house if it lands on Tails Joseph gets
To take it to his trailer and if it lands perfectly on the edge like this like not heads or tails if it just lands right on the edge you get to take it to your house oh come on that’ll never happen yeah because you did like nothing
So you should get like the least amount of chance to keep at your house yeah I think that’s fair I think it’s fair too so I’m going to flip it it went behind the couch let’s go look let’s go look all right Joseph where’s it at uh right there dude yes no
No way it’s a miracle no it’s a nightmare no there’s no way it landed like that okay okay new rule it has to land on a hard surface like that no no you didn’t say that Junior this counts well I didn’t say that no you didn’t say
That dude so I guess it’s fair it’s not fair look it landed like that on carpet so so technically it’s it’s like a it’s like it’s faulty you know we got to redo it no no Junior it landed the way you said so now I get to keep the PS5 but
But you didn’t do anything I sang the song I put my heart and soul into it what your heart and soul in the lyrics you didn’t write what guys if you want to play it you can just come over to my house Cody well well you better set it up
Right because we’re playing it tonight and I’m going to play it all night at your house so set it up right you’re not going to play it before me stupid Corner oh my B so much God Karen you know when my boss gave me that raise for getting
The Cookie Crisp song done I thought I’d use the money on something nice not to buy you a new ukulele but Bo I thought you liked it when I sing to you did I really say that man I must have wanted some that night Bo what should I sing
Next the least annoying thing possible Rock It All Around The Christmas Tree January what God I missed my PS5 thises his PS5 God I got to get it back somehow wait wait I already got the raise I could just go over to whoever’s house I gave the PS5 to and just take it
Yeah yeah I could just dress up like a cop and say that I got to search the house and then just NAB it Bo it’s going to dress up like a car leing now oh wow PS5 I didn’t think you’d actually come to my house oh so
Cool I can’t wait to set you up what who that at the door boy where do you think you going I was going to answer the door no not in my house you better go in the kitchen and wash dishes with your mama but it might be my friends you don’t
Have friends dork okay yeah hello hey there sir but no no I’m not here to arrest anybody well Pro well I I don’t I don’t have any handcuffs let me see see no no handcuffs here you should have said that the first time what do you want well I’m with the
Neighborhood watch and we don’t like your kind here so tell me what you want real fast okay I’m with the neighborhood watch and I’m going door to door looking for uh the the the Boogey Man the boogeyman yeah the boogeyman he’s he’s real dangerous and I think he might be
Hiding under your kid’s bed look if you wanted to search my house you should have just asked look I would to let you come in and search my house oh but if you find anything it’s not mine it’s my wife’s oh so take her to jail okay thank
You sir all right come on all right this my son’s room he a little fruity but uh I get to claim him on my taxes so uh it’s all good yeah he one of them lgbtqs so he like lettuce guacamole bacon lettuce tomatoes and I think quesadillas or something huh yeah yeah
Okay oh no a boogeyman box a boogeyman box that’s a PlayStation 5 no no no sir that’s a boogeyman box see the boogeyman lives in a box and that’s it that’s what that is what whatever works dude as long as I don’t have to go to jail for it
Okay take whatever I’m going to have to confiscate this come here you’re so slighty what’s up Mom not right now Cody what’s wrong Mom you know that little goldfish that you love so much yeah well I was cleaning his fish bowl and he wouldn’t sit still so now he fell down the
Garbage disposal get him out mom what do you think I’ve been trying to do Cody what do you think this Fork is for Mom you can’t get him out with a fork you talk back to me one more time and I’m going to turn the disposal on hold on
Mom there’s someone at the door don’t turn it on hello hey we came to play the PlayStation 5 it’s not a good time guys it’s not a good time you’re just trying to hog it for yourself fine okay come in just my parents are being really weird all right guys it’s right
Here where’s it at Cody I don’t know it was right here how do you lose a PlayStation 5 Cody I don’t know Junior was here a minute ago wow wow wow yeah I know what you’re doing Cody you’re so selfish and so greedy that you hid the
PS5 and you’re going to act like you lost it just so you can play all by yourself but no guys really it was right here a minute ago wait wait what’s this police this is a police hat wait I I know where he lives wait how do you know
He lives dude I I follow him sometimes oh oh that’s cool okay so what you’re trying to do is you’re trying to say that the PlayStation 5 was stolen by a police officer police officers don’t steal they stop people from stealing well it was his PlayStation to begin
With so maybe he wanted it back okay how about this Joseph you stay here and watch and watch Cody and make sure he doesn’t run off and I’ll go to the police officer’s house and see if he stole the PS5 back oh I’ll stay here dude and if he moves it’s puming time
Right it’s puming time oh yeah puming time and if if I go to the police officer’s house and he doesn’t have the PS5 puming time puming time pumin time okay so I’ll be right back Cody I missed you baby I’m so glad I got
My PS5 back I on his PS1 back yeah yeah I did Karen can you just go play that outside please buty wants me to go play outside all right let’s get to playing it’s been a long day time to play me some Spider-Man H yeah look at that I’m
Spiderman who am I I’m Spiderman that’s right what oh good grief who Could That Be oh hey you hey hey how’s that PS5 treating you I had to walk across the Interstate to get here yeah yeah I’m sorry about that okay well uh you left
Your hat oh oh did I oh well well thank you for returning that I’ll just I’ll take that right back from you I’m not giving it back until you give us our PS5 back I don’t have your PS5 oh really cuz I found your hat
Where the PS5 used to be so you came back and took it back and your hat fell off no I I I don’t know what you’re talking about I don’t have it well if you don’t have it then let me look around your house and if I don’t see it
I’ll give you your hat back no what you’re not a cop you you don’t have a warrant you don’t even know how this works well come on okay I guess I just go throw your hat on the interstate no no no no no no I need that if I lose
Part of my uniform I get fined so then let me see you around your house and if there’s a PS5 then you give it back if I don’t see a PS5 then you get to have your hat back uh okay come on in nice place thank
You hey hey what what’s up oh I I heard a noise oh that’s weird bless you bless you thank you you’re welcome Hey this this is a hammer that I have do you like it it it’s nice yeah show it to all my guests it’s it’s
Purple that’s cool weigh 7 oz yeah wow yeah can I get a glass of water you you know you sure can yeah just just help help yourself well that’s actually the freezer oh wait do you have any cups I I don’t well I I don’t really
Want ow I’m sorry I don’t know what I was thinking you your PlayStation’s in the living room just go get it I’m I’m sorry okay there it is the PlayStation yeah and I’m sorry again about the whole Hammer thing I don’t know I I was just being immature I just didn’t want to
Lose the PlayStation I I just got a raise I can buy another one well here’s your hat back oh thank you oh I can’t wait to take this home wait who was that I’ll get it you can’t get the door at my house I’ll get it hello it’s cold and
The interstate is right there I’m scared someone’s going to run off the interstate and hit me let me inside your house yeah okay come in I’m Spider-Man oh I want to be Spider-Man oh yeah sorry why you here well I’m here because I’m the CEO of McDonald’s Burger King Lucky Charms Kit
Kat and State Farm you all the companies and I’m suing you for using our slogans it’s copyright you’re suing it why because you submitted the little Cookie Crisp jingle and I’m not the CEO of Cookie Crisp so I’m suing you because you use our copyright slogans but but I
But I thought it was original kid wasn’t it original definitely 100% I’m suing it and I’m suing you because you’re the one who submitted it oh come on please don’t sue me my life sucks enough as it is well H my son does want the new PlayStation 5 so I guess
You can give me that kid kid give him the PlayStation no way it’s mine give him the PlayStation it’s mine all right take the PlayStation all right sounds good thank you all right the lesson today is don’t steal yeah all right guys are you ready to go to the
Movies oh yeah dude but we should bring our own candy it’s very expensive at the movie theaters already got your cover you think they’ll notice all the candy I’m trying to sneak in no you can’t even notice the candy they’re not going to notice all right good wait we’re going
To the movies yeah well but there’s a pandemic going on we might get sick how well you know there’s a whole bunch of people crowded together in one room well if you don’t want to go to the movies Cody you don’t have to go okay well I
Guess I’m not going then suit yourself dude it’s more popcorn for us yeah more candy for us all right guys let’s go to the movies oh yeah dude I can’t believe they found the snacks Jeffy I know I can’t believe they noticed them I thought I hit them pretty
Good you did hide them pretty good I couldn’t even see them and then they strip searched me and found the Snickers I hit up my butt and then they made us pay for this $50 popcorn man that’s expensive oh Roy ladies ladies there’s enough Roy to go around Joseph Joseph
Remain calm but look who’s sitting next to me Roy get hard oh my God not Roy get hard he get hard I need to autograph dude I’ll ask him I’ll ask him okay hey Mr Roy can we get your autograph no go away losers Roy who are these kids I I
Don’t know babe just ignore we want you to spit in our mouth and also sign his face please no shut up you’re blowing let’s get out of here ladies ladies come back look what you losers did you made me lose my babes I’m so sorry Roy I’m so
So sorry it’s just you’re so cool and we wish we could be you yeah I know everybody does look is there any way you could like sign us or sign our faces and spit on us no no you losers are lame just get out of here oh please please
Please like Roy you’re just so cool and we all idolize you and is there any way you could teach us to be cool like you and get the Babe like you you could never hope to be as cool as Roy I I know but but if you could teach us maybe you
Could teach us to be 1% as cool as you now why would would Roy ever do that um we could pay you uh Joseph how much money do you have I don’t have any money I only have popcorn oh we could pay you on popcorn I don’t accept popcorn as
Payment I only accept free trips to the Super Bowl and nothing less well what if we uh what if we pay you $300 I guess I could do that all right I’ll be at your house in an hour but then I got to leave 20 minutes after
That cuz I have another date okay okay thank you so much Roy I’ll kiss your feet get away from me Roy J did you hear that Roy’s going to teach you how to be cool where are you going to get $300 from dude U I’m going to steal it from
My dad’s wallet okay okay Roy’s got that to be cool hey Jeffy do you want to be cool like Roy sure let’s go be cool like Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy okay guys I’m done with the Roy Shrine do you think he’s going to like it oh yeah dude
Roy will love this only the best for Roy yes only the best for Roy oh guys Roy’s coming assume the positions hey guys what’s up all Hil Roy we’re not worthy it’s a pretty nice setup you guys got here give me an r r give me an o oh give
Me a y why because Roy’s cool Roy’s Cool Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Ro I like that that’s cute all right Roy here’s your money and there’s your candy bars and anything else you need no I think that about covers it but the first thing
You guys got to know is that being this cool is not easy it must not be easy Roy no no you got to get free stuff and ladies want you all the time it’s exhausting sounds like a hard life yeah it is but I’m going to teach you okay
Now we’re going to start with the simplest thing your names our names what’s what’s wrong with our names I hate them they suck you hate our names yeah like what’s your name my name’s Junior it says it on my bib yeah see I hate that like that J I hate that J
Let’s get rid of the J but I like that R though okay let’s put an o and a y after that r that would be Roy yeah yeah it’s Roy you’re Roy now what my name’s Roy Joseph dude you’re so lucky yeah my name’s Roy yeah yeah and what’s your
Name uh my name is Joseph Joseph yes yeah I hate that too that’s terrible yeah but but I like that o in there okay so let’s take the J let’s get rid of that let’s get rid of the Seth and just keep that o let’s put an r in front of
That and a y after it okay wait that’s Roy yeah it’s Roy you’re Roy too I’m Roy too oh we’re both Roy oh man that’s awesome yeah what’s your name back there Jeffy yeah yes see I I don’t I don’t like the Jeff part but that Y is pretty
Cool okay so let’s drop the Jeff keep the Y put an r and the O in front of the Y oh that’s Roy Roy yeah you’re all Roy now we’re Roy we’re ro we’re Roy we have cool names yeah yeah there’s only two genders Roy and girls oh we’re
Roy we’re Roy oh my God we’re so cool I I can feel myself getting cooler right oh call me Roy Roy hey hey Roy hey Roy hey hey what’s up Roy I’m Roy oh you’re Roy too hey hey Roy over there what up Roy Ro yeah yeah yeah you’re you’re all
My Roy all right but first we got to change your clothes okay cuz I hate your clothes oh you don’t like our clothes no they’re disgusting they make me want to throw up so uh do you have like any striped white black and red shirts um I
Don’t think so no that’s okay we’re going to figure out something that makes you look as cool as Roy all right okay I want to be just like you Roy all right we’re going to do a montage where you guys put on outfits and I shake my head
Whenever I don’t like them cool new Roy outfits I feel so cool I can feel the coolness all over my body yeah I’m really cool now okay I think you guys are finally ready to learn Roy’s rules what are Roy’s rules Roy’s rules are the
Rules you have to live by to be as cool as Roy I want to learn Roy’s rules I want to learn okay so the first rule you probably already know never pay for anything anything anything ever wait wait wait how do I get stuff then people
Will just buy stuff for you cuz you’re Roy that’s so awesome yeah people will buy you like Super Bowl tickets and nice restaurants and stuff like that just cuz you’re Roy that’s the coolest thing ever hey give me 20 bucks sure thing Roy here’s 20 bucks what are you doing
Giving you money cuz you ask for it why are you giving anyone anything you’re Roy you get things you don’t give things you’re right I’m Roy people should be giving me money yeah exactly okay now rule number two is hard to get if you
Want to get hard you got to play hard to get wait is that why your last name is gith hard that’s exactly why my last name is gith hard well how do I play hard to get well whenever a girl likes you you just pretend not to like her
Back um let me try hey babe get in here hi this guy’s name is Roy you’re so hot you’re hot too ew nah man you blew it well how’ I blow it you’re not supposed to like her okay watch watch this hey I’m Roy you’re hot yeah I know um don’t
You like me m not really I want you to like me yeah I know they all do but that’s too bad babe see she wants me now cuz I don’t like her that’s so awesome did you write that down Joseph dude I’m writing it down now oh that’s so awesome
You’re so cool Roy okay now rule number three steal other people’s girls even if they’re in a happy relationship especially if they’re in a happy relationship because that relationship isn’t happy because they’re not with Roy oh why don’t we just go after single girls well because they’re single for a
Reason right that means other people don’t want them that’s why you have to go after girls who are already in relationships those are the good ones oh you’re right oh Roy is so smart yeah he’s smart dude that’s why he’s cool okay we’ll do that okay so rule number
Four is YOLO you only live once okay so do whatever you want like get married have kids get divorced don’t take care of the kids do whatever you want to do cuz you’re Roy live a full life live a full life and do whatever you want as
Much as you want so so how many times can I do that oh you can do it forever that brings me to rule number five repeat you do all of this over and over again until you die but the most important thing is rule number one never pay for anything like especially Super
Bowls especially Super Bowl okay oh my God so never pay play hard to get steal people’s girls YOLO and repeat yeah okay so you guys should memorize this and then we’ll go out into the battlefield and try to find some girls okay okay um memorize it okay number one two okay I
Think I memorized it all right let’s go find some girls okay let’s do it okay Roy I’m going to put you through the Roy test to test your Roy what’s the Roy test the Roy test is to get a date with a girl how are we going to get a date
With a girl at my house there’s no girls here I’m Roy there’s going to be girls here wherever there’s a Roy girls just appear ooh there’s a girl right there who wants to talk to her first oh I’ll do it go ahead then he failed how’d he
Fail he’s going to go talk to a girl he approached the girl Roy’s never approach a girl girls approach Roy dang it Roy oh you’re so smart Roy let’s wait for the next girl hi it’s your your name Roy yeah you’re hot I know do you want to go
On a date with me nah you seem like a skank I’m not a skank I’m single I guess look just pick me up at eight or something okay you failed what I got a date though she’s single that means there’s something wrong with her oh I forgot about that yeah you’re only
Supposed to date girls in a relationship yeah you failed Roy run a lap a all right Roy I’m counting on you you’re the last Roy standing okay I got this hi are you Roy yeah whatever you’re hot I know do you think I’m pretty no you look ugly
My boyfriend thinks I’m pretty who’s your boyfriend Roy what she’s your girlfriend yeah go for it bro I can’t steal your girlfriend it’s rule number three you have to it’s every Roy for himself okay I guess you look okay do you want to go on a date with me I guess
We can go to the movies okay you buy the tickets and pick me up at 8 okay you failed how’d I fail you agreed to pay for the tickets Roy’s never pay for anything oh darn it I forgot rule number one I’m very disappointed in you Roy go
Right run a lap okay I’m very so disappointed in my Roy everybody Roy group upstairs Roy get in here sorry we’re running our lap I’m so disappointed in you Roy wait where’s the third Roy uh I think he’s still talking to that girl pathetic he’s been talking
To a girl that long and he hasn’t even gone to a Super Bowl yet I’m so ashamed of him yeah that’s lame he’s getting kicked out of Roy school well don’t don’t don’t kick us out we we want to be Roy yeah please don’t kick us out please
I just don’t know what to do with you Roy you’re just just not Roy enough well we’ll do anything to be Roy enough just please don’t kick us don’t give up on us yeah we’re hopeless without you I don’t know please anything we’ll do anything we’ll kiss your feet I like feet okay
Jph I do have one more way I could make you more Roy what do we have to do we’ll do anything we’ll do anything right right do it yeah yeah yeah it’s a very invasive surgeon I don’t know if you’re ready for it I can handle a surgery I
Can take a surgery yeah yeah we’ll do anything Roy please make us Roy are you sure you want to be full Roy we want to be full Roy please Roy okay follow me rise my Roy oh man I feel like Roy dude I feel exactly like Roy this is crazy oh
You’re beautiful you have that Roy Look I think you’re finally Roy enough to be Roy Roy thinks you’re Roy enough yeah we’re Roy enough all you have to do is pass one more Roy test what’s the final Roy test you have to steal my girlfriend oh we can steal his girlfriend oh yeah
I’m a stealer babe get in here hi you’re hot is your name Roy yeah whatever though do you want to go on a date with me nah my schedule’s busy a please please please please please please please oh look I’ll go on a date with you but look
You got to pay okay okay pick me up at 8 okay fail fail fail fail what I got a date and she’s paying for it you agreed to pick her up Roy never picks anybody up Roy gets picked up Roy doesn’t even own a car cuz he doesn’t need one cuz
Girls pick him up in their car but if Roy did own a car it’d be a rollsroyce but he doesn’t have a car because he doesn’t need it unless somebody bought it for him dude I am tired of this I’m obviously not Roy enough I’m out of here
Dude okay okay Roy you’re the last Roy damn it steal my girl I’ll steal her I’ll steal her babe hi you’re hot is your name Roy yeah whatever do you want to go on a date with me a date with you I have like three dates today already
Yeah yeah good good good but I guess I guess I can fit you in my tight schedule okay what do you want to do okay this is what’s going to happen you’re going to pick me up in your car you’re going to take me to the movies and pay with your
Money then you going to take me to dinner and pay and then you going to pay for dessert and you go back to my house and we’re going to watch Netflix that you paid for on your account okay see you at 8 good good Roy that was exceptional I couldn’t have done it
Better myself oh really yeah I think you’re finally Roy I’m finally Roy I’m finally Roy I did it because you’re Roy you get to wear the cool badge that only Roy get to wear really I I get the Roy cool badge yeah you do okay hurry up and
Put it on me I got get ready for my date what I got to get ready for my date get ready you don’t get ready Roy’s always ready he doesn’t have to get ready if a girl calls you and says says she bought you a plane ticket to go fly down to the
Super Bowl you don’t get ready you just get on the plane and you go you don’t take any luggage or anything she’ll buy you clothes when you get there but I got to take a shower no no no Roy never showers he doesn’t need to shower God I
Don’t understand why you’re not Roy enough I’m so sorry I just want to be like you Roy you can’t be like me Roy you disgust me I’m leaving do I still go on a date with your girlfriend what do you mean do you still go of course you
Still go Roy always goes on dates with girls the fact that you even ask that tells me you’re not Roy enough you know if you had just gone on the date anyway I would have said you were Roy enough but now I’m going to tell her not to go
On a date with you because you’re not Roy so I’m so sorry Roy it’s just so hard being you your life is so perfect and you’re so amazing Joseph I’m bored yeah me too dude guys guys look what I got oh no Joseph he got a teddy bear wow you get a
Teddy bear to replace your stupid doll no no I still have Ken wow he has two of them now a doll and a teddy bear these two but guys do you know what this is a teddy bear a blue one it’s not just any teddy bear it’s a star
Belly so what’s that do what what’s it do what’s it do junior turn off the lights and I’ll show you what it does are you going to mess with my butt no not this time okay let me turn off the lights all right Cody I turned off the
Lights all right guys are you ready to see into another galaxy it’s just a teddy bear Cody Junior I don’t think you understand would about to see not that many people have seen and survived you’re about to travel across space at the speed of light no way dude yeah
You’re bluffing Cody guys are you ready it can’t be that great Cody it’s just a Cody oh my God now is it an incredible it’s like the universe is on my ceiling it’s the coolest thing ever J it just busted a hole of your roof we’re looking
Into space right now that is so cool like oh my God we’re like astronauts oh dude wait where’s this light coming from Joseph don’t look directly oh my eyes my eyes we have to call a doctor to help Joseph Junior I can’t move it’s too beautiful okay okay okay
What we need to do is we have to kick the teddy bear off the couch okay I was traing the spell of it okay let me call a doctor it’s okay Joseph oh God hey there somebody call a doctor yeah doctor we think my friend went blind oh how’d that happen did he
Look at my ugly wife no he looked inside that star belly the star belly oh my God those things are dangerous they have the power of like a thousand suns inside of them I mean like looking inside of one of those is like taking your eyeball out and
Throwing it directly into the sun times a thousand like like where did you even find one of those I got it on the black market oh yeah I shop there all the time for like organs for transplants and stuff well if Joseph looked inside is he
Blind oh yeah if he looked in there he’s definitely blind well can I get a eye transplant oh yeah sure that’d be easy yeah that’ll just be hold on let me figure out the price um a million billion gazillion Killion jillion bedillion zillion dollars well we only have half a kazillion billion gazillion
Dollars well sorry kid that’s just not going to cut it have fun being blind loser well Joseph I guess you’re going to be blind for the rest of haha can’t see hey hey kid Hey kid guess which letter of the alphabet you can’t what see he can’t see you get it cuz he’s
Blind loser who is that anyway Joseph it looks like you going be blind for the rest of your life dude had to give my show so I can see again did someone say soul ah the devil yes thank you CJ I got this wait who’s that oh well it is bring your son
To hell day so this is my son Craig junor but he goes by CJ yeah my name is CJ well what are you doing here oh well I heard your friend say that he would sail his soul to get his vision back well you already took his so yeah you
Took my show when you gave me my new shell oh that’s right I did oh never mind come on CJ no don’t want to go I want to stay here and play toys with my friends you you want to stay here with these losers yeah I want to play toys H
Okay I have a deal for you I am very busy in Hil with a lot of paperwork so if you could just watch Craig junor for a little while I will give you your friend’s Vision back watch your son but I’m so busy today yeah me too
Guys okay fine we’ll watch him great then we have a deal I’ll be back in 24 hours to pick him up so I guess we’re watching the devil’s son dude I’ll be right back I got to use the bathroom this door won’t open Joseph wrong way oh oh okay that way thank
You so CJ what do you want to do I want to start a fire where’ he poof to Junior he can poof of course he can poof he’s a devil’s son of course he knows how to poop oh he can be anyway he’s going to start a
Fire Cinnamon Toast Crunch the taste you can see you B take fire fire wait what’s that smell sh bab your Hat’s on fire sh are you okay no I’m not okay what was that bab b b fire CJ why you like Chev hat on fire yeah fire give me
That stop doing evil stuff Junior it’s the devil’s son I don’t know what you expect him to do boy stuff he poofed where’ he poofed to this time a where’d he poof to Daddy I don’t know Daddy oh man oh man I can’t wait to watch Charlie and fris it’s my favorite show
Ever time for Charlie who likes Charlie we like Charlie everybody hey where you going with my TV get back [Applause] here my T why would you do that bab b b bab I’mma kill you dad what happened to your TV where did he go that little red thing
Threw my TV off the balcony CJ won’t stop doing evil stuff Junior it’s the devil’s son I don’t know what you want him to do oh we have to stop CJ before he breaks more stuff wait who’s CJ 1,800 1900 2,000 baby I finally have enough to
Pay my house payment on time I’m so proud of you Mario poof yeah give me your money what hey come back here no my house play it stop don’t there’s one at the door it’s Goodman put that fire out oh hello hey Mario you called and told me that you
Had your house payment so I came as fast as I could so where is it I don’t have it anymore how how from the time that I left my mansion and got to your house where did it go well you see like this little mini devil like grabbed the money
And then he threw it in a pot of fire what are you on Mario well I’m not on anything you need to clean up and go to rehab no I’m telling the truth look come here look I’m telling the truth see come and look look the money’s all burned why
Would you do that I did not do that the devil did Mario it looks like you made me money roone and cheese and you burnt it no I I did not burn the money it was an accident look look is there is there any way you can still accept the money
It’s still intact a little bit no Mario there’s a million other things I’d rather accept than this burnt money like I’d rather have a a pimple on the inside of my butt crack and every time I wipe it just hurts a little bit just to remind me that it’s still there or I’d
Rather have an Applebee’s gift card and I don’t even eat at Applebee’s all right here we go where’d he go Cody junior he put a sewing needle in the Nerf bullet anyone who can shot with that is going to get seriously hurt how evil we got stop him I would rather stick my hand in a porta potty for a nickel I would rather what
Is that wa what what oh owie I’m tired of you get him oh donkey I can’t wait to dig into my nice delicious creamy cream cheesecake oh it’s going to be like a chocolate soft serve when it comes out oh it’s going to explode my bowels all right let’s dig in
Oh what happened to my J oh come here you I’m going to get you sh what happened that little red booger ate all my cheesecake yeah well I don’t know where he came from I’m playing with my bonon oh hey Mr red guy what doing you
POA we have to stop him Cody he keeps doing a lot of evil stuff we have to stop him who’s at the door uh hello hey there I got a pizza for a guy named Shrek oh don’t get that’s me all right let me show you what you’re getting oh okay
Boom take a look at that oh delicious yeah I’m Uber Eats I got to show you the pizza so you know I didn’t spit in it okay so how’s that look oh looks delicious yeah I made that happen I’m Mo that was rude do what did you do to my pizza oh
CJ CJ you need to stop you’re being too evil and hurting people yeah I never stop oh God please help us hey what do you want in playing a game right now now God yeah yeah whatever I’m playing this plague game whatever I do in the game
Happens in real life it’s awesome well well can you please stop that and tell CJ to stop being evil fine hey hey hey CJ stop it I’m never going to stop well I’ve done all I can I’m going back and playing my game when’s the devil coming back to pick up his
Son oh thank God you’re here oh oh don’t say that oh I’m here to pick up Craig Junior how was it oh he was so awful oh really he was so evil oh what did he do well first he let shey’s hat on fire oh
And then and then he threw my dad’s TV off a balcony and then he threw this guy’s money into a fire oh and then he knocked this guy’s cheesecake on the ground oh Craig junior is this true yes Craig Junior I’m so proud of you what
You’re proud of him yes of course he was too good before so I’m so happy he learned how to be EV come on Craig Jun let’s go steal candy from some orphans well wait but before you leave you said you were going to give Joseph his vision back oh yeah
Right the your eyes are fixed now oh I can see again yeah all right guys now that we all can see again well oh Joseph can see again what do you want to do now oh I know what we’re going to do now get the lights Junior
